3 Ways To Process Emotions So They Don't Get Stuck! #217

Welcome to the Soul-Infused Monday Show,

Your show for a meaningful and inspired week.

Today's episode is number 217 and it's called Three Ways to Process Emotions so they don't get stuck.

I talk about emotions a lot.

There have been a lot of Soul-Infused Monday Shows where I share how to deal with anxiety or how to deal with intense emotions.

And today I want to focus more on the how to process it and give you three ways.

And some of it will be also repetition that I think is super important,

Especially when it comes to emotions,

Being triggered and storing unresolved stuff in our system.

From an energetical perspective,

You obviously don't want to have things stuck in your system because they can create disease,

They can create emotional imbalance and stress,

It can create depression,

It can create conflict in relationship and in communication.

There are so many reasons why you do not want to have stuck energy and unresolved emotions stuck in your system.

I also want to give a disclaimer that I often do.

I can only scratch the surface and in order to resolve some of the deeper inner triggers and the woundings from the past and stuck energy,

You want to do the deep inner work.

You want to work with someone,

You want to do the deeper work,

You can do that with whoever you already work with,

You can join my monthly group healing classes,

If you're not working with me privately one on one.

There are so many ways,

Maybe you have a different coach or a therapist or a support group.

This does not substitute the deeper inner work that you might have to do in order to heal some of the previous or older woundings and patterns in your life.

I was thinking about which ways am I going to share with you because there are many different ways.

Before I start sharing mine,

I want you to take a moment because if you've been following me for a while,

I always like to include you,

For you to participate,

For you to do the work while I teach so that you don't only listen.

Every listening is beautiful and it will shift your energy,

It might make you feel better.

However,

Only listening is not going to do the same as if you engage internally,

Participate and apply it right while you're listening to.

Take a moment to take a deep breath and ask yourself the question for a moment,

How do you process emotions?

What are your ways to process emotions?

Take a moment to tune in,

Take a moment to reflect,

Maybe take a moment when was the last time you actually felt like there was an intense emotion.

Maybe you are not even aware sometimes that there is an emotion that you get to process.

Think about it for a moment.

How do you process emotions?

You can journal around it,

You can take a note about it,

You can leave me a comment and share with me how you process emotions so that you are already in integration or in exploration of how to actually process them.

Before you want to process an emotion,

You do need to know that there is something to process.

That sounds like,

Duh,

Of course,

But I am surprised how many people are not even aware of their own emotions.

In order for you to process emotions,

You want to be aware of it and that comes also with intentionality.

And the first way that I am going to share with you goes along with it.

So the first thing I want to share with you today is about identifying the emotion.

The first way is to identify the emotion.

And what I mean by that is,

For example,

We are often very vague or we generalize something.

And when we are vague or generalizing emotions,

It is more difficult to process them because you are not clear on what it actually costs or what the underlying issue is.

So by identifying the emotion,

It will be easier to process them.

I gave you an example and you might have said that yourself or I am sure you have heard people say that when you ask someone,

How do you feel or how are you?

Often the answer is,

Oh,

I am so stressed out.

So much stress in my life.

Oh,

It is so stressful.

Raise your hand if you have said that before or if you heard someone say that.

Raise your hand literally here.

I can feel it.

Now stressful or stressed is not one emotion,

It is a state of being.

And for me,

Everything is energy.

It is an energetic phenomenon.

So do not stop there because that is not something you can clearly process because it is too vague.

It could be anything.

What does that actually mean,

Being stressed out?

What do you really feel underneath?

What is the emotion?

So you want to identify,

You want to identify the emotion.

First you might start with saying I am stressed out.

Okay,

But how do I feel?

What is the feeling that is occurring?

Like for example,

For me when I was coming into the show and I could not connect or I thought I could not connect and I was so upset and there is noise outside and I was upset.

Sometimes I felt like yeah,

I am angry and I would dig deeper and then you can also ask why am I angry?

How do I feel underneath?

I am anxious.

I am anxious that it does not work out.

I am anxious maybe to disappoint my people.

It could be anything,

Right?

So this is just an example.

I am not taking the time too much to do this for me but I will give you an example.

Stressed out.

How do you feel underneath?

Maybe you are sad.

Maybe you feel lonely.

Maybe you have a feeling of disconnection,

Overwhelmed.

Be more specific.

Maybe you are angry.

However,

Anger is not an emotion that is easy for you to process so we sometimes cover it by being stressed out or depression is a good example.

Depressed itself.

It is not just one feeling.

It is a generalization of a state of being and then it is more difficult to process.

What is underneath the word depressed?

Are you feeling lonely,

Upset,

Disconnected?

Again,

It can be any other emotion but the first way I wanted to share with you today in order to process emotions so that they don't get stuck or get caught up or unresolved is to identify what you are actually feeling and check deeper what is underneath that first layer.

Stressed out,

Too vague.

Depressed,

I would say too vague.

Annoyed.

Annoyed even.

Annoyed can sometimes be a cover up of a deeper emotion and then ask yourself questions.

What am I experiencing?

Why am I feeling this and when did it start?

The best way to really process emotions is to get to the root of it and sometimes you feel the emotion intensified later.

Maybe the first trigger was three days before and you didn't realize in that moment or you justified it.

It's not a big deal.

Maybe you got upset about something but you just say,

Oh,

Don't make a big fuss out of it.

Let's just brush it out and it accumulates and accumulates and at some point it comes out in a very intensified way.

Then look back,

Track it back.

What happened before and what happened before that and when did it really start?

That's one way.

Again,

It doesn't substitute maybe getting help and doing the deeper work if that alone doesn't resolve it for you.

If you have any questions,

Please put them here into the comment section and if you're listening to this on Insight Timer or Spotify and you cannot leave a comment right now,

Leave me a review,

Share with me,

Ask your questions.

I will get back to you.

Number one was identifying your emotions and to name them more specifically.

Then once you've done that,

Let's say you are in the position,

You feel something,

You really want to process it,

You don't want to get it stuck.

The second way of doing that is by acknowledging the emotion without judgment and to hold space for it by being with it.

That sounds way easier said than done.

One of the most powerful and most healing and transformational ways to do that and it's also one of the most difficult because it's a real skill that you develop over time.

Sometimes it's also difficult to do this for yourself.

Sometimes it's easier to do that with others,

But you do want to be able to hold space and be with yourself and your emotion in order to process them so that they don't get stuck.

Super important,

Don't judge your emotions.

Don't judge,

Don't label them as good or bad.

I was in a women's circle last week here in Medellin because I don't know anyone and I thought that would be a really nice way to connect to people and it was.

It was a really lovely group of women and they were also talking amongst other things on how to process emotions and everybody was sharing.

I noticed and I was reminded of myself as well and some of my clients that judge themselves strongly when it comes to emotions.

How much judgment there was in the group around having certain emotions and how the go to sometimes to pretend it's not there or the spiritual way.

It's like our anger is not good and or even saying that that's not a real emotion.

It's just a cover up emotion.

So there was just a lot of judgment around emotions and a lot of labeling about this is a good emotion and this is a bad emotion.

Processing your emotion through acknowledgement and to hold space for it means there is no judgment.

You honor and you acknowledge how you feel without judgment.

It's a moment in time.

It's one experience.

It does not mean that that's who you are.

However you are a human being and you have a wide range of emotions.

Like there's a wide range of emotions and often they are trained and it's not only black white that so many kids obey and anger is not bad and love is good in comparison.

Anger can be very healthy as a protection mechanism or if dealt constructively and love can be actually also hurtful or painful when overly done.

So don't label it.

Don't judge it.

See it as an energy and as an experience and whatever you feel in that moment first you want to acknowledge it.

So take a deep breath on that.

So whatever you are experiencing right now and however you are doing it.

And I know that holding space is not a simple skill and it is learned over time but one thing that you can do is to use your breath and to imagine that you are present with it and you are simply being with it.

Now here comes the tricky part.

Usually because of judgment and discomfort we want to get rid of that emotion.

If you want to hold space in order to get rid of it you are not holding space.

You are still trying to get rid of it and often that doesn't work because resistance is a strong energy.

So and there is this term we say what you resist persists really being without judgment and holding space means also it's okay that I feel this way.

I accept that I feel this way right now.

It might change it might not but in this present moment my intention is not to get rid of it.

My intention is to hold space so that it can actually move by itself because energy is constantly in movement.

You don't really have to try to get rid of it because there is no need for it because when you allow yourself to be in acceptance with what you feel it shifts automatically.

Like it just shifts because nothing is really constant unless we resist it and we keep it locked in.

So I want to take a moment and I'm going to share obviously a third way and that's also a more practical way but what's landing for you so far?

What is resonating with you and do you have a question?

Take a moment think about the things that I shared.

What is resonating with you?

What is landing for you?

What is something that you can apply already today or maybe right now and share it here in the comment section or send me a message.

Why I encourage you to share and to participate and engage is because everything is energy.

When you do something with it you integrate it,

You anchor it and it's often also for someone else reading it often an aha moment itself.

So take a moment and let me know what is landing for you.

What are you hearing me say that is helpful?

Maybe something that you are actually processing right now.

Engage with me,

Participate and I'm going to share with you the third way today.

The first way was identifying it.

The second way was holding space,

Being present with it,

Being with it in order for it to be able to meet and the third one is coming in just a moment.

Holding space with the emotion is a good takeaway here.

I can see that.

Thank you for sharing.

Another takeaway from Gail,

Letting go of judgments and accept how you're feeling in the moment and breathe.

Beautiful takeaway.

And another takeaway from Tina,

Acknowledge it,

Be with it.

Don't judge your emotions,

Hold space for it.

Yes these are very similar and I'm very happy to hear that because they're so,

So,

So important.

And another one here,

Do not judge at all the present,

Accept.

And then also it moves when you accept it.

Yes,

Beautiful,

Beautiful,

Beautiful,

Beautiful,

Super powerful.

Take a deep breath.

The breath is your best friend.

In order to process emotions,

That's not even the third way,

That's just an extra.

The breath is your best friend.

When you are in intense emotions,

Whatever it is,

Generally your body gets tense,

Your breath gets shallow and that's how things get stuck.

Things and emotions get stuck for several different reasons that I cannot cover here today so I keep it very on the surface.

It gets stuck because it gets capsules and there's no movement.

Breath and movement is super healthy to shift your energy and to process emotions.

To me it can be dancing,

For you it can be any type of sport,

Movement,

Even some stretching,

A few deep breaths,

A few deep breaths and moving your body.

That alone can help you to process your emotions.

Keep that in mind.

Change yourself,

Breath and movement.

I have two more comments that I want to share and then I'm going to wrap this up with a third way.

Yesterday someone advised me to journal around why I'm choosing to feel the way I was feeling.

Yeah,

If that works for you,

If that resonates,

Do that.

Personally if I know someone has the tendency to be self-judgmental,

I don't necessarily recommend to ponder on the choosing why because it's often related to judgment.

Oh,

I know I'm choosing to be this,

Why am I choosing to be this?

If you're not judgmental at all,

Then that would work.

However,

I would not necessarily ask the word choosing because often we go into the negative and self-judgmental.

A better question for me personally is what in me is feeling this way and what happened that I feel this way?

What happened that I have this emotion or what happened that I feel this way so that I can understand it first,

Have compassion and then you can take it a step further,

Say,

Okay,

I chose to feel this way because of a pattern of a trigger.

There's a reason.

I hope this makes sense.

I find it is a great advice.

The only thing I would pay attention to is this going to create judgment in you.

If it does create judgment in you,

Then choose a different question or journaling.

If it doesn't create any judgment or self-judgment,

That can be a super great way to journal around that too.

So thank you for sharing.

Love that quote from you.

Your breath is your best friend.

Thank you,

Debbie.

Your breath is your best friend.

You forget that so many times.

And your best friend is always with you.

Always.

Unconditional.

As long as you have this body that is breathing,

You have a best friend with you.

It only made me feel judged.

Yeah.

Emily,

That's what I thought.

That's why I wouldn't use it.

Not every advice is good advice.

Advice is,

In general,

Take what feels good to you,

Experiment with it,

And what does not feel supportive in that moment,

You can maybe try another time,

Which is just say no to it.

I think that was a very good point.

Thank you for bringing it up.

The third way on how to process emotions is with someone.

And I'm not necessarily mean like with a coach or mentor or therapist,

What I do with my clients or in my group healing classes every month.

What I mean is,

If you have a good friend,

And by good friend,

I mean someone that is not going to try to fix you,

Or going to try to numb or deny that you shouldn't feel this way,

Not someone that's going to judge you.

So you've got to have this person.

If you don't have this person,

Then I wouldn't do this way because that might be even worse.

But if you have a friend,

Or someone that is willing,

Open and able to listen to you,

Sharing can be an incredible way of processing emotions.

It's one of my ways.

I have many different ways and many different tools.

And one of the ways that I process intense emotions is by sharing them.

Now,

There is a way of doing that that is most supportive.

Sharing means someone is listening.

But sharing does mean I'm dumping the negativity of someone.

Sharing is when you already know what you're experiencing.

You know that you're going through something.

And it is sometimes difficult to just be with it by yourself.

And often sharing can be a way of processing your emotions.

And you can also tell your trusted friend or whoever that person is.

And you ask for permission.

You know,

Not everybody is always available.

Go to my best friend and say,

Hey,

I just need a few moments to share.

Do you have time?

Do you have space?

And then you can say,

I don't want you to really say anything much.

I wanted to just talk about it because by talking about it,

I get clarity.

And by sharing,

The emotion can also move and shift.

Way more to say to this,

To all of these ways.

If you struggle with intense emotions or rules or patterns,

And it's something that you are challenged with,

And you have a hard time doing this by yourself,

Get help.

Get help.

And one of the ways that I can help you is through our monthly group calls where we do incredible powerful healing work.

And by the end of the call,

There is always so much relief and more calmness and connection.

So it's a really beautiful way to heal in a group setting.

So if you're interested in that,

Please send me a message.

We have a few spots left for our March group call next month.

Let me recap.

The first way I shared was being more clear on the emotion by identifying it.

Take a breath on that.

The second one,

Acknowledging it,

Being with it without judgment,

But giving it space.

And the third is sharing.

Sharing so it can move.

All of these ways will help you to process emotions without them getting stuck.

So thank you for being here today.

And before you leave,

Give me 60 more seconds.

Take a breath and tune in.

Feel it in your body.

Feel it in your heart.

Feel it in your mind.

What is the most valuable thing you got out of this call today?

Take a moment.

Really dig deep.

What is the most valuable thing you got out of this call today?

And write it down.

Write it down for you in your notebook.

And if you have the opportunity or the willingness to share with me,

Leave a comment below.

Leave it at the end of the call as a review.

It means the world to me.

When I read your comments,

I always love reading the reviews in the end or comments.

Even after the live show,

It is wonderful for me to read and it's a wonderful way for you also to maybe process something today.

So I'm going to take a few more last moments to go over your comments.

And then I'm going to let you practice this throughout the week.

And I recommend you to consciously practice this.

Set the intention to practice it.

Because otherwise it's gone and we forget about it.

Everything is a skill.

Everything is a skill.

And you can learn to process emotions in a good way so that they don't stay stuck.

Because you have already so much old stuff that is already stuck that we get to do the work.

So why don't not add to it?

That's for example a really great intention.

So while you do the deeper inner work to clear what's not longer serving you,

You can in addition make a very clear intention and decision to not add to the pile of stuck stuff.

So take a moment.

What's your biggest takeaway?

And leave a comment below or send me a message or leave a review.

Look underneath the emotion to be even more specific.

This is a very great takeaway.

Very great takeaway.

Your breath is your friend.

Yes,

That's such a beautiful takeaway.

I should create t-shirts.

Your breath is your best friend.

Does anyone want to create t-shirts for me?

Your breath is your friend.

And that is such a good takeaway.

Emily is saying not all advice is good but yours is.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

But that's a good takeaway.

Another biggest takeaway or most valuable today.

Instead of trying to get rid of or ignore the emotion,

To acknowledge instead and holding space.

Also breathing and moving.

It's hard to be frustrated or sad if you're dancing.

And you can use the dance to express that frustration and sadness.

Beautiful takeaway.

Thank you for sharing.

Another takeaway.

To look deeper at why or what is under the initial emotion.

Today the emotion was really a projection on someone else to take away with disgust with me.

Beautiful.

Yes.

What a great insight.

Once you realize that and once you know it,

You can really do something about it.

What you can see,

You can heal or shift.

If you don't see it,

You cannot do anything about it.

Thank you so much for being here today.

Have an incredible,

Wonderful,

Inspired,

Meaningful week.

Acknowledge your emotions.

Love yourself.

Be kind to yourself.

Drop the self-judgment.

I know it's not easy sometimes.

I get to do this myself.

It is sometimes a challenging journey and that's okay.

You're not alone.

You have your tools.

You have your best friend in your pocket,

In your lungs,

In your heart,

In your soul.

Keep meditating.

Keep breathing.

Keep dancing.

Keep coming back on the Soul Infuse Monday show.

So keep coming back next Monday 12 p.

M.

Eastern Time.

And if you want to join one of our wonderful group healing inner circle calls,

Reach out to me.

Much love.