4 Steps To Overcome Toxic Emotions & Improve Mental Health

Welcome to the breakdown to breakthrough podcast.

My name is Lisa a Romano.

I am a life coach best-selling author YouTube vlogger meditation teacher and expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse I am a believer in the power of an organized mind My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness Rather than living a reactive life May your heart feel blessed your mind feel expanded and your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the breakdown to break through podcast Namaste everybody Lisa a Romano here the breakthrough life coach and today I want to teach you about fear about attachments about going on resistance and how you can live in a higher state of Vibrations that allow you to experience much more love and light in your life So what we have to understand is that we are flesh beings But more than that,

We are vibrational beings that have come here to transcend the flesh Meaning that we've come here to overcome the earthly experiences that keep us stuck stuck out emotionally psychologically we can Pigeonhole ourselves in life by thinking a thought that is out of alignment with what we really are So when you know that you are truly an emotional and vibrational being You are an energetic being that you are more energy than you are physical Then it might help you to think about yourself in those terms And when you are going up a tip up against a difficult time in your life It might be very very helpful for you to understand that you have come to overcome physical ideas and beliefs that keep you stuck and help you feel dank and Heavy you've actually come to merge with the light the light that you are So the goal for me is to be not attached because I understand that as a vibrational being I am Unattached I have the ability to take my mind and to take my perception as far as I want to take it and when I do That when I do it through visualization when I do it through intention when I do it through meditation when I Take my thoughts to higher realms when I take my heart my thoughts and I think higher type thoughts Healthier thoughts more freeing thoughts.

I'm able to experience a lightness in my body that a lot of people Can't and don't because they're not doing this type of mental work and this intentful work They're not governing their minds on purpose And so what happens is you will get caught up in earthly ideas you will get caught up in illusions You will get caught up in materialism,

And if you're not very careful you'll believe in them,

Too the other thing that I wish that people would understand is that everything that you experience every emotion is a teacher Everything that you feel has been meant to be embraced It has not been meant to push away and to deny and to suppress and to judge everything every feeling that you experience is sort of Here to teach you about where you are where what is where your conscious mind is?

Where you are flowing your attention,

Which is everything remember?

What you give your attention to is usually what will grow and what will expand and what you're trying to control Usually gets worse right it's sort of like somebody who has acne and They're freaking out about their acne and they're trying to control their acne and they're washing their face so much then all of a sudden Their face is dried out so now not only are they having these breakouts But now they also have a lot of dry skin which is making them more uncomfortable more irritated more itchy And so what happens then you try to control it more more creams more makeup and here we go Just trying to control this situation There's a lot of fear and there's a lot of resistance And there's a lot of beating the drum of this thing that you don't want and lo and behold it gets worse,

Right?

So if we just take that analogy and we imagine that we have come to overcome and become non-resistant So that we can live in the flow and that's really hard to do because that means that you have to accept What's showing up,

But when you understand that everything is transient everything that you experience is temporary?

Everything that you're experiencing you're experiencing For the opportunity to transcend it and to let go of it so that you don't have to feel stuck in your body With your thoughts in your mind so that you don't have to be controlled by anything or anyone I can tell you that for me.

I don't want to be controlled by anyone or anything and I realized years ago that When I thought someone was controlling me what was really happening was I was I was controlling myself I felt controlled by this subconscious programming by this codependency I was controlled by living below the veil I was in loops of ideas and loops of beliefs and I was doing the same things over and over and over So I was stuck with the same type of people having the same types of conversations So it looked like they were controlling me.

But what was really controlling me was the way I was looking at the situation when I learned to Become more non-resistant when I learned to have tea with my fear when I learned to have tea with anger When I learned to say anger,

What are you trying to teach me?

What am I afraid of?

Why am I afraid of that?

What am I trying to control?

What do I need to transcend when I started looking at my emotions in that light?

Embracing them like I would friends That's when my mind began to shift when I understood that when I was going through my divorce And I was afraid to get divorced and I was begging my ex-husband to change.

Please do this and please do that.

I Realized that I was putting all my power outside of me and the illusion was if your ass Changes right if you change then I can stay here and then I don't have to face my codependency I don't have to face I am NOT enough.

I don't have to face living on my own I don't have to face becoming completely responsible for how I feel and Completely responsible for the energy people that I have in my life.

I didn't have to face any of it if my ex-husband changed And then I realized that in that whole dynamic It was me being controlled by me.

It was a thought a fear a linchpin and Attachment the fear of letting go the fear of what might be it was me Believing that I was supposed to stay stuck I was supposed to not change and that's wrong We've come to transcend and the power to transcend is within us But we have to learn how to transcend the thoughts that are in our head So that we can cut these psychic cords and sometimes karmic cords to generations from the past If you're the grandchild of an alcoholic you have been affected by perhaps people you've never met And so there are cords that you need to cut and it all starts with Understanding that the goal is to become not attached The goal is to have love and light move into your body.

The goal is to raise your vibrations Because when you go toe-to-toe with a dynamic that you don't appreciate you don't win you get stuck It's when you let go You can transcend and when you're up here you're in the higher vibrational frequencies.

That's where magic can happen That's where doors open and that's where true change can take place But going toe-to-toe with the dynamic that you're not happy about is not going to help you ascend it and you've come to ascend So what I want to do is I want to offer you some some steps So the first thing that you want to do is you want to identify your fear?

So go ahead take out a piece of paper and ask yourself.

What are my top three fears right here right now?

The second thing you want to do is you want to identify the attachments you have to those fears So it sounds like this.

Why do I fear that?

Why do I fear my ex-husband cheating on me?

Why do I fear?

Not taking care of my mom anymore.

Why do I fear going no contact with my sibling?

What am I afraid of and so you write those things down figure out what you're attached to the third step?

Is you're going to be very very honest with yourself and ask yourself.

What am I trying to control?

What am I trying to control and what you'll probably discover is that you're trying to control things you can't control So let's say you you are afraid of going no contact with your sibling Okay,

And you identify that going no contact with your sibling you're attached to or you're afraid of what people are going to say about you So then the third step is what am I trying to control?

I'm trying to control what people say about me Once you identify what you're trying to control the fourth step is to try to let go of that thing you're trying to control Because you can't control anything or anyone outside of you and that's not where your energy is going to be used very wisely Your energy is going to be used wisely when you're focusing on what you can control when you're governing your own mind When you're paying attention to what you do and what you think and so if you're worried about what people think about you in my Opinion that falls under the umbrella of codependency.

I'm trying to control what you think about me So I'm going to stay small and not be super responsible for how I feel and not be super Responsible for the energy that you bring into my life Which is toxic and I'm not going to tell the truth because I'm afraid of what you're going to say about me And then I might be chastised or Excommunicated from this circle of friends or family and then I will feel alone and then I will feel this attachment trauma I will feel Exasperated I will feel depressed and despondent because I'm so alone so that's what a lot of people are afraid of but the truth is that we're never really alone and We're never alone because we're connected to everything So it's this feeling that we're connecting to and this idea and these beliefs that When other people are talking to us,

We're not alone If you come from a dysfunctional home and you have people gaslighting you if you have been narcissistically abused if you're the adult child of a narcissist or the child of an alcoholic if you have passive-aggressive Family members and you're hanging out with them and you think that because you're with them physically You're connected to them in a healthy way.

You're not you're not and It is healthier for you to see that and let that go so that you can begin flying high in a higher state of consciousness and higher states of vibrational frequencies and you increase your chances Exponentially of pulling people into your experience are actually good for you But you want to identify the fear identify what you're attached to identify what you're trying to control and the fourth step is work on Doing what you can to let those things go and to let go of those attachments the one idea that really helps me is that I Understand that my goal is to be as non attached as possible To be as non resistant to everything that happens in my experience So that nothing can nail me against the wall.

Nothing can nail me to the wall So that means that if people dislike me if people say mean things about me,

I have to be non-resistant I've worked myself to a point where I can say I'm sorry you feel that way namaste.

You're entitled to your opinion It's not my job to control what you think about me,

And I'm not coming from a narcissistic place I'm coming from a state of peace and love and acceptance of you and your opinion and an acceptance of love for myself because I'm not responsible for how you see me and People who are below the veil are always projecting so somebody who isn't resonating in a very high frequency I accept that They could be projecting some lack in themselves onto me or onto you or onto someone else.

It's extremely extremely difficult Extremely and it is a warrior's path to be aware of something that's happening in the external environment and to become non-resistant to it and to not want to control it and To accept that it's there and then to do what you can to be non-resistant to what's happening So remember that you are enough you are enough Remember that hanging on to people who treat you treat you like you're nothing does nothing But rob your soul of the magic and the beauty that is the awakened life Know that people are permitted to have their opinions of you,

And you don't have to meet them there You can always send them love and light lift them up in love and light Hope that they wake up And you can always raise yourself up in love and light and know that at your core you are absolutely Divine and perfect and that you have you have come and you have incarnated to transcend all and in this life experience If you become conscious enough if you allow your mind to have its awareness More in the prefrontal lobe and the neocortex cortex than the amygdala,

Then you can actually overcome triggers You can overcome faulty belief systems,

And you can create heaven on earth you really really can so namaste dear ones Remember that there is a divine light inside of you There's a divine light in everybody but not everybody has that light turned on and you need you need conscious and deliberate Free will and thought to turn the light on in yourself and if other people aren't turn that light on we have to accept that and We have to lift them up in our own thoughts and then Let them go in love and light and raise them up in love and light and then we have to focus on ourselves And we have to transform these thoughts in our head until they're in alignment with non-resistance And love and light that's what we have to do,

And it's not easy,

But it can be done namaste dear ones I bow to the love and the light that is Absolutely in you bye for now