Hi,
I'm Melissa and welcome to this week's episode of Fresh Perspectives.
So this week I'm going to talk to you about four different categories of being,
Four different categories of relating with the other person or relating with the world.
So for those of you young adults who are perhaps coming out to the world now from college or from uni,
You might be in a transitionary period right now where you've spent most of your life being A.
Dependent,
As in you've had a caregiver whether it be a parent,
A family member or whatever your circumstance may be providing you with support,
Meaning a roof over your head,
Food,
Electricity,
A transportation and a safe place to be and to live so you're fully dependent.
There is another category of being and that is being codependent.
Codependency happens when two parties have a dependency with each other.
I think that's pretty much self-explanatory and there's another state of being and that is independence.
So obviously independence is when we live in a way where we don't need anybody else.
We can go along our lives being independent and more often than not that is what we are conditioned to strive for,
To be fully independent,
To not need anybody to live our lives.
And there's another fourth category which for me is actually the ultimate state of being.
It is the ultimate way to relate to other people and the world and that is interdependence.
So interdependence is when we can stand on our own two feet,
We have a sense of independence of our unique and authentic self but we actually grow by relating with others without necessarily being fully influenced by them.
So it's like holding the hand of somebody in life and being that person,
Being your cheerleader,
Being there to support you,
To listen to you,
To reflect back to you on life but without controlling you or necessarily directly influencing you.
In the same way you are that way for that person.
You can accompany each other in life,
Leading life your own independent way,
Feeling fully supported interdependence.
So the struggle that we often have when we're dependent is that we become incapable or we lack the confidence to be able to do anything without somebody else.
We cannot function without somebody providing us with either that service or the support.
That's what comes with dependency.
Codependency is very similar in that way.
What codependency does is it fosters a dependent relationship between both parties.
So both people cannot function without the other one.
And then what happens is you then cultivate a need for each other,
An attachment for whatever that service or that relationship is you have with the other person.
That's codependency.
And as I mentioned earlier is when we walk our own path without needing anybody else.
And what that can foster is a sense of isolation.
It can feel very lonely.
It can make you feel be completely detached from community and from other people and therefore doesn't foster any form of connection with the outer world.
So there we are.
Four different states are relating with the world.
Dependency codependency interdependency and being fully independent.
So I welcome you this week to explore which are you and which would you choose to be in your life?
Let me know what your thoughts are.
Any questions or inquiries or you want me to expand on anything,
Comment below.
Until next week,
Take care.
