Path To Letting Go Of Regret

Welcome and thank you for joining me today.

I wanted to talk about letting go of regret and self-compassion and explore how it can help us and ultimately lead more fulfilling lives.

So I want to first start by understanding what regret is and why we often feel ourselves trapped in its grip.

So regret is a natural human emotion that arises when we perceive that we've made a mistake or we've failed in some way.

So we've all experienced those moments and we cringe at something we said or we did.

We replay the scenario in our minds asking ourselves why did I say that?

Why did I do that?

And this self-criticism can become a really heavy burden that holds us back.

It often becomes a weight on our shoulders.

We question ourselves.

We doubt ourselves.

We wonder if I'm going to make the same mistake again.

And so it just really can hold us back.

On the flip side,

What is self-compassion and why is it essential?

So self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with the same kindness,

The same understanding,

The same forgiveness that we would offer a friend.

And I always love the idea of what would I say to a friend or how would I treat a loved one?

Like this idea using that same kindness toward yourself.

It is easier said than done.

We are our own worst critics.

We've all heard that so many times.

We've all felt that so many times.

But if we pause and we stop some of the narrative,

Some of the doubt,

The questions in our head,

And we start to think about what would I do if a friend came to me in this situation?

How would I support them?

And then we do that for ourselves.

It gets easier and easier.

So self-compassion kind of has a few different components to it.

That self-kindness,

Which I'll talk about a little bit more in a second,

Common humanity,

And of course mindfulness.

So these elements work together to help us navigate our regrets and transform them into opportunities for growth,

Transform them into opportunities to move forward.

So let's first just kind of back up to the idea of self-kindness.

That involves being gentle with ourselves,

Replacing that self-criticism with self-compassion.

And again,

We're so hard on ourselves.

We carry those thoughts of I should have,

Why didn't I,

All of those things.

And we carry them with us for a long time.

And usually like if there was someone else involved,

What we're holding on to doesn't even impact them in the way that we think it does.

We remember that situation the way that we perceived it.

They,

Unless we've had a conversation with them about it,

May have had a completely different take,

A completely different perspective on that conversation.

And the thing that we're beating ourselves up about,

The thing that we're holding ourselves back about,

Isn't even something on their radar.

So consider that.

Common humanity.

This is kind of like,

What is this concept?

And what this is,

Simply put,

Is that it reminds us that we're not alone in our imperfections.

We all make mistakes.

It is a universal part of being human.

Somehow we believe that everyone else is perfect.

No one else would have made this mistake.

No one else would have said,

Done,

Etc.

And that it's only us dealing with that.

It's only us making mistakes and questioning and doubting our actions.

So we try to live up to what we think everyone else expects of us,

When we're often doing like way more than is enough.

Okay?

Those expectations,

Again,

Are things that we're thinking.

Unless we've had a conversation with someone,

We don't know.

We are thinking that this is what they expected,

And this is what we should be doing,

Instead of actually talking about it and understanding that completely.

So recognizing that everyone goes through this,

Can lessen the isolation.

It can lessen the self-judgment that often accompanies regret.

So again,

That is common humanity.

We are not alone.

These things that we experience are not like,

They're just not us.

Everyone goes through these things.

So then the next piece that I mentioned was mindfulness.

So how mindfulness and meditation can significantly enhance our journey toward self-compassion.

Mindfulness involves being fully present and aware of our thoughts,

Our feelings,

And our sensations.

This is the important part,

Without judgment.

Without judgment.

So through mindfulness practices,

Like meditation,

We can cultivate the ability to observe our regrets without getting lost in them,

Without letting them take us down the rabbit hole and ruin our day,

Ruin our week,

Ruin our month,

You name it.

So meditation offers a space to acknowledge our regrets,

Allowing them to come and go,

Passing through our minds,

Kind of like the clouds.

I like to think of a car coming at you,

And you can only see it for so long before it is gone.

It's out of your sight.

And that's kind of what we need to do with some of these thoughts that keep nagging at us.

So not dwell on them,

Okay?

It's one thing to understand self-compassion and mindfulness,

The concepts of them,

But it's a totally different thing to integrate them into your daily life.

I know,

I've been there.

With intention,

With practice,

It really takes slowing down.

It takes making space to acknowledge our feelings around certain situations,

But not to dwell on them.

Allow them to pass by,

Letting them go.

Learn from them,

Allow them to help us grow,

But don't live in that regret.

Self-compassion isn't about avoiding responsibility for our actions.

It's about acknowledging the fact that we're human and choosing to support ourselves through the process of change.

So I mentioned we can learn from things.

We could say,

What could I do differently next time?

We could have a conversation if there's someone else involved and say,

How could we have handled this differently so that you're not upset,

I'm not upset,

Whatever the situation is.

So I want you to reflect on how embracing self-compassion along with mindfulness and meditation can help you let go of regret.

How letting go of regret can help you lead a more fulfilling life.

Yes,

I said long-term.

This isn't a quick fix scenario.

It takes that intentional action every day to be present,

To process what is going on,

To be mindful of our actions and the results of our actions.

And I also said personal growth plan.

If we don't plan,

We'll stay stuck where we are forever.

And staying stuck is actually moving us backwards from where we want to go,

From what we've identified that we want for our future.

So I hope that this has provided you with a deeper understanding of self-compassion,

Mindfulness,

Meditation,

And how transformative having this in your life,

Using these practices daily,

How much potential there is to grow,

To have personal healing.

So we let go of that regret that we have over things from the past.

We don't regret the future.

We regret things we've done or things we've said in the past.

And so we can work through that,

We can learn from that,

And we can grow and move forward.

So when you find yourself kind of tangled up in that regret,

Pause and remember that mindfulness is your path to greater self acceptance,

Self-compassion,

And help us find peace.

Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend and watch how it transforms your life.

Watch what happens when we have that same thoughtful intention in how we treat others for ourselves.

So thank you for joining me today.

I encourage you to continue exploring all of this that we've talked about and how it can impact your life.

And I hope that your journey is filled with self-kindness,

With personal growth,

And self-compassion.