In this episode of Ask Dorothy,
I share with you wisdom from my 12-year-old client,
Jessica.
Age can never determine wisdom.
Wisdom lives in each one of us.
And when we remain open to its messages and dynamic momentum,
We are given precisely what we need to assist us in our journey of opportunity,
Of strength,
Of determination,
And of joy and love and happiness.
Jessica's mother was in the session with us.
She had sought my help,
For Jessica was struggling.
Struggling with worries and fears that became heightened in situations when she was in large group settings,
Which included and often referenced daily school life.
The incident that precipitated her mother's phone message to me was a recent panic attack that took hold of Jessica,
And to which she felt incapable and powerless.
In her words,
I have meltdowns and there's nothing I can do to stop them.
Of course,
To have a lack of control in any part of life can be overwhelming.
Imagine being 12 and feeling scared and embarrassed and vulnerable when you believe that there is nothing you can do to help yourself.
One of the cognitive behavioral tools that I used with Jessica was to help her understand how thoughts and feelings are interdependent.
We began with an explanation of what thoughts are,
How they influence and determine our feelings,
And how if we wanted to feel a certain way,
It would begin with the thoughts we hold.
Often this means choosing thoughts that will then influence and regulate how we feel.
I also knew it would be important to help Jessica garner belief in the efficacy of these principles by using some real examples from her life.
And as I walked her through the methodology for how thoughts are both created and how they become the causal factors in how we feel,
The principles of CBT both instruct and empower us to live awake and aware of our thinking,
To become better at directing the mind to hold positive thoughts,
And to be sure that we are regularly attentive to how we perceive a situation and ourselves.
I explained to Jessica that we must choose how we think and feel if we want to be free of the human conditions that we suffer.
Anxiety and fear,
Sadness and grief,
And so much more.
I needed Jessica to understand and also witness for herself the power of choosing thoughts that would conjure the feelings that she truly wanted to feel.
This would also give back her power.
I explained how thoughts are the ever-present,
At times all-consuming,
Constant flow of what we tell ourselves and believe.
They can best be identified in the form of a sentence.
Feelings are one-word descriptors.
Feelings become the state of being that we live in,
Moment by moment.
When I asked Jessica how she wanted to feel in place of the feelings she identified during her meltdown,
She said,
Happy and free.
Definitely two of the most beautiful and smart states of being that we all might choose.
I asked Jessica to describe what happy and free each felt like in her body so that she would have an association for them.
An anchor point in which to identify when she was feeling each.
And because this is also important as a reminder to her to notice other situations and singular moments in her life in which she naturally felt happy and free.
And also what other thoughts would convey for her these feelings.
Next was the big experiment to ask Jessica which thoughts would best create for her the feelings of happy and free.
She contemplated for a few moments and then was able to deliver thoughts that could and did conjure up each feeling.
For the thousands of occasions in which I have observed this tool in action,
It remains amazing to me of how the simplicity of this directive teaching can have such a positive effect for each one of us.
How do you want to feel right now?
Go ahead.
Name it.
Decide.
Is it motivated?
Focused?
Peace-filled?
Is it happy?
Is it free?
Try it for yourself.
Name the thought or thoughts that will create the feelings you want to feel.
We are all busy in swirls of constant thinking.
Every moment,
Every millisecond in fact.
Yet how conscious are we to what we tell ourself?
You program your mind with every thought.
So why not choose the thoughts that are going to best empower you to feel at your best and to stir within the confidence and the contentment,
The joy that you want to feel.
Choosing thoughts deliberately is not to lie to yourself or avoid dealing with the important day-to-day experiences and responsibilities of life.
It is about writing the scripts for how you will show up in your life again and again and to direct more of life's moments that haven't yet happened to support and sustain you.
I also want to mention here that I have a huge library of cognitive behavioral therapy and other therapy content and the best therapy tools and practices for you to live by.
I will leave these in the description.
And a final note,
I also thought it was brilliant of this young mind to choose happy and free as her two desired feeling states.
And of course this alone was the inspiration to share this client story with you.
And I leave you with this question.
What if we all chose to live by the thoughts that would best convey the feelings of happy and free?
What would it feel like in your body to feel happiness,
To feel free?
Contemplate this now for a moment or two.
Now choose your thoughts.
Thank you so much for joining me in this episode.
This is Dorothy Sonari Juno.
Namaste.
Thank you so much for joining me in this episode of the Wisdom Podcast.
To hear more,
Please check out the other episodes here,
As well as my guided meditations,
Including my signature prose meditations and I Am Mantras,
And as well the meditations to guide you into a deep and restorative sleep.
Please also visit me on social media and say hello.
And a special thank you to Insight Timer for this beautiful space to share all of my love.
Allow yourself to go within,
To access your inner wisdom,
And to live this.
Awaken your authentic power,
Live your truth,
And be loved.
Namaste.
