Awareness Satsang: A Fresh Perspective On Our True Nature

Yeah,

It's lovely to see you.

Yeah,

Bless your hearts.

Yeah.

It's gonna,

There we go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So,

Sweet Ones,

I'm going to talk about reframing a little later on.

Because it's really important for your journey that you learn how to reframe things,

Reframe events in your life,

To come out of the storyline of your ego.

And to do that requires that you have at least some mental flexibility.

And that mental flexibility comes as you become more non-attached.

So,

It sounds kind of complicated,

But it's just done.

You guess,

You just get brought to it.

But I'm just spelling it out,

Because we're,

Most of us are Westerners.

And,

You know,

So we're,

Our head,

Our heads,

Right?

So we have to learn how to kind of manage our heads and work with steering towards the surrender into truth.

So some of you know about reframing,

It's a NLP neuro linguistic programming thing.

And it,

It's really where this one reframed all my spiritual difficulty coming into this knowledge into kind of like,

Uh,

A heroic step into truth,

You know,

Just listening to this,

Okay,

Whether you understand it or not,

Just,

Just listen,

Be present.

It will,

The understanding will emerge later on.

If you don't have it now,

It will emerge in the future.

And it's a important building block for the journey,

Though.

So,

Sweethearts,

I,

My feeling is there is enormous,

Not enormous,

There's resistance,

A fair amount of resistance.

And I want to spell out things that,

As we learn to witness,

It's easier to overcome our resistance.

At the beginning,

We're hostage to our resistance,

We're in it.

And we don't see it.

Like yesterday at the question and answer.

A dear one was talking about being in a tower.

And,

But she could see signs of spring with the windows in,

The windows in the beginning,

You know,

The windows at the top.

And so somebody's just entered the waiting room.

This is where it's like,

It's difficult for me.

It's just,

Everybody needs to be on time,

You know,

It's just non-negotiable.

It just interrupts energy.

Bless your heart,

Sai.

Yeah,

And I said,

Look,

Just open the door and come out of the tower.

It's the tower of Babel.

It's the watchtower.

We get stuck in our heads in the tower.

Okay,

So you come out into feet on the ground into the sunshine.

Okay.

So this is probably befuddling some of your heads,

Just be with it.

I want to spotlight how resistance plays out.

So if we're resistant to ourselves,

We will play all kinds of games with the teacher,

Which is very understandable.

And it's not like a sin,

But I want to shine lights on it.

Because if you can see what you're doing,

You can grow faster.

So one of the things this one encounters is the be a deep conversation on the phone with somebody,

And they'll start talking about their experience with some other teacher and what that teacher said to them.

However long ago or whatever,

Like,

Like a non-ama teacher,

You see.

And I will,

It's the experience of,

You know,

If you're at a party,

And you're giving somebody's your attention,

And they are always looking for who's coming through the door,

Who's better than you to talk to,

And it is coming from great insecurity on their part,

It's really got nothing to do with you.

But you know,

You feel like you just don't want to talk to this person anymore,

If they're not giving you your full,

Their full attention.

It is the same principle as a teacher,

It's like to expect the teacher to give you like transmissions of knowledge.

If you're treating the transmission this way,

It's,

It's,

It's not good work.

So to witness it.

You know,

If you if you,

If you start doing it,

Witness it.

Okay,

There's another one.

And I'm another thing that's come up.

And I'm,

This is a very dear,

Sincere seeker,

And I'm going to embarrass this person by saying it.

But so,

This was an experience where I spent two hours,

I've,

I've spent a lot of time energetically with this person.

I spent two hours on the phone,

This one with big focus,

Big focus.

And,

You know,

There was a she's in a difficult shift outside her moving outside her ego.

And this is totally understood,

There's no blame and everything.

But this person sent me a video from some,

I don't know,

Some teacher on the internet and asked me to tell you a guy about this video,

Because how useful it was.

I'm like,

Well,

You tell them if you really feel it's so useful,

But asking your teacher to bring some video from somebody,

The teacher is and asking them to,

To promote this,

It's,

It is,

Again,

This major dissing of the transmission coming from the teacher from the teacher's effort and focus on your soul and your ego material to help you out of it.

And it's,

I really have to call this is like,

It's,

It's a measure of what this dear one is doing inside herself,

You see,

She's trying to control her own soul.

When,

When students try to control this one,

It's like they're trying to control their own soul.

And it's like,

It's,

See it,

Please.

You know,

This work is so friendly,

A friendly face to it.

They're a human face unusually.

And this is intended,

Because there's such a common feeling of that the,

You know,

That the people feel so bad about themselves and their human experience and the friendliness and the embrace of the human experience that is so much a part of this work is to help you realize that you are part of God,

Just as you are.

But the downside is,

In its kind of generosity,

It gets dissed,

Just like we will diss mom,

The same,

What we got going with the feminine,

We diss it.

And I just really want to say,

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

To,

To,

To be able to come to this knowledge is just an extraordinary feat of devotion and surrender.

God does not come cheap.

Yeah.

Please.

You know,

If you're not honoring the transmission that comes through that you're not going to get the information,

You're not going to get the love,

You're not going to get the help.

And again,

You know,

These things can turn into personality cults.

And that is the opposite.

Not wanting that at all.

It's useless.

And that's,

Again,

More of this,

You know,

Witnessing one of the things that happens is that sometimes dear ones,

Out of their own insecurity about whether God really exists,

They try to get close to this one on a personality level,

Because they don't really trust.

But that does not work and will get discouraged.

It's to,

It's to see the God in you.

And any teacher,

Any authentic teacher,

You will get close to that teacher as you discover your own inner truth as you sink into the truth of you as you surrender to the truth of you just as a byproduct,

You,

You will understand the teacher and where they're coming from and why they're saying what they're saying.

Yeah,

And everybody,

It's all good.

It's all good.

You guys are all beloved.

It's just you're beautiful.

It's like,

This one remembers,

You know,

Like I say,

You know,

There's so many potholes that this one fell into this no blame,

But I really want to shine a light on it because it's stopping progress.

And it's,

It's not that pleasant for me.

This one is not that pleasant,

But it's okay.

It's just doesn't matter really.

I just I just want the knowledge to get transmitted.

And for you guys to feel your true nature being validated and to learn how to,

You know,

Embrace your egos with compassion.

Okay,

This is so needed.

I know it's so hard for you guys.

You were taught this,

You know,

Bad or good.

We and we try to like cut off parts of our ego with a saw.

And it's like,

It doesn't work.

You have to understand yourself over time.

You patiently understand why you are as you are,

And why maybe,

You know,

The,

There's a tendency to keep making the same mistakes over and over.

It's like,

This is what it's like.

The same mistakes occur over and over.

But every time we're going up.

Up.

It's good.

It's good.

It's funny,

They're more in the waiting room,

And I can't let them in.

It's just,

This work is so soft.

And if,

You know,

These basic boundaries,

If I don't stay true to them,

The work just goes sideways.

Within us,

We all have a sorrow.

And the sorrow is the same sorrow of Mother Nature.

And you look how we treat her.

And this is what we're doing to ourselves.

You know,

This is what we end up doing to our teachers.

Remember,

Amma,

I don't know if she still does this,

But for years and years and years,

She gave out,

You know,

Mantras.

And people would lose the paper and forget it,

You know,

And come back,

And she'd give them another,

Like a patience.

And it is so sacred to get a mantra from a teacher.

And then that it would be forgotten,

Or trashed.

And it's what we're doing to Mother Nature.

And it's what we're doing to our own true natures.

And this is what is very heartbreaking for,

Very heartbreaking.

But we're,

We're,

We don't know we're,

We're brought up in this outward focus culture.

It's like,

We're,

It takes time.

It takes time to get it.

That's it.

Please,

I mean,

The worst,

You know,

The worst nightmare is if you leave this satsang feeling low about this.

That's not what's wanted.

It's for you to get how loved you are.

To begin to get the bigger understanding,

The bigger picture,

And be better able to self observe.

Like a pregnant woman,

She has one eye on her inner experience.

And whether the baby's kicking or not,

Or if it's been like two days,

It's the baby's been kicking.

And one eye on the outward tasks.

It's living like that.

So,

You know,

With the reframe,

As I said,

It's a concept from neuro linguistic programming and doesn't matter the biggest mistake of your life can be reframed to being your biggest bravest step.

Yeah.

It's to have the mental flexibility to be able to see yourself in through different lenses,

And to see your life through different lenses.

Not just be stuck in.

Like that tower that I was talking about a tower of thought.

For those who didn't come yesterday,

I was talking about how the feminine mind will create towers.

It's like think of the fairy tales,

You know,

Being stuck in the tower,

The heroine stuck in the tower,

Like stuck in our thought high off the ground.

When we realize this,

We can open the door out of the tower.

We come back to life with a capital L,

It becomes very simple.

We're just part of the earth,

We're on the ground.

When we're part of the earth and on the ground,

It's easier to reframe our experience.

It doesn't matter what your what your fault is,

What the fault is,

It can be reframed.

And if you're doing it from an innocent heart,

It will help you.

So for example,

Somebody who may have a tendency towards laziness,

The positive aspect is,

They may be intended for a lot of contemplation this life to understand.

It's a contemplative.

And let's see.

Now,

You can't just if you're feeling lazy,

Just go,

Well,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm,

I'm good,

Because I'm actually a contemplative personality.

I'm not talking about superimposing something on,

You know,

An underlying feeling of bad and then putting a good thing on top of it.

I'm talking about really a change of heart for yourself,

Letting in fresh air,

Opening the windows of the mind,

Like Alma talks about the doors and windows of the mind,

And seeing things differently.

So you might see and feel that yeah,

You're predisposed to be a contemplative personality.

And maybe there's,

You know,

The other side of that can be a tendency towards laziness,

Sometimes like,

Oh,

Well.

See,

To do this,

You have to be able to see that the miserable sinner thing is useless,

And is trapping you in your heads.

Like I said,

You know,

If you're going to watch TV,

Which again,

Isn't the best,

It is a form of staying asleep.

But if you're going to do it,

Then just go.

Keep remembering,

I will to will,

I will just like,

You know,

Kind of work with yourself and in an embracing way.

You know,

Alma will say,

Alma has said that if you,

You know,

If you feel you have to do something that's a bad habit,

Bless it.

Before you do it.

Want to talk about the reframe again,

It's like,

Maybe you feel like an outsider.

Maybe you felt like an outsider your whole life.

Well,

Outsiders bring the biggest gifts that the collective needs.

Without the outsiders bringing the gift,

The collective gets too narrow.

Every time someone,

An outsider honors themselves,

Brings their gift,

The collective gets,

You think of it like the heart of the collective gets bigger.

Yeah.

It's like,

Play there,

Play on the side of the best of you.

You know,

I was,

I've said before,

Abraham talked about,

Speak the best of you and other people.

And I just put a video out about the importance of honoring our parents.

Because if we can honor our parents,

We can honor ourselves.

You know,

If we see,

You know,

Any bit of goodness or greatness in them,

See that and acknowledge it.

You know,

As well as acknowledge the bad stuff,

But see the goodness and the greatness in them,

And then you can live it out more.

You know,

This work is really around helping to free people enough,

They can walk the journey,

But they can actually start climbing.

Whatever your frailty is,

If you allow your mind to become very broad,

Broad minds.

Alma said that the need for our minds to broaden is really one of the biggest needs.

So that we can accept ourselves and give our gift.

If your mind is too narrow,

You can't accept yourself.

You can do a phony job.

And pass off as a good spiritual student,

You know,

But the Creator in you knows.

We can't fool the Creator in us,

We can't fool the Alma in us.

I remember somebody saying to me,

Some counselors,

Really early days,

And she said to me,

You know,

Janet,

You're just addicted to feeling bad about yourself.

But it was true.

It was my addiction.

Which I see,

You know,

Some of you are like doing the same thing.

And the thing is this,

You know,

Okay,

Here's old souls,

The ones with the most lifetimes,

The most with the expanse of grandmother and grandfather energy are the ones who are most likely to struggle with depression and to feel bad about themselves because they walk to a different drum than the current majority of souls on the earth plane.

There's a reframe.

Pretty much everybody who would come to this kind of satsang will be an old soul,

Or a late level,

Mature level,

You know,

Won't attract souls with fewer lifetimes.

So please credit yourself.

You know,

Alma said a few years ago,

You know,

The compassionate people were dying off because of what was going on on the earth.

And you see,

It is,

You know,

Get it,

We're in the darkest Kali Yuga time,

We're in the darkest time of humanity.

We never get worse than this.

So,

You know,

The old soul tendency to,

You know,

Have,

You know,

Let's,

Instead of the younger soul,

Oh,

I win,

You lose,

Older souls go,

Oh,

You win,

I win,

You know,

Like both win,

Win,

Win,

That's the way to go forward with win,

Win,

Which is when you're bringing in the creator's energy,

That is what happens,

It's win,

Win.

But,

You know,

In this era where it's not common,

I remember,

You know,

I told you in my early days with dealing with real estate,

Then when it came time to sell,

That was my biggest difficulty,

Because I would be in win,

Win,

You win,

I win,

And the other person would be in,

You know,

They win,

I lose.

And it was like,

Oh,

My goodness,

The innocent abroad in the bad city,

You know,

The hayseed in the big city,

Yeah.

Value yourselves.

You know,

We,

In our culture,

We've got this,

You know,

We talk about individualism and everything,

But actually,

It isn't.

It's actual conformity that's taught with a lip service to individuality.

You know,

So there's this,

Oh,

If you're having anxiety and everything,

Oh,

It's generational trauma,

Oh,

Yeah,

You poor soul.

And it's like,

How about support,

Actually clearing to the roots of the being so that this can be transcended.

It's actually a form of control.

You just kind of wrap up the whole population,

And you kind of encourage them to just feel really sorry for themselves and stuck under a huge mountain of generational trauma.

And sure,

It can feel like a huge mountain,

But if this one had stayed in that place,

She wouldn't be speaking to you today.

It's like,

This one chose to be true to herself.

No matter what.

There was just the vague hope.

It's like I had this feeling that if I kept doing what I was doing,

I knew the outcome,

Which would be like tears and sorrow.

Or if I stepped out in this new way in support of the heart,

That there was maybe hope that something could be different.

Just a hope.

It was so thin,

It was as tiny as a hair.

But this one kept going.

See,

You're at all kinds of levels.

And,

You know,

Most of us are far more stuck in our head than we want to realize.

But it doesn't even matter if you are,

It's kind of like,

You will just make progress.

And you will just be brought out of it,

Into your heart.

You just will,

Please.

If you are sincere,

You will.

It can't help but go that way.

See,

It is that deep sincerity and yearning within you that wins.

You know,

Back to reframing.

I remember I had a really good,

I loved her very much,

My friend in high school.

And she was tiny.

She was like,

She was about five foot seven.

She's about my height,

But she was like small boned and 117 pounds,

110 pounds.

And I used to look at her hands,

And they were so beautiful.

And I would look at mine and my wrist,

And I really hated my hands.

I can't tell you,

I hated them.

So I hated them from the time I was like about 14 till the time I was about 36,

Which is a long time to hate your hands.

And at that point,

I started studying with Abraham.

I was around there,

36,

38.

And this one's hands were so useful for doing massage.

Yeah.

And this one's muscular body,

Big bones was really useful for,

You know,

Chopping wood,

All the stuff that we did in this training to bring us back to the simplicity of the aboriginal experience of being a human being,

Which is what this one's supporting you energetically,

Returning to gradually.

It's the place where you're just,

You're in your soul,

And you're a human being,

And you are beyond any culture.

You love the earth,

As an expression of the divine.

So you see,

That's how this one,

The reframing,

The reframing from these strong hands that were,

I considered ugly,

To,

Ah,

I get why this one was born with strong hands.

This is a,

Please,

You guys.

And these,

This kind of level is an experiential level.

It,

It was a body understanding when I came to peace about my hands.

And you get those body understandings when,

When you're really sincere in the journey,

You see.

But it takes time to get there,

Because we've had many lifetimes,

Maybe,

Where it was not safe to evolve.

Just great,

Great compassion for yourselves and patience.

You know,

If you can,

The thing is,

You see,

If you can just be patient and accept yourself where you are,

What happens,

The joke is,

You get lifted up the mountain.

Really,

It's like,

It's like you get pulled up,

All of a sudden,

You make a leap.

Oh,

Really,

It is like this.

And it might come after a period of like,

Where you,

You know,

You're just going like,

What the hell's going on?

If you want to grow,

Focus on gratitude,

Helps a lot.

Do you know,

Gratitude was always the hardest for me.

It's like,

There was so much for this one to be grateful for.

And you know,

I didn't see it.

Didn't see it at all.

It's only in retrospect,

Where I see how totally taken care of this one was.

You know,

All the stuff that feels like hard work is very excellent.

So,

You know,

Gratitude was hard for me to focus on.

But,

You know,

If I'd focused on it more,

I might have grown faster.

It's sort of like,

You know,

Doing the thousand names every day,

You know,

It's,

It's very excellent.

It's,

You know,

I'd always find Allah says,

You know,

If you wait till your mind is happy doing spiritual practices,

You'll wait forever.

You know,

There's a,

There's just that,

You know,

Taking the medicine,

You know,

Swallowing the cod liver oil.

When you feel heavy,

Your ego's up.

When you feel light,

You're clearing.

You're clearing.

So,

You know,

This one,

This one's light as a feather.

And I didn't used to be like this.

Any heaviness you feel is the ego.

Just knowing that,

Embrace it.

Imagine yourself in Amma's body.

You know,

Having the mental flexibility to just do stuff like that,

Imagine being inside her body,

It's just very accelerated.

Even if you're feeling like you're the biggest sinner in the world,

You know,

Just do it.

It's funny,

The imagination can really speed your progress if you use imagination well,

But then we even have to let go of imagination to experience our divinity.

See,

Sometimes we try to carry our imagination into the experience of our divinity and that will just invite ego.

You can use imagination to get there.

It's a very strong,

Very good tool.

And women particularly are good at this kind of thing.

And then let go of it and just be in your divinity,

Just be a soul in human form.

And you'll know when you make these shifts,

You guys,

The data is unmistakable.

You know,

A really important thing is just really watch that constant,

Miserable sinner stuff.

Please watch it because if you can see it,

You can't be trapped by it so much.

It's your ticket out to be able to see what you're doing.

You know,

I was speaking to a dear one yesterday and she got this feeling in her heart of,

Oh,

I'll never be able to do it.

And you see,

If we don't witness it,

We're victim of it.

If we witness it,

That lessens its power over us.

Does anybody have any questions or comments or thoughts?

You know,

Any human being has made so many mistakes that to their ego,

There's no chance of enlightenment.

Okay.

I really hear what I'm saying.

Any human being has made so many mistakes to the logic of the ego,

Enlightenment,

Or even progress might seem impossible.

Okay.

Okay.

That is pure ego.

You are a divine being.

You have actually never made a mistake in your life.

You are having a dream.

This is a dream.

And the more that you can develop a new center of gravity that's a little more dispassionate about what's going on in the dream,

The more progress you'll make.

It's just a dream.

It has no enduring reality.

But our human experiences were in it.

And it seems to be reality.

The truth is,

We're totally unaffected by these goings on.

We are just witnessing.

Our souls are witnessing us.

You know,

With enlightenment,

They talk about that when you move into self-realization,

You become aware of the reality.

You become aware of the reality.

You become aware of the witness.

And it's true.

The witness is totally present with you all the time.

You feel it.

But before enlightenment,

The witness is still there.

You just can't feel it because your ego's in the way.

That's all.

But the witness is still there.

Your soul is witnessing all of this.

And as the fear gets reduced over time,

You will feel it more and more.

You'll feel more periods of sunshine.

You'll feel more periods of peace.

You guys,

It is a long haul,

Except for very few people who come in with very little garbage.

Yeah.

I'm getting this picture of us all,

Like,

Sitting around a campfire,

Waiting for dawn to break,

Really,

In a way.

Yeah.

But you see,

The darkness is just an illusion.

The sun's there.

If you're wanting to grow,

Make sure that you ask that you get,

That it's as gentle as possible,

And that you get all the support you need.

And also ask for grace,

And also ask to be willing,

To be deeply willing.

Some of you are not deeply willing,

But you're trying to be,

And you're trying to evolve.

But underneath,

You're not deeply willing.

This is why we need the time.

We need the time to see,

Oh,

I thought I was willing,

But I had these 10 withholds that were operating.

This is what we're like.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We just need the patience.

Patience.

Utter patience.

And you see,

The soul is infinitely patient.

So,

What happens on the journey,

You get,

Become more and more patient,

The more you're actually bonding with your true nature.

You get it?

Yeah.

To the extent we're impatient,

We're actually caught in our egos.

And we might feel very frightened of missing out on enlightenment this life,

But the truth is,

Our ego is terrified of enlightenment this life.

So,

Our fears are often picture,

It's the opposite thing going on underneath.

We think we're scared of not loving,

But our egos are scared of loving,

Because our egos are built on the feeling that God does not exist,

You guys.

Do you see,

This is the wrap.

It's a little kid.

We didn't feel our families got the truth of us.

You know,

99% of the cases,

Right?

Right.

We build our power,

Our edifice on,

God does not exist,

We're not valued,

There's something wrong with us.

Because if there wasn't something wrong with us,

Then mommy and daddy would be more patient with us.

You know?

It's insolvable with our minds.

We just,

It gets solved as a byproduct of the experience of life.

And,

You know,

Having an intent,

A strong intent to grow,

It just gets solved.

You just get brought up higher.

It's,

You know,

The takeaway is just please get that to be a sincere seeker,

As sincere as you can be at this time,

Is as perfect as a human being gets.

Please,

It's being perfect in your imperfections.

You're,

You know,

You're on the journey,

You're wishing to embody light and share it.

That is as good as we get.

And just as time goes on,

That light in us gets stronger,

And our ego withholds,

Fall away.

With every breakthrough you go through,

There will be a time of darkness afterwards,

As integration comes.

As you understand that,

You'll learn not to take it so seriously.

But it takes time to learn not to take it so seriously.

In fact,

Even if you know that it's integration,

You might feel with 99% of yourself very,

Very uncomfortable.

It might be just the size of a mustard seed that knows that you're integrating into more truth.

Our greatest strengths will be our greatest weakness,

And the reverse is true.

It's this broad understanding of yourself that will help you just be at peace with yourself.

Many of you have got a feeling like,

Oh,

I have to fit into the box of this culture,

Or else I won't survive.

And your journey gets stalled there.

And it's,

It's not true.

It's not true.

You know,

There's a Chinese saying that if you just go along with eating the same food as everybody else,

And dressing as everybody else,

You can do what you want.

I love that.

There are lots of enlightened people around who,

You know,

I'm sure people just aren't aware that they're enlightened.

But the enlightened people are just quietly living their lives,

Sharing where they can.

You know,

Most of us underneath where we were operating that I'm a cog in the big machine,

And it's not safe to wake up.

And,

You know,

For women in the patriarchy,

It is it can be so difficult,

Because this to awaken,

We have to recover the emotional material from,

You know,

Of the repressed feminine can come up,

And it can be so uncomfortable.

And there's really,

You know,

My experience is not much support for excavating at that level.

But again,

We have to want to get through it.

There's some people who are hovering around in like,

You know,

Loving the sewage.

It's like,

Don't love the sewage,

Witness it.

Don't start playing in it.

Or,

You know,

We can sometimes go into like,

Try to get power through playing in the sewage.

Like I'll tell you,

What human beings can do with this stuff is they don't want to do that you want to witness any fear and rage that comes up witness it.

Don't play in it.

Or try not to play in it.

I mean,

Realize how much it does not work to play in it.

You just get dirty.

It's coming up to being released.

It's showing you the disowned feminine.

So allow Amma's grace to shower,

Shower all the stuff off her,

So that her true goddess nature becomes visible.

I don't know what it's like for guys with the evolving,

But maybe it's similar.

But this one certainly knows what it's like to access the disowned feminine energy and experience the state of her and how ugly she looks.

And how difficult it is to just keep putting your arms around yourself and just being with it and allowing,

It's like Amma's grace,

The Creator's grace to shower all the sewage off so her goddess nature becomes evident and felt right.

It feels like there is a seamless understanding that's wanting to arise up in you guys.

Do you remember a few weeks ago,

Or not recently,

I was talking about that you were going to get dreams,

Whether you remembered them or not,

To help you with bringing this knowledge in.

So just relax with it.

You're in motion.

You're making progress.

It's happening.

It's as if there's a seamless understanding that's wanting to rise up in yourselves.

Just be with it all.

Sometimes we watch it with our heads so much that we're digging the seed up all the time because we're watching,

We're vigilant,

We're doing the watchtower,

Watching our progress.

Do you get it?

If you're in a watchtower,

Watching your progress,

It will be very hard for seeds to sprout because it's a form of digging up the seed to see if it's sprouting or not.

Remember,

I'm speaking to the Creator in you,

The Amma in you,

And she is invincible.

In the battle between the Amma inside and your ego,

The Amma inside will win.

I remember a counselor saying to me,

I guess it was a channel,

Was saying,

The only thing that can stop you,

Janet,

Is you thinking that your head can stop you.

Do you get it?

Really,

Get this.

The only thing that can stop you,

Janet,

Is if you think that your head can stop your progress.

Yes,

Right.

See,

Thinking that your head can stop your progress is one of the places the ego loves to cultivate.

If it can persuade you that,

It can slow down your growth.

Your soul is the boss.

Your soul is running the show.

There's a lot in this satsang,

And there's another thing I'm wanting to talk about,

Which is the experience of walking into a wall.

So,

When walls within you are clearing,

Or the veil is clearing between you and your soul,

Or another way of putting it is when you as your soul is dissolving these veils,

These walls in you,

In your body,

You will feel stiff,

Stuck.

Everything's a bit meaningless.

Your movements may even become very graceless.

Just witness,

Keep praying,

And you get brought through it.

Now,

This is higher up in the mountain than some of you,

But just hearing it,

And who knows,

Maybe your soul,

You're at one of those spots where your soul's just going to be lifting you up the mountain,

A big chunk.

Do you know,

It happens.

You suddenly make a leap.

But it's kind of being very present with your human experience and noticing all this stuff,

Like I'm talking about,

Like noticing that your movements are out of alignment,

Or that you're clumsy,

Or that you feel stiff.

Just noticing without doing anything about it.

Just be with it.

Keep praying.

You know,

Remember,

I will to will thy will,

You know.

Some of the things aren't really talked about in the journey,

Like when we're moving through these veils,

Our outer surroundings can look very dark to us.

Just where we're living might look dark and shabby.

Yeah,

We might think that physically we're looking ugly.

All these perceptions can come,

And just keep speaking to the Creator,

And we come out of the shift,

And everything is back to beauty again.

I read about this couple,

And they got divorced,

And then they got together again,

And they moved into a house that was much shabbier,

And I can't remember why,

Than their house that they had originally started off their marriage in.

And the woman was self-aware enough to notice that it was kind of reflecting the state of their emotional partnership,

That their partnership had diminished,

The quality of it had diminished.

And she could be with it,

And what happened is,

Over time,

They moved to a very pleasant surroundings.

So it was like,

You know,

Innocence,

Innocence lost,

And then innocence regained.

And they went through this physically.

The journey is so much bigger than our heads,

You guys.

Our journeys cannot be contained by our heads.

You know,

The more we accept ourselves,

The more broad-minded,

And the less demanding we get about others being perfect.

Having to be perfect.

We just,

We let everything be more as it is.

I hope you are very gentle with yourselves this week,

Please.

Not indulgent,

Gentle.

Gentle.

If eating ourselves worked,

We'd be,

I'll be enlightened,

You know?

And for the mums,

You know,

It's like you're permissioned to just,

Just permission,

Just to be with however it is,

You guys.

You know,

Your kids will feel every breakthrough into your heart.

Your kids will fan the flame.

They will tell you how you are doing.

I remember John,

When he was eight,

He said to me,

Mum,

You're winning.

I went,

Oh,

Thank God.

He was witnessing me.

You're winning,

Mum.

One of the things,

You know,

I,

I say,

Oh,

I missed the boat with my kids a bit,

But I'm being too,

I'm shining a light on the potholes.

It was,

This is what raising my kids was like.

Remember taking them to taekwondo where they were doing taekwondo and it was some tournament.

And as we walk in,

I vaguely think to myself,

Oh,

I hope the boys do well.

Like,

It wasn't like,

Oh,

I hope the boys do well.

It was just kind of like,

I hope the boys do well.

And my redhead son turned to me and said,

Mum,

Don't be such a hockey mum.

He got the thought transmission.

I was raising a couple of shamans.

This was like hair raising because they saw all the faults.

I remember too,

This,

You know,

They never would bother me during when we were doing the two hour sessions,

I worked with body work with people and um,

They never knocked on the door once.

And from the time that they were four and six,

They never disturbed a session,

Even without me.

I don't think I ever told them.

They just knew.

But one time again,

This redhead son of mine,

It's like I came out of the session and then I,

I kind of moved quickly to the boys because I was aware that I hadn't been with them and want to see how they were doing.

And,

You know,

I guess he was about nine,

10 and he,

You know,

We'd studied with Abraham.

So we,

He knew about shamans and he said,

Mum,

You're not such a good shaman because you just rushed out of the room and came to talk to us without taking time.

Like,

What the hell?

Oh my God.

I felt very judged at the time about just trying to be a good mother.

So that was what raising the boys was like.

We're just human.

You guys are just human.

And,

You know,

This one worried a lot about the boys and it's like,

Both of them are like,

Fine.

Yeah.

They're functioning.

They're fine.

They've got their heartaches,

They've got their difficulties,

But they've got their strengths too.

And they've got a resilience coming from this childhood of theirs.

And you know,

The funny thing is that when we were,

And I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about.

In our family line,

There's a very heavy fundamentalist streak.

It was actually very difficult for this one to get over,

But it came through my dad's genetics and both my brothers became very,

You know,

One was a Jehovah's Witness for a while.

Another one decided that his particular church in New York was the big source of truth and that every other church in the world wasn't as good as his church.

Now,

These guys had very high IQs,

You guys.

This boggles my mind.

This shows the blindness of stuff coming down.

But I remember,

You know,

That I was speaking to my sister-in-law and she was talking about how,

You know,

Basically they knew the way and I was like,

The shamanic work was not respected.

And then right in front of us,

My boys,

The two boys with the children,

Were acting like Christ figures basically faced with the mean daughters,

You see.

I saw my boys actually being so generous from the heart and expressing love.

And what they were getting back wasn't that.

And I thought,

Oh man,

Are we ever mixed up about religion and our beliefs,

You know?

Yeah.

So we,

You know,

It's a big stew on the earth right now.

And,

You know,

The Buddhists would say that,

You know,

It's a fire,

The earth is on fire,

And,

You know,

Basically it's the egos burning off.

The earth is on fire.

It is unfixable in a way.

We can do our best to express God's nature,

But we're here to have these egos burned off.

So it's always going to look messy.

To some degree,

You can have a golden age where most people are living in truth,

But also we are here for our egos to burn off.

So there's stuff that goes on on the earth plane that looks like God doesn't exist,

But it's just the egos burning off.

It's souls making mistakes and learning.

And the thing is that if we do something really horrible and we suffer a great deal as a result,

Then we have a tendency never to go near that kind of thing again.

We get,

Even in future lives,

We don't make that mistake again.

I mean,

This is how we progress.

In fact,

You know,

This one,

I experienced like a feeling as if that in my 30s that I had a soul crisis,

That it was a beyond a personal crisis.

It was actually a soul crisis.

And I still don't fully understand that,

But it was as if that there was something that my soul even then was having a learning curve on,

Which I don't understand,

But I will.

So be it.

I understand it before I die.

Okay.

Well,

You guys all seem pretty monosyllabic.

So unless there's any comment or question,

It's been a beautiful satsang.

And thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you for coming and sharing your energy.

Yeah.

Joining in this,

Sharing your energy,

Your love.

It's great gratitude for your presence.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And great empathy for what it's like sometimes,

You guys.

Please,

Utter empathy.

Okay.

Bye.