Hello and welcome to day six of a 30-day experiment of living from love rather than fear.
My name is Liz Scott and every day I'm recording a daily diary of something that has struck me as I make my way through life living from a place of love rather than fear.
And today I'm going to share what it was like to suddenly fall into a rabbit hole of a negative thinking pattern.
What do you do when things don't go according to plan?
It seems ironic that yesterday I was reminded of seeing love as the essence and core of everything.
And yet today I am back being human,
Getting caught up in stories of right and wrong,
Good and bad.
Today I found myself caught up in a thought loop of a story that was both draining and frustrating and irritating.
I want to share this because whilst I was in the middle of the thought storm,
I remembered to reflect on responding from a place of love rather than fear.
It took a while for the story to go,
But it did go eventually.
Let me take you back to the beginning.
Earlier today,
My friend got hold of me and she suggested I communicate something to a mutual group of friends.
It was something that she obviously wanted to communicate,
But for some reason she thought it best if it came from me.
This sounds pretty innocuous,
Doesn't it?
However,
It didn't land as a simple request that I could either say yes or no to.
Instead,
It was like a firework display of emotions took over and hijacked my mind.
A series of thoughts rattled angrily in my head.
Why does she always get me to do things for her?
If she wants to communicate this,
She should do it herself.
She never takes responsibility.
My mind became so noisy with all these indignant,
Self-righteous thoughts,
It disrupted my whole day.
I just couldn't get it out of my head.
So it was a lot of unsettledness and a lot of frustration,
All because of a simple request from my friend to say something to a group of mutual friends.
The blessing is that I'm experimenting from living from a place of love rather than fear.
So this means I keep reminding myself during the day.
And when things like this arise,
Feelings of frustration or anxiety or irritations,
I just keep reminding myself to ask,
What would love do?
And because I'm reminding myself of living from love rather than fear,
Today I began to realize that all that was happening is I was having a very natural,
Normal human experience.
And also that because I was coming from a place of love,
I could remind myself that there was something much more nourishing available.
Over the years of exploring the three principles,
And if you're interested in the three principles,
I've got an introduction to the three principles on Insight Timer.
But over the years of exploring the three principles,
I've learned a few things about thought storms.
So here are the three things I've learned about thought storms.
Firstly,
There is no need to panic.
Thought storms are part of being human.
Secondly,
A thought storm will endeavor to point the finger of your disquiet at something outside of yourself.
However,
I know never to trust a thought storm and what or whom it is pointing the finger at.
And thirdly,
The best response to a thought storm,
One that's full of blame and frustration,
The best response is to ignore it.
Don't fuel it further.
And because I was reminding myself to live by love rather than fear,
I didn't get tempted to dive into the story.
I didn't panic.
I didn't blame or berate myself for having these feelings.
I realized from a place of love that unsettled feelings and thinking are just part of the human experience.
I also knew not to blame my friend.
However much it looked like she was to blame,
I didn't get seduced into overthinking or analyzing or trying to sort things out in my mind or getting hold of her or communicating any of the clever retorts and conversations I had practiced and rehearsed in my head.
I just knew not to feed the story.
And instead,
I listened to love.
And love nudged me to go for a walk.
The clouds were dark and gray and there was a storm brewing.
I could hear distant thunder rumbling.
The weather seemed to suit my mood as I walked and found a meditative rhythm.
After the walk,
I noticed that the intensity of that irritated feeling,
That frustrated feeling,
The intensity was lessening.
And during the afternoon,
I kept looking within myself,
I kept reminding myself of living from love.
And each time my thoughts started to rear up,
I brought my attention back to love.
Later on in the evening,
I'd actually forgotten all about the incident and then I suddenly remembered it again.
And when I remembered it,
I started laughing.
I laughed at the story I had made up.
And I laughed at myself for getting so caught up in that story.
It just seemed so small and insignificant.
So what have I learned today?
I've learned that when I remember to live from love rather than fear,
It doesn't mean that my angst or frustrations or irritations instantly vanish.
But what it does mean is that I know what to engage with and what not to engage with.
I don't engage with the story,
I engage with love.
It's a reminder to look within.
I'm curious to know how you're getting on,
So do let me know how you're getting on with this experiment of living from love rather than fear.
Even if you're just trying it out for the day,
I'd love to know how it goes.
