Meditations On Gratitude | Family And Friends

Hello,

This is Anne Sussman,

Founder of Mindfulness Meeting Place and the author of the Bliss Buddy Project,

How Sharing Gratitude Increases Joy.

Today our gratitude series continues and we will be practicing gratitude for our family and friends.

This can be for immediate family and for extended family.

Some of you may not know your family,

Maybe you have adopted families or friends that have become family.

This is for you to define what family means.

Sometimes our pets are our family too.

This can often be a challenge when we have had difficult relationships with family members.

I remember when I was growing up wanting to have Leave It to Beaver family.

If you grew up in the 60s and were little then like I was,

There were many families on TV that so seemed so perfect.

Leave It to Beaver,

Ozzie and Harriet,

Donna Reed.

The moms were home,

The dads were out at work,

Kids just getting into a little bit of trouble and then everyone hugging it out over the perfectly cooked dinner by mom in her apron.

Yeah that wasn't my family at all.

I remember when my father was dying and I was feeling conflicted about eulogizing him and sitting Shiva.

My rabbi told me something very wise.

He said,

If I could recognize the gift of life that had been given to me by the act of birth through my parents then that was something that I needed to be grateful for and actually that was all I needed to be thankful for.

The gift of life.

Even if there wasn't anything else in that relationship I wanted to feel grateful for,

That was truly the gift.

I thought a lot about that in that moment and since then.

Paying attention to what we are grateful for in relationships can often lead us to behave in ways that are more compassionate.

In this way even challenging relationships can lead us to be better friends,

Better parents,

Better individuals than our upbringing may have pointed to.

Remember what we are now is what we have been.

What we do now is what we will be.

In this way in each moment we have a choice about how we want to proceed in life.

In this meditation think about who you consider your family.

Their siblings,

Grandparents,

Aunts,

Uncles,

Friends,

Pets.

You've come a long way since the television images of the 60s.

Families come in all shapes and sizes today and we are all part of the human family.

Think about what brings us together.

Can you feel grateful for the friends that you count on as family?

Some of us are blessed with deep and abiding friendships.

These are the relationships that fill our cup that we count on for all the important moments in our lives.

These are the people we know in our hearts are our family.

Maybe you have many of these.

Maybe you have just one.

Today let's focus on being grateful for these relationships in whatever form they come.

I'll remind you of the essentials of the practice.

Remember it's okay to have thoughts in meditation.

The biggest misconception is that you need to clear your mind.

It's never going to happen.

Don't try too hard at this.

It's just a gentle shifting of your attention from thought back to breath.

It doesn't matter how many times you return to the breath.

That is the practice.

You're doing it just right.

Let go of expectations and be kind to yourself.

Stick with the practice over days,

Weeks,

Months,

And years.

The changes that meditation will bring to your life are subtle yet profound.

We'll be meditating for about 20 minutes.

So let's begin.

Find a comfortable position upright and relaxed.

Minimize your distractions for our time together.

And when you are ready,

Gently close your eyes and begin by taking a few long slow deep breaths in and out of your nose.

Controlling the breath right now,

Knowing that you're safe,

Grounded,

Present,

Making this choice to meditate.

As you listen to the sound of the chime,

You can now let your breath return to its natural depth and rhythm.

No need to control your breath anymore.

Your breath may speed up or slow down,

But your breath knows exactly how to take care of you,

So just let it be easy.

Notice the temperature on your skin,

The warmth or coolness of the air.

And notice the sounds around you,

Sounds in your environment,

Distant sounds outside the room.

Sounds need not be a barrier to your meditation.

In this practice we want to welcome everything that arises internally,

Externally,

Resisting nothing,

Holding everything in an attitude of kind attention.

And now bringing some relaxation to the body,

Beginning with the top of the head,

Softening the scalp and unfurling the brow,

Allowing the face to be soft,

No expression necessary.

Checking in with the jaw,

Seeing if you might need to unclench just a little bit,

Allowing the tongue to rest easily in the mouth,

Inviting the shoulders to soften down the back,

Away from the ears.

Noticing the spine,

From the base of the spine,

The top of the head,

Reaching tall,

Holding your body in a posture that feels like dignity to you,

Relaxed,

Alert.

Noticing the front body,

Softening from the top of the chest on down through the diaphragm,

And inviting the belly to be soft and easy like a great big Buddha belly,

Softening the right arm from the shoulder on down through the elbow,

All the way to the fingertips,

And the left arm,

Letting go of any tension you might be holding there from the shoulder on down through the elbow,

All the way to the fingertips.

Noticing the pelvis,

Sinking a little bit deeper into the cushion,

The chair beneath you,

And then noticing the cushions,

If you can,

Rising up in reciprocity to support you,

To hold you in your practice.

Noticing the right leg from the hip on down through the knee all the way to the toes,

And then letting go of any tension you may be holding in the left leg from the hip down through the knee and all the way to the toes,

Scanning the body,

Seeing if there's any place that's calling for some ease or comfort,

Knowing in this practice you can always shift or move if you need to,

And sitting still as you can.

Now turning the attention inward to the interior of you,

Coming to notice any tingling,

Pulsing,

Sensations in the body.

If you don't notice anything that's okay too,

But that sensation is your aliveness.

Becoming familiar with the fact that you are alive in this body,

You almost never notice.

Now come to find the breath,

Wherever that's most obvious for you.

Might be at the tip of the nose,

Noticing the cool air coming in through the nostrils,

Leaving a bit warmer above the upper lip.

For you,

You might notice the breath most in the rise and fall of the chest or the belly,

But just resting the attention on the sensations of breathing,

And the expansion as you breathe in,

Space,

And the contraction as you breathe out,

And the space between the next breath.

And soon you'll notice your attention wanders to thought as it will over and over again.

When you notice that,

Just make a choice to shift your attention back without judging yourself.

Just resting your attention once again on the rhythm of your breath.

And now imagine you could drop your breath into the center of your chest as if you could breathe in and out of the space of your heart.

Bring to mind the image of a beautiful cup in the space of your heart,

A cup that is overflowing with light.

With each breath in,

Imagine a beautiful light filling up the cup,

Overflowing with light,

And then breathing out light into the world.

This cup in your heart is overflowing with gratitude.

It will never run out.

Feel the gratitude just overflowing from that cup in your heart.

And now bring to mind and to heart the people that you consider your family.

However you define family,

Think about your parents or grandparents,

Siblings,

Children,

Friends,

Pets,

Extended relations,

Whenever you consider your family.

As you bring to mind those individuals that you care about,

Notice the sense of gratitude rising in you,

Holding an image of them in the space of your heart,

Noticing that cup overflowing and the light surrounding them.

Feel grateful for those that you are thinking of.

If there is someone that is difficult for you to feel grateful for,

Maybe they have hurt you.

This is the case.

See if you can see them as a teacher or someone who has given you the opportunity to grow from the challenging relationship that you have had.

I invite you to notice if you can feel gratitude for that opportunity.

And if not,

There's no need to include them now in this meditation.

You have a lifetime to allow feelings of gratitude to arise for them.

Maybe it will,

Maybe not.

That's okay too.

Be kind to yourself above all in this process.

There is no need to feel anything false in doing this meditation.

Maybe floating back now to a time you can remember spending with one or more of these people,

Noticing yourself smiling,

Feeling the joy in the moment you spend with them radiating through your body.

You Coming back again to the cup overflowing in your heart space.

Take your time here.

Spend some time with each of those family members and friends that you're grateful for.

Coming back again and again to the overflowing cup in the space of your heart.

You'll sit mostly silent until you hear the chime.

You you you you you you noticing where your attention is and allowing whatever images of family and friends to gently fade away,

Resting again your attention in the space of your heart,

Breathing in light,

Noticing a cup of light overflowing in your heart space and breathing out light into the world.

You you Now allowing the image of that cup to fade away,

Letting go of the heart-centered breath and returning your breath to its natural depth and rhythm.

You you you you you So as you listen to the sound of the chime,

Sitting in stillness just a little longer,

Remembering it's always important to come out of meditation very slowly.

You can begin to deepen your breath,

Wiggle your fingers and your toes,

Slowly stretch into the space,

Taking your time.

And lastly when you do feel ready to open your eyes just gaze at the floor,

Letting in a little bit of light before you come back fully to the room.

Thank you for joining me in this meditation of gratitude for family and friends.

Today the closing quote comes from Grace Noel Crowell,

American poet,

Author of many books and over 5,

000 poems.

She wrote this,

How can I find the shining word,

The glowing phrase that tells all that your love has meant to me,

All that your friendship spells.

There is no word,

No phrase for you on whom I so depend.

All I can say to you is this,

God bless you precious friend.

Thank you so much for sharing this meditation on gratitude for family and friends.

Have a great day.

I wish you peace.