Hello friends and welcome back!
My name is Diana Marceva.
I am a Mind-Body Connection coach,
A psychosomatic specialist and a meditation teacher.
And I'm recording this video right after I have finished my online group Mind-Body Connection session.
So I just got inspired with all of the accumulated thoughts and emotions,
Realizations and insights that we got through the online work and here I am.
Today I just want to dive deep and very shortly into the aspect of suffering.
It is quite a Buddhist topic and I will not be covering the Buddhist tradition and learnings and teachings,
But something that I have cultivated from my own experience and my own realizations and understanding.
I am a person who wants to get everything right now.
I hate waiting and all of my life I have been and I'm still learning how to be more patient,
How to give time to something to unfold in my life,
To come to me or how to give time and space to somebody else when I still want to get it right now.
And of course when discovering,
When looking for what exactly makes me so impatient,
What makes me suffer at the moment when I know that I will have it but I still don't have it now,
This time of waiting becomes unbearable to me sometimes and I have been looking for that one little moment,
The peace,
This pain that didn't let me go,
Didn't let me be free and here what I came to.
The most important in the whole situation like this to me is that I am afraid to let go.
To let go of what?
To let go of this feeling of wanting it happen,
Of wanting it in my life.
And it might be ridiculous like why am I afraid of stopping wanting it?
Kind of ridiculous for the logic,
No?
And the thing is that deep inside,
At least as well as I know myself,
I know that I am constantly changing and that in half a year,
In a year,
Well in a few months I will not be the same as I am today and this is what creates a lot of anxiety inside.
Not the question that I might never have it because I believe and I am certain that we get what we truly want and I know that I will get what I truly want but I might not want it anymore.
And this realization really blew my mind.
I was walking,
I was sleeping,
I was living with this realization for a few days and I was like oh my god that is ridiculous but it is true at least to myself and what do I do with it?
I am afraid that later I will not want this thing and it means it will not be in my life anymore and it will not matter because I will not want that,
Right?
But as I want it now,
As me present in this moment,
In this body,
I want to have it in my life and I do not have it now yet because everything needs time to come.
This probably fear of change,
This is what creates most of the anxiety at least to me and perhaps it is so for you too and this anxiety of course creates a lot of suffering in the present moment that I cannot enjoy my life right now because I don't have something right now and I'm afraid that I will never have that.
But what is suffering?
Suffering is pain multiplied by resistance.
I might experience pain in the present moment or in the future because I don't have something,
Because something doesn't go right or as I expected that.
Millions of reasons to experience pain and pain is inevitable.
It is a part of life,
The same part,
The same important as love,
As all of the joy and excitement.
Pain is just a part of life but resistance.
We create resistance to ourselves instead of letting go,
Instead of relaxing into the present moment,
Instead of accepting things as they are right now,
We create resistance and I create a lot of resistance myself expecting myself to be someone else,
Expecting myself to have something else right now and resistance towards change because I'm afraid if I will change,
I will not want that anymore,
It will not be a part of my life and so on.
This chain goes on and on and while pain is inevitable,
Suffering is something that we choose.
Suffering is not granted.
Suffering is what we create and it was hard for me to accept that I create suffering for myself myself because oh my god,
No,
It is that person or that situation who caused suffering but no,
It is just that person who acted that way and this is my reaction to their actions.
These are my emotions that I created in my body that were created by my past experiences,
By my expectations.
This is just a situation,
Probably uncomfortable but this is how you characterize it with your perception.
So suffering,
My friend,
Is a choice and it might seem very simple.
So do we just choose not to suffer?
Of course,
It takes a lot of effort,
A lot of dedication and a lot of self-change,
Self-growth and it will not change in a day,
Overnight.
It is a constant work and I'm working on it for already many,
Many years.
Of course,
I see a lot of,
Thankfully,
Thank god,
A lot of positive changes but I still suffer.
I'm still a human being.
I still have emotions,
Expectations,
Some baggage from the past but I accept it and whatever happens or not happen to me but I know that it is my choice how to react to it,
Whether I want this pain,
How to work with this pain and whether I want to suffer or not.
And as I say,
Pain is inevitable part of life.
I think suffering,
To some extent,
Is too because we cannot become free or so enlightened that there will be no suffering in our life because we are still attached to people,
To things,
To situations,
To our past selves and this attachment creates resentment to change,
To growth and it creates resistance,
A very important part of suffering.
So,
What I want to say today,
Guys,
To you,
Probably you don't have anxiety at this moment because you don't have something yet or because you expect something to happen but probably because you are afraid of change.
Deep breath in and out and just look how these words resonate inside of you,
In your body.
And the second moment that I want to conclude is just to leave a few days,
A few weeks with the thought that you create suffering yourself.
Perhaps you will find it so in your life and perhaps you would like to help yourself to allow yourself to have less suffering in life.
And if you need some guidance in that,
If you need support on your way,
I'm always here with you.
Contact me,
I will be very happy to connect and thank you,
Guys,
So much for watching this video.
I hope it gave you some sort of insight or probably a feeling that,
Oh,
Well,
Somebody understands me and I will be very happy to see you in my next video.
Thank you for your presence.
Thank you for being with me till the end of the video.
Thank you for sharing this space and experience and talk with me and I hope to connect with you too.
Bye.
