Awareness Satsang: Surrender Into Truth

Hey,

Blessings,

Blessings.

Oh,

It's lovely.

It's always lovely to see your sweet faces.

Just sweet ones.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You've been you always are on my mind during the week.

And your faces bubble up.

Individually,

Your faces will bubble up.

And I'll send love.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Okay,

So some of us are here with Alma.

And it's just unbelievable,

As always.

Well,

You know,

The love.

Yeah.

I really want to spotlight some things.

And I'm going to talk about something that happened here at the program,

Because it points to exactly where we spiritual seekers can get a little lost.

Okay.

So,

I was doing,

Somebody asked me to do security.

And I had been sitting in front of Alma for like three hours.

I just wanted to go to my room.

So,

I kind of,

I didn't really say anything.

He looked at me went,

Oh,

It's too much right now.

That's okay.

So,

I didn't have to say no.

But anyway,

So,

I got up to my room,

And I felt like Alma wanted me to like get in the trenches,

And that I wasn't to be a hothouse flower,

Right?

So,

I went down and volunteered and got security.

So,

I was doing the jewelry.

And while I was there,

I was very focused on a young man who was trying on rings for I guess 20 minutes.

And he would put a whole bunch on his fingers and take them off.

And I didn't have a bad feeling about him or anything,

But it was kind of a textbook way if you're going to like steal jewelry.

You just kind of have rings on,

You know,

On and off.

But again,

I didn't have a bad feeling,

But Alma had said that people,

You know,

Steal things and then bring them up to be blessed.

So,

Anyway,

At the end of this 20 minutes or so,

He finally made his decision.

And the lovely young woman who was at the,

You know,

Kind of the checkout or,

You know,

Sitting at the table,

And I,

We both kind of laughed gently,

Kind of in relief,

Really,

And made kind of a joking comment.

Now,

This guy was offended.

Like,

He obviously was feeling fragile because there was just great gentleness coming.

But yeah,

He was offended.

And,

You know,

Then he walked off.

And then,

Like,

Kind of shocked,

Offended,

You know?

And I said to the woman,

I said,

Oh,

We heard his feelings.

And she said,

Oh,

It's just perfect the way it is.

And I'm sitting there going,

Okay,

This does not compute.

And I'm going like,

Oh,

I've seen this many times.

So,

After about 10 minutes,

I gently spoke to this really lovely woman.

Like,

Really,

She got a heart of gold.

I said,

You know,

Amma wouldn't say that it was just perfect if somebody had hurt feelings.

She'd hug them.

She'd respond.

And to this woman's credit,

And again,

I wasn't remonstrating with her,

Because,

Like,

I was just in the situation,

Too.

I was part of what upset the guy,

My comments.

So,

She immediately went into,

Oh,

I didn't do anything wrong.

Okay?

She immediately felt the only other place to stand other than,

Oh,

Everything's perfect,

Is,

Oh,

It's all my fault.

Okay.

And it's like,

I said,

Like,

I don't think it's anybody's fault.

But he was,

The gentleman was hurt.

And so,

I said,

I just started sending love to him,

Because I didn't have the feeling that any comment of mine was going to help if I went over to him and said,

Sorry.

It was just all going to make it worse.

Because really,

We had been very playful and loving.

And if he was hurt,

It was because he was feeling extremely vulnerable.

Okay.

So,

I really want to spotlight this,

Spotlight this,

Because this cutoff that she did,

Like,

Oh,

It's all perfect,

Is very,

Very widespread in Seekers.

It's as if,

You know,

And her feeling underneath that she'd done something wrong.

And it's sort of like,

When we're,

What this,

Like,

Feeling we're doing something wrong,

And then putting a perfection pie on it,

We're missing the main game,

Which is to just love ourselves and love all of life,

Love everybody,

To do what Alma models.

Okay,

This is what I'm talking about,

Us doing what Alma models.

And,

You know,

This difficulty dealing with our emotions like this,

And our emotional IQs,

It's very widespread.

It's like,

You know,

In the past two years,

Social media has changed.

So,

Really,

I mean,

There are these stories about how some family want to sit on the,

I'm sure you've seen them,

On the plane,

And somebody's applauded for not moving her seat,

So the family could sit together.

I mean,

It's just,

It seems to me like,

Off the wall,

That somehow the instinctive movement of the heart,

The instinctive heart thing to do,

Is becoming verboten,

Or not socially acceptable.

Yeah,

And I really want to speak about this,

Because it does take a lot of courage to be vulnerable,

To,

You know,

If we hurt somebody's feelings,

To go up to them and go,

Like,

Look,

I'm really sorry,

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Like,

I would have done that,

But I felt so strongly this guy,

He wouldn't have been able to handle that at all.

So,

I did that energetically,

But I would be prepared to go in front of him and eat crow,

And say sorry.

Yeah,

I mean,

This is what Alma models.

And this is what I find so many of us find it so hard to do.

And her comment about,

Oh,

It's all perfect.

You know,

Any time that you're thinking about being perfect,

Or trying to be perfect,

Fear is running the show.

Always.

Always.

Because fear will give you an arbitrary standard that you have to live up to in order to be acceptable.

Do you understand this?

And it's bullshit.

There's no standard you have to live up to.

You are acceptable.

I say this to people,

And,

You know,

They look at me,

It's like crazy,

But the person who is covered with feces,

Who is naked,

Sitting in the middle of the street,

Is a divine being,

And is worth as much as any of us.

They may need a shower.

They may need a bit of mental help.

But they're as valuable,

And as worthwhile,

As you,

Or me.

Yeah.

Now,

There will be people who,

If you go up and give an innocent apology and stuff,

Will play games with you,

And it's like,

Oh,

Well.

Oh,

Well.

The most important thing is that you followed your heart,

And were willing to make a fool of yourself in service of the higher expression of love,

In the service of helping to warm up this world.

Yeah.

That's what you see in this one.

This is why you want to listen to this one,

Because this is what this one did.

Mm.

And does.

Right.

And it's very safe.

It's a very safe way to live.

But you see,

The thing that gets in the way is we're scared of being judged.

It was,

She immediately went from this cut off of,

Oh,

It's all perfect,

The way it was,

To,

Oh,

I did something wrong.

Okay.

And this is what will be,

You know,

What,

How do I say it?

This stepping out into a more loving,

Honest approach is,

Has been taboo in our culture.

That's why we feel that there's,

You know,

That there's something that we're not allowed to,

That there's something wrong with us.

But there isn't.

And it's why I come back to,

You know,

Learning how to live at the Aboriginal level.

This is the level Alma lives at,

At,

While being in a complex society.

And you can't be very truthful.

You,

You know,

There,

There are ways to put things.

Like,

I was speaking to a dear person on the phone,

And she said,

You're telling terrible things to me,

But I can hear them.

And she could,

You see,

I was being very blunt about how her ego was functioning.

And it was,

You know,

The,

The scalpel was out,

But there was,

She could hear the so much love in the words that it,

It didn't hurt her.

She just went,

Yes,

This is true.

Yes,

This is true.

Yeah.

And the thing is,

And in a way,

You guys,

This is the most important thing.

If we have a cutoff,

Like this young woman had saying,

It's all perfect.

And then to avoid feeling bad about herself.

The thing,

You know,

If we're not being,

Coming from our true self,

It's because we're feeling really bad about our true Alma nature.

We think our true Alma nature isn't acceptable,

Isn't allowed,

That she's doing it wrong.

Okay.

Okay,

Good.

Okay.

Because one of the hopes that I'm wanting from these sad sayings is that all of you guys begin to love yourselves more deeply just as a by-product.

Yeah.

So,

It's my,

It's my biggest prayer for you,

Because the more that you love and accept yourselves,

The more light you're going to feel and express in your,

In your worlds.

And this,

You see,

This love,

I mean,

Sometimes some of you hold on to me,

Wanting me to give it to you,

And I can't give it to you directly.

I can set up a climate,

I can transmit it to you,

But it's like,

It is what you do inside of you that matters.

You see,

This is the thing.

It's what you do inside of you that matters.

So,

My feeling is this young woman I'm talking about,

She,

And she's really a beautiful-hearted woman.

She's just young,

So she just doesn't know yet.

But,

But she sort of goes around avoiding feeling bad about herself,

And so she stays in her ego.

Because sometimes we have to do things and feel like,

You know,

That it was taboo,

But then still let the feelings of taboo lift in the understanding that we were just expressing love.

I have often felt that I was doing something wrong as I was growing and expanding into more love.

Often.

And I'd have to,

Like,

Send love to myself,

And then I'd realize that I wasn't doing anything wrong at all.

I was just stepping past this numbness that we're in,

You guys.

We're in this numbness of alienation.

Now,

There are two ways to go out of it.

There is either going into violence,

Or there's going into the radical step of compassionate love.

They're both sort of radical steps out of the numbness.

And I'll tell you,

It will not stay numb.

It will either go violent or more loving.

That's it.

It's a number of us who are doing the inner awakening,

Inner emotional IQ.

It really,

Really matters.

You know,

I have to say,

Swami said something shocking in the… It actually made sense to me,

Because I noticed that I've been quite tough with about three of you.

And Swami,

During his talk,

You know,

Just by the by,

He mentioned,

I mean,

This is going to sound made up,

But you guys know me,

So it's true,

And some of you also heard this.

Swami in Northern California said,

You know,

Basically that human life could be ending in not too distant future,

That there was a real probability that we were going to kind of blow ourselves up.

And he just wove that in,

You know.

And my feeling when I heard that is,

Oh,

I have been feeling this.

This is what's bothering me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

If it goes that way,

We'll all be meeting,

You know,

With our hearts and our angel wings,

And we'll go,

Wow,

What a ride that was,

You know.

And maybe,

You know,

Amma coming to the US and embarking,

Maybe it's not clear.

They don't know if she's going to proceed beyond North America.

Nobody seems to know.

But,

You know,

Maybe this is partly to help calm the world down.

Yeah.

So,

It's sort of bizarre,

These realities,

You know,

For all of us living in this uncertain time.

But I'll tell you,

If you are just true to your heart,

That's all you need to do,

And that's all you need to do to help this world.

For another day to dawn.

Right.

Right.

Okay,

This is good.

There's a lot of love coming to you guys.

Yeah.

Our egos can be so tricky,

You know.

You know,

A really,

Yeah,

How do I put it?

Yeah,

You know,

I'm going to say again,

The discounting of ourselves is one of the things when I come to reach for you,

You know,

To put my arms around you and transmit knowledge.

One of the walls that is there is when people discount themselves,

They will tend to discount the level of the transmission.

So,

There's a really,

Really sincere,

Really high-level,

High-level,

She's a high-level seeker.

And I had sent her some,

She'd been had a difficulty,

And I sent her some input.

And she said,

Thank you for the comforting words.

And I wrote back and I said,

Actually,

They were a how-to,

They were steps to take.

There was a real message to help her deepen and live out her truth more,

But she just got it as,

Oh,

Encouraging,

Comforting words,

You see?

And it was way more than that.

I just want to say this to you guys,

That if,

You know,

If I,

Whatever I email,

There's a lot in it.

Don't underestimate it.

And you don't have to be perfect,

But just try to stay alert.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's funny,

I'm just getting this.

I just got this message.

There's a miracle happening.

It's like,

It is so interesting listening,

You know,

Living this way.

So,

This miracle,

Like,

Who knows what it is?

Maybe you guys are all going to make miraculous leap.

Maybe some illness is going to disappear.

I don't know what,

But I'm just getting there's a miracle happening.

So,

Yeah.

Right.

Okay.

There's some other things I wanted to mention was about some of the individuals.

I want to ask you how you're doing.

So,

Francoise,

Do you mind speaking about how you're doing after our call?

You don't have to if you don't want to,

But you'll have to turn on your microphone.

I can't hear you.

I will try to,

Yes.

Yeah.

Really,

It's okay.

Yeah.

So,

How are you?

How's the pain level?

There is less pain,

But more movement.

You see,

Like a spiral or something.

Spiral in your bodies,

In your body?

In the head.

Pardon?

In your head?

Yes.

Like a spiral?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So,

Francoise phoned me with incredible feeling,

Incredible pain coming to her head.

And I said to her that it was her soul energy wanting to come in.

And when we didn't realize this,

The pressure and pain sometimes gets worse to kind of,

It seems to force our surrender,

But it's just the universe just wanting to bring us love and our ego resisting it.

And so,

We feel it physically.

We feel this pain physically or the pressure.

So,

Francoise,

What was it that you're feeling now?

It is like a little tornado.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's energetic movement and sometimes it hurts,

Sometimes it hurts less,

But day after day it's growing.

So,

I was frightened because of this.

Yeah.

I know you were.

And I was really glad that you contacted me because I think there are a lot of people in the world who are feeling bizarre physical symptoms and it's scaring them.

And this is just your soul energy coming into your body.

And it's weird,

You know?

It can feel weird.

But if you just know that this is the work of lifetimes,

That this,

Your soul has waited for this lifetime for you to let the soul energy come in and help dissolve the ego,

Then we can put up with the pain and we can celebrate it.

We go,

Oh,

It's really good news.

Fantastic.

My ego's going out.

All I have to do is just watch it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's so funny.

And,

You know,

When you have that attitude,

The pain just goes way down,

You know,

Because,

You know,

I live with,

I've got arthritis.

I keep thinking I must,

Like,

Take it away one day,

But who knows?

Anyway,

The doctor,

You know,

My GP is always just,

She can't believe it because I feel hardly any pain for actually severe arthritis in my shoulders.

And I don't,

You know,

There's the odd ache,

But I'm so lodged in soul energy,

You know?

So this is what I'm,

And also I can carry stuff.

Like,

I make sure my muscles are developed,

But I don't want to be like,

I take care of my muscle development,

That helps.

But she's,

Like,

Gobsmacked with me.

Like,

She doesn't know what to do with me.

Yeah.

So Francois,

You,

I'll tell you,

You are really going to get this.

I can feel it.

You are really going to get this.

And it's like the sun is going to start rising in your life as you come out of this.

Wow.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Defensiveness.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We just need,

You know,

I just feel like the person who put a flag here and said,

Hey,

You guys,

This is possible.

We can do this.

And then everybody's going,

Yay,

Let's do it.

Yes.

Right.

Uh-huh.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

We can,

And you've got to,

Okay,

And this is the other thing,

You guys,

Please be really,

Really patient with yourselves.

Like,

Patient with yourselves,

Like,

You know,

Like unbelievably patient.

Please don't do the perfect thing.

Do the,

The loving self no matter what.

Yeah.

My phone just twigged with this.

It just said a noise,

You know.

Loving yourselves no matter what.

That is it.

So,

You know,

Just,

It's like,

I remember I worked,

I once did kind of secretarial work for a very brief period for like a summer at this cement company.

And I remember thinking,

Well,

You know,

If I'm always doing secretarial work for the rest of my life,

It's like still okay.

It's good enough.

It's okay.

Life's worth living.

Yeah.

Like that.

And,

You know,

Very soon after,

After that,

An opportunity opened up for me,

Which opened up because I'd accepted where I was.

Now,

You cannot force this.

I mean,

All you can hear from me is that you have permission,

That you have permission to totally accept yourself.

Okay.

I can feel,

Okay,

I'm hitting ego.

This is good.

It's good because it's showing itself.

It's okay.

This ego's come from many,

Many,

Many lifetimes.

Your ego is not your fault.

Okay.

This is,

Please,

Please get this through your heads.

Whatever defences you're struggling with are not your fault.

They come from other lifetimes or from your early conditioning.

See,

You guys,

If you don't step out and be more compassionate with people beyond where,

You know,

The lovely woman at the desk was operating from,

You're not really going to get anywhere.

It's like,

You know,

The thing that Amma is modelling is this radical loving.

And what we do is we go all religious on it.

We do the religious ego on it.

We get very obsessed with our own selves.

We get very obsessed with whether we're doing it right or not.

And we go round and round in this labyrinth,

And we think we're making progress.

And we're not.

If we're staying in it.

The step is this radical step into self-love,

Self-acceptance,

And expressing it to others or to your pets or to your flowers.

Yeah.

So interesting working with you because you're like little kids,

Sensitive little kids.

And,

You know,

I can make a point,

And then it's like if I go too far,

You start to wilt like little kids do.

So,

There's a bit of a wilting going on,

And as if it can feel like a heavy demand for me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I just want to say the fact it feels like a heavy demand is coming from your egos,

Okay?

That's all right.

I'm going to just give you some space for a minute.

I want to talk about as your mind lifts,

As your ego lifts,

You will feel more spacious in your bodies and in your lives.

That is a big red flag that you're on the right track.

Everything's more spacious.

You have more maneuvering room.

You feel it inside your body and out.

So,

Somebody phoned me who was feeling very,

Very contracted and bossed around.

Or we talked actually at last satsang.

Shivali,

Do you mind turning on your photo and speaking?

Sweetie,

I want to ask you how you were doing.

Hello.

Hi.

Oh,

Good.

Here she is.

Shivali.

Yes.

Yes.

I was so lost.

I am feeling so good.

I was so lost in your thing,

And I was feeling whatever you're doing,

And I was going along with it.

Yeah.

You look here.

Your face looks innocent.

You look like five years old.

It's very beautiful.

The other thing,

Yeah.

Listen,

I wanted to also mention,

Like last week for those who were here,

Shivali,

Right?

Shivali mentioned that she had her deity was Ganesha.

Lord Ganesha.

Yeah.

And that she felt Lord Ganesha was pointing out her faults and everything.

Okay.

Now,

You guys,

This is what it gets like.

Very intense like that,

Just before you surrender.

Okay.

Like,

You get an experience like Shivali's where you feel like all the darkness is up,

That you're doing it wrong,

It's terrible,

And there's no hope.

Now,

The trouble is people can walk around in that for 40 years and not surrender,

And that's what's to be avoided on the spiritual journey,

Okay?

Because that intensity,

When it comes up,

That intensity about our faults,

It's the soul's trying to get us to surrender.

It is the last fighting of the ego,

Like the tyrant trying to stay in power using every trick in the book.

Okay.

The next step is surrender.

So,

I just want to highlight this too,

Because people stay like that for 40 years on the spiritual journey with that kind of intensity,

And they don't surrender.

And this,

You know,

Maybe this satsang being,

You know,

I might change it to the surrender satsang,

Not the awareness satsang,

But surrenders,

And we could all have like white flags that we wave around,

You know,

To help promote like this letting go,

Yeah.

Shivali,

I am so happy to hear this,

Sweet one.

Yeah.

It's not me,

It's just your emails.

You were telling so much about how you were consciously doing stuff,

But your email was completely unconscious,

Loving,

But completely a normal thing.

But after reading it,

Something opened up.

I don't know what it was,

I don't know what,

And suddenly everything just became more gentle.

I became more gentle with myself,

I became more gentle with others.

I realized what all those things people go through was to teach,

To empathize maybe,

That is a correct word,

To empathize with others,

To see that they are also struggling,

That you also went through that,

And to heal others.

It is a process that teaches you that you're meant to heal others.

At least I felt like that when that heart opened up,

That is what the lesson,

I thought that was what was being taught to me.

Yeah,

Yeah,

And all I'd say is not quite heal,

It's like share it with others,

And then as a result they actually get healed.

So you're right,

Just a little change of words,

Yeah,

We share it,

Yeah.

And when we share it,

We heal more deeply,

And others heal.

And it's,

You know,

You got it through the email.

I mean.

Yes,

So,

So strange.

No,

No,

No.

You see,

Sometimes we need a bit of company before we can surrender.

You know,

It was a,

You got,

I was with you,

You could feel it,

And so it helped you feel safe enough to surrender.

It's like,

You know,

Amma's arms,

Which is the best of all,

But here in the satsang,

Hopefully it will help you feel safe,

All of you safe enough to surrender,

Just as time goes on.

Yeah.

Bless your heart.

The other thing,

Shivali,

I wanted to say is the really sincere ones feel this kind of intensity that you're feeling,

That you felt,

That real intensity of I'm doing it wrong,

It's really hard,

Like you get so,

So terribly stuck in pain.

This comes from deep sincerity,

You guys.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You see,

We don't know how good we are,

You know.

We don't,

We think we're messes,

But it's actually,

It's sort of like a very good student,

Like,

Like a nice student studies hard,

It's the same kind of principle.

The intensity rises if you're really sincere on the journey,

Because your ego really is threatened.

You know,

So it fights back.

You know,

You've made my day,

Shivali.

It's fantastic.

Yeah.

Right.

The thoughts,

When they try to come again,

There's something inside me just don't,

It's okay,

Just accept it with love.

And I did,

And immediately just went,

The intensity,

I just accepted,

There was something that just said,

Just accept it.

It's okay.

It's beautiful,

And just accept it.

And the intensity just got accepted,

And it went,

And it was so beautiful.

I don't know how to explain it.

The acceptance was there.

You explained it very good.

That's the way it goes.

Yep.

Yeah.

And if you feel that you don't know what Shivali's talking about,

Just go,

Me too.

Me too.

I'm going to find out.

Me too.

Yeah,

Don't be disheartened,

Please.

Please,

Because things can change overnight.

Do you know,

Maybe,

You know,

Maybe if we don't blow ourselves up in the near future,

Maybe we're all going to have a quantum leap.

It's kind of like that.

That might be the miracle I'm feeling.

That's the way it goes.

Yeah.

Okay.

You guys are,

I can feel you've become more present.

You've become more present.

Shivali,

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

You know,

For some,

You know,

I've been emailing,

Shivali's been emailing me for,

Like,

A couple of months,

And emailing these distraught emails.

And it's like,

I am,

You know,

And I'd say,

Come to Satsang.

And then she came to Satsang,

But I didn't clue in she was here.

I was so relieved.

Like,

I'm so this is why it's made my day.

Because for two months,

I've been like,

Feeling for you,

Sweetie,

Like,

And you did it.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hmm.

So,

Anna,

I'm going to know that you're feeling maybe not so great today,

But you did have that breakthrough that I was talking about into,

And it's probably part of why you're feeling stressed now will be integration of this breakthrough.

But you,

You actually had the breakthrough that I have been wanting for you.

And it was around where you,

Or maybe I'll just let you put words to it.

Can you,

Can you put words to it?

Like,

You spoke to me about the difference that you felt in your life?

Yeah,

It was like,

It was a very slight change into feeling different.

And there was this feeling of being more lighthearted and more easygoing with myself more loving,

But not in a strenuous way I always did,

Or sometimes did before it was just like,

Waking up in the morning with a smile on my face,

And being grateful.

And it was like,

You know,

This,

This picture came up that,

Like,

Climbing a mountain,

The mountain of the spiritual journey and having reached a plateau,

It felt like,

Oh,

I'm climbing,

But now there is a little plateau and I can rest and I feel normal.

This is what I felt.

I felt more normal.

This was the word coming up for me,

Came up into in myself,

You know?

Yeah.

And so it was beautiful,

But not like,

Oh,

Beautiful.

It was like normal,

Very,

Very quiet,

Slight,

Not slight,

A quiet feeling inside of being okay.

Just being okay.

And I could feel my head not being involved in everything so much.

Right.

But I didn't strain to get out of my head.

It just like it happened.

This was the beauty of it.

Right.

Right.

So,

It's a little bit,

You return,

You know,

When you get on the journey,

Like you have your normal,

And then you get on the journey,

You start waking up,

And then you start bothering yourself with,

Oh,

Am I doing it right?

And I have to meditate,

And I have to do this and do that,

Then always monitoring yourself.

And that I call the religious religiosity and the religious ego,

Spiritual ego,

Okay?

And then it popped.

And what happens is you come back to,

Like,

That you're okay the way you are.

You got things to learn,

But you wake up kind of without this heaviness in the morning.

You just wake up a little bit like a child.

It's the beginning of returning to being like a child.

You know,

Child wakes up free.

So,

It's an important spot.

Like a child waking up.

I could remember the feeling.

Yeah.

Right.

Now,

This takes a degree of non-attachment to get to.

And Anna has suffered me banging you on the German head,

Right,

For some time.

But you've done it.

This is a really important spot on the journey where you just wake up,

And you know that you're okay.

You've got stuff to learn.

But life goes on,

And you're a work in progress,

And it's all good.

So,

You're out of this very busy mind.

Now,

What will happen now is when you go along,

Anna,

And when your egos hit,

It will come back,

And you'll hit that da-da-da-da-da-da.

But you've got a new baseline now.

Yeah,

I can feel that.

Yeah.

So,

You can return to this.

Yes.

Okay.

This is how it works.

Notice how you're all feeling as I say this.

Some of you are going snoozy.

You're losing it.

Yeah.

It's because your ego doesn't want you to get there.

And it's not like that,

You know.

I'll tell you what,

You could have somebody on the journey who moves really fast at the beginning,

And then they stop growing,

And then you grow way beyond them.

It's not a race.

You cannot judge yourself by where everybody is.

Okay,

So just listen,

And don't do the hierarchy thing.

Yeah.

Because there were a lot of people who totally wrote me off.

It's just like a fool,

You know,

And it's like.

So,

Don't.

Let yourself be where you are.

Please.

Please.

This is how you grow.

Let yourself be where you are.

Please.

Okay,

We're going to stay with this a bit.

Some of you are checking out.

Be with where you are.

It's okay.

You're not bad.

Notice if you've got your bad running,

Because some of you have this.

I can feel it.

It's okay.

It's even okay to be where you are and feeling like that you're bad.

It's just your ego,

You know,

But still.

You know,

And I say this often,

You know,

We're bumbling idiots.

I consider myself a bumbling idiot,

Truly,

Truly,

Truly.

I've just had a few more years seeing my bumbling idiocy and realizing that I'm still a divine being,

Even if I'm a bumbling idiot,

You know.

That's what I want to transmit.

You can be a bumbling idiot and a divine being,

Okay?

Okay,

This is helping you guys.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Believe me.

I got a PhD in bumbling idiocy,

Really.

Really.

Yeah,

It's true.

It's true.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Yeah,

That's it.

That's it.

Right.

What did Buddha say?

There is no one in the world more deserving of love than you are.

Yeah,

That's it.

And,

You know,

The joke is the parts of us when we decide that we're bumbling idiots,

It's just,

Or when we're too hard on ourselves,

It's just our egos trying to fool us.

It's our scared egos who's just scared.

It's our scared egos who's just scared.

They're just like a terrible dictator who's scared of love.

And when you see this,

When you see this in yourself,

This ego,

This terrible dictator who's scared of love,

You stop believing it.

Yeah,

You stop believing the,

I mean,

Dictators can only keep us in power if we actually believe what they say.

Or we're too scared to not believe it,

You know,

We're too scared to say this is crap.

This is how a lot of people stay in their ego.

They know it's baloney,

But they're too scared to experiment with different ways.

This is very widespread.

What is that thing when good men do nothing?

That's when trouble starts.

Yep.

You know,

I often say just tell the truth a little bit more to yourself and to others.

Do it as compassionately as possible to yourself and others,

But tell the truth.

Because it's your rock.

It's your true north.

Without the truth,

We just get like what we're getting now.

It's like clown cuckoo land,

You know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Again,

It's an hour,

But we're going to have questions,

And,

You know,

If you have to go,

You have to go.

All my blessings.

But has anybody got any comment or question?

I do,

Pramasutha.

Let's go.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi,

Sweetie.

Hi.

I have a question to the constantly wandering mind.

What happened is I was in Seattle.

I got hugs from Amma.

It was beautiful.

And I felt very much in love and in my heart.

And it felt really,

Really beautiful.

I'm back now for,

I don't know,

It's a week or so.

And I still can access that.

And it's almost like there is a flip side to the coin that my mind is now wandering louder and more than before.

It's constantly,

Even when I say my mantra,

My mind is sometimes wandering.

And it's,

I wrote you about it.

And because I had that idea,

You know,

What people teach you,

You say,

Thank you,

Mind,

You serve me well,

But please stop it now.

And then you said,

Don't try to reject it,

Which makes sense.

So I'm trying to be with it and switch to the heart feeling.

It's just,

It's constantly there.

It wouldn't stop.

Yeah.

You know,

Sweetie,

It's exactly what happens when you take a step into the light,

The ego or the mind will start to fuss.

So you just,

All you can really do is just watch it,

Be with it.

It's just having a temper tantrum.

I know.

I know.

I know.

This is a journey,

Right?

We go,

Oh,

We want this spiritual journey.

And then we get like,

Oh,

Okay.

Yeah.

You just,

It's just your ego trying not to die,

Trying to keep you in the old.

Yeah.

Remember I've said to you that your head was taking up too much room in your heart.

So you're getting an experience of exactly the truth of how you've been living and just keep the focus on,

You know,

Keep doing what you're doing.

And what will happen is this ego will let go and you will feel more space.

Yeah.

I mean,

Part of you,

I can feel it.

You see,

You don't know what it's like to live more freely,

Saskia.

So you don't,

You're like a little kid who's always had a rough time and doesn't,

You know,

Maybe they've gone to a new home,

But they don't quite trust yet.

They can't relax into it yet,

But you will.

You will,

But I can feel you,

Part of you really thinks it's,

It's true.

And it's sweetie,

You,

You know,

You're,

You've had a lot of lifetimes.

Your heart's desperate for more space.

It just so wants more space.

Yeah.

So just watch the machinations of the ego and it's just going to do its thing.

You know,

It's just throwing a temper tantrum.

I can feel you're not letting the transmission of love that's coming through my words.

You're not letting it come to you.

Okay.

I can feel you're holding on to this.

Right.

I'm scared.

I'm just really scared.

I just feel scared.

Right.

Yeah.

We're scared of love.

Yeah.

Scared of love.

Maybe that's why the Supreme Court just turned U.

S.

Into dictatorship.

We're scared of love.

Really?

Really?

It is a metaphor for what we do with our egos,

You guys.

It's inside and outside.

Okay.

The ego is inside and outside.

So the Supreme Court gives the president immunity.

It turns him into a dictator.

This,

Okay,

You see,

This could only be happening if a lot of people were doing this.

They were doing this internally.

Right.

Right.

But you don't have to be one of them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But we can all feel the pull of it.

Like,

We all feel the pull of whatever the collective's doing.

Saskia,

Say to me,

I want you to look at me,

And I want you to say,

I am good enough.

I am good enough.

I am good enough.

I am good enough.

Yeah,

You are.

Say,

I am good enough in every way.

I am good enough in every way.

Yeah,

You are.

Right.

Right.

Now,

Think of your sons.

How would you want your son,

If your son was speaking to me,

One of your sons,

How would you want him to say this back to me?

If I'm saying to him,

You're good enough,

How would you want him to reply to me?

Well,

Hell yes,

Of course,

I'm good enough.

Yeah.

Right.

You wouldn't want him to be,

Oh,

Am I good enough?

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So,

It's a matter of like,

You know,

And I say this with real gentleness,

Like,

Please,

Just do your best to be the change you want to see.

All of you guys.

Anna,

You too.

Be the change you want to see.

Be it.

Do it.

You know,

You'll feel like a bumbling idiot.

I did lots,

But that's,

I just kept being the change I wanted to see.

I kept playing there.

Right.

Right.

Okay.

Now,

There's part of you,

It's in your subconscious,

And you're saying,

My ego has a terrible hold on me.

Are you aware of this?

Okay,

Say this to me.

My ego has a terrible hold on me.

My ego has a terrible hold on me.

How do you how do you feel when you say that?

It's true.

It's true.

And I feel it's crashing that it's I don't know,

I feel something crashing down.

This is a big secret,

You guys.

This is operating.

This has been operating in Saskia's unconscious.

I can see it,

Because I had it too,

But it's been cleared.

Okay.

So,

The power of when we're talking,

Saskia's unconscious is aware that she's talking to somebody who has cleared this.

Do you understand?

So,

That makes fertile ground for a change to occur in Saskia just seamlessly.

And all she has to do is accept that she has this part.

This is what I did over and over.

I just kept accepting that I had these parts like Hitler.

It was like,

At one point,

I just felt like I was Hitler,

And I could feel it in my body and everywhere.

And I just was like,

Okay,

Love,

Compassion,

Love,

Compassion,

Compassion.

I kind of like,

I hope I grow out of this.

Love,

Compassion.

And I was brought out of it.

This is it.

You just get brought out of it.

If you use your will,

And this is,

You guys,

This is some of you.

You know,

You like this one used her will because I just knew there was no hope.

So,

Use your will.

You know,

Get the support from me,

From this one,

But use your will.

Keep using your will to,

I'm moving into truth.

I'm moving into truth.

I'm moving into truth.

I'm moving into light.

I'm moving into light.

Knock and the door shall open,

Seek and ye shall find.

Saskia,

There's something,

You know,

Sometimes,

Like,

I want you to think about this.

Sometimes when we're women,

And we're protected,

We have a husband and a family,

We can feel that we're a little bit,

Like,

Safe,

We're safe.

So,

It can stop us from making these really big steps,

Because we've got this phony safety,

Feeling a phony safety for being the loved wife and mother of children.

And it's phony.

And I'll tell you,

If you really don't let go of this,

It will play out in your life.

It will,

It will,

It will show itself.

And if you do move into,

You know,

More self-acceptance,

That will show itself.

And nothing can protect you.

You guys,

Nothing can protect you from your spiritual decisions or your karma.

Like,

Amma can make your karma less.

Turning to accept your karma with an open heart makes the pain and trouble less.

Nothing can protect us from the fact that we're divine beings functioning in true reality,

And that is what wins.

Yeah.

Now,

Saskia,

I want you to accept that your decision,

Whether to move into truth or not,

Is not in your conscious control.

That's the key.

All you can do is do your best.

The results are in the hands of the universe.

But I can also tell you,

You would not be here if you weren't heading this way.

So,

Really,

It's all sewn up in your safe.

You just need to let go and let God much more in your life,

And you will feel so spacious and so loving to the people around you.

And they will fall in love with you all over again.

Yeah.

So,

What is going on with you right now?

I feel like I feel an identity as a wife and as a mother,

Maybe as a daughter.

But the me,

I don't,

I feel like I felt like shipped all the time.

But now I feel like I can bath in your words without thinking.

I don't feel,

I feel like it's a,

You know,

It's,

Yeah,

It's maybe a cloud.

Okay.

Yes.

Yeah,

I can just be here in your words.

Right.

But then just,

You know,

Sweetie,

Just stay on it.

Do your best.

You know,

The,

You know,

The people with the most resistance turn into the biggest lights if they just keep going.

Okay.

Yeah.

When you say the control,

It's beyond my control,

But I want to move on on my spiritual journey.

Is,

You know what I'm saying?

Is it contradicting?

You want to stay in control.

You want to be in control.

You can't imagine that you could move forward on your spiritual journey unless you weren't in the driver's seat.

And I'm saying you have to leave the driver's seat.

Okay.

To make progress.

Like Saskia,

Think of giving birth.

Did you monitor yourself giving birth?

No.

No.

It is,

You guys,

Spiritual progress is like giving birth.

You're just in it.

It hurts.

And suddenly you have a new perspective.

If you lose all control,

You have to lose all control,

And a new perspective comes.

But just,

Saskia,

Don't,

I mean,

Just accept the fact that you're stuck in your head right now,

Actually.

That would be the best.

Okay.

I'm in my head.

Premasut is working with me.

I mean,

More importantly,

Amma's working with me.

It's,

You know,

It's all good.

I'm going to have a piece of cake.

Thank you,

Premasut.

Have a piece of cake if you need to.

It's like,

You know,

Whatever.

You know?

Yeah,

We don't have to be,

Yeah.

Just be like,

Just let yourself be a bumbling idiot,

You know?

Okay.

Thank you so much.

Oh,

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Blessings.

Anybody else?

Hi,

Premasut.

It's Bethan.

Bethan.

Yeah,

Bethan.

I really appreciated Saskia and yourself just now,

Because I very much relate to it.

And this week,

I've opened,

Earlier in the week,

I opened up a bit more just talking about who I am to people and about my journey,

Rather than being,

You know,

Just really expressing and open about it.

And it was an opening of my heart to that kind of be able to speak about who I am and share that with others.

And I had a dream in the night,

Then where I was walking with two of these people.

And then I slipped and fell into a pool of water,

And I drowned,

I was drowning.

And I rolled over,

And I was on my back,

And I was still drowning.

And then eventually,

I woke up.

And that was obviously,

Kind of stirred me up,

Right inside.

And it's a dream,

And it's kind of thinking about the thoughts you said before about the ego dying and aspects of that of me opening up.

And then I've just,

It's just stirred me up massively inside,

And my mind's been extremely active.

And I've started going more inward again,

And I'm backed away from expressing myself and being open.

And yeah,

I'm feeling quite lost.

Okay.

Yeah.

So,

You're like the abused child who makes an overture,

And you know,

Something happens,

And she stops feeling safe,

And that it's like love isn't there.

So,

I want to ask about the people you spoke to when you were sharing your journey.

What,

Did they get what you were talking about,

Or?

Yeah,

They did.

They really appreciated it.

Yeah,

On different levels as well.

So,

I suppose I've been like around people I know,

Aware there's aspects of my journey in life I can share,

And other times I don't,

Just because we're on different wavelengths,

And seeing,

And being.

So,

Just aware of this when I felt.

Bethan,

Bethan,

Slow down a minute.

Were they,

Like,

Okay,

A couple things.

One is,

If we speak to people who are not,

Who don't receive it,

This can unsettle us.

But you say that you felt that they received it at the level you're speaking from?

Yes,

Bethan.

Okay,

Okay.

Well,

Sweetie pie,

I'll tell you something.

Bethan,

You guys,

All of you,

Sometimes in a way you have to drown,

You know.

Bethan,

Focus on me.

Yeah,

I really have to drown.

Sometimes we have to drown,

You know.

This is disheartening,

You guys.

You know,

Even if you drown,

What happens is you get brought up again to a new perspective.

The other alternative is that you work really closely with self-love and self-acceptance Bethan,

Until you start to feel better.

Do you see?

Yeah,

I can feel you've put yourself at some place.

You're not even reachable to me.

I can't reach you,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

I'm very inward.

Well,

Just hold on.

Maybe it's okay to be very inward.

Sweetie,

It's okay to be very inward.

You can be inward and still connected up with everything.

Yeah,

I can feel the little child going,

It's hopeless,

It's hopeless.

So,

I want you to remind you of how come I can get this information if you're so alone.

I agree with you.

The inner child's been screaming at me for the past few days,

Like it went to just run away,

Went into the whale and hunt him and scream and just frustration,

Feeling lost and out of control and.

.

.

Oh,

Sweetie.

Oh,

Sweetie,

Yeah.

Oh,

Sweetie.

You know,

Sweetie,

Look at me,

But put your arms around yourself.

You know,

Everybody's like,

People are starting to move.

Everybody's getting really uncomfortable because this is so close to the bone.

Bethan,

It's so close to the bone about how we feel sometimes.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thanks,

Joanne.

Just be with it,

Sweetie.

Just see what happens,

Okay?

Just keep sending love to yourself,

Keep sending love to yourself and see what happens.

The deepening can be very difficult sometimes,

Sweetie.

I guess it's really scared you with the drowning,

Eh?

I've had a few dreams the past few weeks where I've died in them.

I think three maybe in the past month,

Like in different ways.

Yeah,

So you're in the major ego death then.

Right.

I mean,

Think of it,

The world's on the verge of throwing,

Blowing itself up.

Like,

You guys,

It's intense for all of us.

You know,

We're either going to shift into more truth or we're going to be playing with harps.

You guys are really losing,

I have to say,

The group is really having a trouble staying with me here,

Staying with.

It's okay.

We've been going on a long time.

It's okay.

Everybody's,

Yep.

Bethan,

Can you go like,

Okay,

I'm in an ego death,

I'm horribly uncomfortable,

I'm scared,

I don't know what's going to happen,

But.

I'm in an ego death,

And I'm horribly scared,

And I don't know what's going to happen.

Right.

Right.

And say,

It's okay that I feel this way.

And it's okay that I feel this way.

It is.

And say,

I'm in Amma's arms.

I wish I was.

But you are,

You see?

You are.

You are,

And you're in my heart.

You are.

And we're all here.

And maybe let's send love to Bethan,

You guys.

I'm sure a lot of you were already.

Yeah.

This is an,

You know,

We get in this experience of separation,

Sweet one.

You're right in separation.

Okay,

Here it is,

You guys,

In all its crappiness.

Right.

Right.

Right.

That's it.

You know,

Bethan,

The day will come where you let the whole group come in and love you into more peace.

And it's either today or it'll be another time.

Doesn't matter.

Right.

It's okay.

And it's all good whichever way.

Right.

Okay.

Listen,

I'm feeling a little kid in there going,

I want things the way I want them.

Really,

It's like,

I want things the way I want them.

It's like,

Okay,

Good luck with that.

But anyway,

This is what we're like.

Yeah.

Well,

How are you?

I was laughing at what you're saying,

Because,

Yeah,

It feels like that.

Laughing at what you just said,

But it feels like that.

And I could feel the love from everyone else as well,

And it's appreciated.

You're like a little kid who's taking a candy and saying,

Well,

Thank you for the candy.

I wouldn't mind a few more.

No,

I actually feel a bit sick,

If I'm honest.

You're feeling a bit sick?

Yeah.

Okay.

Like nausea?

Yeah,

And a bit shaky.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So,

Shakiness is fear-leaving.

Nausea is moving in to embody your divinity more.

I got really hot.

Okay.

Hot is anger burning off.

Anger itself burning off.

Sweetie,

You know,

You guys just imagine where this knowledge came from.

It went by going through what Bethan's going through over and over again,

All the stuff you go through over and over again.

And all I did was I paid attention.

I paid attention,

And I connected some dots.

Okay.

Bethan,

I want you to say,

I am worthy.

I am worthy.

Yeah.

Say,

I deserve love.

I deserve love.

Yeah.

Say,

I am loved.

I am loved.

Yeah,

You are loved.

You really are.

Yeah.

Yeah,

You are loved.

Right.

You are.

Right.

Okay.

You guys,

This is what motivates me.

It's like this kind of excruciating pain,

And also the pain that Shivali was in.

It just motivates me so much because with just a little bit of love,

We can be pulled out of this into being able to receive love.

And as you proceed,

You will see people who are caught in this,

And you'll just reach out and offer them love.

You'll just do it instinctively.

And as you do it,

You'll be healed.

The big mistake so many make,

They try to be perfect.

They keep working,

Doing a very narrow focus on themselves,

Not sharing the love,

Not just going round and round,

Focusing on the mistakes.

And I'll tell you,

It is the biggest mistake on the journey to be there long.

Yeah.

Be the love you want to see.

Be it.

Do it.

And you'll be healed.

Yeah.

And if you can't do it,

You're still very lovable.

It's okay,

You guys.

If you can't do it and you just want to stay in hell,

It's okay.

You're still incredibly lovable.

And one day you will wake up.

It's okay.

You're all adorable.

You're all just exquisite.

Okay.

Well,

Bethan,

I think you seem like a hollowed out ragdoll.

I think you need to just rest and remember that the love's going to be coming to you.

Everybody,

Remember Bethan,

Keep sending some love to her and to yourselves.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See all the hearts,

Bethan?

Yeah.

Because we know what this feels like.

Yeah.

Oh,

Don't we?

Don't we know?

Yeah.

We know too well what it feels like.

It's like,

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

Well,

It's 10,

You guys.

I mean,

If somebody is really desperate,

Come forward.

But otherwise,

We'll complete till next week.

This is so fantastic to see you,

You guys.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming.

I could feel you so with me on this journey.

And all of you who spoke so bravely about how you were feeling.

Yeah.

And may,

You know,

Maybe not blow ourselves up.

Maybe we all just move into more truth and become braver.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Yeah.

Bye.

Blessings.

Remember,

I'm thinking of you and send you love during the week.

Please,

You're never alone.

You have Alma.

But all I can speak is this one and it's coming all the time to you.

Please.

Right.

Please.

Please.

Please.

All of you.

Yeah.

All of you.

Really.

You're so in my heart.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.