The Byte: Melanie Serrano ~ A Basketful Of Miracles

Hello,

Everyone,

And welcome to another episode of the podcast.

This week,

I want to start off by thanking everyone who's left a rating or written a review.

I'm so very grateful to everyone who takes the time.

I love getting feedback,

And it's important to know what works,

What doesn't work.

So every time you write something to me,

I seriously appreciate it.

This week,

I interview Melanie Serrano,

And she's such a warm,

Beautiful,

Gorgeous,

Deeply intuitive human being.

She works at Enlightened Path and has a master's in psychology.

She also self-describes as a self-love and empowerment coach,

As well as meditation teacher.

But I was really struck in my conversation with her just how loving she is,

How open-minded,

How open-hearted she is.

And make no mistake,

Melanie has a huge heart.

Her story about her miracle this week,

She shares a couple,

And I don't want to spoil anything,

But by the end of our conversation,

I was feeling so fuzzy and warm-hearted.

I hope you feel the same.

So now,

This very next episode,

And my conversation with Melanie Serrano.

I was widowed at 30 years old,

And I had three kids ages eight,

Four,

And two and a half years old.

And I remember people saying so much,

Mel,

But you're so strong,

But I never saw it.

I never saw it,

Because I wasn't ready to see it.

And I was in the space of not allowing myself completely to grieve in that space.

Because the first time when the police actually came to my house and told me that my husband went past,

Because he passed in a car accident,

The first thing that came out of my mouth was,

What am I going to say to my kids?

I,

Girl,

I know.

I used to be very much a people pleaser and want to do things because,

You know,

I was raised,

Jamaican households are strict,

And they had a regimen of how you're supposed to live your life.

And I was always the oddball,

That was just me.

And I was not,

They were saying,

No,

You shouldn't be doing this.

So for a while I was people pleasing,

But then from people pleasing,

I realized I wasn't happy.

Because why?

Because I'm not doing it for myself.

And I'm not saying this out of ego or that,

Like,

Narcissistic space,

But when you're trying to please other people,

You yourself are not happy,

Because it's not coming from your heart.

And it's coming sometimes from a space of obligation and not really wanting to come from you.

And that's why I can totally understand about what I was saying about earlier,

About authentic self.

That's also being your true self.

If it's coming from you,

As opposed to doing it to please someone else,

Or like our society deemed how it should be,

As I said before,

Coming from a Jamaican household and Caribbean people in general,

You're taught,

So you're supposed to respect your mom and dad.

You're not supposed to talk back.

If you say something that's talking back,

And that's,

I raised my kids very different.

I very much did.

I broke all that stuff.

I was like,

You guys tell me what you're feeling.

I'm like,

I'm here to hear what it is that you're feeling in this point.

What you say is valid to me.

I understand that.

I'm very much that parent that I'm like,

What's going on?

What's going on?

Tell me.

I'm here for you.

It's not too much that I'm pushing them to overcome the boundaries that they're putting,

But I'm there letting them know,

Hey,

I'm here for you.

It's okay if you don't want to talk about it now,

But when you're ready,

You can come and I'm here.

I just want you to know that.

I've very much been like that.

It's funny because my house was the hangout house for a while for everyone,

And a lot of my kids' friends even now have told me,

They said,

Mel,

You have been a big impact in my life because you allowed me to be myself.

You heard what I was saying.

You didn't sit there and say,

But no,

Why are you doing that?

You've done that for me,

And I've done that for my kids.

If my kids say,

I want to do this,

Great,

Go for it.

Go do it.

Try it out.

See what it's like.

You're not going to discourage them and say,

No,

You need to look for something that's more stable,

Or no,

You should .

.

.

I want you to go out there and discover yourself.

Discover your gifts.

Do your thing.

Play with life.

See how it goes,

And you're going to learn out there,

And I'm going to be here to catch you every time.

I'll be here for you.

I love how beautiful that way of being in the world is,

Right?

Because kids,

Poor kids,

They take on so much of what their parents are splashing out into the world,

And you just sound like such a supportive and amazing mom on the screen,

So yay for you.

You know,

That's so healthy and lovely.

All of us find ourselves at various times in our lives,

In the valley of the shadow of death,

Right?

You're just dark night of the soul.

You're slogging through,

And you're like,

When is .

.

.

What's happening?

I think this interview will be really good for a lot of people,

Because it will remind people how powerfully they're loved,

And also how powerful they are,

So thank you.

Your stories are holy cow.

I'm going to tell you something,

Too.

I remember for a very long time,

Because I was widowed at 30 years old,

And I had three kids ages eight,

Four,

And two and a half years old,

And I remember people saying so much,

Melba,

You're so strong,

But I never saw it.

I never saw it,

Because I wasn't ready to see it,

And I was in the space of not allowing myself completely to grieve in that space,

Because the first time when the police actually came to my house and told me that my husband went past,

Because he passed in a car accident,

The first thing that came out of my mouth was,

What am I going to say to my kids?

That's where my focus jumped to at that point,

And they've been,

And I'm going to be honest,

They've been my center universe for a very,

Very long time,

And my grief was very much put on hold,

So that was another point in my life that I was kind of grieving,

But not completely,

Because I had to take on what was going on with them,

And my oldest daughter,

It impacted her very much,

Because she was very close to her dad,

So it was me trying to get help for her,

And wanting to be there for her,

And looking for help with counselors,

Not knowing what to do,

And not even knowing if I was a good enough parent at that time,

Because I was like,

Okay,

I'm doing this,

Yeah,

My family did help me with certain things,

Like if I had to go to school,

They'll help watch them,

But for the brunt of a lot of things,

It was me and them in the home,

So like their breakdowns and things like that,

It was me witnessing those things,

And me helping for those times with them,

Because I remember,

Yeah,

I was going to school,

But there were times that I wasn't even in that space of allowing myself to grieve in that moment,

Because my whole focus was to be with them and to help them,

But eventually,

You know how that is,

Emotions are not going to be stuck down forever,

They're going to rise up,

They're going to show up,

So then there was a point in time that I just broke down at that point,

And I was like,

Mom,

I really need help,

I really need help,

And I'm not one to ask my mom for help like that,

And we went,

And I got help,

But it took me a very,

Very long time to get over that,

And I'm not saying that it's going to happen for everyone that goes through that,

But this is my process,

Even up to,

And I'm not going to lie,

Up to about maybe three years ago,

And it's been over 20 years,

About 20 years,

21 years,

Yeah,

21 years,

And a lot of that has been missing him.

Sometimes I remember asking him,

Hey,

Can you come to me in my dreams,

And he'll be in my dreams for a little bit,

Holding me in solace,

Or it's,

It was not an easy thing,

But it's,

It's definitely a big chunk of my life in whom I am,

And of my strengths,

Because,

You know,

You were saying before that sometimes,

Yeah,

There's things going on,

You have this beautiful journey in this space of beauty,

But there are also things that we go through that are not so beautiful,

But then I look at it in this way,

And I'm not saying that,

Oh,

It was a beautiful thing,

That part of my life crushed me,

And I'm not even going to pretend and lie,

That was,

It was like here,

He was here one day,

And one day he wasn't,

And it was like,

I did feel the space of,

Okay,

I have to get up,

And I have to put my bootstraps on,

I gotta take care of my kids,

But for like my eldest daughter,

She just said that her,

Her,

Her world just humbled,

And she just said she was like lost,

Because she didn't have that strength,

She didn't have them anymore,

And it's just not the easiest thing to go through,

And to help your kids through,

But it can be done,

It can be done,

It's,

It's that space again of loving your kids,

Filling your cup as well is a big thing,

Because we can't always function from an empty cup.

I remember one night,

I was saying this to my mom,

One night I was just in the space that I couldn't anymore,

My kids were sleeping,

I got them up,

My grandma lives like 10,

15,

Used to live like 10,

15 minutes away,

I got everyone in the car and went to my grandma's house,

Because I,

In that moment,

It was very much towards that point where I really needed help,

I was just in that state,

And I just couldn't anymore,

And I just felt that if I could bring my kids with me to my grandma,

My grandma can help a little bit,

And I can get some of my time for myself,

Which was very much needed,

But I didn't know,

Because I was too busy trying to,

You know,

Do everything,

But it's,

It's,

It's a journey,

But it's part of my journey,

A part of what brought me to where I am now,

And today I can say yes,

I'm a strong person,

Because I do see it now,

Before I did not so much,

Now I do,

And I'm grateful,

I do say it all the time,

I'm grateful for,

For all the lessons in my life,

Even the ones that,

Like that,

That,

Like,

Took me on a whole other road to what I didn't know,

But in a,

In a way,

I,

I've got to this point to see,

Yeah,

That was a tragedy,

But it brought me to a space of understanding my strength,

Understanding what everyone sought to be,

To know that,

Yeah,

I,

Not everyone is going to do that.

All right,

Everyone,

I hope you appreciated this week's talk with another incredible guest,

Someone out there who's making the world a more positive place,

A more beautiful place.

I have to say that I'm really loving the conversations I'm having lately,

Because once again,

Week after week,

I am meeting the most splendid human beings,

And in a world rife with discord,

And people kind of going at each other in negative ways,

Having these conversations reminds me that this world,

And pretty much all the people in it,

Are incredible human beings who are just trying to find their way.

Melanie is another example of just someone that I'd like to have in my kitchen,

Just stopping by for a chat,

Sharing her wisdom,

Sharing her generosity of spirit.

She's another light worker in this world,

And I'm so very grateful that she's in it.

Thank you again to everyone who listens,

And remember,

I always need more ratings,

And I always need more reviews,

And please do share the podcast with all your friends.

Getting the word out is so very difficult as someone who creates content,

So I need all the help I can get,

So any little thing that you can do to share the podcast,

I would be so very grateful.

Thank you for listening,

And here's my one request.

Be like Melanie.

Live in this world wholehearted,

Because she really does live in this world with her whole heart,

And that's a scary and strange place to be for most of us,

But I really do feel that she's in the right place,

And that she's inhabiting this world with her whole spirit,

Her whole soul,

And I think that we can only do that when we're wholehearted,

When we're openhearted,

So be like Melanie.

Have an open heart.

Live in this world with integrity and authenticity and with your wholeheartedness,

And pretty soon,

I do think,

So very soon,

This whole world,

It's going to love you wholeheartedly back.