The Myth Of Taking On Energy: Empowerment For Empaths

People say,

I've taken on somebody else's energy.

This is one of the most common things that we hear about from empaths,

Healers,

Coaches.

And it's understandable why this idea exists.

When you're sensitive to energy,

You do feel changes after being with certain people or in certain circumstances.

But what if the explanation we've all been given is only part of the truth?

In this episode,

We're going to look at what's really happening in those moments,

And why understanding this changes the whole conversation about boundaries and protection.

We'll talk about why sensitivity can sometimes feel like a burden,

The real reason you might feel drained after a session or an interaction,

And how you can stay open without losing your center.

And we're going to share this perspective through the lens of field dynamics on the mechanics of energetic exchange,

And why the myth of quote unquote,

Taking on energy might be holding you back from working with your field in the most empowering way.

Welcome to the future of wellness,

Exploring self-transformation and holistic healing to unlock your inner potential.

Hosted by Christabel Armstrong and Keith Parker.

Let's start with the common experience.

Maybe you leave an interaction and you feel tired,

Foggy,

Or even a little irritable.

It could be after a long client session,

If you're a practitioner or in a practitioner role,

Could be a tense family dinner,

A heated work meeting,

Or even just catching up with a friend who's having a hard time.

But the core of the experience is you walk away feeling heavier,

More burdened than when you arrive.

That feeling is real,

And for sensitive people,

It can be quite intense.

You might even feel guilty or wonder what's wrong with you.

Like you should be able to handle it better.

Here's what's happening.

Everyone senses energy,

Not just what we might call empaths.

So yes,

You are picking up on something,

But it might not be what you think.

Sensing energy when we simply move around different environments and interact with different people is a normal human capacity.

And feeling a bad vibe when we walk into a room expresses this perfectly.

Everybody listening to this right now has had that experience,

Regardless of whether or not they consider themselves sensitive.

You walk into a space and you notice something unusual.

You're picking up on energy.

You're picking up on vibration.

And that sensing comes through your energy field.

That sensing is an indication of sensitivity itself.

The mechanism of sensitivity can be understood in a couple of basic ways.

One,

Energetic.

One,

More physiological,

Biological.

Energetically,

We use the language of resonance or sympathetic vibration.

And a good example is putting two pianos next to each other and striking the keys on one piano.

The piano that is unstruck will sympathetically vibrate,

Sympathetically resonate with the other piano.

In the same way,

Our energy fields are doing this when we interact with other people and other things.

We come into resonance with the environments and fields that we connect with.

Physiologically,

Science has discovered what they call mirror neurons.

Mirror neurons are the way in which our brain is modeling the world based on what we see outside of us,

Inside of us.

Meaning you see somebody opening a door,

You actually experience to some degree what it's like in yourself to open a door.

So let's move on to what's actually happening when people perceive this taking on of energy.

Is it real?

Is it a myth?

Let's demystify it.

Taking on somebody's energy is likely a misleading way of understanding it.

Think about it.

Taking on kind of sounds like you are carrying somebody else's energy as though they had a piece of luggage,

They hand it to you and now you're carrying what was theirs.

That is misleading and yet our language often reflects this misunderstanding.

We might say what's really happening here is you're feeling your own system's response,

Right?

So you're noticing your resonance with that other person or circumstance or those other people in the instance of a group field and effectively you're mirroring to their state or of their state and it can feel like you've just been given something from outside of you as that part or aspect of your system lights up and get activated.

So as Keith was saying,

This idea you've taken on something from someone else isn't quite right.

What's likely fairer to say is that we are simply resonating to and lighting up in response to whatever is moving through that shared field experience.

So in a sense what we're doing is buying into misidentification.

We're projecting or focusing on somebody else when in fact what's going on is within us and it is in relationship with the other person that something surfaces or arises within us and we mistakenly identify that as them versus ourselves and this is why the perception that you're taking something on is so common yet is not really accurate.

The field in this instance is operating as an interface.

So really important here to clarify the difference between resonance and absorption.

We're often not able to access our center in these moments.

Instead we're coming from a reactive part.

We're being pulled on or triggered or activated by what's moving through the field,

What's resonating to the other individual and in part no doubt they're resonating and amplifying our experience.

So whether it's worry or trying too hard,

Over-efforting,

Anger,

Whatever is making that exchange field draining is being experienced in real time through your own field and system.

And later in the episode we're going to be sharing how we teach people to work with this in our EHT 100 training because once you do have the right tools this really doesn't have to happen.

There's something really empowering about this realization because what it actually does is it takes the responsibility,

The actionable insight as it were,

Right back to us and it means that the other person or circumstance in which we're dealing with doesn't necessarily have to change in order for us to come to greater harmony with ourselves in relation to that matter or that circumstance.

Let's look at the dynamics of any given exchange and these are some principles that we like to map out because it gives people a certain sense of how can energy flow between people in terms of what is where.

So it's pretty simple.

There are really only three primary ways this happens.

One is that you have stuff and when you're sensing anything it's about you.

Other times you may be sensing other people's stuff and that can be through this sympathetic resonance.

And as Christabel mentioned it's not so much a sponge model of picking up other people's stuff but rather a resonance model of feeling other people in how it's modeled within you.

That's quite different.

Lastly,

And this is kind of the blurry in between,

Which is that another person's stuff is bringing up your stuff meaning you get in touch with somebody else's anxiety or anger for example.

That resonance moves that anger or anxiety empathically through your system and instead of it being a clean read within you if you have that discernment ability what happens is that the anger or anxiety within you gets stirred up.

The resonance between you and somebody else is actually enabling you to meet or experience your anger or anxiety and this is the most confusing of the exchanges but it is also likely the most common.

So here's the key.

The energy field is an intelligent interface not a sponge.

Energy doesn't stick unless there's something in you for it to bind with.

So you might feel drained when your coherence drops or when you're over identified with somebody else or when old relational imprints are quietly running the show.

In those moments you're relating from a facet of your personality rather than from your still centre and that centre,

The still point in the middle of the storm as it were is where everything becomes spacious,

Free and clear and from there you can be with anyone in any state and not lose yourself.

So here's the myth buster.

You don't need to armour up before every interaction.

True resilience actually comes from deep integration not from building walls.

This is where there's an opportunity to talk about energy anatomy and what it means to orient to centre and why that makes all the difference because we're talking about it in a particular way.

Let's get a little structural technical so people can think about this from a different angle if it's not making sense.

Our centre is our central channel.

It's where the chakras are.

It's the core of your being.

It's the core of your energy anatomy.

That centre is in a certain sense a sacred place because it can't be blocked.

It's free.

It's open,

Spacious and so we tend to identify and orient within our body,

Our system,

Our self outside of this centre and when we do we lose the ability to be fully grounded and fully present.

So in essence the cultivation of understanding the energetic exchange between you and somebody else is to understand you in the first place and that is to understand your core,

Your centre as a relational reference so that you have clarity in terms of how it is that the dynamics are playing out between you and others and then you'll be much more clear.

I love this.

This is where we can cultivate what we might call true freedom or real boundaries.

In this cultivation that Keith's describing of energetic centredness it's going to change everything about how you approach boundaries and protection.

When you're deeply centred this sensitivity stops feeling like a liability and instead it starts to become your greatest asset.

So let's move to a hot topic,

This idea of boundaries,

Right?

Do we need boundaries in this context?

Ideally no because the self is sovereign.

Practically yes because boundaries are going to help us navigate our growth edges.

Rigid boundaries make us inflexible,

That's the walls we're referring to but having no boundaries at all is going to leave you vulnerable to overwhelm.

True development means that your boundaries,

Your walls can soften as you become more integrated.

So you learn to stay open and present and engaged without losing any aspect of yourself.

So this can be a kind of a shock to many people to hear this who do identify as empaths.

Certainly a lot of people that we encounter,

A lot of people that we work with have a profile of being empathic,

Being sensitive.

That's sometimes the reason why people find energy work of course is to work on boundaries,

Is to work on discernment.

And so when you say to somebody,

This isn't about other people's stuff it's about your stuff.

Or when you say,

Yes you may need boundaries now,

Yes you may need to develop quote-unquote protection but ultimately it's about loosening or lessening those boundaries.

Loosening or getting rid of the idea of needing any protection whatsoever.

That can be really shocking to a person who feels like all they want is more of a sense of boundary.

So I think this is really interesting that it often comes as being counterintuitive to the initial requests that many people have.

And so to some degree we have to start by understanding are we over-boundaried?

Are we too rigid?

Or are we under-boundaried?

Do we not actually have a sense of where we end and other things begin?

And when we can do that and we can start to actually develop discernment about that and put in the proper strategies then we can start to navigate the world in a way that has more clarity.

And these kinds of confusing interactions or ones in which there is a sense of I'm exhausted,

I'm drained,

I feel like there's something chaotic as the result of just interacting with people in general those things can really start to balance themselves out.

A lot of what we're describing comes from longer-term development.

Sometimes people ask us if there's some simple ways to reset your energy in the moment.

There's a couple of things we might suggest.

One of them is breath coherence.

This can be as simple as a four to six count inhale followed by a four to six count exhale.

Slow even breathing is actually one of the fastest ways to bring your feel back into coherence.

You can imagine your breath moving in and out of the heart space and this alone can create a physiological shift calming your nervous system,

Regulating your heart rhythm and re-centering in the field.

Another option is what we might call a micro reset.

Pause,

Release and reconnect.

So if you find yourself in the middle of an interaction or even an altercation give yourself just a five,

Ten second break.

Drop your shoulders,

Unclench your jaw,

Relax the belly even place your feet flat on the ground for a moment if possible.

And this combination of actions can really signal to your system the intention to reset.

They're just small shifts but it can act like clearing static from a radio signal.

A final idea might be just a touch of self-inquiry.

All right,

Curiosity in the moment.

What part of me is in the room right now?

Do I have access to my center,

My heart,

My central channel?

Or am I being pulled into a reactive pattern?

This one's a little bit more challenging to track and connect to but it is a powerful self-check.

If you notice that you're orientating from worry,

From over-efforting,

From trying to manage the other person's experience,

Right?

A subtle aspect of control,

Just gently return to your center.

Imagine gathering your awareness back into the core of your body,

That vertical line from the crown to the base and let everything else soften around that.

Just use that breath to reconnect you,

Reminding your system where what we might call home base can be found.

In the end,

Taking on somebody else's energy may very well be a myth.

But the good news is that your sensitivity is not a weakness,

It's a skill,

It's a gift.

It's something that can be refined.

The more you understand your field,

The more you connect with your energy,

You're going to see that you've never really been carrying somebody else's energy.

You've been meeting your own self in particular ways and that is where the growth,

That is where the wonderful development takes place.

And furthermore,

That's where your real power resides.

Thanks so much for listening today.