This meditation is to help build wholehearted connections with others.
We are relational beings,
Wired for connection and love.
Yet we can go through the majority of our lives feeling a lack of deep connection and intimacy.
Social bonding,
In the truest sense of the word,
Is about an energetic,
Authentic,
And compassionate exchange between beings.
The exchange is equal parts offering and receiving.
Although it's clear that our desire for connection is innate,
Navigating relationships can be very challenging.
Just like everything else in life,
We can learn and practice how to be with others wholeheartedly.
Take a moment to notice where you are right now.
Check your environment,
Your posture,
The felt sense of your body,
Your breath.
And notice your overall state of being.
Let's begin by taking inventory on our own levels of presence,
Openness,
And curiosity.
On a scale of 1-10,
If 1 is the least and 10 is the most,
How present are you right now?
What's one thing that you can do to boost up your rating?
For example,
Listening for sounds in the room or feeling the next few breaths.
Whatever it is,
Do just that and notice if there is a shift of any kind.
On a scale of 1-10,
If 1 is the least and 10 is the most,
How open is your heart?
What's something that you can do right now to boost up your rating?
You might connect to a felt sense of safety or feel someone you trust supporting you who really has your back.
Just notice as you invite yourself to become more open,
Do you experience any shifts in your level of openness?
Now check in with your level of curiosity on a scale of 1-10.
How curious do you feel right now?
Are you in a state of wonder and exploration or are you craving to accomplish something,
Feeling doubtful or judgmental?
Just notice.
What's one thing that you can do right now to boost up your curiosity rating?
You might remind yourself to trust being in process and that there is nothing for you to achieve or figure out right now.
Notice as you invite yourself to become more curious if there are any changes in the way that you're experiencing this moment.
Being aware of where we are at,
The state of being that we're in and how we're showing up moment to moment are all important when it comes to our ability to wholeheartedly connect with others.
This is often easier to do by ourselves than it is when we're in the presence of another person as we must be able to expand our ability to hold our own experience and the experience of the other person at the same time.
Let's practice just that.
Choose someone who you would like to deepen your relationship with.
This could be someone who you feel has limitations in connecting with you or someone who you feel your own limitations connecting with in the way that you hope for.
Just imagine them coming to sit with you right in front of you right now.
What do you notice about yourself?
Once again we'll take inventory of our levels of presence,
Openness and curiosity but this time while we're in the presence of this other person.
You can offer yourself the same practices and gestures,
Words of encouragement to invite higher levels of these qualities in while sitting with this person.
Can you be present with yourself and with them at the same time?
Can you be open to your experience and open to whatever this person may be experiencing at the same time?
Are you able to remain curious about your experience and their experience equally?
What do you notice about yourself and the person you're imagining yourself sitting with right now?
Can you see the goodness in yourself and the person you're with?
Try to hold the experience of both of you sitting here together in a bubble of compassion,
Attuning to the light that shines from both sets of eyes and from both hearts.
Learning how to be in healthy relationships with others is an extension of our mindfulness practice.
The aim is for us to live through abiding awareness both in our internal and external relationships.
We're pulsing our awareness to and from what is happening within us and what's happening within the other while giving and receiving feedback.
We're strengthening our horizontal pole,
The pole between self and other so that we feel safer in relationships and we invite others to feel safer with us.
I'll end with a quote from Krishnamurti.
When I understand myself,
I understand you and out of that understanding comes love.
I understand you and out of that understanding comes love.
