How to Use Aloneness in Meditation to Center and Ground Yourself

Hi,

This is Dhyansi and you are listening to Dhyansi Meditation Podcast.

This meditation session was held in Basel,

Switzerland on 15th October 2018.

Once someone asked a Zen master,

What is the greatest miracle in the world?

The Zen master replied,

I am sitting here alone with myself.

Where is the greatest miracle in the world?

This meditation session is inspired by the Zen master saying,

Hope you enjoy the talk and the meditation alone.

It's very nice to see that so many of you are here,

That the art of meditation,

The art of silence is touching you,

Touching your life.

And I'm happy to be your guide in this for the next 50 minutes.

There is a Zen parable that I would like to bring in to today's meditation session.

Someone asked Zen master,

What is the greatest miracle in this world?

The Zen master said,

I'm here alone with myself.

Let me repeat,

The question was,

What is the greatest miracle in this world?

And the Zen master said,

I'm here alone with myself.

In order to understand and go into this Zen parable,

What I would like you to do today is to make an assumption that all of you here are all alone.

Despite so many of you sitting here just for the next 40 minutes,

50 minutes,

Assume that you're all alone.

And I'm here only to help you to support you into that aloneness.

I'm in the background.

You are all alone here.

Why this assumption?

Because if you go into yourself,

If you go into the truth of things,

You are always alone.

You are always alone.

This is a realization which those who go into their self,

Go into their meditation,

Go into their inner depths.

They come to this as a realization.

And you will also come to this realization at some point of time that you are all alone.

And that is something we would like to familiarize ourselves with today.

What does it mean?

And when you come across the state in your meditation journey,

You are more familiar with what does it mean that you are all alone.

We take birth alone.

We die alone only in the middle.

We start relating to this or that and all the theater,

All the drama,

All the things of the outside world and also of the inner world.

All what we think,

All what is going on in our head,

So many thoughts,

So many images,

So many things going on from here and there,

All these things are something that do not let us be in the state of aloneness.

What is this aloneness that I'm talking about?

I'm not talking about loneliness.

Loneliness is when you're missing something.

Loneliness is when you're not missing anything,

When you are there and that's it.

In aloneness,

You are complete.

In loneliness,

There is something missing.

You're always looking outside.

You're looking at the other.

You're trying to fill a certain gap,

Which is there in yourself.

In aloneness,

There is no gap.

You're complete as you are.

In loneliness,

There is fear.

There is darkness.

In aloneness,

There is no fear.

There is no darkness.

There is only yourself,

Your being,

Your presence.

So this aloneness that I'm talking about is just a recognition of the fact that you are there and we live our entire lives without actually recognizing that we are there.

We are even standing at a bus stop or anywhere.

Immediately we find a distraction.

We find something to take our attention away from ourselves to something else.

And this is something which has been trained in us as a conditioning since our birth,

Since our education,

Since everything that we do in our life is in a way running away from our own self.

Is running away from our own aloneness.

And this aloneness is so beautiful.

This aloneness is not that you are not able to relate to other people.

It simply means that when you are with yourself,

When you are in your center,

When you are 100% in your aloneness,

Even the quality of how you relate to others completely changes.

When you are lonely,

You're relating to others.

You're dependent on others.

You're wishing that you get something out from the others.

But when you are alone,

When you have that centeredness and that presence,

You're relating out of love.

You're relating out of compassion.

You're relating out of giving and not taking.

This subtle difference between loneliness and aloneness is something that needs to be understood and in the context of meditation brought into practice.

Because at some point of time in your meditation journey,

You will come across this fact that you are always alone.

Let me give you one funny example.

Today I was discussing about loneliness and aloneness in the morning and a friend mentioned that in Japan,

There are men who are trying to relate to even a sex doll.

They go into a relationship even with a sex doll.

They are considering the sex doll as their love partner.

They are taking them for a walk.

They are taking them wherever they go.

So much is the craziness and the fear of not being able to be just with oneself and having the necessity to relate to the other is there in us.

And unless we are first recognizing ourselves,

Unless we are first in our aloneness,

Situated strongly without having the fear of going here and there,

We cannot relate to others in the right quality of things.

What does this mean in terms of meditation?

We can practice meditation in three steps today,

Which will allow us to emphasize more on this aloneness,

The centeredness,

This presence that we call as pure being that we call as ourselves.

The first thing that we'll do is we'll try to become aware of everything that comes to our awareness,

Beat sounds from outside,

Beat sounds of things in the room.

Anything that comes to your awareness,

We become aware of it and once and for all put it aside,

Shift our awareness to our aloneness,

Which means to our own self.

In this entire session,

Try to focus just on your aloneness.

Go as deep as possible in your aloneness,

Assuming that you are sitting here absolutely alone.

There's nobody else sitting with you.

Then the second type of distraction that you would have,

Thoughts,

Emotions,

Images,

Any kind of internal things going on in you.

All this is also a way for you to move away from yourself and become aware of all of that and put it aside for the next minutes when we sit in meditation.

Come back to your aloneness even out of those thoughts,

Even out of the mind,

Even out of anything that is occupying your attention in the inner space.

It could be some pain in the body,

It could be thoughts in the mind,

It could be sounds outside,

Anything that is taking your attention away from you for a few minutes,

Put it aside,

Focus back,

Shift your awareness back to yourself.

How can you do that?

If you need a support,

If you need an anchor,

Use your breath.

So first step,

We will become aware of anything that is distracting us,

Put it aside,

Bring our focus back to ourselves,

To our aloneness.

Then we will anchor that aloneness on our breath so that we stabilize in this centeredness of our own self.

And once we have done that,

We even leave the awareness or this anchor of the breath and just stay aware of ourselves,

Of our aloneness,

Of our pure being.

It's a simple,

Very simple silent meditation,

Not much guidance is needed,

But I'll try my best to give you from time to time guidance throughout this meditation so that you can focus on yourself more than otherwise.

Any questions before we start this meditation?

For those who are new to the session,

My only request is that while you're sitting,

There's no necessity to sit cross-legged.

There is no necessity to sit with hands in a particular posture.

The only requirement is that you sit with your back straight.

You keep your head,

Neck,

Everything,

The entire body in a relaxed posture,

In a posture that is easy for you,

In a posture in which you could allow yourself,

Your body to let go,

Your mind to let go and just focus on your breath,

On yourself.

If you need to take support of the wall,

You can do that as well.

There's nothing wrong with that except for putting your head next to the wall,

Because when you do that,

You will fall asleep.

So in today's session,

My wish is that we sit a bit longer,

Because I know some of you want to sit longer in silence in meditation.

So for those who cannot sit any longer,

Try not to make disturbance for the other people,

Try not to disturb others,

Although we will try to focus so much on ourselves that it would not matter what sounds are going on outside,

What sounds are made by the other people,

We'll always be just focused on ourselves,

But as a courtesy,

We try not to disturb others.

If there are no questions about how to sit,

What to do,

We can start the meditation.

Close your eyes.

Take a nice deep breath in from the nose and out from the nose.

Keep your back straight.

Shoulders relaxed.

Hands nicely resting on your thighs or in your lap.

Throughout the meditation,

Keep on breathing as normally,

Naturally as you always do.

For the next minutes,

All of you assume that you're all alone.

Allow yourself to settle in this assumption that you're sitting all alone.

And bring your awareness to all the sounds that you hear outside.

Let it rest.

Take note of everything that comes in your awareness.

The sound of the tram.

All the subtle sounds in your environment.

All the subtle sounds in your environment.

Simply remain aware of these sounds.

Now shift your awareness to your mind.

All the subtle sounds in your mind.

Notice the thoughts.

The images.

Whatever is going on in your mind right now,

Simply observe as a spectator,

As an observer.

All the subtle sounds in your mind.

Keep on observing your mind.

All the subtle sounds in your mind.

Thoughts,

Images,

Sounds.

All are a projection of your mind.

All are a projection of your mind.

Keep your awareness on your mind.

Simply observe the movements and allow it to settle on its own.

Allow your mind to calm down and settle on its own.

As your mind is slowly settling down,

Bring your awareness to your breath.

And simply observe your breath flowing in and out.

Draw your awareness away from everything else and only on your breath.

As you sit here all alone.

Allow yourself to settle in this aloneness.

Draw your attention from everywhere else and just keep it on your breath.

Let go of your body.

Let go of your mind.

Just stay with your breath as it flows in and out.

Let go of your mind.

With every breath out,

Go deeper in your aloneness.

Allow yourself to go in your aloneness.

Stay anchored on your breath.

Let go of everything else except your breath.

Let go of everything else.

Don't bother about anything.

Simply remain focused,

Aware,

Attentive of your breath.

Let go of everything else.

Let go of everything else.

As you remain aware of your breath,

Your body is becoming more still,

Your mind is becoming still,

And you're just aware of your breath.

Let go of everything else.

Stay absolutely still and silent.

Keep your mind.

Keep your awareness on your breath.

Allow it to settle on your breath with ease.

Don't force it.

Simply allow it to happen.

Let the sense of aloneness grow in you.

Allow yourself to become more alone in this moment.

Just yourself.

No sounds,

No objects,

No thoughts,

Just you observing your breath.

Slowly,

Even let go.

Slowly,

Even let the breath go out of focus,

And simply remain aware of yourself as you are in this moment.

Don't touch anything.

Stay where you are.

Simply aware and silent.

Stay here,

Aware and silent.

Don't touch the sounds.

Don't touch any thought.

Let them be while you remain silent and aware of yourself.

Stay here.

Stay here.

Don't touch your body.

Don't touch your mind.

Stay like this.

Simply aware of yourself and absolutely still.

Exactly here.

Stay here.

No sounds.

What is the greatest miracle in this world?

I'm here,

Alone,

With myself.

I'm here,

Alone,

With myself.

I'm here,

Alone,

With myself.

No sounds.

No sounds.

Now bring your awareness back to your breath and take this moment to observe your body,

Sensations in your body,

Sensations in your mind,

And with the sense of centeredness,

Very slowly and gently,

You may open your eyes.

No sounds.

No sounds.

If you feel like stretching your legs,

Move your body.

No sounds.

Last couple of minutes we take to share our experience,

If there is something to share,

If there are any questions,

If there are any doubts,

I sensed a couple of you were in pain because you wanted to move and probably you never set for 30 minutes in one posture.

But this is the opportunity to see that it's possible,

To see that you can bring yourself back to your center,

And also at the same time to see how difficult it has become to just be with ourselves.

Constantly while we are with ourselves or wanting to be with ourselves,

Our mind,

Our body,

Our entire system is wanting to be somewhere else.

And this is something that needs to change,

That should change in our life where we,

Even for a few,

Couple of minutes a day,

5 minutes,

10 minutes,

We should be able to sit down and come back to our center,

Come back to ourselves,

No matter whatever is going on outside,

Whatever is going on inside,

Unless we come back home,

Come back to ourselves,

The only possibility is that we will just get carried away and get lost.

My intention to share this meditation,

Share this silence with you today,

Was just to encourage you to sit down and always come back to your center,

To your aloneness,

Where there is nobody else,

Where there is no object,

Where there is no person,

Where there is no movement,

Where there is no content except for you,

Yourself.

Any questions,

Anything from the session that was making you think,

Making you share?

Was it difficult to sit down?

Yes,

It was difficult.

For me it was a little difficult.

But I was waiting for this moment during the week because I felt the last session helped.

But when you have no expectations,

You want to feel.

But for one second I didn't know where I am.

I know I am in Basel,

In Switzerland,

And I miss my country all the time.

So for one second,

Well the same,

I recognized just myself.

That was a good experience for me.

Thanks for sharing that.

Two things I just want to briefly comment on that.

One,

Every session,

Not just here,

But when you sit down is different.

So if you sit with a certain expectation,

It might be fulfilled,

It might not be fulfilled.

This is a part of the meditation journey that we eventually have to accept,

Have to learn,

That whenever we sit down,

The experience could be completely different,

Entirely different.

That's something to note as number one.

And number two is,

It does not matter where you are,

Basel,

Or your own country,

Or any part of the world,

As long as you are in yourself,

It's enough.

And this is something that is lacking the most in most of us.

We are everywhere,

But we are not in ourselves.

And if you get that sense,

Anyhow,

Be it meditation,

Be it any other way in your life,

Where you can feel that you are in yourself,

That you are there,

That you are here.

I think that's the home,

That's the first home for our consciousness,

For our awareness.

Rest everything else is just our projection,

Just the projection of the mind,

Just a way for us to create the illusion of this world that I belong here,

I belong there,

I come from there,

And so on.

So,

That would be my wish for you,

Wherever you are,

If you feel that you are in your center,

You are here.

That's enough.

Anything else?

I think this sense of aloneness,

I think we all have it when we are kids.

And then at the second point,

It's more the.

.

.

Or this is at least my thought,

The society put a lot of pressure on the fact that somehow you have to.

.

.

Not that you don't have to relate,

But somehow it's.

.

.

If you really feel good in this,

You are aloneness,

You are a bit weird.

Yes,

If you are alone,

If you are happy alone,

Of course nobody can take any advantage of you,

Because if nothing is missing in your aloneness,

Why would you go out in the world and participate?

So,

Of course we are trained,

We are conditioned to always feel that something is missing in us,

That is why we go out and relate in the ways we relate.

But what I'm also adding to that is,

Even in that aloneness,

Even when you don't need anybody,

Even when you are 100% complete in your own self,

Still there is a way to relate to everybody.

And that is not to be forgotten.

When you say,

I'm here alone,

I'm fully complete in my presence,

In my awareness,

Still,

While we relate with others,

The quality of that relation changes,

And that quality of love,

Compassion and that relation has no utility,

Has no monetary value,

So that's why we are not taught to think that way or to live that way.

But again,

It's our choice,

Either we always relate to others in an attempt to fulfill this loneliness,

And fill this with things,

With people,

With relations,

With objects,

Or we first establish ourselves in aloneness,

In our completion,

In our presence first,

And then we share what we have as love,

As compassion,

As whatever we have with others.

That is one of the ways which I would personally feel that that would be the right way,

But who am I to say what's the right way?

Any other experience,

Anything else?

Anybody at the back?

First time here?

Guys,

Come on,

It's.

.

.

Yes,

For the first timers.

.

.

Yes,

Actually for me it's like,

You know,

I'm just doing it for myself at home,

But I'm lying down,

So it feels quite difficult because my back is hurting,

So I'm getting too good into myself,

So I need to find some kind of posture,

How can I sit for the next time?

OK.

Alright,

Thanks.

If there are no more questions,

I would like to close the session by thanking all of you for being here,

Being so patient and going through even pain to understand what meditation is,

To maybe taste some silence from here and bring it into your life.

I will see you next time,

Next Monday.

Thanks a lot.