Awareness Satsang: The Truth Of The Lived Spiritual Journey

You know,

On the journey,

The questions and concerns that come up are uniquely ours.

And that's why the journey needs,

You know,

Very individual,

Tender,

Loving care.

Because it is very difficult,

Really,

To move into truth without our idiosyncratic lives being embraced,

Because we've all many lifetimes,

And they give us a particular orientation,

A particular worldview that's uniquely ours,

Even as everything is one.

It's like snowflakes,

You see?

So really,

The point of this is to validate the snowflake level,

The particular beautiful crystal that is you.

So you're all part of God,

But there's this uniqueness to each one of you,

Just like each child is unique and beautiful.

And the challenge with teaching is to validate the uniqueness without getting lassoed by the person's ego.

This is the thing,

And this is where I'll get very hard with you,

Because it's like I can smell the ego,

And we all have them,

But it's to validate the God in you,

And to embrace your ego enough that you can,

To help you just dissolve it,

To just let it dissolve.

It's like a little child finds comfort.

You know,

The little child will go and get a cut,

Kissed better,

And really the pain will go down with the kissing it better.

It's the same principle with this.

It's like it's like kissing it better enough that you can grow beyond the ego.

But anyway,

It's an ongoing,

It's an ongoing learning.

Okay,

So bless your hearts.

Anyone need to speak?

Yes,

Michael.

Hi,

Premasouda.

Hi,

Everybody.

I guess it was a few weeks ago or a couple of weeks ago,

You know,

I spoke to you about having compassion and how it was,

You know,

Bubbling up inside of me.

And then last week,

You know,

We were talking and then you mentioned about I should learn,

You know,

What humanity is and accept humanity.

And when you said that,

It was like,

I'm not even sure what that is.

And then you you mentioned to me that I had scorn on my face.

When you mentioned when you said that,

The kindness,

When I said kindness.

Yeah,

You did.

It was the kindness,

Not the compassion,

But kindness.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so then you mentioned that I had,

You know,

Scorn on my face.

And it's almost like that.

And when you said that,

It was like,

Yeah,

I can relate to that,

That I do have,

You know,

Scorn,

You know,

When I think about humanity,

Because,

You know,

I just,

Sometimes I just don't care about anybody,

Or I don't want to be kind.

Um,

But that's stopping me from moving forward.

And I,

I guess,

And I do know I have it in me very deeply.

But I was just wondering if you could just say something about how,

You know,

Well,

I know,

I don't do anything,

But,

But I would just like to be able to,

You know,

Feel that and feel the humanity.

And lately,

I certainly haven't been able to.

No.

How have you been feeling inside yourself?

Um,

Sometimes,

Lighter.

And thinking less,

I would say.

And then at other times,

And then at other times,

Just feeling a bit in the dumps,

And not sure what it's all about.

Right.

Because with,

This is why people can't come and see this one that often,

Because when Michael came for a session,

And he took off kind of four coats of the ego.

So,

I would think that you're feeling kind of lost and a little afraid underneath.

But this may be wrong.

I'm,

I'm afraid of the journey,

And I'm also afraid that I can't do it.

Right.

Right.

Right.

I know this,

Michael.

Yeah.

And my heart goes out to you,

Because the journey is,

You know,

It's beyond words.

And it's beyond thoughts.

And we've been trained in a very alienated,

Egocentric way of living.

And when we turn to drop this,

These coats that we're wearing,

You know,

It can be very unsettling.

So,

That's where I think you are,

In this very kind of unsettled place.

And at the same time,

You're,

You're doing just what any of us would do,

Which is trying to grab hold,

So that you can make sense of it all,

And,

And make progress.

The way you're wanting to grab hold isn't going to work.

Yeah.

So,

I'm just going to listen a bit more to hear,

Because you and Saskia have been on my mind,

Because you've been making,

You're making big changes.

And it's later in life.

Yeah.

But really,

You're putting words to what everybody in the,

In the group is afraid of,

Really,

Is feeling this at sea,

And lost,

And frightened.

And,

Yeah,

I understand that.

And that's why I offer the satsangs.

But on the other hand,

You know,

This is authentic work.

So,

This is authentic work.

So,

You know,

It's the real deal.

So,

There are challenges in it,

That with a less demanding teacher,

You,

You know,

You wouldn't encounter.

But you all want the real deal.

I understand this.

Okay,

I'm just waiting for some answers to surface within me.

You know,

Michael,

You know,

If,

If it's possible at all,

Could you just,

You know,

Be with just not knowing,

Just be with not knowing,

Like,

You see,

The thing is that the things that work,

I've said many times,

Like,

In a situation like this,

Basically,

Just saying your mantra all the time is the best thing you can do.

Because is the best thing you can do,

Because then what will happen is your,

That will give your soul room to begin to let a new worldview trickle into you.

Do you understand?

It will,

You see,

With all your thinking,

It actually stops the soul from communicating,

Or like the strategizing,

Trying to figure it out.

It's,

You just,

You just,

Except as you become as little children,

You just have to be a little child,

Just not knowing.

And in that space of not knowing,

Doing things like imagining yourself in Amma's body,

Or if that feels weird,

You could imagine yourself in Christ's body,

Or saying your mantra.

It's like,

This is your humanity,

Michael.

You know,

We all get kind of,

The journey is,

Is really unsettling.

And you took off four coats of levels in that one session.

And do you remember,

I was talking to you,

I was going,

I was saying to you,

Now you're going to learn how to be more present.

The thing is,

You see,

Sometimes you guys were learning to be present,

And it's not very comfortable.

We don't want to be present with how we're feeling.

But we've asked to be present.

You see,

So Michael asked to be present.

So when he came for a session,

This one helped,

Or what was coming through this one,

Helped take these defenses off.

So now,

Michael's feeling a little like,

Wow,

I feel a little lost.

I don't know how to handle this.

But actually,

Michael,

You are moving into becoming more present.

You just maybe don't like how you're feeling.

And that's why you left being present in the first place.

This is what you've been running from.

But it's okay just to be there.

Like,

You know,

You might not like it,

But it's,

You're being helped where you want to go,

Or where you said you wanted to go,

Which is up the mountain.

And this is just one of the spots.

Then we have an integration call in next week,

And that will really help you.

Yeah.

Right.

But you guys,

I mean,

The journey,

It's challenging.

But the fulfillment is off the charts,

So.

But Michael,

Sometimes we have to really see how out of alignment we've lived our lives,

You see.

That's actually what I think you need to do,

Is to just see how out of alignment.

And the journaling,

I know,

Maybe males doesn't come so easily,

But,

You know,

You can sort of write out the dead body.

You see,

You can write out the corpse.

And when you write out the corpse and the dead body,

Then you can start feeling springtime again.

You can get the new growth.

Sometimes we're holding on to the corpse.

And we think that corpse is us,

But really it's how out of alignment we've been living our lives.

And there's no fault,

You guys.

It's the human race is in a huge leap.

So this is for all of us.

We all get,

Oh,

I really didn't get it.

And really the journey is that over and over.

Oh,

I thought I understood it,

But I didn't.

And we just get more and more humble.

We get more and more humble,

Like a child.

Okay.

Well,

Right.

It's funny you should say that because I just had a dream last night.

And it was when East and West Germany were still separate.

And I came to this raging river on a snowbank and Saskia,

And I felt fear,

Really fear.

And I didn't know what it was.

And actually Saskia came into the picture beside the snowbank and she started looking around on the ground.

She says,

There's dead bodies all over here.

Right.

Right.

Right.

You know,

Alma talks about jumping in the river of love.

Yeah.

Some people stand on the bank and just stay there.

And other people jump in the river of love that she's flowing in.

In this picture,

In your dream,

It's cold.

So that suggests,

You know,

Alienation,

Like,

You know,

We were far away from healing the loving things.

Yeah.

But it changes,

Michael.

Don't underestimate.

Don't underestimate the power of God's grace,

The Creator's grace,

Alma's grace,

For the sincere seeker.

All of you,

Please don't underestimate that.

It's huge.

It's huge.

And you'll get what you need.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Yeah.

The spiritual journey is like a career path in one way,

In that you have to be totally focused,

But it doesn't work like our usual career things.

It doesn't work the same way.

It's more of a bumbling into it.

And seeing the,

You know,

Letting the corpse of who you've been dissolve.

But it's just like the seed sprouting,

You guys.

The shell dissolves and actually provides food for the little sprout.

You see the beauty of it.

The seed pod provides the food for the sprout.

And it's the same with us when we wake up to how out of alignment we are,

That sort of the shock and horror of it gives us the energy to turn to God more and to put our roots down into the roots of our being.

Tap into the truth of us.

Right.

Right.

Okay.

That hit home.

That's what these satsangs are for.

Help strengthen that.

Tapping into the roots of your being.

And the roots of your being won't make sense to your heads.

The other thing you guys,

You know,

The mantras and the focusing on your heart area.

And the trouble is the people that most need to do it are the ones who won't do it.

Because they're so interested in the content of their mind.

And they allow themselves to be distracted.

But they're the ones who most need to just focus on the heart.

Just train themselves to focus on the heart for months and months and months,

Whatever it takes.

Or say your mantra.

Yes,

Simone.

It sounds so simple.

Could you break that down and tell me what you mean by focus on the heart?

Because what I'm concerned is that I'm like using my mind and making it part of a to do list or something to focus on it like that I'm approaching it the wrong way.

You know what I mean?

Focus on focus on the heart like what do I really what's the response there?

What's the real way of working with my heart so that I can live from my heart?

Yeah,

I feel a little cautious about answering because it's like a child would get it immediately about what focusing on the heart is.

It's like and the conditioned adult could talk about it for two years.

So,

So Simone,

If you're aware of your body,

Just like you'd focus on your third eye,

But you focus on your heart,

So you would with one eye,

Kind of one part of your focus,

Stay with your heart all the time.

Like with that part of your body,

As if you were inhabiting that part of your body,

Particularly,

And at the same time,

You would,

You know,

Have conversations with people or do chores or whatever.

And then when you got lost in the conversations with people or the chores,

You would remind yourself,

Come back to your heart.

The thing about anchoring it in the human body is this work is embodying the divinity.

So it's the hardest work of all.

So if you keep your focus on the physical heart,

As you're going through your day,

That opens a big door to yourselves,

But it will take determination and your ego will not want you to do that.

You know,

When I asked the question,

And there was a pause,

My heart started to answer the question.

Like I could feel a soft,

Like a glow,

Just emanating from the heart.

It's like,

This is focusing on the heart right here.

It's like,

My heart just started to emanate this soft,

Loving glow that like,

Like not,

I don't have to think about it.

But I do have such a sharp,

Focused,

Pointed mind.

And there's,

You know,

Strength in it.

And to like sublimate and just open and just let that glow.

Or experiment with it.

Yeah,

Experiment with it,

Because it will develop over time.

And this is the point you see,

Simone asked a question.

And remember,

I said to you,

When you ask a question,

You actually open the door to the Creator.

So she got the response.

She got that softening in her heart that is actually the answer.

And Simone and I had a conversation last night.

And Simone,

You made that,

You made a beautiful opening into your heart.

So it will just become clearer over time.

And this one had a very sharp,

Well,

In fact,

Basically,

All of us have these sharp intellects.

And this is kind of what we have to learn to like,

Get over in a way.

Because they kind of were,

But at the embodying level,

They can really get in the way and prevent the embodying of our true nature.

So this is all the ambiguity and the,

You know,

Just the whole thing of the journey is just these things become clear over time.

We get it in our bodies,

Simone,

And then our heads go along with it.

We approach things from our head,

And often our heart wilts with the strong glare of the head.

Yeah,

So our heart wilts.

So this is,

It's just the same way that,

You know,

When they do scientific studies about psychic behavior,

It doesn't work in the laboratory,

Because it kills the heart component of the psychic communication,

Do you see?

So it doesn't function so well.

So we think,

Oh,

Psychic abilities don't exist,

But it's,

It's,

They patently exist.

But we kill things with our intellect.

So we have to watch that in the journey.

We have to learn how to sort of dethrone the intellect,

And we allow the heart to be strengthened.

It's,

I often say,

When a woman gives birth,

She immediately becomes a mother,

But changes in her body make,

And her head all transforms immediately.

It's the same principle with the journey.

You will make these shifts in your body at the heart level,

And your head will change as a byproduct.

And the ones who are really stuck are the ones who are using the intellect and squishing the heart.

So it doesn't matter really what I say to them,

As long as they're doing that,

There's going to be non-comprehension,

That they have to see that their heavy use of the intellect is killing their journey.

But it's how we're trained,

You guys,

So this is the hard part.

Remember,

Okay,

Please remember this,

The Creator's grace will do it all.

All you have to do is be sincere.

Be sincere.

Be willing to see where you mess up,

Where you don't get it.

And just keep asking for the Creator's grace.

You know,

Sweet ones,

The only way that this one would ever have made any progress at all was through God's grace,

The Creator's grace,

Amma's grace,

Because the level of delusion and ego was so high.

But this one really knew she didn't know,

Okay,

And that's what that's what saved me,

Is I just always knew,

Boy,

I really don't know,

I really don't understand.

Please show me,

Endlessly.

I'm feeling that you badger yourselves too much,

You guys.

You're on nagging at yourselves,

Bothering yourselves,

Bugging yourselves,

Like,

You're doing it wrong.

Don't do that.

Or watch it,

If you do watch it,

Observe it,

You know.

Nobody got to enlightenment by focusing on their faults,

Okay?

You get to enlightenment by focusing on the Creator,

By focusing on your heart,

By focusing on the Creator,

By focusing on just wanting to be a big love bomb in this world.

You know,

This is one of my problems when people talk about shadow work,

Because it's an intense focus on darkness,

And a much healthier way,

And a much more productive way,

Is to focus on love and embodying love.

And as you do that,

The parts of you that are in the darkness will surface,

And you can let them go,

They can transform.

See,

It's the difference between somebody going,

Okay,

I want to get to enlightenment by focusing on what a miserable sinner I am,

Which will really just take them into ego,

Or you focus on,

I'm a divine being,

I'm here to experience this love within me and share it.

And that's the whole reason for my life.

And when I get that,

I get to complete on the earth plane,

Because I got the joke.

It's like,

You get the joke,

And you get to go,

Who is that?

What's going on?

Oh my goodness.

And then you get to complete.

It's ridiculous,

You guys.

Can you repeat what you just said?

About the big joke,

Or the miserable sinner part,

Or all of it?

No,

The big joke.

Oh,

The big joke?

Okay,

The big joke is that when you realize that,

Sure,

You've got a personality,

A conditioned personality,

With all the faults and stuff,

But at the same time,

You're a divine being,

And you're dreaming this,

And it has no enduring reality.

So,

Your experience of being on this world is that you're dreaming the dream awake.

You're awakening to the joke that we're divine beings.

We just think we're human,

And we think we've got these flaws,

But we're divine beings.

And when you get that,

You can cycle off.

And the thing is that your personality will probably never be completely perfect.

It'll be an approximate perfection,

Because we're on the earth plane.

So,

It's like I say,

Even an awakened being is one or two or three percent ego operating.

I mean,

I can't speak.

Fama seems like a zero percent conditioning operating.

What it is,

You guys,

Is like a great spaciousness.

You're on the right track when you start feeling a kind of a spaciousness.

Most of us walk around with our heads,

Our intellects around us like tightly with no maneuvering room.

And as this intellect,

As we grow beyond it into more trust,

It gets looser and looser and looser,

And it feels more and more spacious,

And that we've got room to maneuver,

And that we're lovable even with our misunderstandings and faults,

And we're not going to be put in front of the firing squad because we have a small,

Because we made a mistake.

There's a spaciousness,

And that's why teachers will laugh,

You know,

The laughing Buddha,

Because the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

You just see the juxtaposition between what the conditioning is telling somebody,

And the truth of their divine nature,

And in that space,

You laugh with love.

Yeah,

Veronica,

Sweet one.

Hi,

Pramasuta.

Hi,

Everybody.

I wanted to share something that happened to me over this past week.

I had a really hard week.

Just some background about me.

I'm a hospice nurse,

And I work very frequently with people who are dying and also their families.

It's like I have to coach their families on how to cope with the process of somebody who's about to pass on,

And I had a particularly hard case,

A few hard cases this past week that caused me a lot of deep grief,

And every other week,

Me and all my co-workers,

We all get together at the office together,

And we pretty much just sit around and gossip about our patients and share,

You know,

What's going on with people,

And somebody,

One of my friends just shared a drop of compassion with me.

She said to me,

She just noticed that I had some difficult people,

And she shared that with me from the heart,

And I could feel that,

And,

You know,

It brought me from,

You know,

Managing all of the things up here to managing everything from here,

And being humbled like that,

I mean,

I was overcome with my emotions at that point,

And I couldn't stop.

It was like this cascade of emotion.

I had to excuse myself at one point,

But then some of my other friends had followed me to comfort me,

And after the meeting,

I had really just tried to decompress myself,

Decompress my nervous system,

And at that point,

You know,

I was trying to meditate,

And I called out to Amma to please just help me with my sorrow,

And I had some visions at that point,

And I did feel like I could hold the grief,

That deep grief,

And continue on from there.

Okay,

Good.

Right.

So,

I'd say when your fellow worker or friend offered you that compassion,

Right,

That you received unconditional love,

And when we receive unconditional love,

Often,

Uh,

If we really receive it,

A lot of emotion will come up like that.

Uh-huh.

Right.

Yeah.

It's actually resistance clearing.

I felt that.

Yeah.

This is it.

I felt a big release.

Right.

Okay.

Now,

Veronica,

This is great.

Now,

This is,

Okay,

This is embodying.

When we embody,

We know it.

You know you're on the right track.

That's the thing,

You guys.

You'll just get data.

You'll know you're on the right track,

And you receive this person's compassion.

It's very beautiful,

Sweetie.

Yeah.

I mean,

That's what this work is.

Now,

You can receive compassion during meditation.

You can receive it through the air,

Too,

And feel emotions releasing,

But it's so much easier when there's another person who just offers it,

And you see the dream.

I mean,

I call it the compassionate way,

And like decades ago,

I was,

We could be doing this for each other and helping each other embody it,

Just as you are talking about,

Veronica,

And I did not realize what a tall order that is because it's so simple when you do it,

Right?

Like,

My hat off to you.

Like,

I bow down to you.

Like,

That's it.

You see,

All this religiosity just gets in the way.

It's this simple.

Now,

Veronica,

I just want to ask,

What was the deep sorrow?

Was it how people were resistant?

How were these people,

Yeah,

What was the deep sorrow that you were feeling,

Like,

To be with?

What was that?

It was many things all at once.

It felt like,

It felt like it just wasn't my own sorrow that I was releasing,

If that makes sense.

Oh,

Totally.

Collected over,

You know,

My life and other lives as well.

Right,

Exactly.

Were people,

Sorry,

You go.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

It was like,

And I know that I had mentioned it felt like a cascade,

But it truly did.

It felt like a cascade through my body and down into,

Down into the earth.

Like,

The vision I had was my,

I was a pyramid and only my head was sticking out of the earth,

But the base extended very far down.

I couldn't tell you how far down.

And that allowed me to ground out this,

This incredibly crushing sensation of weight.

Right.

Me being held down.

It was like,

The deeper I went into imagining myself grounding it out and releasing it into the earth,

The lighter I felt.

Right,

Right.

Always,

You're right about,

You're working with the collective as well,

But always when we feel weight in our bodies,

It is the weight of our own ego too.

Okay.

And when we feel lighter,

That is embodying because enlightenment,

We feel lighter.

It's so simple,

You guys,

That it gets missed.

But Veronica,

What was it about the people that was making you feel sorrowful?

Were they scared?

Or what was the.

.

.

It's a good question.

I think I need to talk on that more.

So the people around me,

I could feel how upset that they were.

And I'm not the only one,

You know,

I'm not the only one in these situations who are feeling these things.

Like I can really empathize with others who I'm around,

You know,

So that I could speak to them on their level in a compassionate way.

And in doing that,

Sometimes,

You know,

I carry that along with me.

Okay,

I,

I'm losing you,

Like,

I'm feeling like you're going away from the truth of it.

I want to just,

I just want to,

Like,

The people that were,

What was it about them?

Like,

You're not clear about what it,

What it was that made you feel so sorrowful?

Like what the,

You know,

If somebody was scared,

Or nobody's family visited them,

There was no particular thing like that,

That made you feel sorrowful?

So the one who I was caring for had family out of state,

And I was in touch with them every day,

Sometimes multiple times per day,

Just to communicate how their loved one was doing,

Which was not good.

It wasn't good.

The whole situation was horrible.

From an outside looking in perspective,

The person was in a great deal of pain,

And didn't have adequate care where they were staying in the care home.

And I was upset that he passed away,

Potentially in pain,

Because dying is not comfortable.

No.

Okay,

And then both in physical and also in metaphor.

Right.

And the family wasn't moved to visit at all.

They did.

They did.

They did visit after I had encouraged him to do so.

His cousin,

It was his cousin,

Who was his primary caregiver.

I encouraged him to come and visit.

And in speaking with him,

I discovered that his brother was a Capuchin friar,

Which I had also cared for some friars in the past.

So in discussion,

And finding that we had that connection was pretty incredible.

And I was able to convince him to come and bring his brother and pray over the one who I had been caring for.

And that was relieving.

It's cool.

It's cool.

It's,

Yeah,

I'm very touched,

Sweetie.

I'm very touched.

You see,

The level that you're allowing yourself to love your patients.

This is what works.

This is the way Amma loves us.

And when we love like that,

We feel the great sorrow of what happens in this culture.

We feel the great sorrow of the climate of alienation,

The lack of loving,

The lack of care,

The brutality,

Actually,

Of what our normal is.

And we feel the great sorrow of it.

And sweet one,

We move into truth.

Okay.

And that's what you're doing.

I just wish to validate this.

At the same time,

I'm also Yeah,

I'm also,

I mean,

I hope you,

You come more because I,

This one really wants to.

It's like,

Your soul wants you to go up in your understanding.

Even as you're just working there and doing your thing.

But your soul's wanting you to come to a higher level of understanding.

And for you to see your worth,

Your intrinsic worth more,

Your the courage with which you allow yourself to feel the depth and the,

And the sharing of compassion.

Yeah.

This is the divine feminine,

Really,

That you're.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Right.

Yeah,

Well,

Thank you.

You see,

One of the things with the spiritual journey,

We can get so caught in the miserable sinner trying to fix ourselves,

You see that we miss trying to fix ourselves,

You see that we miss the plot.

We miss the heart of the journey.

It's actually why hospice work is just a great place for the spiritual journey.

I actually applied to do hospice work.

And I was interviewed by two very corporate women,

And they were frightened that I was just too,

You know,

Spiritual.

This is like,

Oh,

My goodness.

I'm like,

Oh,

It's just,

You know,

And and for me,

It was like another level of Oh,

Boy,

I can't even fit into this culture,

You know.

So it was,

It was challenging for me.

Right.

Yeah,

Thank you,

Veronica.

And may Alma's grace just follow you.

Just Yeah.

Remember,

Where we are,

It's a tall,

All of our past lives have brought us to where we are,

We are the farthest along that we have ever been.

And please,

Please value yourselves and don't go.

Oh,

Veronica's got it all sewn up.

And I don't don't do that.

Please,

Please.

We all have,

We all have like different paths are different journeys.

Wherever you are is right where you need to be.

Please,

Please.

The thing you know,

About Veronica's example is that it is in the sharing of this love that we that is the most accelerative thing we can do.

So you don't even have to have a hospice job,

You can share it everywhere.

And this is where I feel sometimes students are a little deaf.

It's kind of like it is it is what works you guys sharing it.

And you know,

When we're sharing out of our own great vulnerability,

Then that is what comes back to us and it strengthens us.

It will strengthen your connection to God.

There's a real difference between the journey between where where we are for standing on the riverbank watching and deciding if it's really safe to jump in or not.

And when somebody's jumped in,

You see,

You're all very beautiful.

It's like I'm,

You know,

I,

This one couldn't help but respond in that way to Veronica because it is the compassion is palpable.

The thing that you know,

Would be such grace to see is everybody just moving forward a little bit more into the feminine to allowing the feminine more room.

And for guys,

If you do this,

This will bring you into more strength,

More masculine strength.

If you do it at a deep level,

There's kind of a wimpy surface level of,

Of,

But that's not that's not helpful.

So really deep,

Deep level.

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Okay,

Good.

There's a shift in the group.

It's really deep level of coming into the feminine,

The divine feminine,

Which is so needed.

You see,

We can circle round in that masculine analytical,

Figuring it out to the cows come home,

And we'll miss the plot.

It is this very deep feminine energy that returns everything to center.

See,

We're so extreme on the accumulation and analysis and figuring things out.

And the feminine will bring us back to center.

So then we can function with both the masculine and the feminine,

The wings,

Two wings of the bird.

Even the women are off balance towards the masculine.

So you know,

It'll be a moment where you,

You're walking down the street,

And there's somebody,

Homeless person instead of kind of a knee jerk,

I don't know what the usual,

You just suddenly feel a compassion for them.

Or a friend,

Or somebody walking down the street,

You just feel this compassion for their humanity.

That's it.

There's a willingness,

There's a greater willingness to do this.

You know,

The masculine is involved in protection.

So we can self protect ourselves,

But the feminine's more,

She's not into protection so much.

She's into like,

You know,

Mother Nature gives her gifts freely.

Yeah,

Let that in.

Let that in.

And I'll tell you,

Your ego will rebel,

But just keep doing it.

Hear the rebellion and keep doing it.

You know,

Michael,

There is a figure in your picture of somebody running down the street and running away.

That's so funny.

This is what you're running away from in yourself.

It's okay,

We'll talk in a week.

All will be well with you.

Just be with yourself.

Yeah.

You guys,

The reason this one can do this kind of work is because all the potholes that I fell into,

You see?

It's a joke.

The more potholes a teacher fell into,

The better the teacher.

Really,

Because they know all the,

They know all the possible danger points,

And they've been humbled.

This is a bit of a claim to fame,

But I don't mean it that way.

I just mean it like there's nothing in your experience that I haven't experienced in my version.

Do you understand?

There's nothing that you're doing that is so very wrong or deluded.

It's just what the journey's like.

See,

Most Westerners,

We've been taught to disrespect the feminine.

We've been taught to disrespect the feminine badly.

Even the inner feminine energy,

We tend to squish.

But it's the thing that we need to grow.

This can't be figured out with your head.

Because if you're doing that,

You're doing the analytical thing.

That won't work.

I'm feeling some of you are going to get dreams.

I'm feeling a whole bunch of dreams are being,

Um,

Interesting.

There's this deep feeling as if you've allowed more feminine energy in,

And because of that,

Like we're at a really deep level.

Because of that,

What's,

You're allowing some dreams,

Some understanding,

Some units of consciousness to come to you.

You're opening up on a very deep level.

Just go,

Me too.

Okay.

Don't say,

Oh,

I don't feel it.

Don't do that.

Just go,

Okay,

Me too.

I'm seeing these dreams will be coming down the line for you to help.

Hi,

Pramasutha.

Tiffany.

Hey,

I,

Um,

Maybe just wanted to share a little bit about,

Uh,

Something that was bubbling up for me.

Um,

You had mentioned before to me about sometimes I get pictures in my mind bubbling up and to feel and to try to feel and decode these pictures rather than analyze the pictures.

So this one picture of the movie Brokeback Mountain from 2005 kept coming up and it had come up many times for me as a significant movie,

For whatever reason.

It's a movie about two gay men with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal.

And it was very famous at the time and still is,

But it's basically about this love story,

This between two men on Brokeback Mountain and the only time they're allowed to love really,

And physically be together,

Um,

Was on this mountain.

And in the movie,

They express their frustration as well of this forbidden love.

Um,

And in the end,

One of the men gets murdered because of this love.

Anyway,

So the,

It kept bubbling up for me and I just kind of prayed to Amman.

I was like,

Well,

You know,

What does this mean?

Because you,

You've been telling me,

You know,

Don't,

Don't analyze the picture.

So I just prayed.

And then this feeling about forbidden love kind of,

It surfaced more about how,

And then I had this deep sorrow and just this crying over the tenderness between the men and that the lack of tenderness that I could give myself.

Um,

And it had nothing to do with sexuality at all,

Really.

It was more about this forbidden love,

Deep love,

Connection of humanity,

Connection with each other that,

You know,

I had lost,

Have lost and want to connect back to.

And I could feel that as Simone was talking and Veronica and Michael about this,

You know,

Loss of love,

Loss of soul,

But also the,

How it's forbidden in our culture and the difficulties to connect back or how it seems like it's not allowed,

Not allowed.

Um,

And also to remind myself to be tender,

Because in that moment,

It also felt like receiving darshan in a way from Amman energetically,

Or like a hug,

Uh,

Of this new,

I guess,

Feeling of tenderness in a different way that I hadn't experienced before.

Yeah.

So that's like a soul retrieval.

And yeah,

I mean,

Even I remember,

You know,

We have movies like this and the,

You know,

The love,

I mean,

The guy gets murdered.

I mean,

We get these images over and over again.

I remember when I was raising the boys,

There was one called Powder,

And it was about a young man with psychic abilities and he dies.

And I remembered going,

Why is it always this way?

You know,

We're just imprinting ourselves with alienation over and over again.

Yeah.

So like,

Good.

This is,

You see thoughts,

You know,

When we get these images,

Like Stephanie with the,

With the movie,

You know,

Rather than going,

Okay,

This is just a thought and,

And we'll,

We'll cut it.

You can actually do a contemplation like that and,

And focus on it and retrieve the message.

You know,

If something's bothering you,

Or it keeps coming up,

There's something in it for you,

A gift.

Right.

So awesome.

Stephanie,

That's good.

That's it.

I mean,

That's the kind of stuff this one did.

Yeah.

And take it really,

Really personally.

Like,

Allow the full gift to be given.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

The lack of love is heartbreaking.

It's heartbreaking.

Yeah.

Like,

This is where I say we're like abused children,

You see.

Yeah.

When you really start waking up,

You see how askew our culture is.

And then you see how,

How could it possibly have a good ending?

It can't.

So it's better to go against the culture and recover your soul energy.

And that will help the culture.

And it will also keep you safe.

Because of God's grace,

Basically.

Mama's grace,

The Creator's grace.

You're being held in grace right now.

All of us are.

I can feel the roots of your beings,

And I can feel how the truth of you is being strengthened.

You know,

For some of you,

You could feel increased conflict after this.

Just because the roots of your being are being strengthened.

Some of you will just might be able to just receive it seamlessly.

Some of you,

If the ego is more in control,

With this strengthening of the roots,

You might be a little more bothered this week.

But don't worry about it.

Just,

Just keep going.

Keep the focus on your art.

Just keep going.

Because these dreams are in in line for you.

And it's,

This is breakthrough time,

You guys.

This is the last call.

This is the last call of the last call,

Kind of.

It is breakthrough time.

It is now or never.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Simone.

Um,

You were saying something about the,

You know,

How humanity is askew,

And it's really sad.

And there are times that when I meet others with warmth and loving kindness,

And just do that dorky thing and just like say the thing and just compliment people just because I want to or just like break through.

Sure.

Um,

I,

I meet them in the place where they're also they're loving and kind.

No.

So I feel hopeful.

Yeah,

That's how you do it.

That's how you be the change you want to see.

That is what will change things.

Yay.

That's it.

Yeah,

I just wanted to say that I can see lots of tenderness and heartfulness and so much loving kindness in people.

I see.

Yeah,

When I'll tell you when we're living it,

We will see it.

That's it.

And it will we will fertilize it in others,

And it will be fertilized in us.

That's it.

This is what will change things.

Yay.

There's something bothering you.

You know,

Sweetie,

I've talked in other satsangs about like the philosophical underpinnings of the Western culture and why we're,

We are the way we are,

You know,

So when I say all this stuff,

It's it's from long contemplation.

And if we understand that our normal is askew,

Then it can help us just decide to live the way you are,

Simone,

Being the change you want to see.

This is how cultures change.

But I know from our conversation,

Yeah,

You made that big shift into your heart.

So you made it.

And then after we spoke a bit,

You,

You pulled back and,

And stood kind of in the shadows,

Just trying to figure out,

Figure it out more.

So that's what I feel you're doing.

And don't worry about it.

It's just it's all good.

All good.

You will just come into your heart in a you will just come into your heart in a in a much deeper way.

As you go along.

There's no argument between what you said and what I've been saying,

Sweet one.

None.

One of the things abused children do is they pull back and they go,

Is it really going to be safe in this new family?

Or am I going to get hurt again?

Okay.

So this is what students do.

It's all good.

It's all good.

We've got our own journeys to walk,

You know,

We have to follow our own guidance and move the pace that we can.

I remember going up and getting a hug from Amma.

And maybe I asked a question or something.

And I,

And also got a hug.

And I was devastated afterwards,

Because I couldn't feel her love.

I didn't feel any love coming from her in that whole encounter.

And I was shocked and scared.

And it was a replay of my family of origin.

And thankfully,

There was someone there and I said this to and there was someone there and interesting,

His name was the same name as a member of my family as my brother.

And he said,

Go,

Go back up and tell her.

And of course,

I'd already had a hug for a day,

You can't go get another hug,

Right?

Like you're not allowed.

So it was like breaking a rule.

He even contemplate that which was,

You know,

Oh my god,

You're not allowed to do it.

But indeed,

I went up to Swamiji.

And I went,

Swamiji,

I didn't feel the love.

And he said,

He said,

He went,

Go,

Go get in line,

Get in line,

He's trying to get rid of me quickly,

You know.

And so I got in line.

And I,

I went up to Amma again,

And I and I got a hug.

And I said to her,

I didn't feel the love.

And Amma said to me in English,

I knew that.

I knew you didn't get it.

See,

I didn't get it.

Because I was this was a big,

Alienated wall in me.

And I had to choose to go through it and connect up with her.

And otherwise,

I would have sat on the other side of that alienated wall.

And it was the last hug in the retreat.

So if I was,

That's why I went up and spoke to her,

Because I did not want to be left with this level of alienation.

I couldn't do that to myself.

Yeah,

I love myself too much to let myself be stuck in that alienation without taking a step,

Which is a going forward and asking for another hug,

Which wasn't allowed.

But because it was allowed,

I mean,

Because it was sincere,

Those rules didn't apply.

Those rules didn't apply.

No rule will apply.

I once went up for,

I maybe told you,

I think I told you I was working with this child who had leukemia and the parents were doing what the child was dying and they were trying every single process to help her and it was she was suffering so terribly for it and I couldn't stand it.

The mother had asked me to work with the child energetically.

So when I went up to the,

I was at the ashram and I went up and all the doors were open.

I did not have a token card.

I went up,

Do you know what the lineup,

They let me through,

They let me through,

They led me right to Amma.

Right to Amma.

I didn't have a token card.

All I had was this incredible compassion for this little child and I cried in her arms.

You know,

It's all the rules will dissolve.

The power of your heart,

The power of love,

And just be very patient with yourselves and,

You know,

If you're not certain of something,

Listen to this again and you'll hear it differently.

Yeah.

Well,

You guys,

It's safe to love.

This is the message.

It's safe to love.

It's far safer to love than not.

Yeah,

Saskia.

Hi.

Morning,

Everybody.

Thank you for saying that.

That is so,

It's so good to hear that.

I woke up to a dream this morning or a picture actually.

I dropped off my son at the dentist yesterday or one day and it was a street with houses and the sun was shining,

There were flowers,

The houses were colorful.

It was just an alive street.

And this morning when I woke up,

I saw the same street,

But it was totally stripped of everything.

It was like burnt earth.

The houses,

Everything was still there,

But totally dead.

And I looked and I don't know,

I woke up standing there looking for my sister.

And I was so surprised because it's like,

Oh,

The street is not really with flowers and colors.

It's really underneath.

It's burned,

It's dead.

And listening to all of you in the chat saying that was so good because it makes me want to run out there and love.

You know,

Like when I was a child,

I wanted to run out and share my smarties with the homeless guys and everybody laughed at me.

And it's actually that what I want to do again.

And I'm just,

I don't know if that's connected to that,

To that burned houses,

But I just wanted to say that.

Yeah.

And you know,

In my experience,

I'd have dreams like that,

Where it was like ego death,

Right?

Yeah.

I think you and Michael are in the same spot.

Your,

Your egos are dying.

And yeah,

Signs of spring.

And yeah,

We recover that.

What we were like as little kids,

How loving we were.

And we can act like that as grownups,

You guys,

You can do it.

You just do it.

Let's do it.

Yeah,

There's nothing stopping you.

The only thing stopping you is your head.

Yeah.

I mean,

The sad thing is people get caught in this kind of fake religious journey.

And they,

They just get caught in their heads.

And they're not even doing the simplest holding a door open for somebody or a smile to a mom who's stressed or going over to a mom who's having trouble with the kids,

You know,

Some simple action.

Yeah,

Share it,

You guys.

If you don't share it,

There's no hope at all.

None.

There's no hope.

You'll just be stay caught in your mind forever.

No,

I should say that.

But there's nothing to bring you out of your mind.

If you share it,

You will feel immediate relief.

So Saskia,

You know,

The truth of it is the flowers.

But we have to,

You know,

In the beautiful picture,

But we have to lose it in order to find it again on a deeper level.

So how are you feeling right now?

Yeah,

It's the deeper level.

I share a lot.

These little things.

I share a lot in my daily life.

And that's what I thought is the lights and the flower,

But it's not and it's the deeper thing.

I feel the deeper thing.

That's the burnt houses and the dark.

And it just,

You know,

It's kind of feels a bit like a caterpillar in a dark thing.

And yeah,

It's okay.

I just it's it's uncomfortable,

Sweetie.

It feels sad.

It feels sad.

But it also I don't know,

In a weird way,

It feels like home.

I think I've been sitting in there for a long time.

Right?

It's coming back to the truth of you.

But this is,

You know,

It's when we realize how dead to our true natures we've been.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just keep embracing all of this.

And you'll just be brought to a deeper understanding and a deeper compassion.

Yeah.

You guys,

You see,

This is what happens is,

You know,

So,

You know,

We had World War One and World War Two,

Because we,

We,

We,

We've,

We've done it.

Outwardly,

We didn't know how to do the inner work of transforming.

So we actually then had these burnt buildings,

Had these destroyed buildings,

You see,

We had it in the physical,

And then we addressed it in the physical and built a new society,

But it's totally possible for a population to do inward work and avoid the whole,

A whole war,

Just because they're able to move through this kind of level.

In an individual life,

And enough,

If enough individuals do it,

It will have peace.

You seem a little shocked and scared to me,

Saskia,

And I'm telling you that to help you actually embrace more the truth of you.

Yeah,

We all tend to like we're scared,

We try to put a good face on it for the teacher and everything,

But there's no point because the teacher knows.

I've had a lot of these experiences since I saw you,

Like coming,

Like dark truth is coming out about me.

And not this deep as now,

But also on a deeper level than before.

And then truth came out and I wanted to first run out and do something.

And then I thought,

No,

No,

No,

This doesn't feel right.

It's just hurting.

And so I started writing in my journal,

Like,

It's just hurting.

And so I started writing in my journal,

Like a mad person,

I wrote it like all down.

And then it was okay.

But that was not on a level as deep as this one.

That's why maybe I feel not shocked.

It's more,

Yeah,

Maybe shocking,

Surprised.

It's just one deeper.

Yeah,

It's this,

You know,

We're and both of you are letting go of control at a very deep level.

So you know,

My hat off,

And you're doing this when you're a married couple.

So like my double hat off,

Like,

No,

Really,

Please have compassion for yourselves for this.

For the level of the challenge.

Yeah.

And you guys just keep asking for grace,

You know?

Right.

Okay.

Yeah,

The journey is,

You know,

Much deeper than we realize.

But this is the level that really helps the world.

And also we,

You know,

It,

It will be a quantum leap if you will,

It is a time where many people are,

Are cycling off.

But even if not that you,

You can,

You can jump many,

Many lifetimes at this time.

You know,

I'm gobsmacked,

We've,

We've been able to speak at this level.

And yeah,

I bow down to your sincerity.

Right.

You mean me?

Or the whole group?

Yeah,

The whole group.

Yeah,

But yeah,

You too,

Saskia,

You too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh,

Saskia,

I just want to ask you,

I sent you an email,

But I guess you didn't see it.

When you talked about you and Michael were sitting in the car,

And all of a sudden,

The satsang came on.

Was that in one of your phones?

I answered,

I answered that email.

Oh,

I never got it.

Oh,

I haven't seen it.

Yeah.

We've been driving in the car,

We've been driving for 10 minutes,

My phone was off just lying there.

And Michael's phone had the Navi on.

And it's not unusual that sometimes my phone starts with a satsang where I left it.

But this was different.

It was,

I didn't turn it on,

Or it was just literally lying there.

And 10 minutes after we've been driving,

You started talking in the car on the car speaker.

It's so good to see you all,

Like the beginning of the satsang.

Yeah,

That's number three thing.

And there's another thing,

Which is,

I don't know if I'll say it tomorrow,

Too.

But I go to these satsangs with a guy I just adore listening to.

And all of a sudden,

The computer altered and made me the host,

And made me able to end his satsang,

Which is just off the wall.

Like,

You know,

And then it disappeared again.

But that was number four thing of the technology.

And and I think what this is,

Is I think all this technological thing is a measure of getting through the to the collective more.

And also,

For the understanding,

You see,

Even machines are hostage to this level of energy.

It is the truth of things.

Love prompts any machine,

Any rule,

Love trumps.

Amma has showed that over and over and over.

And that's what you guys need reassurance about,

Is this love trumps any stupid rule that your ego's got,

Any ridiculous fear that your ego's got.

The love in you is capable of healing the whole thing.

It's like this,

This is the that was the fourth technological miracle that happened.

I mean,

The universe is really like,

Do you get it yet?

Do you get it yet?

Here's number four.

And and I actually also think that technology is like a metaphor for our egos,

You know,

But yeah.

Right,

It's way bigger,

You guys,

It's real.

It's way bigger than your heads understand.

And it's really real that love wins.

It just takes great courage at every step.

That's what this one found.

And the other thing is,

You guys,

If you're expressing compassion,

Sometimes people will respond beautifully,

And sometimes it won't be treated very well.

So just look at it like you're,

You're,

It's a bit of karma coming back if it isn't treated well.

And then just avoid those people.

Don't,

Don't do it again.

If it's not treated well,

Then just don't interface.

Don't,

Don't do it.

But you may be clearing karma from another life.

So just always keep going.

It's like this one with the,

With the ama,

You know,

Not feeling the love.

And I was,

You know,

Again,

It's breaking the rules to have another hug.

And I was terrified that she,

That she didn't really love this one.

Underneath,

I was scared that I was always going to be on the outside.

But indeed,

When I went forward,

Look what happened,

You know,

Swami was so cute.

Oh,

Go away,

Go away.

An emotional female,

It's like,

Oh,

It was so cute.

It was so cute.

Yep.

Okay,

Well,

You guys remember these,

These dreams coming down the line,

Whether you remember them or not.

Okay.

And all my love for you.

All my love and all my compassion for these steps.