Lucid Dreaming, Creativity & Mindfulness In Performing With Helen Denham | Ep. 19

In this episode of the Project Mindfulness podcast,

You will learn about lucid dreaming,

Creativity,

And mindfulness in performance.

Welcome to the Project Mindfulness podcast.

We'll take you on a journey across the globe and talk with other meditators about their practice,

The lessons they have learned,

And what they want the world to know.

Good day and welcome.

This is episode 19 and I am Cristian Netoson.

Thank you for joining us.

Today,

I talk with Helen Denham,

Who is a recording artist and writer.

We talk about her practice,

Her passions,

And her journey from the modeling world and struggling with her self-image to acceptance and stability.

Welcome,

Helen,

To the podcast.

Happy to have you here.

Thank you.

I'm so happy to be here.

Really cool.

So,

Helen,

Tell us a bit about yourself.

Who are you and what do you do in life?

Cool.

So I am living in New York City right now.

I do a lot of different things,

But I am primarily a singer-songwriter.

I go by Denham for that,

Which is my middle name.

I'm really active in the women's rights community,

Partnering up with UN Women to do fundraising for their Young Professionals Committee in the city.

I also work with a wellness company called Wellbuilt.

We throw basically social events for the health and wellness and mindful community a few times a week.

So I consider myself mostly a community builder in a few different aspects of my life,

But I really try to have everything blend so that it's kind of a simultaneous flow of what I do.

It all kind of balances out really nicely.

That's awesome.

So you're really involved with community building,

But also in combination with mindfulness.

Yeah,

Exactly.

I really make an effort to tie that into everything I do.

So whether it's writing lyrics that are a little bit more conscious,

I really try to make that a center point in my lyrics if I'm telling a story.

If I'm facilitating a discussion,

Really making sure that our discussion is positive and mindful and respectful and really comes back to the soul of why we're doing whatever we're doing,

Whether we're having a meeting or if that's throwing an event and connecting people to each other.

That's really what it's about,

Making sure that people can connect to each other and empathize and relate and really get down to that human level and that basis of who we are.

Yeah,

It makes a lot of sense.

I think mindfulness in combination with interaction with people is sometimes it can be harder,

But it's really great when you become aware of your emotions,

The emotions of others,

You become aware of the connection that is happening and the vibe.

I think it's really wonderful to use mindfulness in that specific area.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

I mean,

It can be difficult.

I'm an extrovert in certain scenarios,

But I'm also an introvert and I really have to make an effort to consciously think about how am I going to approach this person or make a meaningful connection without getting too inside of my head or being a wallflower because sometimes I do that,

Which is kind of ironic as a former.

But I really had to learn how to communicate with people in a way that analyzes kind of like,

What do they need from me or what can I offer them?

What are they looking for out of this experience?

Are they looking for an artistic inspiration?

Are they looking for just a friend or just somebody to listen to them or are they looking for advice?

So trying to,

Like you said,

Meet them on an emotional level,

Figure out where they are and then try to pick up on that emotion and match it for them.

Seems to help the most.

Seems to help the most.

Awesome.

Great game.

Yeah,

It sounds really interesting.

I heard a lot about the book from God,

I have to say his name,

Right?

I think it's Oren J.

Sulphur about mindful communication.

And that really got me interested into looking up more,

You know,

How mindfulness can be used in communication.

And it's the same for me with,

For instance,

The podcast.

When I talk to someone,

When I talk to you,

I also try to be aware of what I'm saying of my words,

And also try to listen to you fully instead of,

You know,

Doing 100 things at once,

It really becomes a mindful practice.

And I imagine,

For you,

For instance,

Performing or singing can also be a very mindful practice.

Is that correct?

Yeah,

Absolutely.

I mean,

It's very similar with,

You know,

Podcasting and interviewing somebody,

You have to be present and kind of thinking,

You know,

Consciously of like,

Where your audience is,

Where your interviewee is,

At the time,

But it's the same with performing for sure.

Like,

I really think it takes a certain amount of rehearsal to be able to get to that point of being that comfortable,

Though.

I think you've got to just rehearse so much that you it feels like second nature once you're on stage,

And that you can't have any distraction so that when you're finally up there,

You're not thinking about,

Oh,

What chord am I going to hit?

Or am I going to hit this note right?

Like it already flows and then you can put your attention on making a meaningful connection with the audience,

And being yourself and really expressing yourself fully instead of getting caught in your head about what the next right move might be.

Right.

Yeah,

You definitely do have to be mindful and breathe.

Like I always just kind of try to take a few deep breaths and just kind of go through a mantra inside of my head before I get on stage.

I just repeatedly say I love,

Honor and accept myself.

Because when you can reach a point where you really do love,

Honor and accept yourself,

You'll accept it from other people and I think be more comfortable with sharing an experience with them more authentically.

And I always just try to remind myself that the people there want you to succeed,

And they're there to support you.

Nobody's there to kind of shut you down or say like you're not good enough.

And I remind myself of that in pretty much every situation.

Like,

We're here to support each other.

And if I'm ever in a circumstance that doesn't feel like that,

I'm not going to be there.

So right.

Yeah,

It definitely is a mindful practice to get up there.

Yeah,

And it's also for me when I use my voice,

When talking,

There's a lot of breathing exercises almost going on to I imagine also when you want to hit certain notes or you when you want to,

You know,

Do a certain part that is a little bit harder,

You really have to be conscious of your breathing and how you use your body even.

And I remember from other singers that I know that they there's a lot of emphasis on this when you train and learn how to sing is how to use your body,

Your chest,

Your belly,

All the breathing.

And I imagine that's that's also very mindful practice while doing it.

Yeah,

I mean,

It's it's a really interesting way to get to know your body.

You know,

Almost like an athlete or a dancer would or anybody that has to be really physical in their profession,

Because you've really kind of got to scan your body and say,

Oh,

Where does the breath hit?

And what is breath?

And like,

Why does this make such a difference?

But they really have to breathe deep into your belly to kind of get your body ready to like project.

If you breathe shallow,

You're going to come out with like a weak sound.

So you really do have to breathe deeply expand your lungs.

My voice coach used to have me like do yoga on the floor while singing arias just to keep that flow going and learn how to move while making sound,

Which was a whole different thing.

But you really do have to get in touch with your body.

And I find that that's so important,

Just in general to really be in tune with how your body's feeling.

And I like to kind of talk to my body as a is its own entity almost like if I'm feeling off or I'm feeling a little sick,

Like the seasons are changing right now.

And I'm getting a little sniffly.

So I'll ask my body,

What do you need from me?

And just like,

Listen for that answer.

And it'll say it'll like my body will kind of communicate with me,

It'll say,

Hey,

You need orange,

You need like vitamin C,

You need to drink green tea,

Or you need to fast for a few hours,

Or,

You know,

And I feel like once you kind of get into that intonation with your body,

Where you really understand what it needs,

Like,

You can really work harmoniously.

And when I'm not breathing,

And I'm not conscious of that,

That's when I don't treat my body with enough respect.

So I might not eat as well,

Or I might not exercise as much.

But when I really find out how to communicate with my body as its own entity,

It serves me so much better.

Yeah.

And can I then assume that before you got into singing,

And before meditation and mindfulness came up,

Did you feel disconnected from your body?

Is that correct?

Was there a time where you felt like that?

Yeah,

You know,

I really did.

And,

And I think as a woman,

Especially like,

I'm realizing this just because I've had so many conversations with other women who have been through the same thing,

But you kind of can experience this sense of body dysmorphia,

When you really start to get exposed to heavy media for the first time and ideas of what your body's supposed to look like.

And it's not just women,

It's absolutely men too.

And I had this disconnect with my body for a long time and not really respecting it and being like,

Kept telling myself,

You're not good enough unless you're this certain weight and your skin looks like this and your hair looks like this.

And it really took me,

I mean,

I was in the modeling world.

So through all of that,

All of those years while I was in college,

Like,

That was still a problem for me really figuring out how to love myself when I'm being told I have to look a certain way.

So it was completely mindless.

And finally,

When I really got into a stronger meditation practice and learn to love myself is when I finally was like,

I was able to not only apologize to myself,

I think there's a really nice practice.

I think in Hawaiian is called Hana Pana Pana,

I hope I'm pronouncing it right.

But it's like,

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Or,

You know,

In some kind of order like that.

So it's really the act of apologizing to yourself for the pain that you've put yourself through.

Forgiving yourself,

Saying thank you for forgiving yourself and then saying I love you.

So I went through that kind of process through a couple of years of figuring out what I really needed forgiving myself for being hard on myself.

And learning how to nourish myself with not just food,

But with the people I was surrounding myself to the media I was consuming to what my daily habits looked like and really starting to rewire my brain and my kind of soul to figuring out who I really was again,

And giving up what no longer served me.

So finally,

I felt like my body was in harmony again.

And I had this mindful connection there.

But it definitely is a practice.

Yeah.

And central also to practice of meditation is acceptance.

So as you said,

At a certain point,

You come to accept your body for what it is,

And all these aspects of your being for what it is.

And I think that's really beautiful.

But it's really hard,

As you said,

With the media and a lot of images of how things should be projected on us every day,

Through advertising to through marketing through,

You know,

Television,

There's a lot of projecting of how things should look or how things should be.

And getting free from that almost oppression of who you should be.

I imagine that's quite a struggle.

Yeah,

It's a struggle.

But I think it's a challenge that is so necessary for kind of meeting your highest self,

If you will.

And something that I think everybody's going to have to go through it in one way or the other,

Just to,

You know,

Kind of realize that,

Or trust that they know who they really are,

And learn how to be their authentic selves.

Because often when we get so busy,

It's hard to even remember,

Like,

Who are we really like,

Are we just a collection of what we're constantly seeing and,

You know,

Doing and wearing and like,

Who am I?

Am I the clothes I'm wearing?

Am I my profession?

And I think the beautiful thing about meditation and that practice is you're able to come back down,

Observe all of those thoughts,

Let them pass,

Watch them go,

See what your habits are,

And your thinking.

And then you reach like,

Oh,

I'm the person looking at this,

I'm the one observing this,

That's who I am.

In that place is unconditional love.

And when you come from that place of unconditional love,

Like things will start to manifest around you that only serve you for your highest good.

And you will attain the body that you've always wanted.

And you will get that,

You know,

Like,

Vibrance that you've been seeking,

For so long,

Or in my case,

I found that the more I loved myself,

And the more I hit that place,

The easier it was.

But it's something that takes daily practice.

So it's not like you just kind of meditate once and that's it.

It's like,

Every day,

You just got to check in with yourself and be like,

Hey,

How's it going?

Yeah,

Makes sense.

It's,

I remember when I started,

There was an app where you could check in and they ask you how you felt and you have to like check certain emotions.

And then you can choose which ones you,

You know,

Felt like and then they suggested a meditation.

And I thought it was so cool that you have this moment of checking in with yourself,

With your feelings,

With your thoughts,

And saying like,

Okay,

Where are we?

Yeah,

Cool.

And I think people just need kind of catalysts to help them get there.

And not only for meditation,

But like,

We're both musicians.

So I mean,

Do you find that when you're producing,

You can kind of get into that flow and you can be mindful and you can just kind of reconnect in that way?

Yeah.

And it's,

For me,

And personally,

The the opposite sometimes seems to happen that I,

Through music,

I get into such a flow through my hearing that I lose perspective of my body and its needs.

It's really,

So I really have to,

I'm still,

You know,

Working hard to train that mindfulness because for all the time I've been producing music,

I was used to getting in that flow,

And then neglecting my my body and my needs,

Just to work on the song,

You know,

The song was the highest ideal.

So for me personally,

It's really a mindfulness practice to not do that anymore.

Yeah,

Such a good point.

I definitely have known producer buddies that like,

Go for days without eating or like they don't go outside because they're like just on a song and,

And I yeah,

Definitely in that realm when you're kind of tweaking and mixing like that and going into the nitty gritty of it,

You definitely can get into this zone where,

Like time passes and you have no idea.

Yeah,

Yeah,

It's really crazy.

Anyway,

Now I'm wondering,

Like,

How do you get into that situation?

Anyway,

Now I'm wondering how and when did you stumble on meditation in your life?

Well,

You know what,

I,

I think I've been doing it for longer than I might give credit for because I was journaling and studying my dreams from a kid.

Like my mom would always get us up in the morning and we'd all go snuggle in together and we talk about our dreams.

Cool.

We're learning about our dreams and get into that observation state.

And she had,

You know,

Been studying with somebody to actually learn how to wake up in the dream and be conscious and start to control her dreams.

And so she would say,

You know,

One of the tricks is to write it down in your journal in the morning so that you don't forget it.

And if you can keep remembering it and then give yourself tools to wake up in the dream,

Like,

For example,

If you look at a clock in the dream,

And the numbers are still off,

And when you look back again and the numbers are still off,

You know,

You'll wake up like because you'll train yourself to do that.

So there were little things like that when I was a kid that were teaching me to be mindful in kind of unusual ways.

So through that,

I just started to journal a lot.

And then that turned into writing poems and music.

And my mom was always doing yoga around the house.

And we were just brought up in a family that was very aggressive.

It was really not aggressive.

I was very lucky to experience such like a loving family.

So that taught me to just be mindful and empathetic more.

But then I went through kind of like my angsty teen years,

And then finally started to do these visualization meditations that I was just finding on YouTube.

So I was using them to kind of like go to sleep better and like lose a dream more.

Because I was so into that,

But then it turned into,

Oh,

Like,

These are practices like where I can actually like get to know myself a lot better and visualize the highest self and then work toward that and reprogram my mind a little bit.

So it started there.

And then I would start to write down my own visualization practice and then record my own voice saying it so that I could get into my own head and it'd be myself speaking.

And then I made friends with people who were like,

I'll just say it,

We were like getting into psychedelics.

And that opened up my mind to this whole new world.

And honestly,

It was these were experiences that were unparalleled to anything I'd had,

But were experiences that were real authentic memories.

And just triggered this understanding of the world as this new,

Like kind of breathing being not just humans and animals,

It's just like,

Everything has life to it,

Even like the carpet and like everything has energy.

So my perspective started to change when I was like,

19 and 20 of just how everything is alive,

And how we interact with everything and then started to experiment with manifestation.

Once I started to realize that we're creating our own realities,

I started to experiment with that and be like,

Okay,

If this is what I want,

How do I line up with that energetic frequency to get that?

And that's when I started to listen to different teachers,

Like Abraham Hicks was one of them that really woke me up.

She basically channels this entity called Abraham.

Her name's Esther and she channels Abraham.

But she was just like,

Started to speak this kind of truth that I had never really been exposed to before.

I was like,

Oh my God,

She's saying everything that I've been wanting to hear and looking for.

So she kind of spurred that voyage into discovering more teachers.

So now I'm just loving like Shaman Durick,

Teal Swan,

Alexandra Roxo,

Sarah Delane,

Like,

There are just so many teachers and healers out there now that are wonderful resources for just getting you to that place and triggering more of an awakening.

That's kind of like a long story of how I started to get into mindfulness meditation.

That's really cool that you even did journaling when you were young for,

Yeah,

To actually encourage lucid dreaming.

Because it's something that,

That we're tribes,

I read,

I don't know which book it was,

But I read about lucid dreaming and creative dreaming,

And how to stimulate these creative dreams.

And they also talked about a certain tribe,

I forgot the name exactly of the tribe,

But they,

They always every morning with the family talked about what they dreamt and what it meant for them,

And not in a way of,

That it was predicting their future,

But more of,

They had a certain rules,

I think one of them was that you should always engage with what is happening.

So you should never,

You know,

Draw back or be fearful,

You should always engage and interact.

And I think,

From what I've been hearing you saying,

It sounds to me like there's a lot of connecting going on when you discovered meditation and mindfulness.

And there was a lot of connecting with your body,

A lot of connecting with even what you mentioned,

The carpet,

So to say,

The intimate objects around us,

There was a lot of connecting,

I think that's really cool.

Because that's also what you're still doing with the social activities that you're connecting.

It's really,

I really like that.

There's a red thread there.

Yeah,

There is.

And I think that,

You know,

Anybody who gets into this,

They can't help it.

And this is where our discussions just start to go.

I don't know if you've experienced the same thing.

But I like to talk about this stuff with people that I meet,

Because it just gets them to express themselves,

Perhaps in a new way,

If they're not familiar with meditation or mindfulness.

But yeah,

Like you were saying,

It's this connection that's formed before meditation.

I mean,

Disconnected in the way that like,

I was just kind of going through the motions and my mind and body and soul were separate.

Now it's like,

It's one unit,

And I've got to constantly kind of check in and,

And it's a practice of self love all the time.

And when I can be there for myself more,

I'm absolutely able to show up for my community in a better way.

And I definitely notice weeks when I'm not there because I haven't been practicing enough.

Right.

It's like the same with music.

If I don't rehearse enough,

I'm not going to be at the top of my game.

And the same with this.

So yeah,

I think it's an important thing for everybody to start doing.

And I think what's so cool about the age that we're living in is that we're experiencing this awakening,

Like globally.

And it's been really interesting to watch.

I'm curious to see how it's,

How it is in your part of the world in Berlin.

But I mean,

Even in New York City,

We're kind of following LA now,

And that yoga and meditation have become very trendy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that happening over there?

I suppose it is.

I mean,

Berlin,

Berlin is really an isolated place compared to the rest of Germany.

But in Berlin,

Yeah,

Yoga and meditation,

They're on there.

They're running well.

Yeah,

Yeah.

And I at first it was like,

Okay,

This is kind of annoying.

Everybody's running around in their Lululemon pants and like,

You know,

Trying to be kind of a guru or yoga.

And,

You know,

At some point I was like,

I don't care.

Like,

It's awesome that this is hitting me.

Mainstream and that people are making an effort to connect with themselves,

Get down to it and,

You know,

Just experiment with it.

And people just have questions now.

They're getting more curious about it.

So if that means it takes this moment to kind of go through this commercialism of it,

You know,

I support it because it's activating it and it's spurring conversations.

And I think once people get a taste of it,

They'll go deeper.

So it's been kind of a fun experience.

So it's been kind of cool to watch in the city as it happens.

And more things are popping up here and there.

Yeah,

Definitely.

I agree.

I think that especially when things like yoga,

Even if you go into a reason of like,

Oh,

I just want to improve my body or whatever.

It doesn't matter because if you practice enough,

You will get moments where you feel so connected with your body or feel so connected with the people around you or the earth,

Or whatever is coming up.

And that will just push you towards awareness and awakening,

Right?

It's like,

Yeah.

It's amazing what our bodies are capable of when they're like really activated like that,

Because we can experience these crazy natural highs.

And like,

I've definitely been drawn to tears just by having a nice stretch.

Like,

Because release all of like,

What I've found is that all of the disease or muscle pain or tension that we're holding in our body is directly correlated with emotion.

And there are more and more studies coming out about this,

About how all diseases literally dis-ease,

Dis-ease of the mind,

Like something is trapped there.

So I think that's what's so cool about yoga is that these places of tension and these places where you might be in pain,

If you can breathe through them and like,

Release emotion as you work through your body,

Like you can free that up.

And it's really interesting.

That's why I love like energetic healing and Reiki and just studying different pressure points in our body because each different part of our body holds different energetic frequency.

And that's when I,

You know,

Love to kind of get into chakras.

So I try to do meditations that will balance my chakras.

So if I'm feeling like I'm having money,

Like worries,

Or I'm not feeling safe,

Or I'm unstable,

Like I go to my root chakra and I say,

What do you need?

Like,

What basic needs are getting met?

And oftentimes,

If I'm feeling imbalanced in a certain chakra place in my body,

It absolutely correlates with an emotional discord that's going on in my life.

And once I work through that,

The pain is relieved,

Or whatever that is.

Right.

And I think the more that we can get in tune with that,

Like,

I'm kind of going off on a tangent right now.

But like this hope that our pharmaceutical world will get flipped so that people realize they're able to cure themselves.

Like,

All of these medicines and pharmaceuticals are like pacifiers to the symptom,

And they don't really get to the root cause of what is going on.

And I think people are really waking up more and more to that.

And they're taking their health into their own hands.

And they're not just listening to,

You know,

Like,

Okay,

This is what you have from the doctor.

And I think doctors are hopefully also getting better at listening to a patient when they come in and they say,

Hey,

This is what's up,

Like,

They listen.

Right.

Yeah.

And so coming from that,

What is your current practice?

Like,

If you get up in the morning,

Is there a certain routine or practice that you go through every day?

Yeah,

You know,

I'm trying to get better at that.

Because honestly,

I stay up so late that I will get up later,

Like 10,

1030 sometimes,

And I'd love to push that back so I can start to work with the sun rhythm.

Absolutely.

Like I have to sleep.

So I usually get up and like,

I kind of just like,

Take a minute and I try to not look at my phone if I can for the first 30 minutes and just have a big glass of water.

Come down,

Remember my dreams if I can,

Like have a moment with my boyfriend.

So just like it's a nice personal moment in the morning without like the craziness.

And then I try to take a little like walk in the morning and just like,

Get mindful,

Get get present,

Or whatever I can do to just tap into that before I start looking at all the simulation going on.

So anyway,

That I can just check in with myself and then set the intention for the day.

So I'll make a to do list.

And it's the top of the to do list is what's your intention for today?

How do you want to feel?

What can you work on to have fun?

And like,

That's always the goal is just have fun because you shouldn't be doing anything if it's not bringing your joy,

In my opinion,

Unless you're working through a challenge and you're learning from it.

But so yeah,

I really try to wake up with the intention of having fun for the day.

And what can I plan out to make sure that I'm there?

Because it's cool.

And fun and excitement is the key to being able to manifest.

And really draw what you want into your life effortlessly.

Because if you're on that frequency,

Like you're magnetic.

Right.

And so do you have a teacher at this moment?

Because you mentioned through the the healing practices that you discover different teachers that inspire you.

And is there one teacher or tradition that you really at this point follow or feel inclined to practice in?

The one I'm most curious about now is shamanism.

Shamandurak really introduced me to shamanism.

And he's got a great podcast called Ancient Wisdom Today.

And I found him like six months to a year ago.

So I've been following him,

But I don't really like to follow necessarily one line of teaching goods.

I think there's so much to be offered from every different kind of teaching.

It all comes back down to love for me and figuring out how to love more fully.

But there are different ways of kind of getting there and exploring this physical realm that we live in.

And I like shamanism because it gives me this sense of magic that exists.

And I love that.

I love feeling like we're not trapped in this kind of 3D space.

Like we're able to travel through different dimensions.

And that's where dreams really come in for me.

Because when you can wake up and be lucid in a dream,

You're literally like astral projecting.

And you're in a different plane.

And you're out of your body,

But you're conscious.

And shamanism relates to that.

They do a lot of dream work.

And also like,

Okay,

So at the end of the day,

Like,

Why is everybody so interested in whatever religion they're doing?

Meditation,

Mindfulness?

I think it's because we're all so curious about what's going to happen when we die.

And how can we transition easily through that?

And dream work has really gotten me to this place where I feel so comfortable,

Because I understand myself as this infinite energetic being.

Once you can realize that you're not stuck in your body,

And like your body is your shell,

And this is just kind of your awesome little home,

And you can travel outside of it.

That's when it's like,

Okay,

We have nothing to be afraid of.

And that's when it gets really exciting to experiment with.

So the teachings that I go for are ones that can bring me outside of my body after I've done that work to align everything.

Like,

Let's explore,

Let's try to astral project,

Let's get into that.

That's why I love psychedelics too.

Or,

You know,

Once in a while,

I think those are amazing medicines that are starting to come back as well.

And they're now being allowed to be used,

Like LSD and mushrooms are starting to be introduced to hospice patients to help them ease into end of life care.

Yeah,

So it's just really interesting what our energy is capable of and how we can expand and travel.

And so if I'm into one right now,

It's shamanism.

Right.

Yeah.

That's interesting.

And so the the dreaming,

The dream journaling that's still going on,

You're still keeping track every day of what you dreamed.

Yeah.

And if it's not like I write it down,

I talk about it immediately.

So like,

I'll my sister and I still do it,

Sometimes we'll text each other and be like,

Oh my god,

I just had this dream.

Or just tell somebody like,

Because it leaves your mind so fast.

And that's why I really try not to check my phone right away,

Because you have to like catch it right away.

Yeah.

And it's really fascinating,

Because people think they don't dream that everybody dreams.

It's just a matter of remembering where you were,

And like,

Where you were traveling.

And so I don't really remember and sometimes,

Yeah,

I'll have really vivid ones that I can pick up on.

Right.

And so dreams.

What do they mean to you?

Are they something that show you where you should be going?

What you have done?

Is it like the subconscious?

Is it another plane?

What what does what do dreams represent for you?

That's a really good question.

Um,

You know what,

I find that if I set the intention before the dream,

Like,

If I'm,

If I'm feeling like I want to meet a spirit guide or have some guidance in the dream,

That's where it gets a little bit more shamanic to I'll ask for that.

And I'll really try to think about that before I dream.

So I'll go in there saying,

Hey,

I'd like to connect with ancestors,

Or I'd like to connect with a guide or whatever that may be.

And oftentimes,

If I set an intention for what I want going into the dream,

It'll happen.

And if I don't,

Like,

Sometimes,

Like random things happen,

Like,

I had a dream that I was in like,

Some kind of strange drone spaceship last night.

And it was definitely because I've been looking at some Instagram thing of a new drone that was coming out that looked like a helicopter that you could sit in.

Right.

So the dreams will parallel what I've been looking at in life that I've just gotten curious about.

And then I can unpack that.

Or they're mostly positive.

If I'm in a positive space,

Like I have good dreams.

You know,

I still haven't quite figured out like what's going on.

I think it's really just unpacking and releasing,

Like what's going on during your day.

And it's just,

It's honestly just a continued energetic continuation of what is already going on.

So it's not really like,

I don't really look at it as falling asleep.

It's just like,

Leaving your body to rest while you travel.

So you're continuing through what you're already aware of and what is going on.

But you're now in a field and a plane where there are no rules.

So you're not confined by like walls or anything.

And you can shift and move.

So it can get really weird and exciting.

And like you can see,

Like,

You can see the world.

And like you can fly off buildings or whatever you want to do once you get lucid,

Which is the cool part.

So I don't think of it as such a separation.

I think of it as a continuation into a different plane.

Right.

And so the setting of the intent,

As you said,

And is,

Could you say it's willpower?

Or is it is your dream,

Guided by your willpower?

Or is that a funny way of saying it?

I think that's a good way of saying it.

I was just reading a whole book on like,

What willpower is and how it's a muscle that you have to flex to train it to do what you want to do.

Right.

Yeah,

I mean,

I think you could definitely call it willpower.

And it's a matter of kind of repetition and focus.

I think willpower is really aligned with focus,

And just getting really clear on what you want.

And then just kind of having laser vision on that until you until you hit that moment where you transition.

Yeah.

And I mean,

I'm still getting,

I'm not like,

Some days I get lucky and I haven't really gotten to the point yet where it's like,

Okay,

I want to dream about this,

Automatically I dream about it.

So it's like 50-50.

Like sometimes it'll happen,

And sometimes it won't.

And I'll enter this like really random dreamscape.

I'm tired too,

You know?

So yeah,

It's definitely something that I'm excited to keep working on,

You know,

For a long time.

But yeah,

It's they're,

They're just so fun for me to kind of experiment with.

And they often like will yield like a song or,

You know,

Some kind of inspiration that comes out of it,

Or,

Or just like,

I'll wake up with this feeling of comfort.

Like if I have met a guide in the dream,

I wake up feeling really comforted and like,

And it gives me a little bit more clarity on what's going on.

Because if I don't get into that practice,

And I don't,

You know,

Follow up on my meditation and that mindful work,

Life can seem to get into this place of like,

Kind of monotony,

Or it's the same thing day in and day out.

And it's like,

Okay,

Like,

What's the point?

What's,

What is this?

What is the point?

Am I really able to connect here?

Like,

Am I having fun?

You know,

Just expanding the perception of how we live,

Because there's so much more going on than just like what's in our blinders of the human kind of body.

Right.

It makes a lot of sense.

I think creativity is,

Is a certain layer that you can tap into.

And it's not necessarily when I go to work or when I do certain things.

It's not necessarily the layer I'm connected to in every moment.

It's really something,

You know,

When I creativity is really something I sometimes really have to consciously tap into through,

For instance,

Meditation,

There come,

There's,

There's sometimes a layer where I connect with that,

But dreams,

Dreams seem to have,

Like,

An almost,

Like,

Hand in hand with creativity.

Like it's,

It's crazy.

Sometimes,

I wake up and I have like melodies and a song in my head.

And I just know it doesn't exist.

And I'm like,

So astound.

I'm like,

What I just,

In my dream,

There was a classical music piece,

But it's not an existing piece,

As far as I know.

Like my,

My mind or whatever it is just made that up.

I think that's so crazy.

It's so cool.

It is so crazy.

And it's very interesting to me that you're having those.

I've only had like one or two dreams where like a song actually will come to me in the dream and I'll try to remember it.

But yeah,

It's amazing because your brain is so very creative and like actually working.

Yeah.

Yeah,

I think we still have a lot more to learn about dreams and science hasn't been able to crack it,

Which is also so magical because we know something's going on.

Like,

Yeah,

Dreams are there to give us that sense of like wonder and magic and help us see that we are beyond our bodies.

Like we are energetic.

And that's like just kind of the same thing we get to do every single night that brings us back to the spiritual world kind of.

Right.

And so what about lucid dreaming?

Do you have lucid dreams sometimes where you are in control in your dream,

And you're aware to a certain degree?

Yeah,

Yep.

And those dreams usually happen when I never expect it.

Like,

If I practice more,

I find that like they'll come like if I do little tricks,

Like during the day,

If I look at the clock and look back and be like,

Am I dreaming?

No,

Like,

During the day,

I'll try to ask myself if I'm dreaming or not.

So that when I hit the dream,

Like,

I can do it.

And I'll remember to do it in the dream.

But they usually come kind of randomly.

And oh,

It's so exciting when it happens.

And I just want to hold on to it.

Usually it lasts for just a little bit.

But like the last dream I had,

I was like in the Alps on some like,

Weird roller coaster kind of weaving in and out of the mountains.

And I realized that we were just like not really being supported by anything.

And I kind of looked around and I was like,

This seems weird.

Like,

How are we secured on this thing?

And then I realized we were dreaming.

So I just kind of popped out of it,

Flew around and then landed in this kind of community of people in the top of the mountains.

And yeah,

So it's mostly like when you're dreaming,

You want to do things like fly or have sex or right.

Really,

Like,

Energetic or like really thrilling,

Because it's so exciting to be awake in it that you just want to like,

Like,

Push,

You can do anything you want.

So you go for the things that are like really fun.

And adrenaline and popping.

Yeah,

But it's so fun when that happens.

And I think everybody's absolutely capable of it.

And,

And I'm very curious still as to how that exactly happens,

Like,

At what point does your brain switch over and realize it's dreaming?

But right.

I love that movie because it was like,

Yes,

This is real.

Yeah,

And I also read about some yogis who start to meditate in their dreams.

So while they're lucid dreaming,

They also start to meditate.

So I remember there was a certain short time where I also tried it.

And I did call with Eckhart Tolle in my dream,

But I was not meditating yet.

Oh,

My gosh,

I can't even imagine.

I bet like if they do that,

And they meditate in the dream,

They hit like another dimension.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It's super cool to explore like what's going on in there.

And coming back to your your music,

And mindfulness,

We talk a little bit about what what it means.

But but still to to ask that question,

What does the combination of mindfulness and music mean to you?

Well,

I think that there is this connection,

And this circadian rhythm that we our bodies get on in our heart relates to that music can be a catalyst for.

So depending on like the hurts and the waves of the song,

And the beats that it's using,

Like you can put people into this kind of trance.

And I think as musicians,

We have a responsibility to make music that is healing.

So I mean,

I was even talking to my producer the other day about how we can work binaural beats into the song and like just have this kind of like undertone like rhythm that keeps people going.

But it's such a release because it is all about empathy.

I think especially songwriting is like when you are able to connect with the song and you say,

Oh,

This person went through exactly what I'm going through.

Like,

We're all connected.

That's what it's about.

It's like this universal message of we're all connected,

I get you I've been there and it's storytelling.

And that's why it's so powerful.

And also just the beats that we're using and in the music too on how we can move.

So I mean,

I used to be writing a lot of acoustic music on guitar and and like guitar picking,

Which I love and I still go back to all the time.

And that's where my roots were.

And then I got into a place where I was like,

If I'm going to a concert,

Like what do I want to do?

And concerts for me are a place where I can really dance and let go a little bit and come out of my shell and like loosen up and not be so stiff.

And dance really helps with that.

So I try to make music now that's ambient,

But with an upbeat quality to it so that people can move and feel really free to express themselves.

And I do try to create these repetitive parts in the song that kind of are like mantras in a way.

It's pop music with like kind of an R&B undertone to it.

But I try to make it in a way that's mindful of like,

What people pick up on,

What would be positive for them to repeat.

And I always try to have the message at the end.

So it's like,

If the first verse starts with a challenge that I'm going through,

I try to end the song with a resolution for that kind of positive message.

And yeah,

I mean,

I think it would be really,

I respect rap in a way.

Like I really love Kendrick Lamar because I think he's an amazing storyteller.

That's why I love him.

I'm just a little bit like concerned about how our commercial rap is.

It can be just kind of so degrading and it lowers our energy.

So I think we have to look at not just rap too,

Like any music with lyrics that are degrading and that are materialistic in a way that is not connective at all.

I'm all for abundance and having money and going traveling and do your thing,

Live your dream.

But when it gets to the point of just negative energy paired with exciting music,

It can be very confusing and people love it.

I don't blame them.

Sometimes I'm listening to it too,

But I also have to look at the music.

How am I consuming this?

If I'm thinking about food,

Like okay,

A cupcake tastes great,

But it's not good for my body.

I can process all that sugar.

It's the same with music.

If you're listening to these negative words masked by a dope beat,

It's not good for your system.

It's not good for your belief system.

So I try to really curate my playlist and my music in a way that's healthy and good.

Because the same thing if we're looking at pictures on Instagram that are not serving us,

Get it off.

I used to have this whole following or I was following it.

Just lots of celebrities and models that I was looking at and fashion pages.

I found that when I was going on there,

I was leaving not feeling so good.

So I was like,

What's going to make me feel better?

So I was like,

Just unfollow all of those people,

All of them.

Because either they're not feeling authentic or I'm getting to a weirder place.

So I just decided to follow pages that really were going to be exciting to look at.

So maybe that was like Aerovated Cooking,

Sahara Rose is somebody I really like to follow for that too.

And just getting healers on my page,

Like people that really are tapped in.

So that changed a lot of how I was consuming media in general too.

So I look at music and all media and all of these kind of sources as a way to communicate energetically and we got to be careful about how we do that.

So yeah,

Yeah,

It all comes back to intent,

Right?

It's like the intent of someone making a song or making a certain lyrics or even making a photo of themselves.

I believe that the intent that someone does it with,

That somehow transmits and it might be very obscure.

You might not even hear it necessarily into lyrics or words.

But it's there,

I believe that the intent always carries over and you get influenced by it,

No doubt.

Yeah.

Yeah,

It does.

It definitely does.

Intention does.

So yeah,

For me,

I think,

And as all musicians do,

Like the work of healing and having that be a practice is so important because your music will be better and you can serve people better because people will feel how you grow and how you experiment.

Right.

But music,

I think it's all fun.

So if the intention is like,

Let's just have fun,

Let's create a fun beat,

Like lyrics don't have to be so crazy.

It's just like,

Let's just have fun with it.

That's like one thing.

But exactly,

Just to keep it always positive and in a good place is so important.

Yeah,

And as you mentioned,

The dancing is also something I found out that really can bring you into a trance.

I remember going to Berghain,

Like a club here in Berlin,

Which,

I mean,

Some people call it the best techno club in the world.

I don't know,

I haven't been to all the clubs in the world.

But it's definitely an amazing experience.

And I remember going there,

Like week after week,

And dancing and the first half hour or something,

I always felt like uncomfortable.

I felt like,

You know,

I was moving and I felt everyone was looking and then at a certain point,

You get into a flow where you're moving and you're not necessarily thinking anymore,

Like your whole thinking is just,

It's just shut down,

Or it's at least at such a basic level.

And you're just literally the energy moving through all your limbs.

And I think that's so incredible.

To Yeah,

To connect with that.

Yeah,

It's travel,

Like,

Even if you're in a club,

It's like this tribal sense of getting back to that rhythm.

And that's why dance is so important.

And I think that's why you get to connect with that,

You get to connect to that rhythm.

And that's why drum circles are so cool to be around and just to get that rhythm going.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

I've loved going out to dance just for the same reason.

And my friend Amy,

She's,

She's just this awesome DJ and meditation teacher.

And she mixes like these Kundalini meditations with disco.

So she hosted one the other night at this place called the assemblage in New York,

Which was so cool.

And she was doing this Kundalini meditation and breath work and chanting.

And then she introduced like a disco,

Like,

Just sober dance,

Like,

Party.

And we all just started dancing.

And first we started just with our eyes closed just to get comfortable.

And like,

It just definitely loosened all of us up because like,

You think everybody's gonna look at you weird.

So it takes like 10 minutes to get into it.

And then everybody's just into it.

And we were all just like,

You know,

We formed this circle and we got,

You know,

All of us as individuals to go into the middle of the circle and just express ourselves and cheer for each other.

And that was just so important to to experience that kind of community and dance like that.

And I think that's gonna happen in clubs,

Absolutely.

Or,

You know,

Concerts or wherever you are,

Like,

You know,

Just supporting each other and like letting each other move like that and having that be okay and just like,

This is very human.

Like,

You know,

We're kind of tribal.

It's cool to come back to that.

That's why we search for communities.

Yeah,

Exactly.

And it's almost a shame that there's so much potential of being able to connect and experience all these different states and things together with others.

And yet so many people don't realize it.

Such a.

.

.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

But at least they're out there doing it.

But it's unconscious,

Which is the problem.

And I think that's where alcohol can be a problem is because it's a mask.

It can be a social mask and a lubricant so that it's almost like in shamanism,

They kind of say that it's like a different entity entering you when you let yourself go with alcohol,

Which is interesting because I think there's a really healthy way to drink and have a drink.

I'm definitely like not fully sober,

But I've become a lot more aware of when I'm drinking,

Like,

How much am I drinking?

What's the intention behind it?

Am I losing myself?

Like,

What's going on?

So I very rarely get drunk anymore.

You know,

Because I realized that when I have been getting drunk and it's been because I've been afraid of not being funny enough or not being exciting enough and like that alcohol will pet me up.

And I went through that whole realm of like being in club life for a couple years where I was just doing lots of drugs and drinking a lot and just like not sleeping,

Not treating myself right.

And it was completely unconscious and it was all fear based.

It was all like,

I'm not going to be accepted if I'm not in this state.

And that was a big shift too,

When I started to search for communities that were different,

Like and started to search for like healthier alternatives to that.

And it was up really in a beautiful way when you set that intention.

And so that changed the,

So to say,

The old lifestyle that you had and the lifestyle that you currently have.

Did that change through just the practice or was there a certain shift?

Like,

For instance,

In a previous episode,

I talked with Quinn about his psychedelic experience through ayahuasca and that was really a defining moment for him.

And was there something that was like a big change for you or was it really like gradual changing and becoming more aware throughout time?

I mean,

I can relate to Quinn and the ayahuasca experience.

I haven't actually done that yet,

But LSD was a major catalyst for that.

It was able to wake me up.

And so it was DMT,

Which is kind of similar,

But it was gradual.

It was gradual.

It was mostly because I was like,

Am I performing at my highest level right now?

Like,

Am I making music like I want to be making?

Am I out making friends?

Like,

Am I making money?

Like,

How is this serving me?

Is it at all?

Like,

What is,

What am I hiding from?

And that's when it changed.

It was like,

I don't like this lifestyle anymore.

These people,

Like,

I don't feel connected with.

So it was more of just a checking in and yeah,

And then having a gradual further practice.

And then my body started to connect with my mind when I was like,

Being more aware and present and mindful so that when I tasted alcohol,

I didn't like it.

It was like,

This is not right.

This is not aligning with what you've been practicing.

To that extent,

You know?

So love and enjoy a glass of wine out at dinner.

That's totally fine.

But I think when it gets to the extent of just the extremes,

It doesn't serve.

It doesn't really serve us.

So,

I mean,

And I,

Hopefully we can find a way to kind of work through that too,

As a society and not be so scared to be ourselves without these masks.

Yeah.

And as you mentioned early on in our talk is that this who am I is,

It's quite central to meditation practice,

Even though,

You know,

Some argue about the I and if there's really an I and you know,

Maybe you're not this or you're this and but all in all,

I think this who am I is so central to our existence.

And there are so many ways to sort of numb that questioning and that sort of like,

Honest,

Honest questioning of who am I and why am I here,

You know,

The big existential questions.

And I think,

As you mentioned,

That it's really hard to to face that because,

For me personally,

I haven't found necessarily one answer to that,

Like,

There's so many different things going on.

Depending on the time where I'm checking in with myself,

Depending on the mood,

Depending on the weather,

There's so many different things that are going on.

That is hard to say,

For me,

Okay,

This is who I am,

Or this is not who I am.

But I think in that there's so much comfort,

There's so much comfort to know,

You know,

When there are bad thoughts coming up,

Like,

Okay,

But you know,

That's not me.

And yeah,

I think that's,

That's so beautiful to,

To come to this place of being able to accept yourself,

Whatever that self is.

Yeah,

I know,

It's,

That's really resonating for me.

I love that.

And what you just said about like,

Asking yourself for the who am I,

Like,

When these negative thoughts come up,

Or whatever,

Like,

Is that really who I am?

I think that's such an important question to initially start asking ourselves is like,

Is this who I am?

Is this thought representing like,

Who I am?

Like,

Who's speaking?

Like,

When these thoughts come up,

Who's speaking?

Is that me?

Or is that some kind of like,

Different energy?

And that's where we can kind of like,

Start to dive into it a little bit more.

But I think you made a really good point.

And I think,

I don't know if I've met anybody who says like,

Oh,

I'm exactly this person,

Because to put it in kind of a square like that,

Like,

We're so much more expansive than that,

I feel like because we can be different versions of ourselves with different communities and different people.

Like,

I'm a different version of myself when I'm on stage,

For example,

And I'm performing like,

I'm this really excited kind of extroverted version of myself.

And I'm a different person when I'm at home cooking a nice meal.

Like there's,

There's a me that's like intertwined with all of that,

But there's so many different levels of who I am.

And I'm meeting like,

I've become different versions of that self.

And I think that's where empathy comes in.

And that's where that sense of like,

We're all one comes in,

Because we all share such similar emotions in the same spectrum of emotion.

Then we're able to connect with each other like that and realize that we're all in the same boat,

And we all have the same questions.

And maybe it's just this,

Like this,

Who am I question?

Maybe it's not necessary.

Like,

Maybe this is something that everybody keeps searching for.

But it's like,

What is that?

Like,

Why are we all so obsessed with the question?

Yeah.

Yeah,

Exactly.

Well,

I think because we think there's one ultimate answer to that.

And as you mentioned,

It's all about interacting with with the present moment.

And the present moment is always changing.

So whatever you're interacting with is always different.

So as you said,

When you perform,

There's a different version of you or you then when you're at home or when you're asleep,

Or,

You know,

And I think that's so amazing that in this interaction with others,

They are all like mirrors where we look at ourselves,

But they're not necessarily the ultimate picture that it's not like one mirror is suddenly like,

This is exactly who I am.

Right,

Right.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think our relationships are able to show us more of who we are.

Or just kind of what our patterns are and unpacking that.

I think it's really like,

For me,

I guess,

The Who am I is,

Is getting to that.

Like,

I guess you could call it Nirvana,

Too,

Is that blissful place where I've finally been able to unpack,

Like,

All of these toxic belief systems or all of these programs that have been instilled with me in this human experience,

Because we,

I like to think,

I don't know that we might have,

We chose to come here,

Like as beings,

We chose as energies to be like,

Okay,

I am signing up for this human experience,

I'm going to come down here.

And I'm going to agree to forget everything that I learned.

And to have this human experience and to be kind of have put these blinders on.

So I almost look at this as like a kind of a metaphor as life is remembering who you really are.

And like real unlearning,

Like all these programs that have been put in place since we came into this world.

And coming back to that energetic frequency and coming back to frequency and releasing all of these labels and all of these conditions that hold us down coming and I feel like nature is a beautiful way to come back to that because when we're in nature,

We start to connect with the plants and the earth as a being and we can start to connect to the celestial bodies more and we become more almost universal.

I don't know if this is making sense,

But like,

It's like,

Remembering who you really are,

Before you were programmed.

Like that's what I start to think of as figuring out who I am.

It's like,

Who am I beneath all of this?

Like all of this,

You know,

Show that is fun to play with,

But sure.

So yeah,

It's,

That's why we do the work.

That's why we meditate,

Right?

It's like to get to that place and to be the observer.

And I think once we hit that place of like being the observer,

When we're in meditation,

Especially in group meditation,

The coolest part and like the part that I get most emotional is,

Is when I can release all of that.

And then I feel this like,

Connectivity between everybody in the room,

Like we're all dropped into the same place.

And it feels so warm and so cool that we're all able to be there together.

And that's when you feel like this oneness.

So I think individualism is interesting.

It's like different ways of this one energy expressing itself.

Right.

Yeah,

That's that is amazing.

Really,

Really interesting stuff.

But I want to ask you the final question for today.

What would you give as an advice to anyone listening right now to the podcast?

Let's see.

Um,

I just would love for everybody to kind of understand that they are powerful creators in their own rights,

In their own essence.

And that our belief systems are yielding our thoughts and our emotions,

Which become our actions and our words.

And so I would just love to impart the understanding that we're constantly creating our own realities and that we can overcome anything like just stepping into more of a place of power instead of victimhood.

And it can be so powerful.

So just diving into how you can make that choice every day.

Like you can always choose how you're going to feel.

It's just a choice all the time.

So I think that's what I would leave it on.

It's a hard question.

But that's been really helpful to step into my power.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Yes.

Thank you so much for joining me for this podcast.

I feel like we could keep talking but I still I don't know.

Maybe we should be part of you know what you guys are doing.

I think it's so wonderful.

And I just support you guys so much.

And you're such an awesome individual too.

If you enjoyed what Helen talked about,

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