If You Doubt Your Greatness, Do You Have The Imposter Syndrome? | The Wisdom Podcast | Season 1 Episode 4

The experience of divine wisdom is your sacred right.

Divine wisdom is what guides you along a spiritual path.

It is this inner knowing that helps you to witness yourself as infinitely more abundant,

Loving,

Incredible.

It is your inner wisdom that guides you to live your highest potential and to experience all that you are even as you continue to expand and seek more.

In each episode of the Wisdom Podcast,

You will hear what insights,

Offerings,

And truth have helped others conquer their fears.

Be resilient,

Live empowered and happy.

You may hear your own story in some of the stories of my clients as they have healed themselves,

Become in control of their life,

And as they have reclaimed their authentic power.

Seeking a deeper understanding and meaning of life awakens us to discover our purpose and to witness the infinite beauty and joy that is so abundant.

All of us are on a sacred path.

When we awaken to this,

We easily access the guidance of our inner wisdom,

And we see the beauty of life unfolding in perfect ways to help us manifest all of what we want.

I hope that each episode of this podcast can offer something relevant and timely for you,

And that the sacred path that you are on is one that you choose deliberately based on the inspired wisdom of your inner truth as you live a beautiful and love-filled life.

Our beliefs about ourselves and our abilities are established very early in life.

The words and messages that we repeatedly hear in childhood become what we believe as truth.

This includes any or all of the less than kind ways in which we may have learned to think about ourselves.

Our caregivers have but one sacred opportunity to help us nurture and develop healthy self-esteem.

And this occurs during the earliest part of our life,

Fundamentally in the first five years as we are learning and taking in so much information,

Including what teachings are fostered and in our efforts to navigate successfully in our environment.

And within the social mores and customs of our culture and the world at large.

We need unconditional love and nurturing to develop trust in ourselves and our abilities and to thrive in the world.

Feeling secure and safe helps build our confidence to be self-reliant and successful and to know that we are lovable and good enough.

Self-critical thoughts may cause us to doubt our abilities,

To experience anxiety,

And to self-sabotage our inherent potential.

These thoughts and beliefs originate as the well-rehearsed messages from childhood that continue to haunt us and overtake our rational mind.

It takes so little to convince an innocent child that they are undeserving or not good enough.

Critical and berating words spoken by others become the repetitive and discouraging negative inner dialogue that causes self-doubt and a lack of belief,

Usually experienced as anxiety,

Fear,

And a lack of self-confidence.

If this happens,

We may grow up not fully believing in our potential and our ability to thrive and be successful in the world,

Even when there is much evidence to the contrary.

Our inner dialogue,

Even in the midst of many outward successes and accomplishments,

May continue to be,

I am not worthy of,

I'm not good enough,

I don't deserve.

And what if others will find out that I am not what they think I am?

There is a term that has been given to this phenomena,

Quite prevalent in many accomplished,

Talented and brilliant people,

People like you.

I see the scorecard of many who have grown up having their talents and abilities thwarted by repeated discouraging and damaging comments,

Who have been taught to question their ability,

Their beliefs and worth,

And to judge their success by standards of monetary worth,

Status,

And privilege,

While dismissing the values that characterize what truly defines a human being as incredible and successful.

This phenomenon is called the imposter syndrome.

First named by psychologists Suzanne Einz and Pauline Rose Klantz in the 1970s,

It is a concept describing the self-doubt of high achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud.

Those who report experiencing this syndrome are all successful,

Valuable individuals by both external measures valued by society,

As well as the qualitative values of kindness,

Honesty,

Generosity,

And trustworthiness that make someone a truly incredible being.

By definition,

Most people with imposter feelings suffer in silence.

Most people don't talk about it.

Part of the experience is that they're afraid they're going to be found out.

Something important to clarify and that you may wish to distinguish if you already identify with having some or many of the symptoms of imposter syndrome,

You may first wish to consider if your feelings of being an imposter are in part driven by your conscience,

Gnawing at you to make positive and needed changes,

To eliminate unhealthy and destructive habits,

And to be a better version of yourself.

Because the epitome of feeling like a fraud or an imposter can also be the inner knowing that you can do better,

That you are not living up to your own standards of what is acceptable and achievable.

I see this often in my work with clients,

And it is through self-honesty and the willingness to hold up a metaphorical mirror to oneself,

To decide and commit to the changes and the inner work that is needed that one no longer feels like an imposter.

On a spiritual level,

We feel like a fraud or imposter because we know that we are not living our life in a way that is congruent to our highest self and the most honorable way that we could be in the world.

It isn't entirely about believing in one's successes and ability,

But in stepping up and into one's truth,

That is,

Living as the highest and best version of yourself as much as possible,

That allows you to feel confident,

Worthy,

And to own your successes completely.

If you find this notion insightful and it is something that holds true for you,

Consider the moments in which you live authentic and of your highest self.

When you are living your truth,

When you are being your beautiful,

Loving,

Generous self,

Notice if in these moments you feel certain,

Confident,

And powerful,

And in which you own your abilities and successes in the world.

Your feelings of being an imposter may also be the precipice for seeking to live your truth and for igniting your spiritual path in the direction of your highest self.

In my work,

I am privy to the intimate details of a client's life,

Including their honest portrayal of how they were raised and the treatment they received.

I see the unfortunate and yet distinct outcome of clients who were reared with an overemphasis on high achievement,

Praise that was infrequent and largely conditional,

Based on unreasonably high standards which often include societal and cultural definitions of success.

I am also aware of client stories of emotional abuse,

Neglect,

And the absence of unconditional love together with unrealistic demands placed on them and learned fear of failure if one does not somehow measure up.

Many of these individuals hold impeccable ethics,

A mesmerizing level of professionalism,

And who remain deliberately careful to not become arrogant nor inflated in ego.

They present with a conscientious nature of kindness,

Generosity,

And caring of humanity,

Often acutely sensitive to others because of the suffering that they have endured.

Many of these individuals carry a fragile sense of self,

Of feeling and believing that they are not deserving of many of their successes.

Sometimes they grew up experiencing much confusion and mixed messaging because approval,

Acceptance,

And love was based on performance,

Achievement,

And a societal definition of success rather than the teachings of success based on one's individual standards and desires for being their best,

Supported with unconditional love and endless encouragement.

If you were taught that your efforts were not enough,

If praise was contingent on achieving or surpassing others,

If you experienced mixed messages from caregivers,

Demands placed upon you for achieving and doing more,

Together with criticism for not doing enough or doing good enough,

Then it is likely that you grew up doubting some or many of your abilities,

Questioning your competency and high level of achievement,

And not fully owning your successes.

You also may continue to criticize and devalue yourself even though who you are is more than enough.

These scars of childhood left unhealed become,

For so many people,

The outward and visible signs that one is suffering the enduring of what has been a consistent theme of messaging that you are not good enough or you will never be good enough.

This leads to a lifetime of questioning one's competency,

Of downplaying one's strengths and abilities,

And never fully allowing oneself to feel the pure joy that comes out of experiencing one's gifts and talents,

And of knowing that one is beyond good enough.

The compelling questions for so many people who identify with this phenomena is,

How do I fix this?

And how can I begin to believe that the good things that happen to me,

Including my successes and accomplishments,

Are because I am deserving,

Capable,

And worthy of success?

There are a myriad of circumstances which serve to cause us to doubt our ability,

To think and believe that we will at any moment be found out,

And to question our right to have success,

Whether because we believe that we are not good enough or that we are flawed in some way.

We also compare ourselves to others,

Which is another learned behavior,

Who we believe to be more capable and successful than we are,

Which only serves to reaffirm in our mind that we are somehow lacking,

Not good enough,

Or as a failure in some way.

There is much research to indicate that cognitive behavioral therapy can teach clients effective skills and strategies,

To help them successfully challenge their thoughts and beliefs,

And to find factual evidence that proves their worthiness and ability.

Many of the treatment approaches highlight the need for us to first be aware,

Mindful as we call it,

Of what we say to ourselves that cause us to question or doubt our potential,

And our belief in our worthiness and success.

Out of our awareness of our current thinking and beliefs,

We can use helpful strategies and techniques to instill confidence and reaffirm our competencies.

In therapy,

I help clients identify the incorrect core beliefs that they have been taught to believe from a much earlier age.

This is a powerful means of eradicating the underlying and often indiscernible root cause of self-doubt and the belief that one is a fraud or imposter.

This process is intimate and personal since each individual has their own set of both positive and problematic core beliefs.

Identifying your problematic core beliefs is the first step in changing these and for forming what are called new and accurate beliefs.

The four most common problematic core beliefs are I'm not good enough,

I'm unlovable,

I'm stupid,

And I'm undeserving.

You may be able to reflect on any of your critical self-talk to reveal what core beliefs may have been holding you back and limiting your potential.

I then help clients to challenge and rewrite their problematic core beliefs with new statements that they know to be true.

For some,

This is relatively easy since when they discover the core belief that underlies their daily thought patterns,

They realize instantly how incorrect it is.

For others who believe their damaging core belief to be true,

It is because they have lived it for some time and have found whether real or imagined what they believe is proof for their damaging core belief.

In either instance,

There is a process for challenging problematic and untrue core beliefs that works extremely well in helping to eradicate an individual's untrue belief and thus changing their perspective and their thoughts of themselves forever.

It is this.

First,

Look for the factual truth in what you tell yourself so that you may correct and rewrite any negative and biased thoughts and beliefs.

It's often this shift in your thought paradigm that helps you to acknowledge what is true rather than what you have been taught to believe.

The second step is to look for evidence of this true statement that you have chosen to replace your old core belief.

As you continue the process of looking for and finding factual proof to support your new belief,

It reaffirms this truth in your mind and allows you to have evidence for what is accurate rather than what you were previously telling yourself and believing.

This requires some effort on your part as it can be a challenge to see things from a different perspective since we are often lodged in our beliefs only because we have spent much of our lifetime looking for and finding what we believe is proof of our self-critical thinking.

And third,

Try this collection of evidence for as long as possible.

I would recommend several months on a daily basis as you are changing old beliefs that have been well established and rehearsed for likely years.

And if you would like my help with the practice of this,

Please reach out to me.

It's often helpful to have guidance and input as you formulate new beliefs and as you weaken existing thoughts and beliefs with consistent evidence over time.

I also want to share with you five practical strategies for overcoming the feeling of being an imposter that you can easily implement into your life.

These are also helpful life skills that are important to know and have.

In addition,

The guided meditation that accompanies this podcast has been designed to help you retrain the way you think and it's definitely worth a habit of practicing daily for a time.

This meditation will teach you how to focus on your value and worth and to restate your belief in yourself whenever you experience events which cause you to think about or dwell on your untrue core beliefs.

It's a game changer for helping you regain your confidence and disprove the old beliefs that have never served you.

Even as you begin to notice relief from feeling the symptoms of the imposter syndrome,

My recommendation is that you continue using these strategies,

The meditation and the practice of challenging and rewriting your core beliefs.

This will help ensure that you have aligned your thoughts and beliefs with what is true and not with what you have been taught to believe and that these changes in how you think and what you believe will be permanent and lasting.

So here are the five best strategies for overcoming the feeling of being an imposter.

Each of these strategies are straightforward and helpful on their own,

However,

Using all five will give you the best results.

The first,

Build a list of your personal accomplishments.

Add to this list each week.

These may include successes and triumphs that you have worked hard for for a lengthy time as well as personal daily achievements.

We tend to create to-do lists that keep us busy without acknowledging our successes when we accomplish a task or goal.

Everything here is too small or insignificant,

Especially since your achievements,

Whether completing a college degree or completing the first course towards that degree,

Is something that is important and meaningful for you.

Maintaining a dedicated list of accomplishments helps you to realize what you are already successful at and to have concrete examples and proof of this.

Second,

Refrain from comparisons.

You are no longer going to compare yourself to others,

Only to yourself.

It's great to congratulate someone on their own success,

But it's not helpful to look at others in comparison to your own life if you're going to be self-critical and defeating.

The successes of others can be motivating and helpful in showing us what is possible.

Seeing yourself as less than causes disappointment and thwarts your willingness to continue towards your goals.

Compare yourself to no one,

And you won't disrupt your positive momentum.

Walk your own path.

Be happy for others because they light the path for you.

Remember that your path is unique and sacred.

All that you need to be responsible for is ensuring that your path is right for you.

Live to live as the best version of yourself each day.

Third,

Positive and kind self-talk.

This also means consciously eradicating negative critical self-talk.

To do this,

You must first be consciously aware,

Mindful,

That you are being unkind and critical of yourself.

So many of us become accustomed to the damaging and self-loathing statements that we repeatedly say,

Internalizing these and accepting them as truth.

And remember,

Because no one can hear the thoughts you think inside your mind,

It is always going to be up to you to challenge and change these for yourself.

Because our self-effacing words fall under our radar,

We keep up the unhealthy practice of diminishing our abilities even as we are successful.

Unfortunately,

The effects of our unkind self-talk manifests in feelings of unworthiness,

Disappointment,

Depression and a lack of motivation.

Practice positive self-talk as a new habit that you use often.

This new habit of kind and reassuring words is meant to override the old habit of self-criticism and self-doubt.

Even if you are not completely comfortable with the positive words that you are speaking just yet,

The practice of telling yourself that you are successful,

That you are more than capable,

That you are loved by many,

And that you add to the lives of others are new ways of seeing and being in the world that allow you to grow your beliefs by rehearsing these statements both aloud and in silence.

Your positive statements can become the mantras that you repeat often.

Your positive self-talk is to be used in place of your previous critical words.

The moment you recognize that you are doubting or disavowing your abilities and potential.

Fourth,

Goal setting and achieving.

This strategy is helpful to illustrate how your successes in life are the outcome of making good choices based on knowing yourself best and of choosing what is most important to you.

When you set and accomplish goals that are chosen exclusively by you,

You build self-worth,

Autonomy,

And confidence.

It's also important to revel in the satisfaction of what you have completed in order to own and internalize your abilities.

There is always going to be more that we will want to experience in life and to strive for.

As you set a goal and see it through,

Not only will you benefit from the experience of attaining this,

But you will grow your confidence and the certainty you have in yourself for other goals and life experiences that you wish to have.

And fifth,

Visualize your greatness.

One of the most powerful tools for overcoming the imposter syndrome is visualization.

Use the power of your mind to visualize what you want for visualizing yourself as a success in the ways that you define success to be,

Including the confidence you wish to exude,

And allow yourself to feel and see what you visualize as if it is already here in the present.

Seeing yourself as your ideal will inspire you.

Visualizing your ideal self will increase your confidence and help you value yourself for the qualities,

Skills,

And abilities that you possess and are proud of.

When you consistently visualize how you ideally want to be,

Seeing your future ideal in your mind,

Bringing this ideal to life in the present,

It will help you become a better version of yourself now.

As you use these five practices,

Begin to notice a change in how you feel about yourself and in how you experience your value and worth in the world.

You will likely witness brief moments at first and then longer periods of authentic happiness,

Pleasure,

And pride in your accomplishments.

Life is something that requires your love and attention.

The way you feel about yourself and the belief in your ability to thrive in the world must be built by you.

These five practices are designed to help you overcome your self-critical and imposter feelings,

To own your abilities with confidence,

And to help you realize that you already have much existing proof that confirms you are more than good enough,

Worthy,

And deserving of your success.

As you begin the journey back to wholeness and to knowing your full potential,

Your greatness,

You will feel confident as you rewrite the old scripts that you were taught to believe and to allow the positive words that you tell yourself and the proof that you now have to reinforce how you feel and what you believe.

This is how you find your path home,

To remember all that you are and all that you are capable of.

While there seems to be limited research to validate the correlation between the experience of the imposter syndrome and how we are treated and what we are taught to believe beginning in childhood,

I believe that there is a strong relationship between the experience of imposter syndrome and the critical and self-effacing beliefs that we establish from a young age.

If you've suffered in silence,

Unable to feel instinctively proud of what you have accomplished,

And if you instead devalue your worth and abilities and question your competency,

It will be a relief to know that these early life teachings are pliable,

That whatever has caused you to question or devalue your worth and success can be changed to reflect what is true and to reinforce that you are capable and competent and that your successes are indeed deserving of your feelings of pride and the knowledge that you are more than good enough.

If you would like any assistance in rewriting any of the problematic core beliefs that you have identified in yourself,

Please reach out and let me help.

Be sure to check out the online downloadable quiz that will help discern for you if the feelings and experiences you have are indeed that of the imposter syndrome.

And then use the guided strategies,

The meditation,

And the practice of rewriting your core beliefs as important ways to overcome the feelings of being an imposter.

I look forward to hearing from you what was most helpful in helping you to rewrite the beliefs of your past and to owning your feelings of confidence and self-worth.

It's incredibly important for you to overcome your feelings of being less than,

Unworthy,

Unlovable and undeserving because these beliefs and the thoughts that lie beneath them will continue to impact your day-to-day life.

And I'm right here if you would like my help.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for joining me in this episode of the Wisdom Podcast.

To hear more,

Please check out the other episodes here.

And then join me at DorothyRetusne.

Com where you can share your questions and feedback from this or any episode with me.

And where you'll also find the Wisdom Blog,

The inspiration for this podcast,

The latest online courses that I teach,

My YouTube videos,

An extensive library of free guided meditations for you to experience and enjoy,

Plus other special offerings of love.

Please also visit me on social media and say hello.

Allow yourself to go within,

To access your inner wisdom and to live this.

Awaken your authentic power,

Live your truth and be loved.

This is Dorothy.

Namaste.