How To Talk To Yourself: Marisa Peer On Rapid Transformation

I'm Larry Weeks and this is Bounce.

Because I do deep work with clients which involves a lot of regression,

I began to realize that you could actually shortcut therapy without shortcutting results.

We do get into this really depressive language without even meaning to and we think sometimes it's funny but the mind doesn't understand anything,

It believes it's all real.

The mind is always going to lock on to scenes that happen when you're scared,

It's called an imprint,

You have a scary moment and against your best wishes which is to be madly in love or go to work and do well or have a little dog in the house,

You can't do it because the mind has a fixed belief.

The brain likes things to be familiar,

That's how we survived in times gone by,

By not doing anything too unfoom,

Nobody went off on a 10 mile hike to find some random tribe.

Familiar was safe.

We have a mind that still believes that familiar is safe and unfamiliar is really scary.

We're beginning to be taught now in schools,

You want to succeed at this and you've got to have these great communication skills.

You want to have a long marriage,

You better have these great communication skills but no one teaches you,

You know what,

You better communicate with yourself.

Most people will say,

Well I've always been like that,

I'm like no,

No baby is terrified of flying,

No baby has a belief that there isn't enough food because in the womb there's loads of food.

So the first thing is to show them this is acquired and that's very good news because since you acquired it,

You can be free of it.

Hello everyone,

Welcome to another episode of Bounce.

My guest on this episode is Marissa Peer.

Marissa is a bestselling author,

Motivational speaker,

A leading celebrity therapist and a pioneering hypnotherapist.

Marissa was named best British therapist by Men's Health Magazine and is featured in Tatler's Guide to Britain's 250 best doctors.

For the last 25 years,

Marissa has spent time with an extensive client list that includes rock stars and actors,

Royalty,

Professional Olympic athletes,

CEOs and a variety of media personalities and she's developed her own unique approach to therapy called RTT which stands for Rapid Transformational Therapy which is frequently referred to in various publications as life-changing.

I also have talked to therapists here in the US who have not only used her approach with her clients to some great success but also these therapists have gone through the RTT process and have told me their experience has been phenomenal.

They've initiated some change in their lives that they weren't able to prior with other coaching or therapy methods.

So it really piqued my interest and I wanted to talk to Marissa about RTT especially since anything with the name rapid or quick is appealing to me because if I can hack something or find a shortcut,

Obviously I'm lazy.

But also talk therapy and coaching can be very time consuming.

By the way,

It's very valuable but depending on the therapist and their skills and then how open you are with that therapist,

It can be very time consuming.

Well worth it but time consuming.

So anything that can speed up the process of dealing with something or improving something in your life has me curious.

Since our discussion today on the podcast is around RTT and Marissa herself and her story,

It's very interesting and I think you'll find it interesting because the conversation kind of coalesces around self-communication and I should say rather unconscious self-communication.

We talk to ourselves all the time with automatic thoughts.

We're just not aware of them and I would say depending on the day,

The majority of these thoughts can be negative or what we're telling ourselves is certainly not positive and can cause some friction as to the goals we're trying to achieve or to achieve those goals and detrimental to the real outcome or desire.

It can be contrary.

Thoughts that you may not be aware but resisting yourself,

I don't want to do this or this is going to be too hard.

We have these subconscious processes happening all the time.

So Marissa talks about it and she gives some great examples so I want to get to her right away.

So your mind kind of presents a challenge to you.

It's ready to do the thing you want but you may have to convince it so to speak by either doing the thing,

Pushing through that resistance or dialoguing with it.

So hopefully this podcast helps you with the dialoguing and answer some of the questions about RTT and hopefully improve your life.

So without further ado,

Let's talk to Marissa.

Marissa,

Welcome to the show.

Hello,

Thank you very much for inviting me.

How would you describe yourself and your work?

Are you a therapist,

A life coach,

Motivational speaker,

All of the above?

All of the above but predominantly I'd always describe myself as a therapist more than anything else and then a writer.

So everything I do,

Coaching,

Speaking,

Lecturing,

Training,

Even writing books,

It all comes under the heading of a therapist because that's what I was first of all.

And your home is England,

Correct?

It was half England,

Half LA.

We now have the luxury of spending winters in LA and summers in London.

And I have clients all over the world,

But a lot of clients in LA and London.

So we go backwards and forwards and we're very lucky to be able to do so.

Would you say that you're more well known in England versus let's say the United States?

Oh,

Definitely,

Definitely more well known in the UK.

Because I was looking at some of your work and your bio and what have you.

And forgive me,

I'm not trying to box you in here,

But it's very similar to kind of what,

I don't know,

Tony Robbins.

Is it similar?

No,

It's not similar.

I mean,

I love Tony.

I would never say a bad word against him.

I think he's a remarkable man.

But what I mean,

He isn't a trained therapist.

Doesn't mean he's not a genius because he is.

My work is very different because what I've done is looked at conventional therapy and the session every Wednesday for 20 years or the talk therapy.

You go in and you keep talking about it.

And because I do deep work with clients,

Which involves a lot of regression,

I began to realize that you could actually shortcut therapy without short-cutting results.

Once you can narrow down how the mind works and what's really wrong with people and treat that,

You get results immediately.

So I think Tony is remarkable,

But the way we work is very different.

He loves NLP.

I don't really use NLP.

Probably not unconsciously.

We're very different,

But we get very similar results,

Which is good.

I've seen him treat people with phobias using a variety of methods,

But it's beyond me.

I'm not sure what methods he's using and how he cures those phobias.

That's what's different between Tony and I.

You've just made me realize what I do,

Anyone can learn to do it within reason.

So what I do,

I developed a method and it's such a formula that I can teach almost anyone to do it.

I teach doctors,

I teach nurses,

I teach existing therapists and people who want to be therapists how to do what I do.

It's very,

Very portable.

Other people can pick it up and learn it.

I was just teaching a neurosurgeon last month how to do what I do.

I think that's the big difference.

Tony is such a genius.

It comes across as,

I couldn't do what Tony does.

I couldn't be Tony because he's so one-off.

He is a genius,

Absolutely.

Whereas what I do,

You could do what I do.

You could learn it,

You can master it,

You can train me live or online and you can actually do what I do and get the results I get.

So I'm going to say that's the difference between me and wonderful Tony.

Tony hasn't used,

As far as I know,

And I'm not,

I don't know everything about Tony,

But I think when he started NLP was the foundation,

Which was neuro-linguistic programming.

I'm no expert at that.

But you have a technology called RTT.

Yeah.

Correct?

That's right.

Yeah.

And that stands for Rapid Transformational Therapy.

That's it.

That's exactly what it stands for.

Tell us what it is and you're able to quickly get coming across.

Well,

Rapid Transformational means that I break down how the mind works.

And you only need to know three things about your mind to get it to be your best friend and your ally and your cheerleader.

First of all,

Your mind always does what it thinks you want.

So if you say things like,

That commute is killing me,

My kids are driving me crazy,

My mother-in-law wants me to kill myself,

Or this client is the client from hell,

They're torturing me.

Because your mind's number one job is to keep you alive against what were not long ago,

Not actually great odds.

So your mind will always tune into what you say.

And you know,

We say things like,

I'd rather die than do that.

I'd rather kill myself than do that.

This commute is killing me.

This job is making me crazy.

Because we are so hardwired to try to avoid being killed.

That's why if you know,

With all the involution we have,

If you go and stand on the top of a very high building and look down,

Even there's a plate glass window in front of you,

Your stomach will drop and your mind will go,

Get away from the edge you fall,

You're about to fall.

And that's how we haven't changed that much in millions of years.

So when you use this very negative language,

Your brain locks on very quickly.

So I'll give you an example,

You're 18 and some useless idiot breaks your heart and you say,

I'd rather die than go through that pain again.

I never want to fall in love again because I can't cope with the pain.

Of course you forget.

But your mind never forgets.

And so next time you meet some guy,

It makes you act difficult or act horrible.

And you get all these women and men who say,

I don't know,

I just can't have relationships.

I act out,

I sabotage,

I'm destructive,

I cheat.

Or I get fat or I don't turn up or I'm really bitchy and mean.

And it's because the mind has now a fixed belief,

You do not want to fall in love again at any cost.

And I've never seen this more clearly than infertility where women come in and go,

I've got unexplained infertility.

I don't even know what that means.

Well,

What it means is your ovaries,

Your eggs,

Your womb are great,

Your husband's sperm is great.

And no one can explain why you're infertile.

And when I start to just do a bit of regression and go back,

They always come up with the same thing.

I'm 15,

I think I'm pregnant,

My dad will kill me,

It's the end of the world,

Oh my God,

It's a nightmare.

Or I'm 16,

I think I'm pregnant,

The boy is going to leave me.

Or even I'm 19,

I think I'm pregnant,

I'm going to be kicked out of college.

And the mind is always going to lock on to scenes that happen when you're scared.

It's called an imprint.

You have a scary moment.

It's a bit like,

You know,

You're two and you see a dog and you're a woman because that's going to kill you.

And now your mind's got a fixed belief,

Being pregnant is the end of the world,

That dog will kill you.

Love tears you apart,

You don't want to go there.

And against your best wishes,

Which is to be madly in love or go to work and do well or have a little dog in the house,

You can't do it because the mind has a fixed belief.

That's not what you want at all.

And we see people every day who haven't got what they want,

Love,

Success,

Wealth,

But a lot of things they don't want,

Such as procrastination,

Being lazy and sabotaging themselves.

In each case,

The mind is certain you want this or you don't want it.

So what RTT does is it instantly goes back in seconds,

Minutes,

And it uncovers what these beliefs are,

Where you got them,

Why you got them,

How old you were.

And then it removes them.

I always say that we are rather like detectives and dentists.

So first of all,

We do some detective work and find out why you got this crazy behavior or this belief or this habit.

And then like a dentist,

We extract it.

And so it's gone forever.

And it's all based on how the mind works,

Which is it does what it thinks you want and is actually in your very best interest,

Even if you don't want it at all.

It can only respond to the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself.

So if you and I were sitting and there was a big burger on the table,

The burger went and said,

You're a fanatical vegan.

You're going,

That's disgusting.

That was a dead animal.

If you're a devout Sikh,

You're going,

No,

That's a sacred cow.

And if you're absolutely hungry,

You're going,

My God,

That's the best thing in the world.

It's not the burger.

It's the pictures and words.

But the most annoying thing about the mind for therapists is that it absolutely loves what is familiar.

And if you let the mind have its own way,

It will go back to what is familiar over and over and over again.

And it doesn't really like unfamiliar.

Hence,

You meet women who say,

Every man I meet hits me.

Every guy I meet takes my money and runs off with my friend.

Every girl I meet expects me to pay for everything and runs off with my friend.

Every job I have,

I always get fired at the six month period because the brain likes things to be familiar.

That's how we survived in times gone by,

By not doing anything too unfoom.

Nobody went off on a 10 mile hike to find some random tribe.

Familiar was safe.

And we have a mind that still believes that familiar is safe and unfamiliar is really scary.

It's why so many lottery winners get rid of all their money.

Marissa,

There's a lot to unpack in just that small amount.

Are you saying when someone says something to themselves,

First,

It's a thought,

Right?

They think it first and then they say it.

Are you saying that if you say out loud what you're thinking,

Let's say,

I can't do something.

I can never have a baby or what have you.

That's a thought first.

Then you say it.

Is there some impact to the body system when you validate it where the brain will then cause the body to respond in a way to either prevent that or cause that to happen?

Yeah.

So the body must act in a way that is utterly consistent with your thinking.

Your body has to act in a way that matches your thinking.

Here's a good example.

How many of us have said,

Oh my God,

I'm so overworked.

What I would give for a week off just lying on the sofa.

I'd give anything to have a week off just lying around.

And the next week you have the flu and there you are on the sofa with your medication.

And you didn't want that.

But your mind is so specific to the words you use.

If you say,

What an idiot,

I offered to give a talk next week.

I don't want to do that.

I'd do anything to get out of it.

Next week you'll wake up with a chronic headache or diarrhea.

And your mind's like,

There you go.

I got you out of it.

So a year ago,

I wouldn't have believed that.

I wouldn't believe what you're saying.

So what has changed is I've interviewed people and some of them are on the podcast where,

In fact,

I just recently,

And you will find this fascinating,

I think,

A lady just wrote a book called The Other Side of Impossible.

And she's a journalist and she talks about allergies that her son had that she was able to modulate some using,

There were some physical reactions to food,

But there were also some mental techniques.

She found a therapist who helped her son modulate a response to something the son was truly allergic to via some of the anxiety producing or mental,

You know,

CBT,

I think was an aspect of CBT.

So I kept hearing stories and talking to people who have actually experienced some kind of ability to control their autoimmune system via mind-body connection,

Which,

You know,

Science is now starting to validate.

So this is a whole new area for me that I've really started becoming more open to the realize,

OK,

You can really affect your bodily systems.

And they've kind of done some of the studies.

So now I'm a little more open.

So I find it very fascinating.

I think this area should be explored more.

And you mentioned a specific case.

Have you had somebody that was infertile?

Oh,

Probably about five or six hundred people,

At least.

I've got a whole wall of baby pictures.

I went to the girl.

One of the interesting cases,

This girl who didn't even have periods.

So they said,

Well,

You can't even have IVF because you don't even ovulate.

And when I went back with her to why her first memory was being 12,

Being the only girl at school who had a period and she was so ashamed of it.

And the next memory was everybody was swimming in the school swimming pool and she couldn't go in because she had a period.

She had been very early again,

Still 12,

And she was so embarrassed.

And the next memory was all the aunties came around for Sunday lunch and she got terrible cramping and had to go to bed.

And in each thing,

She said,

I hate periods.

I wish I never had them.

They're disgusting.

They're horrible.

She didn't have any friends.

She could share that with them.

Within a year,

She never had periods again.

And when I saw her,

She hadn't had a period for 13 years and she couldn't get pregnant.

And the minute I'd explained to her,

Look,

When you're 12,

It's a horrible thing to have periods,

Especially if you're the only girl.

But when you're 30,

It's a wonderful thing.

And she got a period the next month.

She was pregnant within a few months.

And then she's got two children now.

And she said,

That's amazing.

I spent so much money on IVF and I had one session with you.

But it happens a lot because the mind,

Of course,

Eavesdrops.

We know that.

We know in other cultures,

Like which doctors exist or going to Lords where we think,

Is that real or is it what you believe?

It doesn't really matter.

But I've seen lots of women who would go back to their own birth and they're on the mother's hip and the mother says,

Oh,

I nearly died.

I was ripped in half.

I bled for five days.

It was agony.

And of course,

The small baby thinks,

I don't want to go through this.

I don't want to go through that.

I've had even simpler cases where little girls,

I was watching one recently,

These little girls were watching a giraffe give birth.

And you could see the giraffe's legs hanging up.

They're going,

Oh,

My God,

I never,

Never,

Never want to do that.

Or they watch a Western where some woman screams her head off and then dies as she gives birth.

They go,

I don't want to do that.

No,

I never want to do that.

Which is kind of simple.

But when it's reinforced,

Not when the mother comes home with a baby that's died and the father says things like she can never get over the loss of that baby.

It's changed her personality.

She's just,

It's destroyed her.

The little girl in the house thinks,

Oh,

So if your baby dies,

It destroys you.

You never get better.

I don't want to go through that.

And what we aren't taught,

But we will be very soon,

Is that these are direct commands to the mind.

Never more so than public speaking.

I must have thousands of clients.

I can't speak.

I had one client who fainted at his own wedding rehearsal.

I had another client who had to give a talk at a funeral.

She said,

You know what,

I'd actually,

In that minute,

I'd rather been in the coffin.

I was so terrified of speaking.

And they always go back to the same scene.

They're a little kid,

They're reading in class,

They come to the word bridge or something that looks like it should be read,

Bridgert,

And they read bridgert and everyone laughs.

They go bright red,

They might wet themselves,

They go four or five.

And the mind thinks,

Never again,

Never,

Never do that again.

And we make decisions,

But I never want to be in love.

I never want to speak in public.

I never want to draw attention to myself.

I only want to have a nice body because that neighbor looks at me really funny and I'm only 11 and I don't know what to do about that.

And the amount of women I treat and men for obesity who've been abused and have made a decision,

I don't want anyone to look at me.

That neighbor said,

It's my fault,

I'm so beautiful,

He just can't help it.

I don't want that.

And we do make these decisions below the level of consciousness and they never go away.

That's the problem.

You can do every diet in the world,

But until you go back and unlock the command you gave yourself when you were a kid,

You're going to be stuck with it.

But there are cases where there is something organic wrong.

Oh,

Of course,

Of course.

It's not all mental.

Of course.

I mean,

Why would a three-year-old get cancer?

They don't invite that on themselves.

Well,

I'm talking about specifically infertility or.

.

.

Oh,

Yeah.

It's just,

I'm talking about unexplained.

So there's unexplained infertility.

There's secondary infertility where you have a baby,

It's all gray and you cannot get pregnant again.

Again,

It's because as we would give birth,

They go,

Never again.

Oh,

Never do that again.

And then there's explained infertility.

Your fallopian tubes are blocked,

Your hormone levels,

Your husband doesn't make enough sperm,

Doesn't swim straight,

Hasn't got a tail.

So there's lots of explained reasons.

Yeah.

But it's the unexplained that is so fascinating.

And there's a lot of stories that.

.

.

I know some friends who they were trying to get pregnant and then they adopt a baby and then they get pregnant.

Sure.

You hear that all the time.

I don't know if that's.

.

.

Oh,

Yeah.

In this country,

They ask you to use birth control for three years when you adopt because the incidence of people getting pregnant as they adopt is very high.

And also IVF,

You pay $25,

000 for IVF.

It works.

And then a year later,

You have two kids naturally because it moves you from one belief,

I can't have a baby,

To another one,

I'm a parent.

And of course,

Women who can't conceive don't walk down the aisle in Hughes Market and look at diapers.

They walk past the aisle and go,

I can't go down there,

It's killing me.

It's not fair.

They don't go to little Target and look at all the little onesies and look at the strollers.

They go,

I can't look at that stuff.

But then when you are having children,

You start to buy all that stuff and get ready because you're expecting a baby and the mind is like,

Well,

I better create this baby you're expecting.

Because a phantom pregnancy is the most perfect example of the body doing what the mind tells it it wants.

It's based on the longing for it so much that your body begins to create symptoms in response to a longing.

So if in fact it's true that the brain is preventing someone from doing something,

Speaking in public or having a baby or some kind of obstacle where it has a belief,

And again,

I don't want to put words in your mouth,

But there's some belief back in the past or something happened that was traumatic.

And so the brain said,

Okay,

Never again,

Or I'm not going to do that,

Or that's a bad thing.

I'm going to avoid it.

And so it's kind of taking over and subconsciously maybe is the way to reverse that the same way that it was caused by somehow talking.

Yes.

So I'll give you an example.

So I worked with this Arabic girl who said she was dating this white guy.

When she thought she was pregnant,

My dad would have probably killed him.

My mom would have certainly killed herself because of the absolute shame,

And I was just terrified.

And then when I found out I wasn't pregnant,

I was elated.

And then you go,

Okay,

But now you're 30,

You're married to this wonderful guy from the same religion as you.

What would your parents do?

She goes,

Oh,

My dad would be crying with joy.

My mom would be weeping with delight.

They'd be running up and down the wall giving everyone boxes of chocolate.

So you make a different picture because remember the mind responds only to the words and pictures.

The way you feel is because of the words and pictures.

And so you have to change the words and pictures.

I can't go on a plane and go,

Well,

It's a flying coffin.

It's going to drop out of the sky.

Al Qaeda are going to blow it up.

And I'm going to die,

Have a very different flight system.

It says,

Wow,

I can watch three movies.

I've got a really great book to read.

And I've got some really nice food to eat.

And I'm going to end up in LA in the summer.

Yay.

Because it is the words and pictures.

It's only the words and pictures.

So if I'm having a difficulty,

Let's say there's some issue that I'm avoiding,

You know,

My brain is telling me.

Yeah.

You're saying it's because of two things.

There's some image that's very negative and I'm backing that up with some language about it.

It doesn't have to be that.

I mean,

Imagine you've got a needle in your hand and it's going to go in your arm.

If you're a perinatik,

The words are like,

Yay,

I can't wait to put that needle in my arm and I'm going to be high.

If you're a bodybuilder,

The words would be,

I'm going to take those hormones and win Mr.

Universe.

If you're a woman that wants to look younger,

It's like that botox is going to make me look 10 years younger.

If you're in immense pain,

It's like,

Oh,

I need that injection to take the pain away.

But if you are scared of it,

It's like,

Oh my God,

That's going to hurt me.

It's going to piss my skin.

It's going to sting.

Your mind must respond to the words and pictures you give it.

It doesn't care what they are,

They could be good or bad,

But it responds to them immediately.

That's actually very good news because you begin to realize that you can change the words.

Instead of saying,

This commute is killing me,

It just goes a bit boring.

Instead of saying,

My kid is driving me insane,

You go,

Well,

Children are a challenge.

Instead of saying,

I'm at my maximum bandwidth and I'm dying under the pain,

But you just go,

Look,

I've got a great job.

It comes with challenges,

But I love it.

I'm lucky to have it.

You sort of have to learn that you cannot have this negative dialogue.

Studies have now said that people who are depressed are depressed because they bombard themselves with harsh,

Hurtful,

Critical words on a daily basis.

I'm a loser,

Everything goes wrong,

Who would want to be with me?

I've got nothing to offer.

And if you talk to yourself like that enough,

That would make anyone depressed.

But we do get into this really depressive language without even meaning to.

And we think sometimes it's funny,

But the mind doesn't understand anything.

It believes it's all real.

Did you develop this or was this something you learned?

Yeah.

No,

I was in Africa and the weird thing is I've held this lion.

It was quite a big lion and I wasn't scared at all.

I'm sorry,

A lion?

A lion.

I've held this lion in my arms.

It was daytime,

They only hunt at night.

I knew it wasn't going to kill me and it had been fed.

But then I made this rat run over my foot and I was so upset by this rat running over my foot.

And I thought,

Isn't that interesting?

See,

The lion is majestic and the rat really freaked me out.

It scared me.

It was dirty.

Then I realized,

Of course,

Everyone could have a little ladybug on their arm,

But not a cockroach.

You could have a butterfly on your face,

But not a moth.

Not a spider,

Not a flying ant.

So I began to see.

And of course,

Having a child myself,

I realized that I was watching her at the front row on a ride and she was screaming.

And I had no idea if she was terrified or delighted.

And I thought,

Isn't that interesting that you can't always tell?

And so I did work it out myself,

Particularly in Africa where I noticed that you do things there that you would never do here,

Like pee in the bush and don't worry about washing your hands.

You don't even think about germs.

It's a whole different world.

But I also noticed it because my clients,

The most miserable,

Would say things like,

Oh my God,

I nearly died in the store.

It was torture.

You know,

Actually having enough money to go food shopping was not torture.

You want to go to Africa where there isn't any food and then you'll see what torture is.

But I realized that my clients that struggled the most used the most intense language.

My mother-in-law is killing me.

My husband is making me crazy.

My kids are making me lose my mind.

None of which is true.

I also worked with a lot of obese clients and they do the same thing.

I eat nonstop all weekend.

No one does that.

Everyone has to pee and answer the phone and take a little bit of a nap.

I'm an out of control train wreck.

I can't stop eating.

I could eat 20 cakes.

None of which is true.

But because they tell themselves that,

It actually starts to become semi-true.

If you walk in your house and go,

I'm starving,

I'm starving,

Your mind immediately disables something called your apocytes that says,

I've had enough now.

I encourage you to eat and eat and eat.

If you walk in your house and go,

I do need to eat.

It's time to eat.

I'm going to eat some healthy food.

Your apocyte will say,

You're done now.

That's really nice.

But it's so interesting that the body does absolutely respond to the words we use.

So now we're getting into the application of how one would do this or how you treat someone.

And one of the aspects is changing the way you talk to yourself.

Is that right?

Yeah.

It's changing.

The first thing is having a look at where did you learn this?

Often it's learned behavior.

So it's a belief.

It's a belief.

It's a belief that cats are going to all terrible and will scratch you,

Bees are going to sting you,

You're going to fall and hurt yourself.

No one's ever going to love you.

Everyone in your family is depressed and there's no cure.

So first I have a look at where they got these beliefs,

Because that's the most interesting thing.

Because most people will say,

Well,

I've always been like that.

And I say,

No.

No baby is terrified of flying.

No baby has a belief that there isn't enough food because in the womb there's loads of food.

So the first thing is to show them this is acquired and that's very good news.

Because since you acquired it,

You can be free of it.

And then at the same time as understanding where they got this is looking at the language they use that keeps that belief going and how they've made it all so familiar and then starting to change it.

But it's not subtle change.

It's immediate change.

It's very quickly getting the brain to give up this behavior.

And even with tiny children at work.

So I was working with a little boy of just five who had eczema.

And I was talking to him about if eczema was your friend,

I know that's a weird thing.

And his response was immediately,

Well,

When mommy puts that cream on me,

She doesn't put any cream on that baby.

And there was a kid who at five a new baby was born and the mother was very into the baby massage and spent a lot of time massaging this baby.

And this little kid just said,

I want mommy to put cream on me.

That's not fair.

And she never puts cream on me.

And in no time at all,

He got eczema and then she got a lot of cream on him.

And you and I would think,

Well,

That's just too simple to be true.

But that's why it's so good because it's so simple.

How do you uncover a belief like that?

Well,

With adults,

I do something called role function purpose.

And I literally ask the mind to take them back to the role function and purpose of the behavior or something they've got.

And I had a girl with Crohn's disease and she went right back to a scene where she was in a car with her best friend's husband,

Obviously having sex with him.

And then the next scene where she was leaving town with her best friend's husband,

Her mom was begging her not to go,

But she went.

And then when I asked her why she had the Crohn's,

She said,

I've hurt my friend so much and I hurt my parents so much and I need to hurt myself now to feel that pain.

And I don't deserve to be happy because look what I did to everyone else.

And you know,

People used to wear hair shirts and beat themselves in the street because they understood the need to atone.

I don't think she needed to atone.

She made a mistake.

She was a young girl.

But our mind is very good at becoming a judge and a juror and meeting out of punishments.

And we'll say,

You know,

I don't deserve to be happy because I did something so bad.

So with adults,

You actually ask them to go back to the time when they got this ailment and then you have them say under hypnosis,

Because it's harder out of it,

What is the role of this illness?

Why is it there?

And the stuff they come up with is extraordinary.

Even for them,

They say,

Wow,

I never really got that.

But it does actually make perfect sense.

So for the RTT,

For the rapid transformation,

For this process,

Hypnosis is a part of that?

A huge part,

Yeah.

A huge part of rapid transformation is hypnosis.

Hypnosis takes you back.

Because,

You know,

If you walk around and go,

I don't know why I do this.

I guess I'm just messed up.

When you can go,

Oh,

I see why.

And now I'm able to let go of it because you've given me this great recording that is hardwiring me and programming and compelling me to let go of it.

It's really exciting.

And it's actually called neuroplasticity.

So a neurosurgeon will look at neural pathways in the brain and try and interrupt them.

If you had an arm that didn't work and you went to the PETA Institute in Hungary,

They might take your arm and move it up and down like that like thousands and thousands of times because they're trying to fire off a new neural pathway in the mind.

But in fact,

You can actually change neural pathways by changing your thinking.

You can actually command the mind to give up certain beliefs and to replace new ones.

And we know that,

You know,

If you put a drug addict into rehab and actually get them off drugs,

Their whole neural pathways change if you do it correctly.

So RTD is a form of neuroplasticity.

It creates new neural pathways and simultaneously disables old neural pathways.

And there are many ways of changing those pathways.

But RTD is a very fast way of doing it.

And it is quite permanent.

So in order to get the benefits from RTD,

Then does one need to be able to be hypnotized?

And I don't know much about hypnotism.

Well,

You know,

Everyone is hypnotized every day.

If you drive home on autopilot,

You're hypnotized.

If you're so deeply into a phone with the phone rings and you go like that,

Everyone can be hypnotized.

So that's it.

Being hypnotized is easy.

We're all suggestible.

Many of us just give ourselves terrible suggestions.

But the real skill is what to do with someone in hypnosis.

How do you go back and find those scenes?

Well,

That's easy.

But the skill is now I'm a detective.

I've got to put those scenes together.

I've got to gather information and make sense of it.

And I used to long ago do that for the client.

I go,

Look,

You do that because of that.

And most of them would go,

Yay.

Oh,

Absolutely.

That's amazing.

But some would go,

No,

I don't think so.

And then I realized that if I let the client work it out and go,

Okay,

We looked at these three scenes and we looked at you today,

And those scenes are why.

You tell me.

They come up with the most profound stuff and they go,

Wow,

Yeah,

I can see.

I was working with a girl the other day who was bulimic.

And she was saying that she was four and her dad had left,

But he'd sent her little packages of sweeties or you call candy.

And she would have to hide them and she'd eat them out.

And she said,

I know my dad must love me because he sends me the candy.

I think he hasn't forgotten me because he sends me the candy.

And to this day,

She hides food from her husband and eats it really slowly in secret to feel love.

It's kind of interesting that your dad left and didn't really see you,

But the one thing he did was to send you candy.

And your mind has got this belief that candy makes me feel loved.

So when your husband's away,

You go into the kitchen and get your secret stash of candy and eat it all out,

Just like when you were five,

But you're not five.

And how lovable yours got nothing to do with your dad or whether he loved you or not.

You're still lovable.

And she'd had 35 sessions in hospital for this bulimia.

And she said to me,

That's it.

She was on my training course.

I saw her every day for two weeks.

Every day she said,

You know what?

I'm just eating normally.

I'm not eating sugar.

I'm eating proper food now.

And I've realized when I go to see my dad,

He opens the fridge and he goes,

Look what I bought for you because I love you.

Look at all this food I want.

And she's like,

I'm going to say to him,

Dad,

I want to have a relationship with you where I feel you love me and it's got nothing to do with food.

She said,

Because I never realized that he keeps it going as well.

It sounds like in almost every case,

There's some event in the past.

Is that the case?

It's always event driven?

Yeah,

Always event driven.

I mean,

Events can turn up when someone is 18 or 20,

But nearly always it's an event in the past during formative years.

So talking about infertility again,

I worked with another girl who couldn't get pregnant and she remembered her little brother was born with haemophilia and they obviously told the mother,

Take him home,

But you probably got two weeks with him.

He can't live.

And she remembered this when the mother was feeding the baby and the baby literally died.

They all got in the hospital,

The car,

And went to the hospital and the baby died.

The mother was just a nervous wreck after that.

And she said,

I remember saying,

I'm never going to have a baby because they just die.

And she couldn't get pregnant because of this memory that was,

They're not fleeting,

They're fixed beliefs.

They get fixed in the mind,

These fixed beliefs that people hurt you or that doesn't work.

So the event translates into some belief.

Is that right?

The event happens and then you interpret that event and then that forms into a belief that.

.

.

You have to have a scared child and an event and then it becomes a fix.

When you're on the beach with your kid and this huge dog runs up and starts barking at them or almost grabs their t-shirt in their teeth and the child is so scared.

If the adult's scared as well,

Now is the fix belief,

Dogs are terrifying.

And you get people who are terrified of chihuahuas and then you got other who live on a farm and go,

Well,

Dogs are wonderful.

They're man's best friend.

It's not the dog,

It's the belief.

There's an imprint when a child is scared and if the adult is scared as well,

There is now an imprint that I can't do anything about this.

What about someone's in a state of depression or let's say someone has a recent trauma,

A loss of a loved one and there's just this immense sadness that is now becoming day to day more permanent and the person's not progressing.

Are you with me?

Oh yeah.

Is this applicable or does it need to be some type of.

.

.

No.

Again,

A lot of people have what's called learned helplessness.

I'll give you a better scene.

You're a little kid of five who watches dad hit mom or watches mom counting out the money from her purse and she hasn't got enough to pay the bills and she's crying and the child thinks,

I've got to fix this,

But I can't,

But I must,

But I can't.

And then they acquire this learned helplessness,

Which I can't fix things.

I can't make things better.

And they go through life with the same belief,

It often links into depression.

I can't make anything better.

I don't know how to get more money.

I can't stop men treating me badly.

And it's the helplessness because some of them would go,

Well,

This guy is hitting me.

I'm out of here.

I don't need to put up with that.

There's a million more out there.

Or they'd go,

Well,

This job isn't working,

But I find a better one.

But if you've grown up with learned helplessness,

You can't see your way out of it,

Which is one of the things that's under depression.

Depressed people say there's no cure.

You can't get better.

And anyway,

I don't deserve it.

Even if there was a cure,

I don't deserve to get better.

So depressed people,

You have to peel away their beliefs.

It's no good putting them on pills if they have a fixed belief that says there's no cure.

And even if there was,

It wouldn't work for me because I don't deserve it.

And that's why you have to peel away these beliefs and extract them.

Got it.

So for our audience,

And we've got business people and a lot of people in tech and careers,

And they're going through either a change or there may be a businessman who's lost a business or there's been some kind of business failure.

And there's that discouragement or what have you.

Or there's people that are listening that really want to start a business,

But there's a fear.

Well,

There's a way to get what you really want,

And that is to dialogue with yourself.

So,

You know,

We're all taught,

We're beginning to be taught now in schools,

If you want to succeed at business,

You've got to have these great communication skills.

You want to have a long marriage,

You better have these great communication skills.

But no one teaches you,

You know what?

You better communicate with yourself.

As if you want your own business,

You know,

I'll give you an example,

Years ago,

I got a lot of money to write a book.

It was a huge amount of money.

My first thought was,

Oh my God,

I'm going to sit in the house on my own.

I'm only 28.

I've got to write by myself.

I can't go out.

Everything negative.

You know,

I didn't think,

Wow,

I've got all this money.

I'm going to write a book.

I'm going to get,

I kept thinking,

What if people hate it?

And it gets terrible reviews.

Of course,

I'm not that same person now,

But I realized the only way I could write that book was to start going,

This book's amazing.

Everyone's going to love it.

How lucky am I?

But you know,

Often people go,

Right,

I'm going to go home and I'm going to design my website all weekend.

And they think,

Oh,

That's not fair.

I want to watch TV.

I want to go to a bar.

I want to go out.

And then the mind has a belief,

Which is,

You don't want to work on that website at all.

You don't want to find yourself tidying up your sock drawer or emptying out your email.

Because if you don't,

Yeah,

If you don't- You read my mind.

Yeah.

If you don't sage your mind,

I want it.

I've chosen it.

I like it.

And you say instead,

Oh,

It's so unfair.

It's like people who succeed at,

Vegans never say,

It's so unfair.

I can't eat bacon.

It's not right.

My friends can eat bacon and I can't.

I'm going to try really hard to resist bacon.

They go,

I would never eat bacon.

It's a living animal.

Plus,

It's a pig.

But people who succeed,

People who succeed at going to the gym,

Eating healthy food or running a business,

You'll find that they say,

I love work.

I would do this for nothing.

I'd work on my day off.

Richard Branson never says,

Oh my God,

How hard it is to run all these companies.

Because I love it.

I mean,

I love my job so much that I consider myself blessed.

You probably would find that plenty of a great song like Lenny Kravitz wouldn't say,

Oh,

It's so hard to sit in my house in the Bahamas and write songs.

Some people do.

If you look at someone like George Michael and Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse,

They always looked at what was wrong and not what was right.

But if you dialogue with yourself and go,

I want it.

I've chosen it.

For instance,

If you happen to see some Marines training,

How many of them do you think would go,

This is unfair.

This is hurting my feet.

It's raining.

I don't like it.

I could be at home watching Game of Thrones now.

They chose that,

Right?

They sing.

They signed up.

I'm a Marine.

Bring it on.

I don't care.

Bring on the rain.

And they send a message to their brain which goes,

I like this and I've chosen it.

So they dialogue very well.

My husband was running the New York Marathon and he started up and there was these Marines with backpacks on with half their body weight in them.

And they were way behind him.

He said he was about 18 miles and he said,

I can't do it.

I cannot finish this marathon.

And he got out his phone and he was just about to ring a friend and say,

Please,

Could you help me?

I'm about to pull out.

And he said they all went straight past him singing,

We're Marines.

And he said to himself,

Wow,

If they can do it with half their body.

And he just carried on.

In fact,

He ran with them for the rest of the race.

He sort of became a Marine by osmosis.

He got right next to them and he sang with them.

He said it was the best for eight miles because he did what they did.

He started singing and believing he was Marine without the backpack.

And he finished the marathon because he changed his beliefs so quickly from this is horrible and I'm in pain to if they're doing it with half their body weight on their backpack,

Then I'm doing it without.

You're saying you can improve your life by watching the dialogue or changing the dialogue you're having with yourself.

Yeah,

Change it.

Make it really good.

And I guess we get in tune with the resistance that we're having,

Which tells us that we're probably saying the wrong things for ourselves.

Is that right?

So let's imagine you're in a restaurant and there's a menu and I'm going to pretend this bit of paper is a menu and you look at the menu and you go,

Oh my God,

They have pizza and chocolate chip cheesecake and three cooked fries.

But I got to eat salad and I got to eat lettuce and rabbit food.

Because you're focusing on what you can't have,

You want it more.

But if you look at the same menu and go,

Yeah,

That's all lovely,

But I'm choosing the vegetables because I'm choosing to be healthy.

Your mind actually,

When you deny yourself something,

The resistance goes up.

It's like saying,

I mustn't eat chocolate.

I mustn't eat chocolate.

I can't have chocolate.

All you can think about is chocolate.

When you say,

I'm choosing to eat apples because I want to fit into my clothes and live an extra 20 years,

Your mind is now with you because you're dialoguing with it very sensitively.

You're saying,

I'm choosing to eat fruit rather than dessert.

I'm choosing to be healthy.

If you go,

I can't have the dessert.

I got to eat this boring lettuce and it's not fair.

Your mind actually starts to increase the desire for the chocolate because you've told it you want it,

But you're not allowed it.

Rather than,

Of course I'm allowed it,

I'm choosing to say no to it.

So I'm assuming then you're a believer in affirmations.

It's a form of affirmation,

Right?

No,

I don't.

I don't like affirmations.

I like statements of truth.

I don't like this,

Oh,

Life's a wonderful walk in the park and the sun's always shining because it really isn't.

It's often raining and cold and miserable.

But I'm a belief in saying,

I would never say life's a walk in the park.

I'd say I have phenomenal coping skills.

I've got such extraordinary coping skills that when it rains,

It just doesn't affect my day because I'm a positive person or I'm happy by nature.

So I find affirmations to go,

Every day the sun is shining or life's a walk in the park are very confusing to people because not really quite true.

What's true is to say,

When I'm around traffic,

I just take time for myself.

I'm always saying I want time for myself.

When I'm on an airplane,

I tell myself the most dangerous part of a journey is the car ride to the airport.

The safest bit is the plane.

So I would use statements rather than affirmations that are based on truth.

So if someone says to me,

I'm terrified of spiders,

I go,

Well,

They're terrified of you.

But they get into a tiny little wall when you come near them and they're much more scared of you.

So I try to use something more relevant than affirmations.

So where does Marisa Peer go when she needs help?

Because I'm so good at dialoguing with myself because I don't really get into that.

I don't actually need help.

I have a wonderful marriage,

A great daughter.

I love my job so much that I'll probably do it until I'm 102.

You know,

I have great friends.

If I needed help,

I've got quite a few friends who do reflexology and healing.

So I do massage and yoga and Pilates because I like to unwind.

I eat really healthily,

But that's easy for me because every time I look at things like jelly beans,

I just say,

Well,

That's just poison disguised as food.

So that would be an affirmation and I could eat it,

But I choose not to.

So I have my moments,

But they don't last very long.

You're using the same techniques that you're treating your.

.

.

Yeah.

You can't teach this stuff and not do it because it's so profound that I don't think anyone could do it and not teach it.

And anyone could teach it and not do it because it's so amazing that you just would never teach this and not do it because you see the benefits constantly.

Is long talk therapy,

Is that outdated,

Marisa,

Or is it still useful?

Some people like it because some people like a lot of support.

They like to go back every week and talk to the therapist and have the therapist support them.

But it certainly is not as attractive as it was.

I think my generation,

We can't even wait for the circle to go around on the website.

We just go,

Oh,

That's not how I go to another one.

My generation,

You can't even wait for our phones.

If I'm waiting for my phone to charge,

I go onto my iPad and then I go onto my laptop and then I go back.

.

.

Because we're a generation that will not wait for anything.

Because we've been raised like that.

We have like 89 choices of TV.

So I don't think the generations coming up have got the patience for long therapy because it's such a fast world that they don't like that.

Everything has to be very quick.

So Marisa,

If someone wants to seek out help using this modality,

The rapid transformation therapy,

Are there therapists that you've trained in the United States?

Yeah.

In fact,

I'm doing my next training in California,

In Los Angeles on the 19th of November,

Which is really exciting.

But if you go to marisapier.

Com,

Find a therapist.

We have therapists all over the world,

Across America,

Australia,

All over Europe.

And also a lot of them,

We train them to do this on Skype and Zoom.

So you don't even have to go to a therapist.

You can sit up and bed in your pajamas and do your RTT.

And many people like that too,

Because now if you have a startup and you work from home and have to commute into the city to see a therapist and give up three hours of your time,

It's really not as desirable as it once was.

But doing it at home in your own hours where you can still pick up deliveries and be there when your kids come home from school is actually very nice.

Are there any other resources or books that one could acquire for some sort of self-help?

Yes.

I have a great book called,

God,

It's a terrible one.

It's called Uncompromised Life and a program called Unlimited Confidence.

And my confidence book is actually,

It's almost like a textbook of how to do this yourself.

So you'd find that very,

Very useful.

And that's Unlimited Confidence?

Yeah.

You can get it on Amazon,

Unlimited Confidence by Marisa Peer.

Okay.

And it covers some of the things that we talked about.

Yeah.

And then I have a program called Uncompromised Life.

If you go to my website,

Just go to marisapier.

Com because we give away loads of stuff.

We tend to give away some free audios every month,

Different titles.

At the moment,

We've got something called Wealth Wiring.

It's completely free and it wires you because if you've never had money,

And it sounds a weird thing,

But I work with lottery winners who get rid of all of it because if that need to create what's familiar,

We have another one.

We have a self-esteem mini course.

It's completely free.

So go to marisapier.

Com and we make a point of giving away free programs every month on different subjects.

This is great.

Marisa,

Thank you so much for doing it.

You're so welcome.

And also,

We just talked before we started,

You're about to get into the LA school system,

Is that right?

Yeah.

It's really exciting.

We're doing RTT for unhappy adolescents and that's going into the North America school system really soon.

So it's really exciting.

We're also doing something for the jail system too.

So we've got a lot of stuff in the pipeline and when we give that away,

That's not for profit.

But we love that.

It's really nice to affect small children.

And when kids have high self-esteem,

They don't bully,

They don't act out and it makes such a difference to children when they feel good about themselves.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's very exciting.

And the training that you're offering,

Is this for professionals on November the 19th?

You said it's LA,

Right?

It's in Santa Monica.

It's on November the 19th it starts.

There's a little break for Thanksgiving in the middle.

We have actually people who'd love to be therapists and have no therapy background whatsoever come on the course.

We have therapists,

We have doctors and nurses.

We also have people like pilots and firemen.

We've had police officers.

We have lawyers.

We have so many people that come on our course and go,

I just want to do what you do.

Because the results are so profound and so immediate.

Wow.

That's very interesting.

Marisa,

Thank you so much again for joining us.

This has been great and I really appreciate your time.

You're very welcome.

Well,

That is all the time we have today.

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