Find a comfortable position,
Whether you're sitting or lying down.
Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.
If you're listening to this today,
There's a good chance you're navigating Valentine's Day without a partner.
Perhaps you recently left a relationship that wasn't serving you.
Maybe you walked away from someone who was abusive or narcissistic.
Or perhaps you've simply chosen to be on your own for now.
And that's exactly where you need to be.
And yet everywhere you look today,
There are reminders.
Happy couples,
Flowers,
Celebrations.
And it can sting a little.
Even if you've chosen to be on your own.
That familiar ache of wondering if you made the right choice.
Let me tell you something from lived experience.
You are exactly where you need to be.
Take another deep breath with me.
First,
Let's acknowledge what's real.
It's okay to feel lonely today.
It's okay to see those couples and feel a twinge of sadness or even envy.
You're human.
These feelings don't mean you made the wrong choice.
They mean you're processing loss and change.
Which is exactly what healing looks like.
But here's something I want you to remember.
Peace is not the same as loneliness.
You may be alone today,
But you're not walking on eggshells.
You're not managing someone else's moods.
You're not wondering which version of them will show up today.
You're not shrinking yourself to keep the peace.
You're not questioning your own reality or sanity.
That silence you hear,
That's not emptiness.
That's freedom.
Let's be honest about what you walked away from.
If you left a narcissistic or abusive relationship,
You didn't leave love.
You left manipulation disguised as love.
You left chaos disguised as passion.
You left control disguised as care.
Real love doesn't make you feel crazy.
Real love doesn't require you to constantly defend your reality.
Real love doesn't leave you depleted,
Anxious and questioning your own worth.
And even if your relationship wasn't abusive,
Even if they were fundamentally a good person,
Sometimes two good people are simply wrong for each other.
Incompatibility isn't failure,
It's honesty.
Staying in a relationship that drains you,
That requires you to be less than who you are,
That creates constant friction,
That's not noble.
That's self-abandonment.
And you didn't fail by leaving,
You succeeded by choosing yourself.
Breathe that in.
You chose yourself.
So let's talk about what you have now.
What you've gained by being on your own.
You have your peace back.
Your nervous system isn't constantly activated.
You can relax in your own home.
You can breathe fully.
This peace is worth more than flowers,
More than dinner reservations,
More than gifts,
More than any Valentine's Day performance of love.
You have your time.
Time to rediscover who you are without someone else's needs,
Opinions or expectations drowning out your own voice.
Time to pursue things you enjoy without justification.
Time to be still.
Time to heal.
You have your energy.
All that energy you spent managing,
Fixing,
Understanding,
Excusing.
It's yours again.
You can invest it in yourself,
In your growth,
In your actual well-being.
You have your truth.
You don't have to twist yourself into shapes that don't fit anymore.
You don't have to pretend.
You don't have to perform.
You can be messy,
Confused,
Angry,
Joyful.
All of it.
Without anyone telling you you're too much or you're not enough.
You have space for genuine love to find you.
But first,
You need space to find yourself.
To give yourself the love you were giving away to someone who couldn't receive it properly.
Because here's what most people don't tell you.
The love you give yourself sets the standard for the love you'll accept from others.
When you learn to love yourself,
Truly love yourself,
With compassion and respect,
You become magnetic to the right kind of love.
Not because you're performing or proving your worth,
But because you already know your worth.
You're no longer seeking someone to complete you or validate you.
You're a whole on your own.
And that is when real love can find you.
So today,
On Valentine's Day,
I want you to practice something radical.
Giving yourself the love you deserve.
What would that look like?
Maybe it's trying a new recipe and cooking yourself a lovely meal.
Not just having the sad leftovers from the previous evening,
But something you actually want to eat.
Set the table,
Light a candle,
Honour yourself.
Maybe it's saying no to things that drain you,
And yes to things that fill you up.
Take a walk in nature,
Listen to your favourite music,
Read that book you've been meaning to read.
Rest without guilt.
Maybe it's speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you deeply love.
Not with criticism or impatience,
But with kindness.
You're doing so well.
Look how far you've come.
I'm proud of you for choosing peace.
I'm proud of you for choosing yourself.
Or maybe it's simply allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up today.
The sadness,
The relief,
The hope,
The grief,
All of it.
Without judgement,
Just letting it move through you.
You are not less valuable because you're alone today.
You are not less worthy of love because you're not receiving it from someone else right now.
In fact,
You're doing the most important love work there is.
Learning to be your own safe place.
Take one more deep breath with me.
You made the right choice.
Whether you left something harmful,
Or you simply chose yourself,
You made the brave choice.
The choice that honours your worth.
Today might feel hard,
But you are exactly where you need to be.
And the peace you have now,
The space to breathe,
The freedom to just be,
Now that's worth celebrating.
You are whole,
Just as you are.
You are worthy,
Just as you are.
And you are so much better off having chosen peace over performance.
Authenticity over approval.
Yourself over settling.
Happy Valentine's Day to you.
The most important love of your life.
Breathe.
Rest.
And be gentle with yourself.
You are doing beautifully.
