Chat With A Friend - Episode 1 - The Why?

Welcome to the series of podcast sessions,

Which we call Me,

My Shelf,

Help,

And I.

The idea of these podcasts is we create a place for everyone to learn,

Share,

Grow.

So your wellness journey with friends.

That's what we are calling this.

So welcome.

Welcome,

Everyone.

I'm your host,

Nikhil,

And we have our other host,

Ilona.

Hello,

Ilona.

Hi,

Nikhil.

How are you today?

I'm good,

Thank you.

So are you excited about this?

Are you excited about taking this dive into the Irish Ocean?

To be fair,

I'm much more nervous about this than actually jumping into the Irish Ocean.

That's good,

That's good,

That's good.

That's what we want.

So yeah,

So do you want to give a little bit of background on why do you want to do this and what is it that you want to do?

So the general thing was,

As I go into different stages,

I thought I would like to do something different,

Something that's completely outside of my comfort zone when it comes to public speaking,

And then actually seeing if the things have actually been true,

The things I learned actually can be useful to anyone.

If someone takes a peek at it,

Wants to know not just where to start or have an idea of what is actually going on and the way they feel,

It's actually pretty normal.

This is a big one.

And then also,

At the same time,

It's OK to start creating and carving the life you want on your own terms.

So you're not defined by the standard that you need to do a certain 9 to 5 job,

You need to live a certain area,

Travel certain things,

Do as we're currently doing now.

So it's more of how do we find and actually find time and courage to create a life of one because it's easy to go into routine,

Old habits,

And actually just do exactly the same thing by day and then look through the years past,

And you haven't done what you wanted,

You haven't changed.

That's my view.

No,

That's amazing.

So you're saying you want to help people to be OK with creating the life that they want.

Yes.

And to actually see how it works for them.

Is it a lifestyle?

Is it work?

Whatever it may be,

You want to change.

Excellent.

I guess when we start to do something,

We will get more yays than yays from people around us.

Yeah.

Yes.

And so we are here to say the yays,

Right?

We are here to say the yays.

Help you to get to the yays in your own time,

Your own pace,

And whatever journey you're on.

And personally,

You said this is also like something you are wanting to explore,

Like doing something like this.

So even this is something you are practicing what you are talking about,

Is what we are trying to do here.

Yes,

Because I always say I'm a work in progress.

That's a very good thing.

I've started to use that as well.

Sorry.

Yes.

Yeah,

You can't trademark that one.

I'm taking some of that.

Work in progress,

That is a very good way of looking at it.

So yeah,

Just for you.

Oh,

Go on.

Do you have something?

And then the same thing is like,

Why is your?

Because we have quite different why's,

In a way.

Your vision is much more broader and more,

I am a companion.

And the way I look at it,

As a supporter and champion of the work you're trying to do.

So let's give you the floor and introduce.

Absolutely.

Absolutely not.

We are part of this together.

And this is something which I have been thinking about.

I've been wanting to do something like this for a while.

And to find people to do this with is more important than actually what we do.

So thank you for being part of this.

So who am I?

Why am I doing this?

So for me,

The purpose is to help 1 million people help 1 million people.

And I just want to explain a little bit of that.

It's basically trying to get as many people to start to use all the available tools and methods and so much content,

So much stuff out there,

Which can really help people if they are looking in the right places.

So I want to be able to bring all that knowledge,

Which I have learned from a lot of different sources,

And put it into formats which is easily digestible for a lot of people like me who have gone through the journeys like me.

So we'll get into journeys later.

But that's my why.

So I was thinking about creating a forum so that we can start to build things out and give people what they want to actually build to our podcast to help themselves.

So this is what the reason for this podcast.

And this is my why.

And it's reflective in what we do here.

So there'll be a lot of chat,

A lot of things we discuss here,

Which are very relatable to a lot of people.

So I'm looking forward to this.

This is,

Again,

My comfort zone is being pushed.

And so we are in it together.

So that's good to have a partner in crime.

Should I not say that?

A partner.

I understand what you mean.

No,

It's a beautiful thing.

So I think,

Morya,

Actually,

Thank you.

Because I'm going to kind of go to go and ask you a few questions to follow up to say.

So you do have a very nice,

You said actually a very nice thing.

You said you want to create space for people to take inspiration,

To take action in a way.

Because we came from different places.

And the way we come up and why it's important.

So if you want to actually bring us on a journey,

How did this came about?

Or did you decide that,

Hey,

I've seen enough.

I learned something that I want to bring to people to share.

So you mean like a back story of who?

Yes.

In a way,

Why?

Because you do have a very nice,

Like,

Division of the goal is actually very nice.

But the way it's like,

Why bring it back a few years?

Why you think this is important now versus if you talk to yourself like five or six years ago?

That's a good place.

That's a great place to start five to six years ago.

So five to six years ago,

My life would have seemed as normal as anyone else's who is working in London,

Pretty much.

A comfortable home,

Comfortable lifestyle,

Good work,

Working for good companies,

Good people,

Lots of activities,

Lots of fun.

So on the outside,

You would think everything is amazing.

This guy is living the dream,

So to speak.

Not as big as a dream as a Cristiano Ronaldo,

But a dream nonetheless.

Which,

Like,

As a kid,

When I was growing up in India,

I still remember this very vividly.

I remember this image where in the future,

I was in a corner office looking at Tower Bridge,

And that was in my dream.

And this is something which I recently just got back into.

I was like,

As a kid,

I remember that,

And I visualized that.

And then six years ago,

I was living that dream.

I was in near Tower Bridge.

I used to see Tower Bridge all the time.

I had an office kind of thing.

So I was like,

Wow,

I'm living the dream.

All the while,

There was things brewing inside of me,

Which I have been neglecting.

I had been neglecting.

I had been running away from things.

And it caused me to break down in different places.

So the physical health deteriorated.

My mental wellness deteriorated.

My concentration waned.

My sleep got affected.

I started picking up habits to compensate.

I started overindulging in certain aspects of life.

And all the while,

Externally,

Everything looks great.

Internally,

It was kind of falling apart.

And that's when I took some,

I don't know who took it.

I don't know how it happened.

It just happened.

I just attended a mindfulness-based stress reduction because I was feeling stressed a lot.

And I was thinking,

Oh,

This is fantastic.

I will go for an eight-week course,

And all my stress will be gone.

And then I can live happily ever after.

So I attended this training.

And the first session of the training,

I was taken aback.

So straightaway,

I went in.

I was like,

Oh,

My god,

This is amazing.

I was so not aware of things about myself.

So bringing back into the present moment was such a liberating,

Transformating idea.

I was like,

Wow.

First session itself,

I decided I want to be a teacher.

The first session,

I was like,

This is amazing.

Everybody should know about this.

And then I realized almost everybody who knows about it don't practice knowing about it.

So it gave me a thinking.

So I started to venture out.

There was a lot of issues still,

A lot of things which I needed to work on.

So this gave me a platform.

And then I was like,

OK,

I will take this.

I will start to work with it.

I started to create places where people could share and talk about this.

And then as a few years went by,

My depression,

Anxiety,

Addiction started to wear off.

So there are transformative changes in life I've seen with myself.

And that is why I'm doing this.

Because if I am going through this,

I am sure there are many people out there who are going through this same thing.

And they don't know where to look.

So I'm hoping this will bring some.

I know there's a lot of people doing similar things,

But not as similar as us.

Because this is real.

So this is like real time,

Real people.

We don't have an agenda yet.

We are trying to help people.

So literally,

We are living what people are going through.

And we want to be able to,

Both of us,

We're trying to bring that to everyone who is suffering in silence,

Basically.

That's why I'm doing this.

OK.

This is actually nicely said.

One thing I would say you want to go into is idea of us actually doing this together.

It also requires a level of vulnerability.

Because you can share how we feel,

For example.

Then you talk about,

Let's say,

Addiction or not feeling happy on certain things.

Well,

We'd be like,

OK,

I think people will have difficult.

I don't feel this.

But it's more like,

How to say,

Inviting maybe people.

Word would be a good place to start.

Because maybe they don't have,

Let's say,

Anxiety,

Or they're not,

Let's say,

They consider themselves like having addiction.

Word would be that your thing to say is like,

How to take stock of your life,

To say it was like,

Actually,

Am I in a happy place?

How to take,

So you're asking,

How do people evaluate?

Yeah.

Because you said you were actually going out.

Let's say you're going out.

You were doing things,

Et cetera.

So they would forget the way to clear your mind and the way to quiet your mind.

What made you the prompt to say,

I need to actually change something?

Because I don't like where I'm going.

Was there an event or something?

Or it was just a realization at some point?

It was like,

This is not what I want in my life.

So just start to see the signs around you.

Start to look for signs around you.

By signs,

I mean,

Are your relationships suffering?

Are people around you there just for a reason?

Are you not enjoying the things you used to enjoy?

So for me,

Cricket was big.

When I started,

Cricket is big.

We will be talking too much about cricket in this podcast as well.

So just bear with that.

So cricket is something I'm so passionate about.

I enjoy playing as a young child.

But six years ago,

I was not enjoying cricket.

And that is a sign.

They're like,

Oh,

Hold on.

I used to enjoy this thing.

Now I just do it to get drunk after.

And that was a realization.

Oh,

Hold on a minute.

I used to enjoy this thing.

But now the relationship has changed.

So notice all the changes in relationship that you might have previously.

And even if you are not in that place to reflect,

Just ask yourself the basic questions.

Like,

Are you sleeping well?

Are you able to sleep well?

Are you drinking enough water?

Are you eating well?

Are you stressed most of the time?

Are you feeling anxiety all the time?

Or are you feeling lonely?

So there are so many questions you can ask.

We'll go into the details of the questions.

But yeah,

The first step is just looking outside,

Seeing whether the relationships have changed,

Relationship to people,

Places,

And events,

And things you enjoy.

That's a good one.

If you're not liking to do things which you used to like,

Even two years ago,

That's a sign that something has changed.

OK.

No,

This is actually good.

It's actually taking time to see what you're saying is actually creating space to pause.

In a way to say,

It's like,

OK,

Where do I start?

It's actually as much as everything.

I think it's overused.

Another reason that's like a really big term now is present.

So if you sit down with yourself and actually say it's like,

OK,

Why am I feeling this particular thing?

What is actually going on around me?

That's a good start.

I think it's just like,

In a way,

I think it's kind of,

I'm guilty of that as well.

It's taking,

Not appreciating or valuating everything versus looking for a big milestone,

Big goals,

Achievement.

So a sense of gratitude in every.

Gratitude and also intention.

And that you are doing,

Why are you doing things?

Intentionally.

So if you're actually,

If you are just pretending to do something just because everyone else is doing,

Or you actually,

You're going for a walk or a hike because it's actually interesting not to go to the place,

Take a picture,

And then post it afterwards on social media.

Fair play.

It's actually,

It's nice.

It's a good,

In a way,

Two things.

Yes,

It kind of feels like a bit,

Just putting the best things of your life.

But at the same time,

When you look back,

It's social media can be a very nice diary of things you achieved in your life.

That's right.

It's difficult.

Those are the things we'll be discussing.

Yeah,

This is amazing.

So what is your story,

Ilona?

So you've talked about why you want to do this.

But what was your wake up call?

If there was any wake up call,

Or what do you think?

Go on,

Sorry.

No,

Go on.

So what is your back story in all of this?

I don't have any,

Per se,

A dramatic thing,

Or say it was like,

Oh,

I fell over this morning,

Whatever.

I was like,

It was not.

It's more of a place of feeling there's something off.

Because the way I like to say it,

Just a bit of background.

We worked in the same company for a long time,

So we know each other fairly well.

I tried a lot of different things.

I lived in a few different places.

And as I was moving countries,

Changing jobs,

I would always get the same problems.

Well,

Not the same problems,

But the same things,

Question.

Is this the right thing?

Am I happy,

Or do I like the people around me?

Why does it feel like I'm doing it?

It's more like,

When I start to see,

This is not a one,

It's not the circumstances around me,

The job,

The place,

Relationship,

Whatever you need.

It's actually,

It's me.

So I actually look into myself,

And then kind of pumped in.

And then I have a family who is really into,

Per se,

Apparently,

I'm orthodox,

In a good way.

So my sister took me first to the Tony Robbins seminar.

That was in my early 20s.

That was my first thing.

And then I started reading film as a box on the way commuting to work.

So I started to like Tony Robbins,

Like some of his recommendations.

I accidentally somehow ended up listening to different non-motivational speakers.

You find them on YouTube.

It just kind of trickled in.

It was just like,

Step by step.

I didn't realize.

And at some point,

I was like sitting down in,

I find myself volunteering again in Tony Robbins for the seminars for a few years in a row.

And then met different people who actually were happy,

Content,

Living the life they want.

And it was not a particular corporate,

Let's say,

Like not corporate,

But normal 9 to 5 job.

They were doing different things.

Even they were working with two doctors in the hospital.

They have amazing life outside of it,

Like activities,

Bias,

Relationships.

I was like,

I want that.

And I appreciate,

Like I don't need to be a director of a company making X amount,

Let's say,

Money people have.

I want to be comfortable and enjoy life.

So what I need to do to enjoy life.

And this kind of went through the story of going through like looking for promotions,

Working on mental health.

Let's say even I actually kind of felt overstressed and looking for counseling.

And then finally podcast.

My main thing is like podcast.

I always love podcasting.

Especially when I walk or I go for,

Let's say I used to go for a run.

I would check in something in my head.

Someone would talk to me for like 45 minutes or like an hour when I run.

And I picked up different books.

I just kind of trickled to a lot of different things.

Then yoga teacher training,

Name it,

Like various inspiration people being there.

It's just kind of one big thing in a way.

So I think I'm now getting in a place where I kind of feel okay with myself,

But still there's things I want to change.

Let's say one thing I would like to improve.

Long-winded.

That's fantastic.

No,

It's not long-winded.

I think it is absolutely necessary.

And it's a very fascinating journey.

Because I know some of it.

So for me,

Why are we doing this together?

Why would,

Like if somebody out there,

Like,

Oh,

This is a nice podcast.

Nice name.

Me,

Myself,

Help,

And I.

Okay,

What is this?

Why is Nikhil and Ilona doing this?

What is the point?

So for me,

I'll just go with this.

For me,

The reason we are doing this is,

I think we mentioned it earlier.

It is something we're very passionate about.

We are so passionate about helping and helping ourselves.

So we're not just helping,

Helping the sake of helping.

It is something it's for,

It's something we learn together.

And if it helps even one more person,

That's job well done.

So that's the reason,

That's why we're together.

I think we kind of work well together as well.

So at the time we used to work together,

We did not work together.

Since we left those companies,

Now we are working together.

So this is interesting.

Again,

I think there is a lot of things I've learned from Ilona.

And so that's why I think she's very good at certain things,

Which we'll go in detail in the next episodes,

Et cetera.

But so I think it kind of worked well.

She taught me yoga,

So that's amazing.

She's a great yoga instructor.

So anybody who's looking for yoga sessions,

Please reach out.

I'm more so like,

She's a wonderful person.

And that's why I think it's good to start something together and see how much we can reach people.

And that's why we are doing together and not for any other purpose.

It's just some fascination,

Passion,

Excitement.

I just like,

Yeah,

Curiosity,

What's this gonna happen?

That's why.

Exactly,

What's gonna happen,

And at the same time,

It's,

That's why it's part of the thing where we actually said it's learning in turn with conversation with friends,

Because a lot of things we actually discuss,

Even our conversation,

When we normally talk,

It's like,

How actually we spend like,

At least like 45 minutes per hour on the phone.

So we just kind of say,

And to say like,

They're great,

Maybe it's also like adding onto like space where we share things that we think are important for us,

Maybe useful to you guys.

Also,

Maybe we'll actually answer the questions you have,

But you don't know where to start,

Or you're not there to speak to your friends,

Because when you start going in to your inwards in your journey,

It can feel lonely because sometimes the people around you may not understand you,

Why you're doing this.

And this is the kind of like creating space to share ideas,

What could be useful tips and tools to actually say like,

I don't know why we thought this is gonna be amazing thing.

And it was like,

Well,

It's just another thing in a haystack.

So yeah,

So I think also we have very complete,

In a way different personalities.

One of the things,

Yeah,

Cultural backgrounds.

Again,

We both are living abroad in different countries,

Different locations.

From different countries,

Yeah,

We're from different countries.

Actually,

Yeah,

We cover a lot of ground,

Shall I say.

Yeah,

A lot of different backgrounds.

So again,

It's kind of like male,

Female perspective,

Foreigner perspective,

Whatever name we call it.

So it's all of those things together.

So for now,

This is our first one.

So bear with us while we get our bearings in a way.

Kind of,

But not too structured,

Just I think the flow of energy.

When we share what's interesting,

It brings something beautiful in a way.

Oh,

Thank you.

I think,

Yeah,

So yeah,

From me,

Yeah,

I don't have anything else to add.

I think this is a great start.

I hope you can tag along in this journey of self-exploration and also creating something together and also being part of this process.

So I am looking forward to everyone who joins this,

Hears about this,

Talks about this.

Just feel free to explore,

Just be curious,

Just see what's out there.

And yeah,

So we can safely say we have kicked off the first one.

So we are ready,

We are flying.

Now there's gonna be so much more coming your way.

There's gonna be amazing content.

There's gonna be great speakers we will have,

Yes.

We'll have all those things,

A podcast that has,

And more,

And more friendliness and more kindness,

More compassion,

Like those are the main things here.

So this might be a different podcast than a lot of people might have heard.

So it's gonna be different,

I feel.

So,

Yeah.

Yeah,

No,

That's it.

Nicely said.

So at the same time,

Just kind of to add in a way in wrapping up,

We do have more to send because we did send it out together and planned out,

If I can say this,

About maybe planned 12 sessions to see where we go,

How much ground we can cover,

And what people actually hopefully would like to hear more from us.

So this is us.

Nice to meet you,

Folks.

Welcome to,

What we say?

You say it better,

Like honestly.

Oh,

Yeah.

So thank you for tuning in.

Yeah,

Welcome.

Welcome to the gang.

So let's get started.

So this is me,

Michelle Phelps,

And I with Ilona.

So yeah,

Thank you.

And hope to see you next week.

Take care.

Bye.

Bye.