The Art Of Communication

A very big Aloha.

I'm Reverend Cindy Palos and I wanted to talk about learning how to navigate your day and how to stay positive while doing that.

Now we all realize that there are challenging times that come into your life.

That can happen.

It can be even a long cycle or it could be just a short thing.

But the best thing to do is to know how to use what you've gotten from being connected to your inner self and from meditation of how to go to that place inside that is the objective observer so that you don't react in a way that can get into some nasty situations.

I know you probably have had that happen.

You can start out with best intentions on your day and have a positive attitude but something can come up that pushes your buttons.

And I often wonder about that.

I ponder that situation.

I really do believe that when that happens it's giving you training.

It's giving you lessons to get stronger.

And learning how to stay positive and not react when your buttons get pushed is a truly valuable thing.

And it does tie in to what you learn in meditation.

Because we know that as you learn to meditate you get much more connected to your inner self and your thoughts and your thought process and to your higher self and to what's going on inside of you.

And that's a wonderful,

Wonderful thing that you probably have learned and loved.

Now here's the gift that can come that can be used in your life.

Taking that what you've learned,

That which you've learned in meditation and being able to integrate it.

To integrate it into those situations in your life to not react and not to get your buttons pushed and not to get into a situation that can be rather sticky.

Now this involves realizing that hey maybe you know something happened and you were right and someone else was wrong and you certainly feel like you have the right to defend yourself.

That's understood.

But that doesn't necessarily work the best.

It's just reacting to a negative situation usually doesn't come from that place inside yourself that is in that place it can navigate and get through a situation that's tricky in the best way.

But if you have developed your chops,

As they say in the music field,

Enough to know that huh okay here's what I'm gonna do.

And you have to be able to do this very quickly because a situation could be something that could meet immediate dealing with.

But if you just do this simple trick you'll find it helps.

And that is learning how to stay objective by breathing.

You know how important breathing is.

I talk about going into that breath at every meditation.

Learning how to go into that place inside that breath that sweeps your mind.

But if you can just take a couple of deep breaths.

Just pause for a moment and breathe deeply in.

Hold your breath for just a second or two because you're in a tight situation here.

Just breathe out and do it once again.

And come from that higher place inside yourself that's directing you how you wish to navigate a tricky situation.

Now the best way is usually not to react emotionally but to be understanding and to turn the tables.

And sometimes that's possible.

Sometimes it's very difficult.

But one of the things you can do is repeat what was said to you in a calm and understanding voice and saying,

If I understand what you're saying or feeling here this is what I heard.

This is what I felt that you were saying or what you're reacting to.

And then you slowly repeat what was said.

Not in anger.

Not an accusation.

But just as if you really wanted to have a conversation and be clear and resolve that situation.

What that shows to the person who is starting this whatever,

You know,

Creating the situation,

Is that you're listening.

It gives them a second to pause themselves.

And by listening to you they're coming out of their state of mind that is probably very explosive.

Probably not centered at all.

But you give them a chance to hear what they've actually said without accusation.

And then they can realize how you were listening and be clear in what was said.

That alone,

Even if it's just a minute,

Can make a huge difference.

And at the end of repeating what was said you say,

Is that correct?

Did I hear that correctly?

Again,

Not in a way,

Not an accusation.

But allowing the person,

Most often they would say yes.

They may say no because they may not even be aware of what they were saying.

I know people that lose it so bad when they lose their temper that they're not even aware of what's coming out of their mouth.

So,

I mean,

There's a couple of possibilities.

One is that they will be shocked that they said these things and be defensive.

And the other is they might just say,

Yes,

That's what I was saying.

They may want to go on after that and try to explain,

As they've heard it,

To explain why they were saying those things.

Which could lead into a another long episode.

But it might also,

And it can often,

Then start a conversation which can dissipate the anger and try to understand where the person is coming from,

Why they're saying that.

And then,

After you have the conversation,

You can try to explain what you were thinking,

What you were really trying to express that they may have reacted to in the wrong way or may have misinterpreted.

It's a great gift to be able to have a conversation in a situation that is charged,

If it's done in the correct and proper way.

Now,

It may not be immediate.

The other circumstance can be if someone says something over the phone and hangs up,

Which then creates this issue where you could not do this if the other person hanged up the phone on you or something.

But then you can take it to an email or another form of communication,

A text or something.

The thing is that it's good to resolve these situations when they occur.

And the surprising thing is that if you're really coming from that high place inside yourself that you get to when you meditate,

You may actually be helping that person a lot.

And you may really be expressing,

Learning yourself how to express yourself from your higher level and your inner self and from that place that is in contact with that place that is able to communicate in a very potent and powerful way.

So this is a learning lesson.

And in some ways,

You actually then when you get in these situations,

You learn,

Okay,

I have the skill,

I have the option,

I have the ability to handle this.

It gives you confidence where you don't get too emotional,

Or don't react in an angry way.

If you just know that you are a person who can deal with these situations.

Now,

Communication is an amazing thing.

Communication is truly a great gift to learn how to use and how to do.

And the bottom line is a lot of people,

Even if it's not a supercharged,

Angry situation,

A lot of people want to really communicate,

But they're so stuck in their own mind that they don't know how to respond and react.

I hear this,

I do many interviews,

But I hear other people doing interviews and they have a list.

I'm sure you've heard this on TV when you listen to some interviews on TV.

The person is doing something that they respond to and from a question from the person interviewing them.

And then the person interviewing them goes on right to the next question that they wanted to talk about that they wrote down and plan to do ahead of time,

Rather than responding to what the person said.

Now,

Here's the key.

If you learn to really just respond to what is being communicated,

If you learn to really engage in what is being communicated,

You will find that there's usually something deeper that person is trying to express.

It can be extremely powerful,

Can be quite eye-opening and quite rewarding,

Actually,

In many ways.

When you are aware enough for the person recognizing that you really are listening,

That you really care,

That is a gift,

A gift to learn,

Really a true gift that can be so important to learn and to use.

Communication is quite a beautiful thing.

If you take the word communication apart,

It's commune.

You're communing,

Right?

I mean,

That's a very powerful way of looking at communication.

You're communing.

And I see what's going on more and more with people's communication when they use some of their listening devices or when they use their social media devices.

I see it the worst,

Maybe a messenger and things like that,

Where you just have a few words or some emojis that come up,

And you shorten it down to just a quick few words,

You know,

Rather than being present with that true energy that's being conveyed.

I love being able to have personal conversations that way.

And this also can be used in phone conversations.

If you can't do a personal conversation in person,

You can do the same thing on a phone.

So,

More and more people do not want to make phone calls these days.

It's like,

Oh dear.

Really,

Truly,

It's quite amazing.

I'm old enough where I remember it was like,

Well,

That was kind of the usual way of communication,

Was in person or on the telephone.

But now it's really more unusual.

But if you're doing interviews,

And I'm seeing more and more podcasts happen around the world.

I'm sure you have too.

It's like,

I've been doing podcasts for 20 years.

And all of a sudden,

It's a new thing to have a podcast.

But being in radio,

I have all these interviews I've done that I've put up on podcast over the years.

And that is also,

You know,

A way to share that same energy in a podcast,

If you wish,

That you can really do that by not hiding behind a list of questions.

And being open enough to really go down that interesting exploring of an idea in such an amazing way that it can open up ideas and all kinds of beautiful situations.

Communication is a great gift.

And if you really get good at it,

You get more confidence.

Anytime you run into these difficult communications,

You have an opportunity.

Or,

You know,

You can be a victim or you can let it end badly,

Which is always unfortunate.

You know,

You never really want to have that hanging out there.

It happens way too often,

Way too often.

I kind of can see this when I watch some of the newscasts where they're doing,

Trying to express their opinion.

And it's pretty easy when you're watching TV and you see a person in a newscast,

Where they're coming from,

By what they say,

And what their real attitude and what their situation is.

You can see their ego,

You can see a lot of things that they may not be aware of,

You know.

So you can really hone your skills when you see how people can work with this in a positive way or be subject to this and also sometimes not convey what they really wish to convey in a positive way.

So it is a skill you learn when you meditate,

And then that skill being applied to your everyday life.

Breathing,

Really connecting with that higher self you have for that inner direction on what to say,

Can really happen and it can be very helpful.

It can change your relationships,

It can change your friendships,

It can be something that's a true gift.

So I really hope and pray that you can use these tools to make your life improved in your communication with your loved ones and for people you know,

And maybe for work,

And maybe for your podcast.

It's a beautiful gift that you can explore and you can tailor to fit it the way you need it the best.

And I wish you all my best and I bow to you in gratitude with love.