How vulnerability can unlock your journey to self-love.
What is vulnerability?
Vulnerability is having the courage to express yourself in a way that you can be seen,
Heard,
And understood.
Why is it important?
It helps build connection,
Sense of belonging,
Confidence,
Strengthens relationships,
And boosts self-acceptance.
Why would you shy away from vulnerability?
You may feel it leaves you open to being attacked,
Judged,
Or ostracized.
Or maybe you will feel isolated,
Disconnected,
Or anxious.
So how does lack of vulnerability develop?
Many times it starts in childhood.
Children usually feel open and free.
I remember feeling open and free at school.
I spoke up in class and answered questions.
I felt I was really smart.
Around 10 years old,
I started to get bullied for being quote-unquote too smart.
I learned early on that if I answered questions in class or told people personal things about myself,
My classmates would make fun of me.
I began to quote-unquote dumb down and put walls up around relationships.
I learned that if I'm too smart,
No one will like me.
I couldn't trust anyone.
So how does someone move past their fear or lack of vulnerability?
1.
Acknowledge you may have an issue with vulnerability.
Recognizing lack of vulnerability is getting in the way of loving and trusting yourself and others is key.
Do you find yourself holding back details with close friends?
Yes.
You don't need to be vulnerable with someone that you met yesterday.
So what about friends that you've been known for years and co-workers?
Do you feel yourself holding back thinking that they're going to judge you?
That they might abandon you?
That they're going to find out that maybe you're struggling with depression or anxiety or maybe your marriage is on the rocks?
2.
Address the fear of vulnerability head-on.
When you look back at your childhood,
Where the lack of vulnerability may have started,
Think of situations where you were being yourself and were judged for it.
When did you shut down?
When did the walls go up?
When did you stop trusting?
3.
Find someone to trust to be vulnerable with.
Is there someone in the life that never let you down?
Remember,
Vulnerability comes with openness attached with emotions.
Baby steps.
Start small.
Instead of,
I had a bad day at work,
Tell your family or friend that you dress,
Hey,
I had a bad day at work and I'm worried I'm going to get fired.
I'm really stressing.
People want to know that they are talking to a person,
Not a robot.
4.
See vulnerability as a strength,
Not a weakness.
Vulnerability is a strength.
You may think that vulnerability is a sign of weakness,
But it's not.
If someone told you that they had a life-threatening illness or was going to lose their job,
Would you see them as weak or would you see them as brave and full of strength?
5.
Vulnerability can make you feel more connected.
Think about a person,
An artist,
Actress,
Role model that you admire.
Do you connect with them because they just talk about what they're wearing and the weather?
Or do you connect with them because they are vulnerable,
Open,
And honest about themselves?
6.
Embrace who you are.
Are you goofy?
Are you nerdy?
Are you tall?
Are you short?
Are you a little awkward?
Embrace that part of you.
It takes too much work to be something that you're not,
To hide who you are.
When you're vulnerable,
You can just be yourself.
I hope this was helpful.
Unlocking your vulnerability can be the key to self-love.
When you are ready to be yourself without the fear of being judged,
Abandoned,
Or ostracized,
You are ready to embrace and love you as you are.
Thank you.
