Focus On What Works, Not What's Easy-LL&L LIVE-7-19-21

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter with your host,

Glenn Ambrose.

Hello everybody.

Welcome to Life,

Lessons,

And Laughter,

Live,

Coming at you live.

So let's see.

Say hi as you pop on please.

Let me know where you are.

That's always interesting.

And I'm going to hopefully hop on my accounts and set the settings so I can actually see your comments.

There.

So I'm thinking,

I'm thinking you guys can see me.

That's what I'm thinking.

Well,

I mean,

I know you guys can see me.

I'm thinking you guys,

I can see your posts.

That's what I'm thinking.

Hey,

There,

Sarah.

Hi,

Sarah.

Sarah,

Are you on my business on my personal page?

Because I'm going to my business page now to see if I can adjust settings there.

Public.

Okay.

That one's set as public.

All right.

I think I should be able to.

Oh,

Okay.

That's right,

Sarah.

You're on YouTube.

I can see that from your comment.

If I looked,

I checked,

I checked both pages on Facebook.

YouTube doesn't seem to give me a problem.

I checked both pages on Facebook and they seem like they're both saying that I can see comments from you guys.

So,

So we got Sarah,

Buddy's back.

What up?

Margie.

Margie's on.

So cool.

So,

Well,

You know,

Yeah,

People are hopping on fairly quickly,

Although I was a couple minutes late to be fair,

Because for some I actually started early kind of on accident.

And then like like two minutes before I was to go live,

All of a sudden the microphone and the camera cut out.

I'm like,

What the heck?

So that was kind of weird.

But I had to go out and come back in.

Now everything's working.

So I guess I'm good.

So,

So Sarah's in San Diego.

Cabo last week.

Well,

That sounds awesome and fun.

Cabo.

Cabo.

That's where,

What's his name has the bar or something,

Isn't it?

What's his name?

Sammy Hagar.

My brother in law's a fan.

So I was kind of look looking around for like Father's Day gifts for him.

And I was like looking at Sammy Hagar stuff and Cabo kept coming up.

All right.

So today,

Today I am discussing how to get stuff done.

So like a lot of times in life,

What we do,

I see this.

Okay.

I got it before I start.

I got to say this.

Sarah,

Sammy Hagar.

Yes,

They went there.

Nice.

Cabo Wabo is the place.

Of course it is.

That's an awesome,

That's an awesome name.

People need to name their businesses more stuff like that.

Cabo Wabo.

You know,

Like just fun,

Man.

Fun stuff.

So,

So yeah,

This is,

I kind of saw a theme in some of the stuff that I teach and it often comes up that people that are stuck or not sure how to move on or aren't living their best life for one reason or another.

There's something that I see.

There's like this initial block that we have to get past a lot of times with people in those situations.

So,

And I mean,

Of course,

In our lives,

Even if we've been working on ourselves,

A lot of times the lessons are very simple.

So like if you're a person early on in the path of self-help or spirituality or you're not even on it at all,

This can help you because it's just practical.

But if you're already on your spiritual path,

No matter where you are along the way,

A lot of times it's the same stuff.

It just looks different.

It's very simple,

You know,

So a lot of the stuff is very,

It's the same,

But it just looks different.

So this,

I can see that the topic of today's discussion be able to help in multiple,

You know,

Kind of everyone,

Which is always a wonderful thing.

So I'm going to address that and I just want to say hello to Joanne before I do.

Thanks for joining,

Joanne.

So what I'm talking about is a lot of that block that I just mentioned that a lot of people have in their lives is they're looking at something that they want to do and it seems really hard.

So it could be,

And I mean,

This is a lot of things.

I mean,

If you have kids,

Welcome.

You know,

I mean,

You're going to look,

There's going to be a lot of things you need to do as a parent that are not easy.

They're difficult things to do.

And being consistent is one of them because sometimes you're just so tired,

You know,

And you just don't have the energy to be consistent with certain stuff.

Other ideas are other things where I see this a lot is changing jobs.

People want to change jobs,

But it just seems so hard.

Setting boundaries with other people.

You know,

You want to set boundaries,

But you don't like confrontation.

You're not sure if it's going to work or you're pretty sure it's not going to work.

You know,

All the different ways that looks like that starts to look like when you're thinking about setting boundaries with somebody.

You know,

And sometimes that's cutting somebody out of your life that's just sometimes having a difficult conversation.

It can take a lot of different looks.

And also with your spiritual growth,

A lot of times,

You know,

Where sometimes we get tired and we're like,

Oh,

The spiritual growth stuff is hard.

I don't have the fricking energy for it and all this stuff.

So this is,

It's all the same block.

It's all the same energy.

We're looking at something and we're going,

Oh,

That's too hard to do.

Or I'm too tired.

I don't have the energy.

It's just too hard.

That's what we're looking at.

And it keeps us stuck.

And we just don't do what we need to because it's just too hard.

You know,

Or like I said,

Oh,

I don't have the energy,

Whatever.

That's just another way of saying it's too hard.

It's all the same thing.

So I've noticed that,

You know,

That's a block that we have to get over in many areas of life.

And it's like most things,

It's a perspective shift or maybe everything.

It's a perspective shift.

You're looking at the wrong things.

You're looking at it going,

Oh,

That's too hard.

So,

You know,

The reason it works is because the ego generalizes the other side.

You know,

So the ego is in control.

It wants to stay in control.

So the way,

You know,

You're looking at it and you go,

Oh,

That's really hard.

That's really hard.

Then you look at the other when you go,

Well,

What would it be like if I,

You know,

If I did do that?

And it's like,

Oh,

That's too,

Oh,

If I went in that direction,

It's just so hard on so many levels.

And it'll throw like two or three excuses at you,

Just enough to reinforce what you're already looking to see that it's too hard.

And then,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

See,

It's too hard.

And you go,

Oh,

Well,

What about staying as you are right now?

And they don't,

Like,

That's the side that we don't often look at.

We don't,

We just do that.

We're so,

Like,

When there's a problem,

That's all we look at.

So there's a problem.

Oh,

It's too hard.

I don't have the energy.

Oh,

It's going to be this big.

Oh,

Blah,

Blah.

And then when we get there,

We stay there.

It's like,

Well,

What about,

What about the other option?

Like,

The other option is actually,

You know,

It's too hard.

Okay,

It's too hard.

Well,

What if we,

What if we slowed down and really took a good look at what it looked like or what it's going to look like if we don't take any action?

Because it's really hard,

Right?

This is what your ego is telling you.

It's really hard if I take action.

And it's too,

Oh,

It's too much.

Okay,

So there's either take action,

And we just discussed what that looks like,

And then the other option is to don't take action.

But we don't explore that very often.

And this is why we stay stuck is because if you really explored what it looks like if you don't take action,

All of a sudden taking action starts looking better.

Because not taking action sucks.

Fact.

That's the whole reason you're tired in the first place.

That's the whole reason you don't have energy to take the action is because of your present situation and how you're living.

That's why you're depleted.

That's why you're unhappy.

That's why you're even contemplating looking at other ways of doing things is because this way sucks.

But we don't slow down enough to realize that,

Like,

What we're doing,

You know,

There's,

Oh,

Maybe Buddy can help me with this,

Or maybe some of you other people around my age,

Like,

What's that Rush song where they talk about not making a choice is still choosing.

They have some line in one of their songs about that.

If you just don't do anything,

If you don't take the action,

That's a choice.

You're actually going to have consequences from that because we have choices from every consequence.

I mean,

We have consequences from every choice.

Strike that.

Reverse it.

Thank you.

And there's my Willy Wonka little piece.

So there's going to be consequences.

So look at the consequences.

What are the consequences if you don't take the action?

You know,

And look at it long term,

Five years from now,

Where are you going to be?

Well,

Let's look at some of the examples I gave.

Raising kids,

Changing jobs,

Setting boundaries with people,

Your own spiritual growth.

Well,

If it's with raising kids and you don't do what you need to do.

Like,

Let's just say I'll leave it general for now.

We're just being consistent with some type of behavior.

Like,

I don't know if they disrespect you,

Correcting them and not allowing them to disrespect you.

Let's take that for an example.

If you don't take the hard action and find the energy to be consistent,

What's your life going to look like five years from now?

You're going to have extremely disrespectful children.

And your non-action is going to have trained them to actually be that way.

So basically,

By not being consistent because you said you're feeling like it's too hard,

What you're doing is you're actually training them to be disrespectful to you because they're going to get what they want and they're not going to be corrected and they're going to be allowed to be disrespectful.

So five years from now,

They're going to be more disrespectful and your life is going to suck more and it's going to be a bigger hurdle to go over to try to correct that.

So that's where that ends up.

Changing jobs,

You end up at the same job that you if you hate it now,

In five years from now,

You're not going to hate it less,

I guarantee you.

I mean,

Unless you change your perspectives and there's actually nothing wrong with the job,

But that's not what we're talking about.

Setting boundaries.

How is your life going to look five years from now if you don't set the boundaries that you already know that you need to set now?

You got five more years of being treated like crap.

That ain't good.

Spiritual growth.

How is your spiritual growth going to continue?

Where are you going to be five years from now if you don't do what it takes?

And remember,

Nothing stays the same.

Movement is inherent in the universe.

The universe is constantly expanding.

The earth is spinning.

There's constant movement all the time.

So you can't just stay.

So not doing anything about a problem doesn't leave you in the same position.

It gets inherently worse over time.

You get more frustrated.

The problem gets,

The poor behavior gets worse.

It doesn't get better.

It gets worse.

So five years from now,

Whatever's bothering you,

It's going to be bothering you more.

So that starts putting it into perspective.

I don't know that that's the exact thing.

I mean,

I'm going to teach something else here in a minute,

But I don't know that that's quite enough to get you to navigate through this.

And thank you,

Buddy.

You think it's free will.

Yeah,

It is by Rush.

Yeah,

It might be free will.

Yeah,

That sounds right.

You may have nailed it.

Thank you.

That's that song that I was alluding to.

So,

So once you start putting it into perspective and you stop looking at your problem.

Like in and out right now.

Oh,

It's hard.

It's hard.

It's hard.

Oh,

And as long as we stay there,

We're stuck.

It's just very hard.

I don't have the energy and it's hard.

But now also you start expanding your peripheral and you start looking at other things.

You go,

OK.

Yeah,

I get it.

It's hard.

I understand that it's hard.

Now,

What?

So I either do something that's hard or I don't do something that's hard.

Those are the two options as I see it where I'm sitting right now.

So it's hard.

So I'm leaning towards not doing it.

So what consequences come from that?

Oh,

Well,

My life gets worse.

Consistently.

Probably profoundly.

So,

So my life gets worse.

So that's when you start.

Now also you're getting a little bit of distance from your problem just by adding one piece and you're like,

Oh,

OK,

This puzzle is bigger.

So like I don't because we have such short term vision when we're when we're only looking at the problem.

We're just concerned about that particular moment.

No,

Let me just not do something right now.

Oh,

OK.

And we pretend that there's no consequences to that.

And there is,

There's a consequence to everything.

So and it's natural.

It's not punishment.

It's just a natural consequence.

You know,

If I don't eat,

I starve and die.

That's a natural consequence.

It's just going to happen.

It's not a punishment.

Right.

So it's natural consequence.

If you don't do anything to better your life,

Your life doesn't get better.

That's that's not a punishment.

That's just a natural consequence.

So if you think you don't like the situation you're in now and you think that you don't have the energy to correct it.

Slow down a minute and take another look,

Because you think it's you think it takes a lot of energy now?

Five years,

It's going to take 10 times more energy because the 10 problems going to be reinforced over and over for five more years.

So it's going to be that much larger.

It's going to be that much of a bigger problem.

There's going to be that much more resentment towards it.

It expands.

So,

You know,

How how do we shift our perspectives into a way that hopefully we can start chipping away at this stuff and taking like what's going to give us the fortitude to take a different step to do something different,

Even though it's hard?

Well,

If we start paying attention,

You know,

Like,

Is it hard sometimes?

Yeah,

It's hard.

So like,

Like as soon as we see,

You know,

I mean,

Not in every area of our lives.

I'm sure everybody has done things that are hard,

Which is going to help me prove my point.

But when we're stuck,

That's all we see.

How hard it is.

Oh,

This is hard.

Yeah,

But you don't understand.

I love that you don't understand,

Glenn.

Like,

Have you had any inkling of my life?

I don't understand difficulty.

Come on.

I think I think just about everybody on the planet understands difficulty,

Let alone me.

I understand difficulty very well.

So it's it's hard.

And that's all we see.

But when you start stepping away from that,

You go,

Yeah,

But like what works?

What?

You know?

Yeah,

Some stuff's hard and some stuff's easy.

We've all done hard things before.

It was hard,

But we did it anyway.

So this won't wouldn't be the first time you're doing something hard.

So you do something possibly hard.

Okay.

You know,

So you can do something hard.

So what happens if you do the thing that's hard?

Like,

What does your life look like?

We know that right now you're depleted.

What what you're talking about doing is difficult.

And but if you don't do anything five years from now,

It's going to be even worse.

So,

Oh,

Okay,

Well,

Wait a minute,

Maybe doing something,

Even though it's hard.

Maybe I should explore that because five years looks like a frickin nightmare.

Okay,

Let's explore that.

So so now now you start getting into spiritual law.

The reason that you start getting into spiritual law is because you're starting to get into what actually works.

And that's what you pay attention to.

Instead of paying attention to what's hard,

Pay attention to what works.

Okay,

So when you're looking at your life and you go,

Okay,

Where would I like to be in this situation?

A year from now,

Five years from now,

Six months from now,

Whatever.

Where would I where would I like to be in this situation?

Because you're designing your life.

You are.

Nobody else is.

The universe isn't.

God isn't.

That's your job.

Your job is to guide and direct your life into what brings you joy,

Love,

Peace,

Happiness.

It's the direct it.

God is the power.

The universe is the power that comes through you that actually manifests stuff into reality.

But you got to tell it where to go.

You're designing your life.

You're responsible for your life.

So what works?

What would give you a life that you'd like?

So if we go into the raising kids thing,

Like if your kids being disrespectful and you think it's difficult to,

You know,

When you're tired after work to hold them accountable anyway.

Well,

Look what you don't like being disrespected.

So what works and what doesn't work?

Well,

Doing nothing.

It's pretty obvious that ain't going to work well.

If somebody is treating you poorly and you don't correct it,

You think they're going to suddenly start treating you nice?

No,

It's not going to happen.

So it needs to be corrected.

So if you can use a little long term thinking,

This is a gift that adults develop.

We actually have the ability to have long term thinking.

Children are so in the moment that they don't do that that well.

Just instant gratification a lot of times.

So we have the ability to look down the road a little bit and go,

OK,

Well,

What works?

What what would give me the life that I want?

Do I want my kids to be disrespectful?

No.

Does allowing them to be disrespectful help me?

No.

Does correcting them get me what I want?

Yes,

Because if I correct them consistently over and over,

Even if I'm tired,

What's going to happen is they're going to find that there's a boundary there.

Eventually,

They're going to stop disrespecting me because every time they do,

Their life gets worse.

They don't like the way things go.

So they keep hitting a wall.

It's not allowed.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

People only do what works.

Kids disrespect adults because they can.

If it's not allowed,

They stop.

It's very easy.

Everybody does that.

You know,

It's disrespect.

It's,

You know,

All kinds of adverse behaviors.

The people always do what works.

They are getting what they want out of it.

That's why they are doing it.

If they stop getting what they want,

They stop doing it.

So this is what we need to do.

We need to set a consistent boundary until they run into that wall.

Sometimes,

You know,

Especially with kids,

They will test you sometime and other people too sometimes.

But it could be three times.

It could be six times.

It could be 50 times.

It could be 150 times with kids.

But eventually,

They're going to hit that wall enough times where they're not going to get what they want.

Oh,

Okay.

So now I'm not going to do that anymore because it doesn't work for me.

That's how behavior changes.

It doesn't work for them.

So why would they continue doing it?

Okay,

So you can see what works and what doesn't work.

You know,

One of my,

I mean,

I've got several,

But one of my favorite stories of my son growing up was,

You know,

We're standing in line at a store one day.

And his friend was with us and they were behind me.

And his friend's like,

Hey,

Can we get a candy bar or,

You know,

Something?

I forgot what he asked for.

Something in the line.

You know,

A grocery car,

A matchbox.

What did I say?

A grocery car?

A candy bar,

A matchbox car.

It's something that kids want that they put right there at their eye level so they can ask the adult for when they're standing in line.

So the kid's like,

Hey,

Can we get a candy bar?

And I always try to think first and give an answer.

Sometimes it was yes,

Sometimes it was no.

But once I made that decision,

It was final.

So I paused for a moment and I was like,

No,

Not today.

You know,

Maybe it was close to dinner or something.

I said,

No,

Not today.

And the kid's like,

Oh,

Please.

And Mateo looked at his friend and he goes,

Don't even bother.

And his friend was like,

Don't bother what?

Like,

What do you mean?

And he goes,

Don't bother asking him again.

Once he says no,

It's a no.

It's just don't waste your breath.

And I was listening to this.

I'm like,

Sweet.

You know,

He knew and he was young and he had already figured that out.

Why?

Because I explained it to him.

And I was consistent and it wasn't easy.

And I was tired certain days and I was like,

Oh,

Just give him what he wants or he shuts up and I can rest.

I'm so exhausted.

As a parent,

You get like that sometimes.

It's just it's it's the truth.

You love your children,

But sometimes you're frickin tired,

Man.

And it's hard.

But I was consistent anyway.

Why?

Because I looked at the long term vision and I was like,

Do I want my child pestering me for candy every time I'm in a store with him for the next 15 years?

No.

OK.

Then what works?

Consistent boundaries.

That's what works.

That's what I'm going to do,

Even if it's not easy.

Why?

Because it might not be easy now.

But like,

Look at all the years that I had that were easier because of that.

So I took six months,

A year,

Whatever,

To teach him this,

To reinforce it consistently every time,

To explain to him what I was doing.

I put it into work.

And what did that do?

It made the next 10 years easier because I didn't have to deal with that.

And I did that with as many things as I could being a parent.

And you can do that with you know,

This is what I mean.

You're creating the life that you want.

So when you're thinking about setting a boundary with somebody,

Don't look at it too close.

We have to get distance to really gain perspective in what we're doing,

Why we're doing it,

And how we're living our life.

So,

You know,

Don't sit there,

Oh,

This person at work talks down to me and they completely disrespect me in front of everybody and I hate it.

And this is ridiculous.

And,

You know,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And you get all this.

And you're like,

But,

You know,

I don't want to talk to them about it because then it's going to be a big scene.

It's going to be a big pain in the ass.

And I don't know how it's going to go and blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And you talk yourself right out of it and then you stay.

And then your life is,

Your life sucks in that scenario for the next two years,

Five years,

10 years,

20 years.

Why?

Because you didn't do anything about it.

So you just do what works,

Man.

Create your life.

Do what works.

Give yourself a little long-term vision and say,

You know what,

This is going to be uncomfortable.

Yeah,

So is the dentist,

But you go.

Why?

Because it's worth it.

You know,

That's why.

Because you have teeth to chew food with 10 years later.

You know,

It's long-term vision.

Use the same thing for your life.

What life are you creating?

Your non-action is doing way more to keep you stuck than you realize.

You know,

And I'm seeing these,

These comments.

Yeah,

Nicole,

It works.

I tell my kids up front,

Don't even ask.

And they don't.

Right.

As long as you're consistent with it,

You know.

Joanne makes sense to me.

Yeah.

And you can put your own spin on it.

You know,

Like,

Like Nicole says,

I tell my kids up front,

Don't even ask.

Like what I did with,

See,

My father was very strict with this type of stuff.

He was always trying to teach me about money and all this stuff.

So he was very strict and the answer was always no.

So yeah,

Eventually I,

I,

I learned not to ask,

I believe,

Because the only,

The question,

The answer was always no.

And of course,

You know,

You want to do things,

Some things different than your parents.

A lot of times,

A lot of things you want just because you were the kid in that situation.

Now you're the parent.

So you want to do things your way.

So I didn't want,

I wanted to be a little bit more fluid with it.

I wanted to be,

I didn't want the answer to always be no.

It just seems so strict and not fun.

And I just wanted to be more fun and more relaxed,

You know.

So what I did is my version of it,

And it doesn't have to be your version.

You do what works for you.

But my version of it is I said,

You know,

Sometimes it's yes,

Sometimes it's no.

But after I give my answer,

I cannot go back on my answer.

It's because it's not about the candy bar anymore.

Now it's about me keeping my word and it's about exactly what I'm teaching to you guys right now.

This is what I told my son.

I said,

The reason that I will,

If I say no,

I will never,

Ever change my no to a yes is,

There's one reason for that.

And that is because if I do change my no to a yes,

Even once you will get the idea stuck in your brain that if you ask me enough times,

I might change my answer from a no to a yes.

And as soon as you think that that's a possibility,

You are going to be bugging me for candy bars until the day you die.

And I don't want to live like that.

I told him exactly what I was doing and why I was doing it.

So once my,

I'm going to think about it,

I'm going to give you my answer.

And then if it's a yes,

It's a yes.

If it's a no,

It's a no.

And I will not change my answer ever because then it's training you to bug the crap out of me.

What I'm doing is I'm teaching you to bug me and I will not teach you to bug me.

I will teach you to not bug me.

So,

So,

And he was like,

Yeah,

Okay.

And he knew I was right.

I mean,

He was little man when I was teaching him this.

And he's like,

Yeah,

I do do that.

If I think I can change your mind,

I will continue coming at you.

Yeah.

You know,

He used to tell me that stuff.

He's like,

Yeah.

Yeah,

We're very honest with each other,

Which was great.

So,

You know,

That's that's what the child rearing,

But setting boundaries is such a big thing.

And it's like,

You know,

You do this at work,

You know,

What set the boundary now have the difficult conversation now.

Like what is something going to happen magically in your life where you don't have to have difficult conversations with people?

Like you're going to be the one person on the planet that doesn't have to set boundaries.

You're the only one that God created that doesn't have to teach other people how to treat you.

No,

No.

Like so that you might as well learn how to do this now.

If you learn how to do it now,

You're going to get better at it and it's going to be easier.

You know,

Bite the look at the long term goals.

What do you know what is going to make your life easier?

Because if you if you look at why your life is so exhausting now,

It's because you haven't done this stuff previously.

If you lived your life setting boundaries with people and creating a situation that works for you,

Then you wouldn't be so exhausted.

You're exhausted because you're in situations that don't work for you and they are draining your energy.

So there's only one doorway out and you need to do things differently.

You can't continue doing not doing what you need to do and expect a different result.

You need to do something differently.

And that is hard.

It's hard sometimes.

So.

Living life,

Having a kid go,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

Please,

For the next five years isn't hard.

Oh,

My God.

That literally sounds like hell to me.

That's why I did.

That's why I was consistent even when I was tired.

And that's why I did stuff like this.

Is because I could not envision myself being a parent with a kid doing that to them year after year after year.

I was just like,

Oh,

Hell no.

So I use the long term vision to really,

You know,

Get get the motivation to do what you need to do now and just do it,

Man.

Just fix it.

And it might take one conversation.

It might take three months or six months or a year,

Whatever,

Man.

Do it.

It's worth it.

At least at the end of that year,

You have a life worth living that you enjoy in a way that you wouldn't enjoy it.

What if you don't do it?

It's even worse than it is today.

So it's you know,

This is this is like when I was really deep into sobriety,

I really have,

You know,

Man,

I've had my ups and downs and sobriety in the last almost 18 years now.

But as a general rule,

I have enjoyed very contented sobriety.

I've been very peaceful most of the time.

I've never craved a drink.

So,

I mean,

That's,

You know,

I mean,

That's how I understand recovery is it's recovering.

You you you transcended a hopeless state of mind and body.

You are no longer in that hopeless.

So,

You know,

People who are struggling on a day to day basis,

Five years,

10 years,

20 years trying to stay sober.

I don't get it.

That's not recovery.

You're you're doing something wrong.

Some that's that's struggling in my mind.

So,

You know,

It and it even says that in a recovery books like it says if you're struggling to avoid a drink,

There's something wrong with your sobriety.

So this isn't just me saying it.

It's the founders of AA,

Which created all 12 steps.

So the the and now I kind of lost what I was talking about.

It's the long term.

We need to transcend this stuff.

We need to transcend where we are and get to where we're going.

We need to create that life.

If not,

We're just sitting here struggling,

Struggling,

Struggling.

You know,

We in my eyes,

You kind of don't have an option.

Oh,

I know what I was going to say.

It was it's the amount of the energy.

That we use.

So people used to ask me,

They're like,

Boy,

You really seem to have contented sobriety.

How do you do it?

You know,

And when people ask me questions,

I would try to come up with an honest answer.

And I used to tell them I monitor my thoughts and my feelings and when they're off,

I do whatever it takes to get them back on.

No matter how much energy it takes,

Because sometimes you're just off.

They in recovery,

They call it being on the beam or off the beam.

So when you're on the beam,

Everything's good.

You're feeling connected to God.

You know,

Boom.

And sometimes you fall off the beam.

You've got to get back on.

Well,

What I used to do is as soon as I realized I was off the beam,

I did whatever it took to get back on.

Like that became my hobby.

Every spare moment of every day until I got back on the beam,

My focus was getting back on the beam.

And I,

The reason I did it that way was because it was because I realized very early on,

There was a couple of times where I didn't do that early on.

And what I noticed is like the beam,

Like let's say the beam's going straight,

Right?

And when you fall off the beam,

You're just to the side of it.

Well,

The longer you stay off the beam,

The further you wander away,

The bigger the distance you are to the beam.

So then you've got to walk all the way back to the beam,

Then get back on the beam.

That takes a lot more energy than just getting back on it when you're right next to it.

And that was like a visual that I understood very early on in recovery.

I was like,

You know what?

Some days I'm exhausted.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm just depleted and I don't have the energy.

And I'm just laying there going,

Just leave me alone.

I don't want to take the energy to get back on the beam.

But what I noticed was if I allowed myself to do that three days later,

The energy was three times more to get back on that beam.

It was harder to get back on the longer I left myself drift away.

And that's when I was like,

Okay,

So it might be hard today,

But the only thing I know about being off the beam is it's going to be even harder two days from now.

It's going to be even harder a week from now.

So if I have to expend a hundred pounds of energy to get back on the beam today,

I'm probably going to have to expend 500 pounds of energy to get back on the beam five days from now.

And screw that.

Screw that.

I don't even know if I can muster up the hundred pounds of energy today.

I'd be damned if I'm going to wait five days and try to figure out how I'm going to muster up 500 pounds.

You know,

So that that was that's something that that this is why I can kick myself in the ass and get myself to do the hard things most of the time.

I don't do anything perfectly,

But I do it pretty well.

So this it's this mentality,

The understanding that I'm not giving myself a break.

When I'm when I'm in crappy head space and I don't feel like doing what it takes to get back on the beam,

I'm not.

I mean,

You know,

You can cut yourself a break here and there.

Don't get me wrong.

Sometimes I'll just give myself a day to lay on the couch and watch movies if I feel like it.

You know,

You can give yourself a day every once in a while,

But I'm not going to give myself two,

Three,

Four,

Five,

Six days to get further and further off of my spiritual connection.

Hell no,

Because that's five times more energy it's going to take to get back on.

And I don't feel like putting myself through that self-love.

I'm not doing it because the hundred pounds of energy is easy.

I'm doing it because even though the hundred pounds of energy is really hard,

It's easier than 500 pounds.

So people look at me and they go a lot of this kind of coincides with this.

People have said many times over the years,

They go,

Wow,

Glenn,

You're really strong because of this type of stuff.

You know,

You really push through and do the difficult things.

You're really strong.

And I'm like,

No,

It's not because I'm strong.

That's not why I do it.

If anything,

It's because I'm weak.

That's why I do it because I don't white knuckle well.

I do not handle unhappiness well.

I'm not that type of person that can just wallow around in self-pity and misery week after week after week and just kind of hang on somehow.

I'm not that guy.

I get majorly depressed.

I get suicidal.

I'm a freaking mess if I let myself go.

I do not handle misery well at all.

I either got to be happy or I'm in deep crap.

So I just stay happy,

You know,

As much as possible.

And to put it into perspective,

I do not do anything perfectly,

But this is the overall mindset that I'm in.

It's worth it for me to to push through and do the difficult thing,

Because that's actually the easier,

Softer way.

It looks real hard and it looks real difficult,

But compared to its alternative,

That's easy.

This is what I'm trying to get across to you guys.

Whatever hurdle you have in front of you is as low as it's going to get.

You think it's a bitch jumping over the hurdle now?

Give it five years.

That hurdle is going to be way higher.

So this is actually the easier,

Softer way.

It looks like we're doing something difficult,

But actually we're saving ourselves a pain in the ass that's even larger five years down the road.

You know,

So it's worth it doing it now.

Oh,

That was fun.

The energy's flowing.

I'm getting like smoking hot.

Let's see what Ingrid says.

And no,

It's funny.

I have one of my best friends in the world my whole life.

His mom's name is Ingrid.

So whenever I see this name,

I of course I think of her.

And there's been a few posts that this Ingrid and my friend have posted like a post of mine or something,

And their names keep popping up.

It happened like two or three times.

Their names kept popping up right next to each other.

Jared Ingrid.

Jared Ingrid.

I was like,

Hey.

So anyway,

There's a little sidebar.

This is so relevant to teaching high school.

I asked my students at the end of the year how I can improve,

And they said be stricter.

Oh,

My God.

See,

Kids are telling you.

Even the naughtiest ones say harder consequences.

This is what I'm saying,

Man.

Kids want clear parameters.

They feel more comfortable when they know what's expected of them and they are held to it.

It makes them feel comfortable because their little brains are busy absorbing everything that's going on around them and creating this database that they can draw from for the rest of their lives about their experiences and stuff.

They're creating their belief systems,

And they're learning how the world works.

The world is really dysfunctional,

So it goes against the way they know is the truth and the loving way inside of them.

So it takes a lot of repetition to teach them this stuff,

And they're learning all this stuff.

They don't get it,

Man.

They don't get society because it's really whacked.

So when we as adults come in there and we give them clearer boundaries and we go,

No,

This.

And then they bump up against it four times and it doesn't move.

Then they stop bumping up against it and they go,

Oh,

Okay,

Cool,

All right.

And they actually relax.

Their energy actually relaxes because it's overstimulation.

You see it with kids with toys.

If you give kids 100 toys,

They cry more often because they're overwhelmed.

Their brain doesn't know which one to play with,

What they're supposed to be doing.

It's overstimulation,

And it's the same thing.

If we have clear boundaries with our kids,

They don't have to try to figure out what they're supposed to be doing and why they're supposed to be doing it.

And then they can relax.

They actually get calmer and more peaceful.

It's really amazing,

And this is right out of nature.

My friend Brian showed me this with horses.

It's like the horses do the same thing.

They have one horse that goes and makes sure everything's safe around,

So the other horses cannot worry about what is around.

They have like one horse that goes on security detail,

You know,

And they figure this out themselves.

So the alpha goes around,

Makes sure that the area is safe,

And the playful ones go and play and eat.

They don't worry about it because they can relax because they know somebody else is in charge.

This is what we need to be as adults.

We need to be in charge.

We're too busy being nice to these kids.

I mean,

We can be loving and kind and firm.

Love is strong.

You know,

Love has strong boundaries.

We can be that out of love.

So,

Yeah,

That's it.

Firm it up.

Yeah,

We're all in deep poop emoji.

I try,

You know,

I let a swear come out every once in a while,

And in my regular life,

I definitely swear.

But with this podcast,

I try not to just because of the rating system,

You know.

Yeah,

I don't get society.

Yeah,

That is a totally different podcast.

Yeah,

Society teaches a lot of stuff,

But it's just been passed down generation to generation.

You know,

It took tens of thousands of years for us to get this dysfunctional and for us to believe the lies this deeply.

You know,

So it's a process.

I mean,

If we just look at,

Like,

The way we think about it,

Like the way society functions,

And we go,

That doesn't work.

Why do they do it?

That's stupid.

Well,

Of course,

It's going to look stupid,

But we're too close to the problem.

You know,

Stepping back,

Gaining perspective,

Going,

Okay,

Now who was in charge of,

You know,

Like,

How has society been going for the last 10,

000 years?

Oh,

Well,

With dictators and,

You know,

Kings and queens ruling other people and caste systems.

And they did that because they found out that,

Like,

A few could gain massive amounts of power and control and money and do whatever they wanted,

And they could make other people do whatever they said,

And they liked that dynamic.

So it's been passed on and passed on and passed on and passed on.

So then you go,

Oh,

That's the motivation for it.

Oh,

Okay.

Now all of a sudden you start looking at society and you go,

That doesn't work.

Why would they do it?

It's like,

Well,

Wait a minute.

What's your goal?

To be happy,

Healthy,

And have a contented society to live in?

Well,

No,

It doesn't work.

But if your goal is to control people,

You know,

If your goal is to control people,

Rule people,

Keep people down and be in control,

Oh,

Well,

Now all of a sudden society starts making sense.

Well,

Yeah.

Well,

Yeah.

You know,

And that's really what it is,

Is the wrong people have been in control,

Which is so important for us.

This is why,

You know,

Well,

Now this is one of the main reasons why I'm doing these podcasts,

Is to put out different ways of looking at things and different ways of living our lives and to empower you to design the life you want,

Because you do have the power to live whatever life you want.

And you need to know that and you need to know how to implement it so you can start doing it,

You know,

And that's going to manifest in peace in your heart and love and happiness.

And once we have a bunch of little spots of peace,

Love and happiness all over the planet,

It raises the vibration and,

You know,

And some of you are going to manifest,

Not I don't even like that word,

Some of you are going to come in to large amounts of money.

So as the spiritual shift continues taking place,

We're going to have people like you that have,

Some of you aren't going to want lots of money and you're going to be really happy in a little cabin somewhere or wherever you want to live.

You're going to be ecstatic there.

And then other people,

Their role will be to acquire large amounts of money and to live by these principles and help others with that money.

And we're seeing a large shift.

This is one of the reasons why I'm looking into cryptocurrency.

Well,

Not just looking into it,

But investing in it,

Because right now we're on the crux of a major shift of finances.

You know,

That money is going to be going to people in that never had access to it before,

In ways that has never happened before.

And I believe crypto is one of those ways,

If not the biggest way.

So,

You know,

We're on the crux of all this stuff,

People,

And I want to give you as many tools as I can to change your life.

You know,

That's it.

Just change your life,

Man.

Stay focused on changing your life.

You don't have to worry about money.

If that's part of it,

It'll come.

You know,

As long as you're doing what you want to do to design your best and happiest life,

Whatever you need,

You're going to be fully supported.

That's one of the beauties right now.

I've seen the universe support people who are on this path in much more powerful and larger ways than was happening 15 years ago.

I mean,

We're always being supported by the universe if you're on this path.

But nowadays,

Just in the last year or two,

People are being supported in grandiose ways,

Much larger ways,

Because the spiritual shift is picking up pace.

It's coming.

It's here now.

We're in the midst of it.

So it's a fun,

Exciting time,

Man.

So implement these things.

Take control over your life.

Empower yourself to make the changes that you've always wanted to make.

And who gives a crap if they're hard?

What would you tell your kid or your friend or anybody other than yourself if they came up to you and said,

I have an opportunity to really enhance my life and create the life that I've always wanted,

But it seems kind of hard and I'm kind of low on energy.

So I think I'm going to not do that and just stay in the existence that I don't like for another year to five years,

Maybe for the rest of my life.

Like,

What would you say to somebody that says that to you?

That's actually what you're telling yourself.

If you keep yourself stuck,

You're actually saying that to yourself.

No,

Don't say that to yourself.

Dig deep.

If that's what you need to do.

Find the courage.

Courage is not absence of fear.

It's action in the face of fear.

Find that courage.

Push through.

Do what you need to do.

Change your life and live the life that you deserve.

Because we've all suffered enough,

Man.

We don't need to walk around suffering anymore.

It's time for us to live the life,

The lives that we deserve,

You know?

So that'll do.

And Sarah's like,

Sarah's like,

Yes.

Can I get an amen?

Can I get a hoo-ha two times Tuesday?

All right.

All right,

Peeps.

Thank you.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for being a part of.

Thank you for your comments and your presence.

And I will talk with you soon.

Thank you,

Buddy.

I will talk with you soon.

All right.

So I'm going to go over here and I'm going to click this little video and I'm going to peace out.

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