Let's close our eyes.
You know,
Most of the meditations and most of the talks that we have here are very rational.
They're centered around clarity,
Courage.
There's a lot of reasoning.
There's a lot of thought provoking that happens.
Core of whatever I have to say only involves love.
Today,
I'm in a very poetic mood.
I don't want to use any reason.
My heart is too full for my brain to come in and interfere with it.
The biggest desire we have is to be loved.
We might even downgrade our search for happiness and peace and elevate the experience of love.
That's how fundamental it is for our lives.
Be loved and more importantly,
To love.
Unfortunately,
It's very hard for the ego to bend down because love involves sacrificing that aspect that wants to be right,
That wants to be recognized,
That wants something.
To be loved is still dipped in ego.
It seems to be a desire of the heart,
But it is announced by the mind.
But to love,
There's no room.
There's no room for otherness,
Separation,
For ego,
For mind.
It's just a function of the heart.
Heart always wants to say yes.
Mind always wants to say no.
Especially in our relationships,
There's always a reason behind this no.
We can justify our way into our no.
Heck,
We might have a hundred reasons for why things are wrong or what this other person has done is wrong.
And I'm right.
But heart doesn't need a reason.
It just wants to love.
I'm not talking about the puppy love or the conceptual love that all my greeting cards proclaim.
I'm talking about the daily mundane experience of love that we sometimes feel for our kids,
Husbands,
Wives,
Parents,
Friends.
Most of the times we are too adamant,
Too uptight,
Upright to pay attention to the desire of the heart.
It doesn't matter what has happened.
The heart still wants to reach out and hug,
To forget about everything.
But the mind wants to be right.
It doesn't want to bend it what it wants others to bend.
And I'm sure there are a hundred reasons for why you are right.
What if we could find one reason to not care about that reason and just love?
How does it matter who goes first?
Nothing we do at work in our life is as hard as this.
Is as hard as this.
To put love on a pedestal requires a lot of courage.
Courage?
To pick heart over mind.
To pick who cares about the right answer versus the right answer.
The more distance,
The more coldness we feel in our relationships,
The more straightjacketed we feel.
We have to act a certain way.
Others have to act a certain way.
We can't be free.
Others can't be free.
We take pride in our suffering,
In making others suffer.
Although deep down we do love them.
Deep down we do want to say sorry.
I'm really sorry.
I love you.
But we end up saying something else,
Demanding something else.
And once the emotions run their course,
In a few hours,
There is a tug that makes us,
Or maybe it wants us to go reach out.
But the mind comes in and says,
But they did this.
And the love is buried.
Yes,
You're right.
The other person needs to do this.
If it is so hard for us,
Do you really think love can be forced?
Can you force the other person to choose love over being right?
There's no achievement in being right.
Trust me.
I've fought my way to be right all my life,
Only to be isolated,
To end up in tears.
Angry.
Righteous.
Even when I try to practice love,
There is anger,
But that anger is not being fueled.
The anger is leaving.
It's the past habit to be angry,
To want the other person to say,
I'm sorry.
But you and I both know,
Just those words,
I'm sorry,
Mean nothing to us.
We need to feel it.
And the moment we are sensitive,
We realize we don't need that feeling from someone else.
It doesn't need to be triggered.
Through someone else,
We can facilitate it ourselves by offering up pride or righteousness.
All this love I'm talking about is the daily love with our loved ones,
With our parents,
Spouses,
Kids,
Friends.
The more selfless we are,
Because love is selfless,
The more others will see it.
Not that it is the end goal.
We don't do this for others.
But the way others will miss us is only when we stop making it about us.
It's never about us for someone else,
No matter how close the relationship.
And if amidst this attitude,
If you can show up completely self-sufficient,
Non-expecting and ready to offer love,
The texture of life changes.
Nobody wants to avoid you.
Nobody wants you to go away.
Everyone wants to spend time with you or space with you or hang out.
Not because they get something,
But they feel nourished.
That's what I experience when I go to my teachers.
The laughter is deep.
The hugs are longer.
This happens even at work.
It might not happen to the same depth as with our loved ones at home,
But our relationships at work matter.
Our friendships matter.
At work,
Outside of work,
Walking on eggshells in any relationships is very painful.
Try walking on love.
It's quite easy.
Sometimes love requires you to be quiet.
Sometimes it wants you to say something.
The silence or the words are still dipped in love.
They're not cold.
They're not boiling hot either.
It's just warm,
Fuzzy,
Like hot chocolate with marshmallows.
And your mind will never take you there.
Mind only divides.
That's its job.
See what is happening all around us.
Don't take my word for it.
Do you really think anyone is using their hearts in this divided society that we live in?
We're divided over everything.
What brand of salt to use is enough to divide us?
There's always a reason to divide.
You look for- you don't even have to look for one.
I guarantee you,
You'll find one.
But can we find one reason to unite?
And nobody will give us this reason.
I cannot give you this reason.
When we look back on all our relationships,
All our friendships,
Or all our broken relationships,
Broken friendships,
Was love there?
Was there a chance to love?
An opportunity that can be grabbed.
Sometimes,
Looking back fills us with regret because the person may no longer be in our life,
Or may no longer be in this world.
This could be the last interaction.
I'm not trying to make it morbid.
I'm just trying to say the truth.
Is it really worth arguing about who's right?
I'm not saying we should do this with everyone.
We should only do this with those people who we love the most.
Unfortunately,
The people who we love the most are the most vulnerable.
The people who we love the most are the most suffering.
Unfortunately,
We make them suffer a little bit extra too,
And they reciprocate the same.
But what if 50% of this equation could be changed?
Your side of the equation could be changed.
How long the other 50% could handle?
Or could it be that love could permeate even that 50% a little bit?
Again,
There's no reason for what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that if you don't have a mind,
There might be a little disagreement.
But if my words are touching your heart,
Then you know what I'm saying.
And when we do regret,
The mind is the first one that comes and judges us,
Criticizes us,
Reprimands us.
There's no loyalty of your mind with you.
Make a mistake and see who's the first one to blame you.
Your mind.
And guess who is the creator of that mistake too?
The same mind.
And you know what?
The mind is the first one to judge you.
The result of love is immediate.
There's an immediate softness,
Immediate release,
Immediate tears,
Therapeutic,
Cathartic tears.
It's not a promise.
The promises are for the mind,
From the mind.
Things of the heart are just instantaneous.
There's no room for promise.
