Work Life Balance (Recorded Live Feb. 2022)

Awesome.

All right.

Well,

Officially welcome to the work-life balance live session that we're having today.

I'm excited to,

As I said previously,

To be with all of you today to have this conversation.

So I just ask those of you here live in the chat what your biggest challenge is when it comes to work-life balance,

Because that's what we're going to be talking about today.

And I will share with you all as we chat,

As we talk and chat today,

My story of finding my own work-life balance and what that meant for me.

And I'd like to remind all of you that whatever you're looking for balance in in your life,

Whether it is your work-life balance or it is something else,

You're looking for balance,

Understanding that it's not going to look like anybody else's version.

You have to really spend time understanding what it is you want,

What you value and where your priorities are.

Those are really the big things we're going to talk about today.

I'm just going to write that on the board and then I'm going to go into the chat.

I don't want to go into the chat.

I'll forget.

So we're going to be talking about the values and your priorities.

Oh my gosh.

I just hit up priorities.

I don't know if I spelled that right.

My brain just went to her.

Close enough.

So we're going to talk about values and priorities today.

I'm going to turn one more light on too.

That's a little better.

Okay.

So we're going to talk about values and priorities because that's what's going to help you find balance.

Okay.

Oh,

I don't have my mouse.

Hold on.

All right.

Let's check out the chat.

So Sophia says,

I'm a busy working mom as well and would love to learn some new strategies to feel balanced and stable daily using my time most effectively.

Beautiful Becca.

I have a lack of boundaries working from home and tied to my computer and phone from when I get up until I want to go to bed.

Setting boundaries is key,

Cynthia,

And it starts with your values and your priorities.

Jessica is also looking for setting boundaries around ending your workday.

Ah,

She owns her own business and it's just so hard.

My kids are grown,

But my job is stressful and I have a hard time recharging.

That's actually sounds like my husband.

He just said something very similar last night to be present and not rushed,

Frustrated in the mornings.

Oh,

Kathleen,

I feel you a thousand percent.

That is something that we in our house have been working on.

I'll give you a little thing.

I'll share with you what we've been doing.

That's kind of been very helpful to have time for my own personal pursuits and passions,

But still prioritize my family and still work a regular job.

Oh,

Beautiful.

All right.

So we all have different things that we're really focusing on,

But let's be honest,

It's all very similar and tied in together.

We want more balance.

We want more time for ourselves.

We want life to have more ease.

So we want our values and our priorities,

But we want life.

So a quick funny story.

I went to set up the board today and I,

Where's my eraser?

It's been sitting in the kitchen for,

I guess,

Over a week.

So we didn't have a class last week.

And I said to my husband,

I was like,

Why is the dry erase board eraser in the kitchen?

I don't know what they were doing,

But he said the kids were playing a game and they were using the eraser.

So I had to go find it like right before we started this one.

Okay.

Sorry.

That was just a little side note.

All right.

So work life balance.

And I totally lost the train of thought.

Oh,

We want to have ease in life.

So no matter what you're looking for,

You want ease in life.

Right?

And that starts with setting boundaries,

Right?

You have to set boundaries.

Whether you work your own job and you've got to end your workday so you can go on to the next thing,

Or you need to learn how to recharge over the weekends to shut down that lucky brain from work and all of the stress and everything else,

Or you're a busy,

Working mom and you're frustrated because you feel like you have no time for yourself.

So boundaries,

Actually,

I'm going to go back.

We want to find ease in our life.

So we want to have our boundaries.

We want to know our values.

So I am going to rewrite that stuff on the board.

Priorities.

And just so anybody who's new knows,

I don't fully come like with no cars and know exactly what I'm going to say.

I really allow the conversation to flow and to flow in a way that feels easy.

And that's why I really like to have engaging conversation because it's whatever comes to me is kind of what comes in the moment.

That's how I prefer to teach,

Really,

To be honest.

Okay.

Cynthia L.

Beckett says,

Cynthia,

I witnessed you with compassion.

I hardly have time to blink and cause dry eyes.

So I have contact issues.

And I know if I'm staring at the computer for too long,

I end up having to like,

I can't wait to rip my contacts out of my eyes because where I work,

I stare at a computer.

And it can be a lot depending on the day.

If I'm really staring at a computer at home and I'm like,

I can't,

By like six o'clock,

I need to take my contacts out because my eyes are so dry.

Or I just have to read all my contacts.

Okay.

Another TMI.

So thanks to Beckett because I feel your pain.

So how do we,

How do we do this?

How do we create this ease of life?

Well,

We do it by setting boundaries,

Knowing our values and knowing our priorities and what's important.

So before I got into this work of working part-time and having consulting work and doing teaching on insight timer and doing coaching and filling a planner,

Like before I got into,

So when people say,

Well,

What do you do?

I laugh because I had a mom,

My kids do martial arts and I had a mom who was sitting there and said,

What do you do?

And I was like,

God,

That's like a really loaded question.

Cause it's not a singular answer because we're not singular beings.

So for me,

Work life balance was I do one job.

I work this many hours and this is what I do.

That's not me.

And that's not how my brain works.

I knew I needed something different.

So for me,

It really started understanding what,

How I wanted my work life balance to be really started in understanding my values.

And years ago,

When I really first started coaching and doing work on my own,

I was teaching a lot of this.

And what I did that is really interesting is I went back into my old journals.

So I don't know if anybody journals or you do all this,

But I don't journal as much as I used to.

But back in 2018,

When I,

My,

My life was just flipped upside down and I couldn't figure out what to do.

I was at a,

Oh,

Really?

I was at a loss and I didn't know what was next.

And I had all of this stuff going on in my brain.

And the only thing I could do was meditate and journal.

Those were the two things that saved me and helped me find that clarity.

And I went back through all of those journals years,

A couple of years ago,

Years ago,

It was 2018.

Wasn't that long ago.

And then about 2019,

2020,

I went through all those channels.

Wow.

Like I re looked at where I was and I looked at how I organically processed what I wanted in my life.

And I took that organic process and I molded it into a little program that people could work through.

Like,

How do I figure this out?

How do I figure this out?

And it really started with knowing what I,

What did I actually want?

It wasn't about the work.

It was about my,

My priorities.

I was going to put down my values,

But I think my priorities were really important.

So as much as I needed to set boundaries,

I couldn't set those boundaries until I knew what I was setting my boundaries around.

What,

What comes first,

Right?

What comes first?

What's most important.

And if you think about it,

If you're saying,

I want my work like balanced,

What is the let's,

Let's make a list of what's most important.

And for me,

I want to say two things that were really important for me were,

I still want it to work.

I did not want to be a stay at home mom that was not in the cards for me.

I think I would have gone crazy.

I would have been bored.

Like it just wasn't in the cards for me.

And again,

This is my experience.

So every single person is different.

That's why I teach this the way that I teach it,

Because it allows you to dictate what it is that you want.

So we're going to go against societal norms.

You're going to come up with things that you're like,

I've never seen anybody else do this.

You're going to come up and say,

Well,

So-and-so says,

I should do this.

So this is what I was taught to do.

This is what I thought was the right way to go.

We're going to turn all of that upside down and we're going to throw it all out the window and we're going to start a scratch and say,

I don't care what everybody else thinks I should be doing or what I was taught to do or what society says I should do.

What do I want?

That is the most important.

What do I want?

Not what does society want?

What do not,

What do I think is possible?

We don't want to talk about what's possible,

What I can do.

No,

What do you want?

Just get down and dirty.

You don't need to know the answers.

You don't need to know the how.

Just figure out what it is that is most important to you.

And for me,

The one thing that kept coming up,

Man,

If you've been on my lives,

You've heard this story,

You've heard me say this because it is really what drove me.

And it was the number one factor that kept me moving forward was I want my kids in school full time,

Totally okay with that,

But I want to pick them up at 3pm.

I do not want to be putting my kids in extended care every single day,

Don't want to do aftercare,

I'm going to pick them up from school,

I want to take them to their practices,

And I want to be home to cook dinner.

Those things were really important to me.

I also wanted the freedom that in the summertime,

I could take my kids to a park in the middle of the day.

And I could go out on a Wednesday and we could just do whatever we wanted.

That's it.

That's what I wanted to do.

And that was the fourth,

That for me,

Became my top priority.

That was the one thing that drove me moving forward in 2018.

How I was going to get there consistently was changing,

Because I didn't know the answer.

So I'm basically just doing explanation.

I was doing trial and error.

It was like a big giant experiment.

How do I get to have my priority?

Well,

Let me look at all the opportunities are out there.

And that requires taking the blinders off.

But you can't take the blinders off if you don't know what you're reaching for.

So what are your top priorities?

What is what are the most important things for you?

And when I say things or what's most important to you,

I really think it look at what are the one to two,

Possibly three things that are most important to you.

So those were my top priority was picking my kids up at the end of the day,

I don't care what I'm doing or where I am,

I want to pick my kids up at the end of the day.

Now,

I love sending my kids home on bus,

Because they get an extra hour to myself.

I still don't do that every day.

But I still,

As a mom,

And I didn't realize this at the time how important this was to me is I wanted to be a part of the vibes.

I'm okay sending them to school.

I'm okay doing this and that.

Gosh,

Did I want to be there when they got home from school and be a part of that doing homework,

Although it is super stressful sometimes doing the homework and getting the dinner done,

Which is also super stressful,

But really mad about having to cook dinner all the time.

But it brought me back to this is why I built the life that I live.

And that was my work life.

This was my priority.

Will that priority change as my kids get older?

Absolutely.

At the time,

I couldn't send my kids home on the bus.

So I knew I had to pick them up at three p.

M.

Every day.

Now I have the luxury of they're a little bit older,

I can send them home on the bus.

But still not every day.

Let's be honest,

I probably would.

And they do activities where they've got I can help coach my son's basketball team now because they practice at three thirty in the afternoon.

I worked full time and I worked from nine to five.

I wouldn't be able to do that.

So I had to figure out a way to create that.

But I couldn't I had to start here.

And that was the driving force that kept pushing me and kept moving me.

Yeah.

I'm just saying I'm just peeking at the comments we were talking about context,

You guys are awesome.

I have found that has changed my life,

Teleworking and having a flexible schedule.

Yes.

And it gave you whatever priorities you wanted in your life.

That's what that teleworking working from home gave you.

So now so this is step one.

So we're going to run through this and we're going to run through this because it's really super important.

Whereas if I were like teaching this as an actual course,

We'd probably spend one class on this one class on the next thing and another class.

I am working.

I have the application up to do a workshop on insight timer.

I've applied before.

They're just super,

Super selective right now with doing posting live workshops.

I don't want to do a course.

I want to teach live.

So I've applied for courses,

But I also know that that's not necessarily what I want to do.

So I'm working to get a live workshop so we can take these live sessions and all this information that I really kind of throw at you.

And I want to use the term word vomit and just give you tons of information and really break it down so we can have more intimate and more one on one conversations.

But insight timer is really,

Really selective right now.

So until they open it up a little bit more,

We will continue to teach live here and I will work on it all.

Number one comes from knowing your priorities.

If you don't know your priorities,

Spend time figuring that out and realize you're not going to figure that out in one sitting.

So the next thing you want to think about is your values.

Why do you value most?

When it comes to your work,

You're going to want to do values for work and values for your personal life.

Because listen,

It's 2022 friends,

And we all know work and life just spill into each other.

There is no clear separation.

So we have to make that separation and that comes from setting those boundaries and that's kind of the last that we're going to talk about today.

So if we talk about values,

We want to talk about what's most important to you in your work.

What is the most important thing that you want to do in your work?

We're going to take those questions and we're going to those same questions we talked about in priority,

We want to talk about our values.

What's the most important thing I want in my work?

What's the most important?

What do I value most in my personal life?

So what do you value most?

Not necessarily what's most important.

What do you value?

What do you value in your work life?

I value,

What do I value?

So I'll give you an example.

What do I value most in my work life?

Is my work having meaning beyond meaning?

I don't want to go in,

Push some buttons,

And be gone for a day.

I want my work to bring me joy,

To bring me joy.

I want my work to bring me joy,

To light me up,

To allow me to work with others.

These are things that I value in my work.

So how can I bring those values and combine them with my priorities?

That was really the most important thing to me and it took years and I'm still continuing to put it all together.

What is most important to me?

What do I value most in my personal life?

What do I value most in my personal life?

So for me,

My value is being with my kids,

Making sure I've got quality time with them.

So my schedule is all over the place.

I teach on Saturday mornings.

It's okay that I teach here on Saturday mornings because I make sure that I teach early enough in the morning that I'm still there for my kids,

That I can still bring all of my energy to all of you,

And then that frees me out for the rest of the day.

I don't mind doing this on a Saturday morning.

My kids are usually eating breakfast and watching TV in the morning.

It's fine.

They get up,

They watch mommy teach,

And then they do their own thing and my husband's here and he's usually working out or doing something else rather than help.

So knowing what your values are but separating them out from your work in your personal life.

What do I value most in my work?

Is it the people in your life?

Is it the work that you're doing?

And this really goes into if you feel like you need to change the work that you have or you're in an environment where you're like,

I'm going to stay at the job that I'm at or I'm going to continue running my business,

But I need to know what do I value most out of my work or my business and I'm going to spend my time there first.

I'm going to make sure those boxes are all checked off first.

Yeah,

I've been looking at what I don't like about my current job.

Okay,

That's beautiful,

Cynthia.

So look at what you don't like.

Here's one thing.

I'm going to give you this quick exercise because I think it's really valuable.

If you spend too much time thinking about what you don't want,

That's where you're putting your energy.

So be very,

Very careful where you're putting your energy.

So I'm going to put a little box down here.

So if you're focusing,

That's why I say be careful because if you're focusing too much on what you don't want,

You're going to keep bringing that in.

So if you make two columns and you have here's my don't column,

Here's my want column.

So for every don't that you have,

You will want.

Okay,

And when you look at that,

You can say this is what I don't want,

But this is what I do want.

So and then spend your time focusing on the what.

You don't need to focus on the don't.

You can recognize it,

Acknowledge it,

And see it,

But don't spend your time there.

Shift that as soon as you can and say,

Well,

I don't want.

So give me an example,

Cynthia,

Of something you don't want in the work that you're doing.

And then let's look at a what.

And then I want you to spend more time thinking about the what than the don't.

That's really,

Really important.

So that's just a quick little manifestation tip it of it's good to know what you don't want,

But from the don't,

You need to have a what and then spend your energy on the what and then just try to ignore this as much as you can.

Be aware of when it shows up.

Say,

Oh,

That don't's popping up again.

I'm spending more time on the don't side.

If I don't want this,

Then I do want this.

So I see you wrote something.

I don't want to be tied to you.

I want to be free.

So spend your time on that.

I want to be free.

And then what does that mean to you?

What does it look like to be free?

To be free of what?

To have free time.

What are you going to do with that freedom?

And spend more time being clarity on the what.

I don't want to be tied to my computer.

Or if you find yourself,

I spend a lot of time on my computer.

What can I go do that will make me feel free?

What does that mean to you?

And really develop that meaning and then do that.

Make sure you're spending time here.

Recognize,

Acknowledge,

Spend your time here.

Okay?

I hope that was helpful.

I'm glad you asked that question.

It's really important.

Yeah.

So we have to know our priorities.

And then we have to know what we got.

I also want to talk about my tour.

I'm torn here.

I don't know if I want to go into this piece.

I feel like it's going to take us off track.

So I'm not going to go.

I'm just going to go dive in a little bit into emotions.

Just with I want to be free.

So if we want to be free,

Really diving in and say,

I want joy.

I want happiness.

So if we can look at our values and say,

What do I truly want?

My phone's not in here to show you.

I want freedom.

I want love.

I want like those emotions that kind of show up.

So what does that mean for you?

So we've got our priorities.

We're talking about our values.

I've totally been,

I know how you feel.

Thank you for that correction back there.

So yeah,

I mean,

We've got to know what we want.

And if we feel like we're tied to our computers all the time,

And then we spend,

We're just going to get resentful.

And if you're starting to realize that you're feeling resentful for the work that you're doing,

Go to that once.

And I think this actually really lays well into our boundaries.

So we're going to,

Because we're at 30 minutes a month.

So we're going to talk about boundaries.

I think that's going to be the biggest piece of the conversation here.

So let's stay in this conversation of,

I feel tied to my computer and the phone.

This is where my work happens.

Totally get it.

When you're sitting at your computer and your phone,

Are you doing your top priorities for work or are you just working to work?

In our society,

We are taught that the busier you are,

The more productive you're being.

Is that true?

Take a log of your time when you're on the computer and the phone and you're working.

And just spend a couple days,

Even one day is probably going to be super eye-opening.

Spend one day writing down all the actual tasks that you're doing.

And then look at all those tasks and say,

Are these really important?

Do I have to do these in order to move forward in whether you're working for someone else or you're working for yourself?

Are these important tasks that have to be done or am I just doing busy work?

Because someone earlier said,

I want to be more efficient with my time.

That's awesome.

We all should be more efficient with our time.

So when you're working and you're doing things,

You're like,

Am I doing this to do this or am I just,

Or is this actually some piece of productive work that's moving things forward,

That's moving the needle forward?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So let's really think about that.

What's most important?

So I said in the beginning,

I really cut back on social media,

Facebook,

Instagram,

All those social medias for already since August of last year.

And I really,

Really thought for so many years that I had to be super active on social media in order to have my business and my coaching business and be where it is in my teaching.

And I spent,

So in January of 2021,

I started teaching here on Insight Timer.

And I started realizing that a better use of my time,

A more efficient use of my time was coming here and being connected to this community.

Because I am being connected to this community because I was spending my energy on social media,

But it was zapping all,

It was not an efficient use of my time.

It was not working for me.

It wasn't what I wanted to do.

I had to let it go.

And I realized I didn't need it,

But I was much happier putting all of my energy here into Insight Timer and doing my work here.

So it was the work that you're actually physically doing,

An efficient use of your time.

And you need to evaluate that and realize,

And you could be breaking patterns of,

Well,

I have to work because I've got to work from nine to five and that's when I got to get my work done.

And if I'm not working the whole time that I'm not being productive,

That's a lie.

Let it go.

My most favorite book recommendation,

I don't think it's sitting up here,

For realizing,

And this is what kind of flipped the switch for me from I have to work nine to five because that's what I was taught to do.

When I read this book back in 2016,

2017-ish timeframe,

And I went,

Oh my God,

I don't have to work nine to five.

That's actually an inefficient use of my time and I'm wasting my time.

I'm wasting my time.

And it really,

That was really the one thing that kind of shifted everything.

And I think it started the,

Like the snowball effect of the snowball just started bowling.

And then over the next year and a half,

Two years,

That snowball just got bigger and bigger.

I'm like,

I don't have to work with this anymore.

But that was the thing that really talked the switch for me.

And it is not up here.

You may have heard it.

It's the four hour work week.

I don't think it's up here.

It's probably somewhere else.

The four hour work week by Tim Ferriss.

It is an older book.

I don't know if it was written in the early 2000s-ish,

Shorter than late 90s.

It's an older book,

But it really flips.

And if you think somebody wrote it in the early 2000s was talking about how you don't have to work nine to five to be successful,

That it's actually an inefficient use of your time.

You can be much more efficient in certain ways.

That's the book that flipped that belief on its head and really shifted everything.

I've drastically cut down on social media.

It makes a huge difference.

Aha,

Angie,

You're so sweet.

Thank you so much.

I got some social media in August too,

Right?

It's amazing.

I find it helpful to take mini breaks throughout the day.

I do productive power hours in a few minutes to stretch meditate in between.

Do you need more than a few minutes then Sophia?

I don't know.

That's just me asking.

Yeah.

Yeah,

The cut down on social media.

And I've actually found myself over the last couple of weeks going back into the mindless scrolling.

And I've found myself back into those patterns and I'm cutting them out as soon as I'm like,

Oh my God,

I'm doing it.

I'm scrolling.

The kids are trying to talk to me and then I'm getting irritated because the kids are talking to me,

But I'm like,

I'm not doing anything productive.

I'm literally just sitting here scrolling like this is not good.

And I'm falling back into that pattern.

So now let's,

I have to break out again.

How good I take longer breaks halfway throughout the day.

That's awesome.

So we've got to set those boundaries.

What are those boundaries?

I actually wrote down today no social media.

And I was like,

I'm putting my phone down and I'm plugging it in and I'm walking away because I noticed myself getting back into that pattern.

So that's a boundary I'm setting for myself.

So what boundaries,

Well,

We're talking about computers and being on your phones all the time,

But what boundaries can you set that align with your priorities and your values?

So when you're setting boundaries,

Make sure you're setting them and then reevaluating them against your priorities and values.

So am I setting this boundary so that I can get more time with the kids?

Am I setting this boundary so that I can get more time away from the computer and fall?

Am I setting those boundaries that I can get,

You know,

Half hour outside of the computer?

Because it helps me feel free.

Can I set this boundary that allows me to do X,

Y,

And Z?

So this is why understanding these is really super helpful.

Because then you can set your boundaries based on your priorities and your values.

Because we can have a task list that's a mile long.

We all have it,

Right?

We all have a million things we need to do.

So what I do every day is I set aside one to three tasks that are my top priority.

So I might have five or six tasks depending on the day.

I might have two,

I might not have that much stuff to do,

Which actually has been the case the last week.

It's really nice.

And I've been able to focus,

But I've had those weeks where I'm like,

Oh my god,

There's so many things I need to do.

And then you get overwhelmed.

Well,

Pick your priorities and then set your boundaries and say these top one to no more than three things need to get done today based on my priorities or my priorities with my work like that.

It all comes in together.

So where are your boundaries?

So for my kids,

It's,

You know,

Yesterday I said it,

So my kids got home from school yesterday and we got like icy rain.

I knew they were going to be off.

And I said to them,

Listen,

I've got two calls today.

You can do X,

Y,

And Z.

And their thing is they got in real bad habits of interrupting when I was on calls.

Like there was a really a lack of respect and a very lack of,

There was no boundary.

I hadn't said it,

I had allowed them to come in,

To talk to me,

To have conversations.

And this was a couple weeks ago and I went,

This has got to stop.

I can't do this anymore.

It's driving me crazy.

So I had to set that boundary with my own children and say,

Listen,

I've got work I have things to do.

After my last call,

I am done and I am yours for the day.

But I still did dishes and did all that stuff.

They didn't need me all day.

But I set that boundary and said,

You give me that time,

No interruptions,

Get your own snacks,

No treats,

Watch TV,

Take a break,

Do your things so that I can get my stuff done.

And then I could then be there for them.

So I wasn't,

I didn't feel like I had to go back and check my email or look at my phone or do this stuff later.

I set that boundary for myself and then shared that boundary with them.

And that was really important.

It is so,

I love the Do Not Disturb.

So my phone is on Do Not Disturb every night starting at 9 p.

M.

,

8 p.

M.

,

Something like that.

It goes until 7 a.

M.

Because that's typically when I stop my like intentional time and I exercise.

So I Do Not Disturb on.

At work,

When I'm actually physically at work and I'm working,

I work face to face with a lot of people.

I work face to face with a lot of people and I have to give them my attention.

So I put my phone on focus mode.

I feel like I have all of these tools where we can set these boundaries.

I love no electronics at dinner.

We do that too.

Yes.

Oh,

Jessica says she took social media off her phone.

I did too.

So if I want to go in,

I actually have to go in and set up my phone.

I'm not sure if I'm going to go in on my phone.

I did too.

So if I want to go in,

I actually have to go into apps,

Search it and pull it up.

So it actually like it makes extra work for me.

And I only check it in frequently on my laptop now.

That's awesome.

I love it.

Yeah,

I'm telling you that book,

The 4-Hour Workweek,

It will change,

It changed things for me.

It's really important.

Another really great book is The One Thing.

This is it.

This is the one thing.

And this really talks about this prioritizing and that our brains weren't meant to multitask,

Even though we think they were.

And we're like,

Great,

Look how good I am.

I can do three things at one time,

But you're actually being extremely inefficient and not using your time very well.

So The One Thing is another really great book.

More on the male side of the brain and really setting boundaries,

But there's a lot of good information in there too.

Oh,

Pomodoro Technique.

I've heard that.

I don't do it,

But yeah.

So my work is how I do my work life balance is very different.

So when I'm at my office,

I am on.

I'm on,

I'm working with people,

I have practice members coming in,

I'm engaging.

And then when I come home,

I actually really,

Really enjoy that.

I really enjoy being on.

And then when I come home,

I set my boundaries.

I'm going to do work for my consulting client.

I put it in my planner.

I set aside the time.

I get that work done and then I move on.

So I spend too much time.

Oh yeah,

The book.

Yeah.

It's called The One Thing.

And then the other one is the four hour work week.

I think it's in my closet.

I don't feel like digging it out.

You guys don't want to spend time doing that.

It's The One Thing.

Google it.

You'll find it.

It's a very popular book.

Yeah.

It's a good one.

Yeah.

You're welcome,

Angie.

You're so welcome.

That's really,

I have nothing else that I feel like I need to say,

But if you guys have questions or thoughts or you want to ask anything,

Now's the time to do that.

I have a few minutes now.

We can kind of sit and chat for a little bit.

I can share more of my stories,

But really when it comes to setting,

This is about you.

This isn't about what,

So you're going to read these books.

You're going to look at these things,

But don't feel like you need to do exactly what the books say,

Or you need to do exactly what I said,

Exactly what I did or what someone else did.

This is about you.

This is about what you want and what you need and what you value and where your priorities are and what is best for you to set those boundaries.

It's not about anybody else.

It doesn't come from anybody else.

It comes from you.

You are the creator of this.

So whatever you want,

Those are the boundaries you set.

Whatever work-life balance you want to have it look like,

That's what's important to you and you create that work-life balance around your values and your priorities,

Knowing what you need,

Knowing what's most important to you,

And the balance,

And again,

The balance is not 50-50.

I work 50% of the time and I've got my personal life 50% of the time.

There are times where my work and there's less for my personal life,

But I know what my priorities are for my personal life,

So I make sure those are always done first.

Keeping a clean house,

Not a top priority for my personal life.

Spending quality time with my family,

Top priority for my personal life.

So the cleaning goes to the wayside when I'm working more hours or I'm traveling or I'm going to a conference,

And then there are times where my work's a little less and that was kind of like this week.

I didn't have as much going on.

I didn't have as many tasks that needed to be done,

So I spent more time in my personal life.

This is I'm going to clean my house this weekend.

I'm going to spend more time with my kids.

I'm going to do x,

Y,

And z that matters more in my personal life,

And then guess what?

It's going to flip because I'm going to be traveling for work soon and I'm going to have a weekend pretty much where I'm gone most of the weekend,

So those things are going to happen.

I'm going to have extra hours and I'm going to be working.

I'm going to be covering for a colleague at work,

So I'm going to make sure I'm focusing on the priorities down here in the personal life,

And then they're going to flip.

What are my priorities for work?

Well,

I might not get everything that needs to get done,

But I'm going to get done the most important tasks,

And that's what's important.

I'll focus on the top three tasks that have to get done,

And that's all that's going to get done,

And that's going to be enough.

So it's kind of this constant balancing act of saying what's most important,

What needs to be done.

Knowing your priorities is key in keeping that balance because you're able to say,

Well,

I can't do everything,

But what are the top things that need to get done,

And they're going to get done.

What do I need to focus on?

Yeah.

So it's your 50-50.

It's not 50-50.

It is never 50-50.

It just depends on the week and how the balancing act goes.

I have a tendency to think about my client's progress during the weekend.

Can it happen because my work is my work values because I want to help them?

Absolutely.

So if you're thinking about it,

That's valuable to you.

Your work and what you're doing with your clients is important to you.

So you can set a boundary and say,

Oh,

I had this really great idea.

So our brains,

When it's time for personal life,

Our brains don't always shut off.

My boss at night,

Outside of the house job,

We laugh,

We'll go,

I have an idea.

And we're like,

Oh,

You have an idea,

But it'll come any time of the day.

So if you have an idea that's going to,

What's the word I'm looking for?

So if you have an idea and it comes to you outside of your quote unquote working hours,

That's okay.

That's a download.

Take that,

Maybe write it down and put it to the side.

It doesn't mean you need to reach out to your client right away.

You can write it down,

Put it on a notepad,

Get it out of your brain,

Put it on paper,

Put it to the side.

Say,

Oh,

I had this idea.

That's,

That is because it's valuable to you and you're there to help them.

So allow that to come through.

You don't have to take action on it.

Just because you get an idea doesn't mean you have to take action on it right away.

It just means an idea came to you,

Oh,

I better put that down.

And when I talk to my client again,

I'll make sure I bring that up.

I hope that that is that helpful to you because my husband will say that too.

It's a hard time shutting his brain off.

I'm like,

Oh,

I had this idea or this came up to me and it's like,

Okay,

Well for me,

Going and writing it down helps.

So everybody has a different process.

So if something comes to you and it's for a client and you're thinking about it when you're out on your walk,

That's awesome.

Make a note in your phone.

Or I don't know if you work,

You know,

Make sure you're setting your boundaries.

I don't know.

Hopefully that's helpful.

Yeah.

See,

I said 50-50.

It's not a 50-50 balance.

It's a seesaw.

It's constantly flipping back and forth depending on where you are in your life.

So it is not your work and life balance are never 50-50.

If they are and they're 50-50 all the time,

You need to reevaluate something.

Oh,

Good.

I'm glad that's helpful.

Yeah,

Appreciate those ideas and realize,

So when we get ideas and we're,

So if you're doing something you enjoy doing.

So for me,

It's like if I'm out for a walk or I'm out for a run or I'm doing something and an idea comes to me,

It's because I was in so we can go back to manifestation and say it's because we were in alignment.

I was in alignment and this idea came to me,

But it wasn't during like the hours,

But I was in complete alignment and I received a thought and an idea.

I'm going to take that and I'm going to use it later on.

Doesn't mean we need to take action on it,

But you can use it later on.

Oh,

Yes,

The morning routine.

Yes,

Let's chat about that really quick and then we'll wrap up.

Thank you,

Kathleen,

For bringing that back up.

All right,

Morning routine.

We've got kids.

We have to leave to get to the kids to get the kids to school on time.

My husband gets ready for work.

I get ready for work.

The kids have to get ready and out the door.

So we've really incorporated our kids into the conversation.

This is something I'm working on.

So it's a very personal thing for me is I'm,

I spent most of my life rushing out the door and always being like,

Oh,

At the last minute,

Let me get out the door and go.

And I'm really spending a lot of intentional time saying,

How can I better use my time and say,

How can we get out the door with these?

So I focus on the one,

How do we get out the door so that it's easy and we get out the door on time and everybody's in the process.

So I look at my kids.

I know the things that they need to do.

I know the things that I need to do.

How do we work together to help each other?

Yeah.

I hate being driving mom in the morning.

You're driving to school and then you're apologizing all the time because you feel like such a jerk.

Been there,

Done that.

So what we've done,

And it's been really,

Really helpful is we've kind of made it a family thing.

All four of us have come together and said,

We're going to leave at 7 55 every morning.

Our job is to leave at 7 55.

Everybody needs to be ready.

And we really were putting a lot on the kids.

And I realized it's not the kids.

It's me.

I need to get myself ready.

So we're incorporating all of us into this conversation and saying,

I,

And I'm telling my kids,

I need to do better to get out the door on time.

So we said,

No,

My kids are little.

So we set a goal of if we get out the door every single day for five days,

We have five days.

We need to get out the door on time.

If we do three days,

We get down to three and we miss a day,

A day goes back on the clock and we have to add a day back.

And it's,

We have to be completely ready in the car and with ease.

So if we're fighting and screaming and yelling at each other,

That day does not count whether it's at 7 55 or not.

So this is,

And we're teaching our kids that this is a process.

This isn't going to happen right away.

We have a lot to learn.

We've got a lot of trial and error.

So the kids know everything that they need to do.

The first day was a disaster.

It was an absolute disaster.

It was awful.

Cause I'm like,

Wait,

You didn't do this.

You didn't do that.

And again,

It's a learning process.

They need to learn what they need to do to get up and get ready on time.

So they've actually got really good at what they need to do.

It's me that needs the work.

So I've started to realize,

You know,

We get in the car and it's eight o'clock and we had kind of a rough morning.

I'll say,

What can we do to do better tomorrow?

All right,

Listen,

I was rushed out the door.

I got in the shower late.

I needed to do this.

I needed to that.

I need to do better tomorrow.

So I am,

And I also,

My kid was like,

I'm going to work on doing this for me.

It was starting my workout at 6.

I got,

Cause I had a few days where I was starting later and later and it was just messed everything up.

So I said,

Okay,

Just start my workout at 6 AM by 6 15.

I know I know it should be 6 AM,

But I want to be downstairs and working out by six,

Like downstairs in the gym,

Working out by 6 15 in the morning.

That's my goal because that helps me be done by 7 AM so that I can get the shower and get ready on time.

The kids need to have breakfast.

So there's all these things that we need to do.

So we're really just creating this process and saying,

And really incorporating it as a conversation.

I'm not mad at you.

I'm not mad at me,

But let's figure out how we can do better so that we can do this and make it easy.

Like we have places we all need to be.

I need to be at work.

So what I found is that we've been doing this for about two weeks now.

We've yet to get four or five days in a row.

I'll be completely honest with you.

We have not made it yet.

We keep kind of falling backwards.

And while the kids get upset,

It's also a process of,

Okay,

Well,

Can we do differently tomorrow?

And what I started noticing is what I would do with my kids.

So there was a day where I was ready.

Oh my God,

I'm ready.

I did it.

And then I would say to them,

What do you need help with so we can get out of the house on time?

What can I help you with today?

And then there were,

And then I was running around the other day and my kids,

This is how we've been doing this for a couple of weeks now.

My kids started,

My,

This was my oldest and my youngest.

I forget which one said,

Mommy,

What can,

Can I help you with something?

Or I say,

Hey,

Can you help me?

Can you fill this?

You're all,

Are you ready?

You're completely ready.

Can you help me do this?

Okay.

Go do this and take care of this.

Okay.

That's going to be a big help for me.

I'm going to go get this done.

And then I'll say,

I'm ready.

What can I help you with?

What can I do to help you today?

So that we're working together as a team so that it's not individual,

But we've got a goal.

So we all set the goal together.

We need to leave the house at 75.

What's the goal.

What's the top thing that we need to do.

How are we going to do it?

And what's the reward when we do do it?

So they're little,

So I'm giving them a reward for getting donuts after five days.

I don't know if I said that.

Laying out clothes the night before we place all items needed in the same.

Yeah.

Wake up earlier than I always wake up earlier in my family.

Yep.

And you know what?

Just me and the dog and a cup of tea.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

So my husband and I wake up at 4 30 in the morning.

The kids have been waking up.

What does she say?

I give myself time in the morning to meditate and get myself in a good mindset.

Looking at how I want to be.

Yeah.

Oh,

I've been waking up before my kids for years.

It's huge.

It gives me that time for me to get done what I need to do.

So I get up,

I meditate,

I look at my planner,

I see what I have for the day.

I do some reading.

Sometimes I will like,

Depending on time,

Like I have to check an email or I have a task that needs to be done.

Like I got to pay this bill or I want to do this really quick.

I have 10 to 15 minutes.

I will actually get that out of the way early in the morning.

Then I go work out,

Get my stuff done.

And it's usually from the workout to the shower and getting out of the door,

But we had to figure out what we need to do.

So for me,

I said to the kids,

Okay,

We need to pack snacks and you did waters.

What I need to do is I was like,

I need to pack my lunch and all my food.

If I'm going into the office the night before,

Because I can't be doing it the morning of that's one of the things.

So we're,

We're really doing trial and error of what works for us and what doesn't.

And each of us has a task that says,

What can we do better tomorrow to do this?

And I'll ask the kids and say,

What can you do a little bit better tomorrow that will make the next morning much easier and smoother?

And they'll come up with their own solution of I can pack my bag before I turn the TV on.

Cause they like to watch TV in the morning.

That's fine.

I don't care.

You want to watch TV,

But you've got to make sure you're ready and dressed.

Yeah.

Oh,

Thank you guys for your donations.

I really,

I really,

Really appreciate it.

Oh,

Thank you,

Angie.

Sometimes they don't show up,

But you will get a personal thank you from me every single time.

I have to too.

I just take my time getting up.

I need to be more intentional and be more prepping than I before.

Yes.

Yeah.

And that's me choose one thing,

Choose one thing and say,

What can I do better tomorrow morning to make this a little bit smoother?

For me,

It was,

I got to start my workout by 6 15.

I got to make sure.

So that means let me work backwards.

That means I need to be dressed and ready to go at 6.

00 AM.

And then I can,

Uh,

My youngest uses an alarm clock.

My oldest,

I still wake him up.

You can get him in one.

It should be the opposite,

But it's not.

So I usually wake him up before I go downstairs.

But if I'm completely ready,

I can go downstairs and get that done.

And it's just one thing.

What can I do to pack my snacks and food the night before,

So that it's easier to throw it all in the bag and put out the door.

But if you try to do everything,

You're going to overwhelm yourself.

So pick one thing.

And that's what I've done with the kids.

And I say,

What's one thing you can do better tomorrow morning.

I can make sure I'm dressed and I have my socks and shoes on tomorrow morning.

Awesome.

Do that tomorrow morning.

I can pack my snack in my bag tomorrow morning.

Yeah.

Oh,

Becca,

What can we do to encourage it's like timer to select you?

I have no idea.

I'm working on it.

I have the thing up to apply.

I know they've been working on some things.

They keep,

They sent emails out not too long ago for it.

So I'm actually going to stop the recording.

I should have stopped it a while ago.