Be Released From Painful Reactions GF Live 1-25-25

Let's get underway.

Katie,

Bring up the topic for our material today,

Would you please?

Everyone,

It reads,

A powerful revelation to help release you from painful reactions.

And though it's somewhat humorous,

Just to be sure we're all on the same page,

How many of you suffer from painful reactions?

It's a silly question,

Isn't it?

This world is a reaction machine,

No intelligence guiding relationships between one another.

We are all,

To whatever degree it's true,

Ruled by an upwelling of unconscious forces that have their way with us and that push us into and through painful relationships with others that we don't even know that's happening until it's too late.

So I want to cover something quickly with you.

There is no negative reaction that you or I ever have,

No psychological reaction that isn't part of an unseen judgment of the moment.

Let me repeat that.

There is no psychological reaction that isn't part and parcel with,

If not the continuity and the validation of an unseen judgment that we have had toward that moment.

This is very important to understand because the reaction follows the judgment and we're not aware of the judgment at all.

We are identified with the reaction so that what happens is that this nature that has made the judgment has collected us and made us a captive of a conclusion that we don't even know we reached,

But that we feel validated with through our reaction that tells us who did what to us and why.

Let's bring up the first key lesson,

Kate,

Then I'm going to read to you a little bit of a piece of scripture that connects.

Read along with me,

Please,

The first key lesson for today.

Only in our conscious awareness of a personal limitation through our ability to sense the presence of any indwelling negative or otherwise self-denigrating thought or feeling is realized the strength we need to die to an unconscious nature that otherwise lives to ensure that we accept its dark and limited view of life as our own.

That we accept its dark and limited judgments of life that we believe are our own.

I think it's in Matthew and I just read this to you briefly so that you understand that what I'm teaching may be expressed in a new way and God willing that it is,

But by the grace of God these teachings have been on this planet for thousands of years only stated in certain ways that now by and large are indiscernible to most of us.

We get a glimpse of it but we're going to go deeply into God willing what you have glimpsed is true about this idea of judgment and reaction.

Christ was talking,

He said,

For with what judgment ye judge you shall be judged and with what measure you meet out it shall be measured to you again.

And why do you behold the mote in your brother's eye but consider not the beam that is in your own or will thou say to your brother let me pull that mote out of your eye and behold a beam is in your own.

Then he said you hypocrite first cast the beam out of your own eye and then you'll see clearly enough to take the mote out of your brother's eye.

Now we kind of get that idea we know better even though we don't do better than to sit in judgment of those who set us off in some way.

But still I would ask you how many of you in one way or another either silently or actually said it out loud when someone sets you off what is wrong with that person and there's always a negative taint to it.

When we ask what's wrong with that person it's not being asked out of love or compassion it's being asked out of a judgment that has told us something about that person's demeanor that action has brought up this negative reaction in us and we wouldn't possibly be negative unless there was someone responsible for that ruinous state in us so we say what's wrong with them.

How many times have you asked that question outwardly or inwardly or sat down and talked to other people about it gossiping.

You can't count them.

So I want to ask you a question now on the heels of that.

How many times have you come to some kind of and I would add always conflicted conclusion about what's wrong with somebody.

We can't count them.

That's what we do when somebody sets us off we try to figure out what's wrong with them and then having judged them for this limitation we see in them try to figure out what our actions have to be to rescue ourselves from that person that situation but here's the point to what end.

Your work has to have an expansive view of another order of time of your own time body of this nature that isn't just here and there predicated on some reaction to a condition and then that's my identity that's my identity that's my identity that's what Legion is.

We have to be able to see over a broader stretch of time a thousand times we have had that judgment that reaction and a thousand times what has it done has it ever changed the person that you judge and more importantly and really to the heart of our material today has it ever done one thing to change you has judging another human being or wondering why that person is the way they are has it ever done one thing to change you or the person being judged and I'll ask you so we can all be on the board here has it done anything to change you or the other human being I mean I could wait for the line to go through but it you mean obviously it not done anything has any judgment of this world changed this world let alone the people in it never and yet by default every time something happens to us that we think someone else has done to us we go into this default mode of a judgment a reaction then concluding what's wrong with them and then acting on that conclusion which as that first key lesson said means we accept a limited view of an unconscious nature as our own so let's make a transition here I ask you to see whether or not this is true if it's evident and I think it is that we've it's impossible to make anyone and I'm talking about friend family a loved one people you work with is it is it possible to make anyone that sets you off see in themselves what does that to you have you ever succeeded in that we see the limitation in them that's what our reaction is to this person has a fault they're broken why are they this way so anytime someone does something or say something that hurts us or holds back something that we want to hear from them but we don't get the minute that that disturbance is created in us in that same moment up comes this negative reaction that we believe as we experience it coursing through us is going to somehow or other change the moment we're in because either through our grim look on our face at that person or our judgment of them in that moment it's maddening if we see it and here's the point we can't make any person who upsets us feel the upset we feel we cannot make any person that sets us off understand that they have set us off and that in that understanding that they might have this the true word for compassion that they might feel what they have done to our heart and mind we try all the time our passive-aggressive comments are sitting down and having a serious talk with people all the rest of that we can't make the person feel what we do when from our point of view sitting here discussing this with it we can see if they weren't blind they wouldn't treat us with that kind of inconsideration or unkindness only a person who is blind to what they are doing treats another human being with unkindness and that blindness isn't just what they do to another person but that blindness is what is taking place within them because they are the handmaiden hand servant of a reaction they didn't see and one by the way that continues to grow and generate more and more of these same dark moments and we can even say if you want that we know it's true I know I can't make my husband my wife my son my daughter that that person that I work with I know I can't make him feel the way I do when he's like that and yet in spite of knowing that I can't make you feel how you make me feel I will always get involved in some kind of negative knee-jerk reaction whose seeming purpose is to let that person know again through my face through my action or words unkind as they will be let them know how painful it is to be involved with them I want you to see something with me can you see or at least you should be able to see that when you are I respond to someone who is not responding to us or whose response sets us off we should be able to see that when we have that habitual negative reaction to them out of our resistance to what they have brought up inside of us the minute they meet this negative reaction of ours it drives them into a kind of a psychological shell in which not only can they not see outside of themselves but the depth and breadth of their enhanced resistance to us that caused that initial treatment now that resistance tells them their right to feel the way they do about us to make those comments because our resistance fuels whatever started their feud with us that passive-aggressive comment and in the next moment they double down on their abusive behavior and we have no idea of why it is that that's taking place failing to see that when we resist and judge someone else's resistance and judgment of us it's just like throwing gasoline on a fire and we know beyond the shadow of a doubt that that's true because that's the nature of arguments that's the nature of what happens when one human being judging another tries to make the judge of their nature see that they are the cause of that problem and that what is being judged in us is completely harmless this last point what I've just said to you this insight reveals if we can see it a kind of a double blind a double bind there's no way that that person when we resist them is ever going to be able to see the limitation inherent in their conditioned reaction for instance here's this person they're angry they're being disrespectful they're they're absent of even the smallest extent of externally considering someone else let alone us and so here they are blind to their own unkindness whatever shape that takes and in their blindness to their unkindness what do we meet them with an unkindness that is equally blind a negative reaction that blames them for the suffering that we think they have brought up in us so that here you have two people both believing that the pain they're in is because of other something something that just happened in the moment or one person that you know some family member somebody at work you have a history with so that every time they see you you don't know that the pain they're in in that moment isn't because of what you actually are in that moment the pain they're in in that moment is because this unconscious nature has produced in them some sensation of suffering connected to a conditioned experience in the past and they look at you and they see you as the source of this unconscious pain being generated by an unconscious nature if we ever hope in any way whatsoever that our friend our family member the person at work even a stranger if we ever have the whole the smallest hope that that man or woman will begin to see this limitation in them if you're following me if there's any hope they will ever see this limitation that is the source of this negative reaction it is we you and I who are going to have to give up the negative reaction first not wait until they become someone else not until they awaken to the love that we imagine we know not hope in some strange world that one day they're going to see us and realize what they've been doing to us and that they were wrong and that we were right in resisting them or asking them why are you this way as long as you and I judge and react those who sit in judgment of us and treat us through their reaction of that judgment you should be able to see that we are in some strange dark world where there is a loop of psychological conditioning repeating itself and repeating itself creating the hell that this world is because all human beings know how to do is hope that we can change the ones that we judge while hoping they they see that we are above judgment that's a war but giving up our own reaction recognizing that when this person looks at me or says that comment passive-aggressive whatever it may be and suddenly I'm I'm I steal up inside that that very nature itself that part of us that reacts that way mechanically is a part of the unconscious system of judgment that it sits in judgment of it cannot see how it's complicit in the continuity of that pain of that pattern it can't see it but at some point God willing as aspirants men and women being introduced to these higher ideas that you are being introduced to here it can begin to dawn on us no wonder nothing changes I have the same resentment I did for you for 20 years as I did for two days with that new person at work who didn't yield to my demand or who looked at me askew and if you get to the point that you understand what I'm saying the question comes up how am I gonna do this I don't want to be angry I don't want to be regretful I don't want to be filled with resentment I don't want to carry around the weight of that conversation that I just had with you where I I steeled up and repressed all my reactions because I didn't want you to know that you were hurting me or or or the reverse where I lashed out in anger because you dared to suggest that there was something wrong with my demeanor by action or look how do I get started with something like that this is the whole purpose of the talk of the first 20 minutes of our time together to set the groundwork for understanding a possibility that we presently can't even get close to because we are constantly looking at these moments through the eyes of a nature that can't see anything other than what justifies the sense of self derived from those dark reactions so take a nice deep breath let's make a transmit a transmission this is a transmission let's make a transition through this transfer transmission first I'll ask how many of you are on track with what I'm saying if you understand to some extent what I'm saying I'm not asking if you like it and I'm not asking you to believe I'm asking you can you see the the basis the foundation of what it is that I'm laying out here for us to see good there's only one way one way to change any of these moments when negative reactions start talking to us and they do talk to us don't they and what are these negative reactions talking to us about they're justifying our right to make whoever it is pay for their unjust treatment of us or their judgment of us that has brought this up in us so these reactions they start talking to us justifying themselves and as long as we see others as being unjustly treating us how will there ever be any possibility of a new relationship with them when all we are looking at them through is through the eyes of something that has reacted which you can't stop the reaction that's another thing you're not here to stop your negative reactions spiritual in quotes spiritual people believe they're not supposed to have a negative reaction you show me someone who doesn't have a negative reaction and I'll show you someone who is dead or dying reactions of all kinds are inherent in being a creation and that includes being a psychological creation and complicit in that creation but there's no hope of forging a new relationship with these people let alone with our own reactions until we have a new relationship with our own highly predictable reactions think of what I've said we expect them to be different we must ourselves have a new relationship with our own old reactions I hope you can follow this how can I ever have a new experience learn anything grow through a relationship as long as I continue to meet that relationship through what my reactions old reactions negative reactions are telling me is true about you where I'm in judgment of you to the extent you've judged me or disrespected me which we take as a judgment I have to have an a new relationship with my own reactions Oh the possibility that I'm speaking to you about if you can reach for it as long as I have the same reactions I'll be the same old self identified with the sensation of being mistreated or misjudged someone's this that or the other I'll never be able to change because until I change my reaction with the nature responsible for those old reactions what else can happen and there's only one way to change our relationship with these familiar negative reactions let alone and I hope you see it this the pattern of these relationships that they serve to reincarnate and what is that one way we have to learn to see our old reactions through new eyes we have to learn to see our old reaction through new eyes not the eyes that see what the reaction says justifies the pain but new eyes that see in that moment that the pain we're in is going to repeat itself as long as it isn't used properly to reveal as it's intended the consciousness responsible for those reactions so until we have a new understanding a new awareness if you want an inclusive awareness of all the moving parts in these moments of painful relationships and their reactions till we have a new understanding we remain literally an unwitting part of the conflict that keeps being repeated still with me trying to try and I'm working to get to the point where what I say to you is going to sound like somebody speaking in a foreign language it'll be it's that uncommon to us imagine why better not get ahead of myself in moments of conflict with others with life itself we must do our level best to wake up and to see the truth of our negative reaction for what it is in the moment of that moment of conflict we must somehow bring ourselves back be able to see the truth of our negative reaction for what it is for what it is as opposed to what our negative reaction is telling us is the truth of the moment negative reactions say this is the truth and once I'm armed with the truth the sort of truth I can go out and slay my adversaries but when you're having a negative reaction and seeing life through its eyes all you see is what needs to be true so that it can live out its life through you know I have to see the truth of a negative reaction for what it is instead of seeing what this condition nature tells me is there to justify its pain and unless getting ready to hit the hit the skids here unless we are broken beyond repair and that's a fairly extreme description there are human beings and I'm not here to speak for the divine God works the miracles that God works with all human souls but when we are broken the way that we are and by broken it's not a judgment broken simply means apart from the divine life that is constantly giving birth to itself and healing all that comes into that moment requiring being reintegrated that's what a broken human being is a broken human being is someone who lives apart from the grace and the intelligence of this present moment that is the the very air the very ocean of presence itself unless we're broken beyond repair there's no escaping the fact that not one good thing has ever come out of being identified with any form of hatred resentment any kind of anger not one good thing not one good thing has ever come out of being identified with a negative reaction now I'm going to pause for a moment let you genuflect for a second what good thing has ever come out of being identified with a negative reaction whereas we are able to see if we can that being aware of our identification with a reaction is the beginning of releasing it of releasing ourselves from it and that's good so a negative reaction can serve two purposes the continuity of an unconscious nature that will always find someone or something to judge for the pain that it is complicit in creating through its demands or that same negative reaction can serve as the ground for a new ability to be a witness to this consciousness as it doesn't know what else to do with something that's contentious something that challenges its identity so let's be very clear and not make any mistakes here I really want you to understand this it's true the way some troubled person reacts to us the people are around us and I'm telling you it's so the people around us everyone you and I I know this hard to get you look around see toxic troubling troubled people people look at you and see a toxic troubled person that's that's what our eyes see my sense of self is derived from being apart from and separate from that which I can either change or hope to control or escape so the whole of this nature is always looking out and seeing the limitations of everyone else around us isn't that what I'm judging when you don't treat me the way I want to be treated if you were a full whole happy person you would recognize what a full whole happy person I am and you would give me the kudos I deserve you would never be cruel you would never withhold your affection all of the things that we look at others and judge them for being this or that way is because we think to ourselves you know this person is limited I mean maybe if I work with them enough if I if I push enough if I pull a little enough I try to make them see what they're maybe if I do that maybe they'll see now I'm not saying not to have conversations with friends family loved ones I'm not saying that to you at all I'm just trying to point the arrow here where if there is ever going to be a real change in these relationships and the negative reaction that presently drive them that change isn't going to start with that person it's going to have to begin with us so yep that man that woman toxic troubled even horrible I've known people I was fortunate in my own way not to be physically abused by a parent but I would say with almost no doubt whatsoever to be born into this world to parents no matter how great they are or were were asleep and couldn't help but express the pain they felt if not on you taking it on you then drinking it away or drugging it away or shopping it away or running away we sit and look at these people and their limitations on full display I don't know if you see this I'm asking you to see it he's sitting sitting at a dinner table you're you're walking down the street your attention flies to everyone and anything and by and large every bit of this attention is on some sort of summary judgment why does that person walk that way if that person walked the way I walk why is that person dressed like that if they dressed as eloquently or whatever as they dressed as cool as I dress there'd be no judgment I would have no if everybody was like me I'd have no pain and that's my pain so it's true that not one of our painful judgments of any human being regardless how obvious their limitation may be and again I'm not denying that regardless how broken that person is give her who was I just talking to oh it was on a the student chat chat last night somebody said that they smiled and said hello to somebody in a market and the person looked at them and just grunted and how this person a student recognized they had this reaction in them that that person didn't respond the way they're supposed to respond and so they would have had ordinarily a negative reaction that would have led to a conversation in their own head that would have concluded with their good the other person's bad we're trying to understand that whole dynamic so that we can begin to let go of this habitual reaction these relationships we have with them so if we're ever going to understand it begins with all right not one of these reactions has ever liberated me from being identified with my own reaction not one reaction has ever liberated me from being identified with my own unkind reaction not one reaction and essentially as we looked at every reaction we have whether it's with somebody we stay with meaning with a family or friend or somebody on the street our our negative reaction creates a pattern if I had the wherewithal and the time and I would show you if for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction that's a law so if I have this negative reaction by God it is going to create an equal and opposite negative reaction that's what it's going to do so I'm walking down the street I'm talking to you I'm talking to myself I'm having a negative reaction every negative reaction seems to be a way in which to escape or change the condition when the negative reaction is ensuring the condition that pattern continues are you able to see this with me so if that's true and it is what would be the nature of our new relationship with these old reactions of ours I'm asking you I I don't have time to chat what would be this new relationship with my own old reactions what would it be think about it for a moment if you can I know it's hard sometimes well let's see what is one or what one of my old reactions immediate anxiety because I'm losing control immediate doubt because that person has spoken in a way that puts my beliefs and questions and I always blame the person speaking judging their mistaken perception instead of recognizing that if I'm ever going to have a new relationship with these old reactions I'm gonna have to do my best to see the following truth and the clearer that we can see what I'm about to point out with the second key lesson the nearer we come to this the actual talk title of this talk which is to be released from this set of painful reactions let's bring up the second key lesson please Kate identifying with one of our own familiar negative reactions born of being in the presence of some painful emanation expressed by someone else whatever their fault or weakness is not their limitation it is ours identifying with one of our own familiar negative reactions born of being in the presence of some painful emanation expressed by someone else whatever the nature may be of that fault of how broken they are that negative reaction is not their limitation it's ours and no Samia you are not the bad guy there ain't no good guys there ain't no bad guys there is just ignorance that's divided the world up into opposites try to see that I cannot sit in judgment of you without having decided that what you have said done or acted out proves just how limited you are because after all I've tried to explain to you I I've I've laid it out or I've yelled it out and you don't get it how limited are you and until that mindset is brought into the light into the grace of a divine understanding that my problem with you is not because of your limitation my judgment of you and the sense of self that it creates is my limitation if you need to reread that key lesson a thousand times until you get what that wisdom is trying to reveal to you what it's here's what it's trying to convey because I'm running out of time impatience is my limitation and not what that nature blames it on I'm in a hurry my nature is blaming this anxiety this impatience on some place that I haven't got to or someone who won't do what I want them to do and that mindset then sets me out traveling through time psychological time trying to create conditions under which when I finally get everything lined up I won't be impatient I won't be anxious anymore because everything's gonna be settled and it's never settled because that consciousness that level of self wants things needs things to be unsettled so that it can continue to try to settle them through its own reactions imagine using a leaf blower to straighten out a pile of fall leaves resentment you resent people I don't know how many times I have talked spoken about this and I know I will continue to do so all the time I'm with people and they are breeding grounds of resentment all they have to do is hear see or run into someone related to some condition in their life and the instant that they enter into that the minute that thought reminds them of it resentment flowers and when that resentment opens up like that it always by that reaction points to the one or the person or the problem that has caused that to be seated inside of me no resentment is my limitation regardless of how seemingly well justified it is Oh dear God please help all of us to understand that until we recognize that a negative reaction doesn't prove that we know better and should rule the circumstance or the person but that a negative reaction is an indication of a responsibility that I have refused to take and the responsibility I've refused to take is how easily identified I am and how quickly my character is formed by handing myself over to this unconscious nature that always has some reaction some comment to make some pain to relive every times it runs into some problem that's even remotely familiar to something in the past any form of negative judgment is my limitation not the not because of the person I judge that's how we grow that's how things begin to change and the same holds true with our inability to forgive or just to let go of some petty argument or gripe you know why it's impossible for a human being to know what true forgiveness is true love because that human being is clinging to the condition they blame for the absence of that love while hoping to escape the pain of their own judgment by summarily saying I give up I forgive and all the rest of that when that person lives in the conflict and they know as well as I do you should all you need is one little triggered remember memory and boom you're gone let's summarize all of this I'm about to run out of time I have a small special writing I'm going to read it to you if I have a moment or so I will explain it otherwise come back and read it again and again so that you can catch all that I'm trying to impart to you here let's bring up the special writing for this inside timer we can continue to suffer over what amounts to the pain of resisting what remains broken in other human beings some obvious limitation within them that we habitually mechanically have some dark reaction to in spite of the fact that this unseen order of suffering has not only failed to change those we blame for it but actually exacerbates the pain of our relationship with them but there is a bright right alternative and here it is we can make the choice to suffer within ourselves the unconscious parts of us that that as is true for others is our limitation I'm going to read that one more time we can make the conscious choice to suffer within ourselves this unconscious nature that as is true for everyone else is our limitation what you trigger in me is my limitation but it's also my possibility to have through that awareness the source of that limitation continuing on and in the light of that realization work to not only release ourselves from negative reactions but die to the unconscious nature responsible for their painful continuation I'm described in 43 minutes here everything that Christ alluded to when he said one must lose their life to find it everything in that beautiful idea that in my weakness is thy strength made whole all of these beautiful passages back in the day point to a real moment-to-moment set of relationships that you and I are in with everyone we know in the world around us where everyone we know and anything in the world around us that sets us off can set us up set us up on the path of beginning to recognize that the next time I get negative you get negative can I remember as best possible not to judge you for your limitation for being a broken human being and bringing that bitterness into this moment but to understand the only real bitterness there is in that moment is the unkindness that comes up in me when all I know how to do is judge you for what I say you are and what you've done to me I hope you've heard this I'll see you again be well