Welcome,
Welcome to this meditation that helps you to cope with a loved one's alcoholism or addiction There's nothing quite as painful as loving someone with all of your heart but not being able to save them.
Watching a loved one lose themselves,
Lose their light and their joy to addiction or alcoholism may be one of the most painful things to experience.
And more often than not,
There's no recognition,
Support or space given to those that love an alcoholic or an addict.
So this audio healing journey is the space and support you deserve.
A safe place for you to recharge your battery and replenish your soul.
This is a meditation to make sure you are taking care of you.
Because another person's alcoholism or addiction will constantly try to pull you under.
The dis-ease they are struggling with will constantly try to take you down with them.
And it's exhausting to always be trying to keep your head above water.
To keep trying to love that person even if they use you like an emotional punching bag.
You keep trying even though their addiction is destroying you.
You keep trying to love them despite of them.
You keep trying to love them despite what they say and what they do.
You keep trying to love them even though they make it so impossibly hard.
You try to save them but it never gets you anywhere.
So perhaps it's time for you to wake up.
Perhaps it's time for you to wake up to the reality of what is.
Instead of trying to fix them,
Change them,
Heal them or save them.
Maybe now is the moment you make the decision to surrender completely to what is.
Maybe it's time to let go.
I don't mean physically.
I'm not asking you to leave or abandon the one you love.
I'm asking you to stop abandoning yourself by letting go of trying to save them or change them.
I'm asking you to stop carrying them and their pain with you wherever you go.
Because it's dark and it stains everything else in your life.
You need to understand that a sad part of reality is that not everyone is going to heal in their lifetime.
I know that's a difficult thing to hear,
But it's the truth.
And the sooner you make peace with that truth,
The sooner you can start living the life you deserve.
Sometimes we need to hear and accept the truth so we can start to heal and live a better life.
So I'm asking you to try and accept what is,
Even if it is unfair and unacceptable.
I'm asking you to no longer take on the pain of their journey as if it was your own.
It's their journey.
It's not yours.
Do you feel guilt and shame at the thought of prioritizing yourself?
Does the idea of focusing less on them and more on you and your needs feel wrong and selfish to you?
Because if it does,
It's time for you to let those beliefs go.
It's time to change your whole way of thinking.
Why aren't you feeling guilt and shame for abandoning and neglecting yourself?
You need you more than anyone else does.
You need to save yourself.
You need to heal yourself.
You need to protect yourself.
You need to support yourself.
You need to love yourself first.
That's the choice I'm asking you to make.
To let go of them so you can hold on to you.
Surrender so you can start giving yourself everything you need and deserve.
In all the different 12-step fellowships,
They have the same prayer that is said at the end of each meeting.
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Which means,
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
The courage to change the one I can,
And the wisdom to know that one is me.
You cannot change them.
You cannot save them.
You cannot change their mind.
But you can change.
You can save yourself.
You can change your mind.
It's time to stop trying to change them and start changing you.
Change your reactions,
Feelings,
And behaviours towards them and their disease.
Choose to let them walk their own personal life journey so you can walk yours.
Choose to accept that they're going another way,
Walking a different road to you.
And that they might be going in a completely different direction.
Choose to accept that you cannot force them to follow you.
For many people,
Too much has happened in their lives and the pain just went too deep.
And if you think that's your fault,
Another reason to feel the guilt and the shame,
You are wrong.
Stop blaming yourself.
Stop punishing yourself.
Stop with the guilt and shame now.
Life is too short and too precious.
You have the right to make mistakes and get it wrong just as your loved one does.
You have the right to change and heal just as your loved one does.
Maybe they will find their way to healing and maybe they won't,
But your freedom lies in the acceptance that both are possible.
Your freedom lies in knowing you are completely powerless over anyone else but you.
So from this moment on,
Why don't you choose to stop feeling guilty about your loved one being lost.
It's not your fault.
And it's not compulsory for you to join them in the darkness.
It doesn't matter whether they're your parent,
Your child,
Your sibling or your partner,
You are not obligated to join them in the darkness of their dis-ease.
It's time to let go.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
And you don't have to contribute to it.
Remember the four C's and recite them over and over in your head like a mantra.
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I don't have to contribute to it.
I didn't cause it.
I can't control it.
I can't cure it.
I don't have to contribute to it.
When they blame you for their pain,
Remember that it's impossible to be responsible for anyone else's emotions.
And you feeling guilt and shame is only contributing to the power of their disease.
It's so vital that you understand that you're not the cause for your loved one falling victim to the disease of addiction or alcoholism.
They might tell you that it's your fault,
But that's not the truth.
Now is the time to take back your power.
Now is the time to admit you are powerless over anyone else but yourself.
Now is the time to change you.
So if you're willing,
And I really hope that you are,
I'd like you to place your hands on your heart and repeat after me.
From this moment onwards,
I choose to surrender.
I choose to lay down my arms.
To stop fighting the impossible fight.
So that I may know peace.
So that I may know happiness again.
I choose to accept the person I love exactly the way they are.
Without attachment to fixing them or changing them or saving them.
I choose to accept they are on their own path.
And it's time for me to get back to my path.
Even if it's not going in the same direction.
It's time for me to choose myself.
It's time for me to love myself enough.
To see the pain and struggle I'm causing my heart,
My mind and my soul.
It's time to let go of the guilt and the shame.
So that I may heal.
So that I may have the chance to live a beautiful life.
In honour of the one I've lost to the disease of addiction.
In honour of the one I love,
I will start living differently.
I will start living greatly.
I will start living in honour of me.
I will forgive myself of anything I think I ever did.
And I will move on.
I now set myself free.
I now set myself free.
I now set myself free.
And just breathe into that.
Be with those powerful words resonating throughout your body.
The energy of those words transmuting your pain into gold.
It's time to give yourself the chance of living a joyful life.
No longer trying to save them or trying to change the situation.
Just acceptance of what is.
No longer wishing that they will get better.
No longer wishing that they will see and suddenly love you the way you long for them to love you.
It's time for you to love yourself the way you wish they would love you.
I'm going to give you some time with yourself now.
To be with all the emotions that might be coming up for you.
Please allow them all to be there.
They are emotions that need to be felt and expressed in order to be healed.
So just be with yourself and your emotions.
Allow them to rise so you can truly start to heal.
The universe wants you to learn and grow and evolve.
And sometimes that's going to be painful.
You can't fight it,
You can't resist it and you can't change it.
So find beauty and peace in the deep and profound acceptance of what is.
Find peace in the surrender and letting go.
Let the universe take care of the person you love that is struggling.
So that you can take care of yourself and savour the experience of your own life journey.
We've come to the end of our journey together now.
So please return to the space you are in.
Return to reality slightly changed.
Alleviated from the guilt and shame that was never yours to carry.
Alleviated from the weight of carrying someone else's life on your shoulders.
You deserve joy.
You deserve peace.
You didn't cause it.
You can't control it.
You can't cure it.
It's time to let go and start living again.
