Awakening Vaetchanan: Torah Mussar Mindfulness, 46th Sitting

Great.

Okay,

Welcome.

It is now 730pm here in Israel,

1230 in Eastern Standard Zone and 930 in the Pacific Coast.

We welcome you on zoom or live streaming on our YouTube channel or Facebook and some folks come on either Twitter or LinkedIn.

I am Ravekh Fassio Uriel Steinbauer,

The founder and director of the Institute for Holiness,

Kilaat Musar.

I'm delighted that you're here to practice and learn from Torah,

The Hebrew Bible.

We have moved into the Torah portion of the Etchanan and basically that translates as I pleaded and it's essentially Moshe Rabbeinu,

Moses,

Continuing his long talks and almost speeches to the young generation that is about to enter the land of Canaan where he imparts what he fears for them,

What he expects and wants from them and this is a continuation of it that we just explored in Devarim which I put out the teaching from that today so hopefully you'll have a chance to look at it if you haven't.

But before we begin,

We always begin with our kavana,

Our intention for today's practice.

So first I'm just going to state that we learned this Torah portion throughout Jewish communities in the world.

We're now on the same page,

Israel and outside of Israel,

Yesterday on Shabbat and the date for it was August 13th,

Today is the 13th and it was Tetzaiim of the Hebrew month Av which we are in and Taf Shempei Bet of the year and so let's jump in with our kavana,

Our intention for today that we have every week in this offering of awakening Torah,

Musar,

Mindfulness.

For those of you who are watching with vision,

You will have the kavana,

The intentions in front of you.

For those of you either listening by audio or who are low vision or who are blind,

You will hear me read them now.

So the first one says before doing acts of caring for the self.

So we see this act of meeting together to learn together and to practice guided mindfulness meditation as caring for the self and so we say this is something I'm doing to strengthen my own soul in order to be of benefit to others in the future and then we also see besides our relationship to the self,

Our relationship with others and this is the second one.

So we say before doing acts for others because we see as practicing to be better people,

How we treat other people,

This is something I'm doing to strengthen my relationship to others so I can be a better conduit of God's good to others when they need me and the final one,

We see this as an act that we're also doing to strengthen our relationship with the divine however we may understand the divine,

The creator,

God,

Hashem,

However we may word the divine presence.

So we say this is something I'm doing to strengthen my relationship with the creator so I can be a better conduit of God's good to others when they need me.

So we maybe merit today that we bring this to our practice and allow us to really jump in and get something from our ancestors in this Torah portion.

This Torah portion is enormous,

Okay?

All of them are very big in the Varem in the book of Deuteronomy,

The fifth book of the Hebrew Bible of the Torah and so there's so much to cover but I really just want to hone in on some really specific key areas because we had already started a pattern that we noticed we were looking at wise speech and wise discernment and now we're actually looking at the concept of love.

Now what do we mean by love?

Well we can mean many things by love,

Right?

A love could be the type that we stereotypically see in western culture and romantic movies where it's more about lust but love here in the Torah is a verb.

It's something you do through acts,

Through fidelity,

Through loyalty,

Through acts of following the Torah,

The laws.

So that's how you love God,

Right?

So you could basically see the Torah and this is what Moshe is reminding us in this in this Torah portion.

It's basically God laying out almost like a marriage contract.

These are the laws,

This is what you do and if you do them that shows that you love me.

That shows that you're loyal to me,

Right?

This shows that you have faith and so let's jump into some very specific areas.

We want to be very careful what we mean by love and so in the dharma tradition there's a concept of metta,

Loving kindness and we have it called chesed,

Loving kindness in the Jewish tradition.

Now you can think of that as a kind benevolent heart,

Right?

One of my teachers,

Anna Morenis,

Defines it as generous sustaining benevolence,

Love in this way.

So if you it usually begins with a quality of wishing well towards someone but also doing deeds to care for them,

Right?

And so but you have to be very careful with love.

Love can also have what's called a near enemy and a far enemy in the dharma.

What does that mean?

Near enemy means it disguises as a wholesome quality and it's quite different from what is really love.

So a near enemy would basically be a kind of attachment,

A possessive conditional love and we're going to witness that.

We've witnessed that all throughout the Torah but particularly during the 40 years in the desert and now here in this Torah portion that there is definitely an attachment to certain ways that God expects b'nai Israel to behave,

The children of Israel.

It's also how Moshe Rabbeinu,

Our teacher,

Moses expects them to behave.

There is an attachment to a certain outcome so it's in a conditional love and it's one that if you do this then you get this,

Right?

And so true love,

At least the way that we understand it in our Moosar mindfulness practice,

Is an outflowing right of wellness where you want to actually relieve suffering and pain.

It's well-wishing without seeking anything in return.

There's no agenda of what's in it for me,

For instance.

We might feel love towards those close to us but in that moment it can turn into attachments,

Right?

Where we have an agenda,

Where we hope and expect something from whoever we claim that we're loving in that moment,

Right?

So we want to look at this for our own practice when we go into our sitting also later.

Now you can see the difference between enjoying and wishing someone well versus having an agenda that they act in a certain way,

Okay?

So the far enemy,

We had just talked about the near enemy,

The far enemy of chesed,

Of loving kindness,

Of metta,

Of love,

Is aversion,

Is ill will,

Is even hatred.

So the heart is closed and far from that kind-hearted benevolence.

Now we see this happen also throughout the Torah and we're going to see it in this Torah portion and we saw it back in Bamibar in the desert,

That when those conditions are not met,

When that conditional love was not met,

You're expected to behave this way as the children of Israel and when you don't,

Then there is unbelievable judgments and unfortunately ill will and sometimes even hatred might be a little too strong but there's this sense,

At least from Beni Israel,

They feel when they are being judged and there's not compassion that there's a feeling that God hates them,

That God doesn't love them and you see this language.

So last week's parsha,

Last week's Torah portion,

Devarim,

Moshe even reminds the people that when the spies,

The scouts came back and they were sulking outside their tents and crying and being all upset from the report that was given to them,

That they had said God hates us and that God took us out of Egypt in order to have us be conquered by these Amorites and so we see this interplay that when love has this conditional element,

It can so easily turn into ill will and either internally for oneself or towards the other.

So we see also Moshe and even God having judgment and not having compassion and then having punishment or consequence and so we want to keep this in mind.

So for today,

What you see here is Moshe telling everyone his plea that he wants to enter the land and God will not let him enter the land,

That this is the consequence,

The punishment for his behavior and the language that's constantly used by God is actually he says,

Rav Lach,

Altos sef devar elai.

Okay,

This is in chapter three in Passuch 26 verse 26.

He says enough,

It's enough for you.

Never speak to me of this matter again.

You're not entering the land of Canaan and this type of language we talked about before that this can be actually a scene in some way as an act of love.

It's going to sound interesting and maybe a little odd,

But it's an act of love when God finally lays these boundaries and says it's enough.

We've had this conversation,

I've already told you you're not entering,

Right?

And when God reminds us when God says Rav Lach or Rav Lacha,

It's enough for you,

It's time for you to turn,

It's time for you to do other behavior.

That is a constant reminder for us to look at our practice and who we are.

And so we're going to take that in our practice today and the last two weeks of the month of Av before we head into Elul,

The month that we prepare before the new year of Rosh Hashanah,

Where we're really doing that great inner work of taking responsibility,

Trying to ask for forgiveness where we've done wrong,

It's time for us to say Rav,

Right,

It's enough to us,

It's enough,

We need to turn and behave differently,

Right,

It's time for us to practice.

So let's jump into some examples here that I wanted to share with you before we move on into the practice.

You have to watch the relationship,

The language is very,

Very close paying attention to the language.

So right here,

Where there's two key things that happen in this parasha of Ve'et Chanan,

One is in chapter four,

Pesuk one through four,

There's a great concern,

I would say fear,

Fear based concern of adding to the Torah or taking anything away from the Torah.

And that means like adding a mitzvah,

Adding a commandment,

And taking away one,

There's this fear.

And it's really based in the culture that it comes out of that the people will somehow end up worshiping idols around them with the cultures of the other people around them if they begin to take away commandments,

Or add to them.

All right,

And but that gets it gets interpreted later by rabbinic exegesis,

Our ancestors in the Middle Ages,

For instance,

The rabbis,

You know,

That also have that great concern that people will either assimilate,

Which comes later,

Or you know,

If you take on the practices of someone else,

There's that fear that you somehow will end up joining that other people or marrying someone right.

Again,

This is fear based,

This is a conditional love,

It's a conditional relationship.

And we have been living with that,

Right,

We've been living in this covenant in this brief in this way for a long time.

And we have to hold that we have to honor that and one hand,

But at another time,

We have to say,

How is this working for us?

And how can we be in a different relationship with God if possible?

And how can we be in a different relationship with each other in the in the community and at large,

The second great concern for the Ed Hanan is that in that we are supposed to do what is right and good in the eyes of the Lord.

And the rabbis get really concerned with this because they say,

Why is this being commanded?

Why?

Like,

Why does this even say this in the Torah?

Why does it say in this Torah portion that we are to do right and good?

The assumption is if you followed all the precepts,

All the laws of the Torah that have already been given to us,

Then you will of course be doing what's right and good in the eyes of the Lord.

Why does this have to be even stated is an additional thing here.

And you get different commentary,

You get some that say,

Oh,

It's about making sure and the famous one,

Of course,

Is Ram ban coming out of,

I believe,

Spain in the Middle Ages,

Where he is very key to teach that it's possible to keep the letter of the law,

Yet violated spirits,

Right by becoming kind of a fool within the law of itself.

And so,

You know,

The examples are given that the person eats kosher,

For instance,

But will eat like a ton and be a glutton,

Right and eat so much at the whole buffet.

So that's like an example given,

I'm going to actually stretch this a little farther and say that if we are not fear based,

And if we can love and appreciate that we're,

We're,

If we're adding anything,

That it's in the direction of attempting to love God achieve greater closeness with God.

And it might be also for us to be greater closeness to others,

And to care for one another to cause less harm and suffering.

Right.

And so sometimes not everything is covered in the Torah.

Even the rabbis over time have to admit this,

This is why there's flexibility and forming what the law is based on where we live in which time.

And so because everything is that present,

We have to have this flexibility of knowing what is right and good in the eyes of the Lord and live it.

Now this taps back into Beresheet.

And also in the beginning that were our first book of the Torah and also in Exodus and Shemot,

Where we were residing in Egypt or ancestors,

Where we talked about if someone was religious,

The term that was used was fear of God,

They had a fear of God.

And what that meant,

As I've taught before,

Is this,

You had an internal moral compass,

Meaning you understood what right from wrong and you lived by it.

So the classic example that I always bring as the midwives in Egypt who were commanded by Pharaoh by Paro to murder the Hebrew baby boys.

And they refuse to do so not to par for Paro's face to the Pharaoh's face.

But they instead made up a lie.

And they said,

We arrived too late,

Every time we arrive,

The Hebrew women have already given birth.

Okay,

And but they're they and it even states that they had a fear of God.

It shows that they knew that it was wrong to murder these baby boys.

And they weren't going to follow the edict of Pharaoh,

They weren't going to commit genocide in this way,

Right.

So that is a continuation from our ancestors early on,

Of doing what is right and good in the eyes of the Lord.

And so it makes perfect sense to me,

That we're going to have that tradition come down to us,

Even with the people outside of the institution of slavery now,

We're about to enter the land of Canaan,

That they still carry that moral compass,

That knowing which is called fear of God.

Right.

So you know,

It for us today,

We really most of us when we think of fear of God,

It's not a positive thing.

It's not a thing where we think we want to actually cultivate it.

We rather talk about love,

Right.

But all love needs healthy boundaries.

As I talked about,

You want to make sure it doesn't become the near enemy of possessive conditional love attachment,

Or the far enemy where it eventually becomes aversion or ill will or hatred,

Right.

And so it has to be healthy,

It has to be balanced.

And for our ancestors,

Their expression of devotion and faith and love was based on fearing God in the sense of,

I know what's right and wrong,

And I'm going to live by that code.

So let me see what's the last thing I want to share with you in this teaching.

Something beautiful happens here,

Which is yeah,

Let's see here.

In chapter four,

In verses 21 and 22,

Most most most Moshe Moses is continuing to replay doing that kind of rumination where he's getting caught up and reacting to his thoughts.

He's now doing it in speech.

He says the Lord was angry with me on your account,

Again,

Kind of blaming the other right.

This is where the ill will is coming in judgment.

And he swore that I would not cross the Jordan and enter the good land right.

He says for I must die in this land,

I will not cross,

But you will cross.

And then he goes on him.

So he shares this with the people.

And you can sense there's real sadness and maybe even bitterness,

A little bit of ill will,

But then there's there's an an act of love.

I think we can interpret behind this,

Which is that I think he's showing Israel,

The B'nai Israel,

The children of Israel,

That they can't take entering the land for granted,

That here are greatest prophets,

Our greatest grandfather,

Father,

You know,

Father figure,

Our greatest teacher,

Moshe Rabbeinu,

Is not allowed to enter the land.

Right.

And so he here,

This people is allowed to enter,

But he's showing them,

Don't take it for granted here.

I've been barred from it.

If anyone should enter,

It should be me.

Right.

That's what Moshe is trying to say.

And I think what he's giving as a warning long term is that he doesn't want the people to worship him after his death.

There is this fear that he,

If he actually entered the land,

Would be made into like a godlike figure,

Because that's how he's carried the people through the land.

Right.

And so in some ways he can't enter,

But he's doing this act of.

It's I think it's an act of love towards the people who are recalling that he is mortal,

That he's completely in some ways under the control of God by having such a close intimate relationship and being God's prophet.

And that despite all the closeness to God and all the deeds and the supernatural miracles that he witnessed and even help bring forth,

Right.

By being kind of the arm and agents of God,

That he is not deserving of worship like an idol or anyone else,

And that he's not entering the land.

Right.

That he has a limit.

Also,

It's like it's like he's finally a coming to his rightful place,

Taking up the rightful space,

His humility,

His own ava.

And so I see that as an act of love that's coming out.

And in particular,

The last one that I would say is all sudden in this in this in this book of the Deuteronomy and to Varema now in our partial the Ed Hanan,

You suddenly get a whole new language that we've never witnessed in any of the other four books of the Torah,

The Hebrew Bible.

And that is you get the language of love,

Of actual love,

Saying that God loves Israel,

That God is loving and choosing the children of Israel and that it's because of God's love for their ancestors,

For Avraham,

Yitzchak and Yaakov and their spouses and families,

And that that he had promised to take their ancestors out of the lands of Egypt and bring them to this promised land.

And so this is the first time when you're having an emotional dimension,

If you want to call this type of love,

Having an emotional component.

And what you're noticing is that we shift from a very experiential education and in Shemot and all the other books where our ancestors in the desert and Bami Bar are learning their faith and relationship through God,

Through experience with God over and over again.

And now we've shifted into words,

Speeches by Moshe to that which we're going to listen to and learn.

And that's a huge shift.

It's a shift away from experiential education of knowing God through experience.

And now it's going to be from learning certain laws,

Learning certain ways of being and perpetuating what your ancestors had done,

Hopefully the good ones,

Right.

And so that is,

You really see this shift here happening in this in this language.

And we're going to want to keep that in mind with our practice.

And give me one second,

Why I close my door that just opened from a cat.

Thank you for your patience.

You never know what's going to happen in the office space here,

Right.

So we're going to move into our guided meditation now.

And it is going to be around a meta loving kindness tested a practice that we're going to try to take from our what we've learned from our ancestors that our love needs to be balanced.

It needs to be one that is not having the near and far enemy of attachment and conditional love or ill will turning into control and anger and hatred to a balanced one where we can offer real love and well wishes.

And so if you're new to this practice,

You'll just be with me as I guide you through this.

For those of you who've had experience in this type of meta mindfulness meditation,

Then you'll go along for a ride.

So you'll want to come to a comfortable,

Upright position one at ease,

But your posture,

Strong and uprights and not West Point stiff as the john kappasins likes to remind us,

But one in which you feel and internalize your proper space,

Your proper humility and anava that you were created in the image and likeness of the divine.

And if you have vision,

I encourage you to close your eyes or lower your gaze and take three deep cleansing breaths.

Inhalation and exhalation inhalation coming to stillness and exhalation letting go of any tension,

Lowering your hands in your lap or maybe holding them on your heart inhalation arriving and exhalation again letting go of any tension.

Beginning with a short body scan from your toes up slowly through your feet and your ankles through your legs,

Noticing what is here for you if there's any strong sensations in the body that are coming,

Calling for your own love calling for your own compassion,

That you can be present with it that you can attend and befriend and allow yourself to move continue up through your sit bones and your low back to your upper back.

Seeing what is here for you.

Notice if there are any strong emotions that might be in the sensations in the body.

And then moving up into your shoulders and neck and through your head,

Bringing yourself a kindness.

Loving attention,

One that is full of curiosity,

Developing that inner witness that distance to see what's going on for you.

And now noticing your thoughts.

Are you here with my voice with your breath as your anchor?

Are you ruminating about something in the past or planning for something in the future?

Taking this minute to give yourself a check in what is here for you right here and right now.

In the cara nia meta Suta that's come down from us on loving kindness.

The practice is to include everyone and our well wishes and our act of love.

So we're wishing and gladness and safety that may all beings be at ease.

And we practice this with ourselves first we move from guiding love,

Words ourselves and then moving out to someone that we love to someone more neutral or even a benefactor to someone who's actually difficult.

And then to all beings all species on this earth.

And for some people starting with the self is too difficult.

It says if we haven't learned to love ourselves in a kind and compassionate way.

So if you have to you can imagine first someone that is easy for you to love someone where you feel gratitude.

And then you can include yourself visualizing both together.

And the more genuine self appreciation and self love you feel,

The more you can share that same feeling of goodness with everyone else in your life.

We're attempting to practice first with self love,

A true goodness,

Recognizing all the gifts that God and life has given you the experience of joy of sharing these gifts with others.

Now for some of us,

We may experience resistance,

And maybe even difficulty and directing kind thoughts towards yourself.

Once you start having a practice of rooting for well being and joy,

There can be that near enemy arise what we in the moose our tradition might say the Yeats or ha that kind of evil inclination that we can meet with the eights or hot tools,

The good inclination,

And I until a good eye towards ourselves giving the benefit of the doubt.

So every moment you are steering yourself towards to feel a bit better.

Every action you take even unskillful ones,

It's always about returning.

So we're really accessing,

Accessing and empowering this pure divine force that wishes us well being.

And so we move through these traditional meta loving kindness phrases.

And as you sit,

You can quietly say them to yourself.

May I be safe from inner and outer arm?

May I be centered and content?

May I be healthy and strong to whatever extent possible?

May I live with ease of well being?

Bring to mind the image of yourself feeling safe,

Full of integrity and content.

Feeling healthy and strong and being at ease.

Shower yourself with these words like a blessing.

I will continue with some more phrases.

You gently and quietly repeat them to yourself.

May I love and accept myself just as I am?

May I be kind to myself?

May I see the goodness inside me?

You can practice any variants of these phrases that convey in your own words what resonates for you.

From time to time,

Negative thoughts or emotions will arise.

And the practice is just to note them,

To almost befriend them,

To welcome them.

Like the poet Rumi teaches us in his lovely poem about welcoming all visitors.

We just turn a kind,

Curious attitude towards whatever unpleasant thoughts or sensation or feeling arises.

And now we begin to turn these phrases to someone that we love.

May you be safe from inner and outer harm?

May you be centered and content?

May you be healthy and strong to whatever extent possible?

May you live with ease of well-being?

May you love and accept yourself just as you are?

May you be kind to yourself?

May you see the goodness inside you?

And finally,

We extend our practice of loving kindness,

Of chesed and metta to all beings.

May you be safe from inner and outer harm?

May you be centered and content?

May you be healthy and strong to whatever extent possible?

May you live with ease of well-being?

May you love and accept yourself just as you are?

May you be kind to yourself?

May you see the goodness inside you?

We hold Moshe Rabbeinu,

Moses,

Our teacher,

Our grandfather,

In our hearts right now as if he were a child,

That we could hold and reassure that he's going to be okay.

If you pay very close attention in our Torah portion,

He begs God,

He pleads,

He says,

Please let me cross over the Arden,

The Jordan River,

And see the good land.

And of course,

God does not allow him to cross over,

But God lets him see the land.

And so we hold with kind attention that little child who is fearful,

It's hurting,

It's confused,

Both for him and ourselves,

Practicing,

Sending good wishes and blessings.

You can practice this practice this week,

Even outside of formal meditation practice by consciously generating thoughts of goodwill to everyone you meet,

Who you pass on the streets,

At work,

In the store.

It's putting a bit of kindness into the world that is so needed.

And then this moment of our meditation,

See what is here for you right here and right now.

And if you're having any residual difficulty where you're feeling stuck,

Just honor it.

No need to try to fix it or change it or even identify with it.

Knowing that this too shall pass.

And when you are ready,

You can gently and slowly open your eyes if they were closed.

Meeting us back in this shared zoom room online space together.

Thank you for your practice.

Thank you for supporting the Institute for holding this allowing us to offer this free offering.

And we want to thank you for your donations that you give in response to this offering every week.

And we welcome sponsorships,

Of course,

In memory or an honor if anyone.

And so we now open in the last five minutes here together.

If you have any comments,

Questions,

Or anything that you would like to share about even your own practice today,

You're welcome to unmute if you would like to speak.

Or you can just pass today.

It's up to you.

Posh today.

Thank you.

It's good to see you grateful that you're here.

All right,

So we will meet with Rata sham God willing next week at the same time.

And for those of you who am and don't know the next partial that's coming next is called a cave.

And it's right after the F.

Hanan the way it runs in the Torah.

It's the third tour portion in Deuteronomy and Dovari.

So I encourage you to read it,

Study it.

And if you do happen to listen to the Torah reading on Shabbat morning,

Either in a synagogue or a minion or a community,

Please do so and we'll meet on Sunday to delve in to see what we can learn from moose our mindfulness together and our practice.

And I wish you a good week of practice.

And I look forward to seeing you.

Thank you.

Take care.