35. Live With Audacity: How To Tap Into Your Potential

Ask yourself this question,

When was the last time that you overstepped?

And again,

It doesn't mean that you succeeded by overstepping,

But it does mean that you were pushing,

It does mean that you were living with audacity.

And if you are constantly living with audacity,

Constantly pushing yourself,

Constantly overstepping,

You will find the ability to expand your borders and you will begin to really manifest your great potential.

The big problem is that voice in our heads that says,

You know,

Be happy with what you have,

It's better than where you came from.

You know,

I think we often think,

You know,

I am who I am and I can either reveal it or not reveal it,

I can do it or not do it.

But the reality is that we become what we do.

Know that without connecting consistently to your source,

The place we came from,

The place we end up at back again,

As long as you're connected to that,

Then you really can't take anything too seriously.

Not the negative,

Not the positive.

Instead,

You're just being a channel that constantly looks for ways to expand.

Welcome to Spiritually Hungry Podcast episode 35.

I don't think so.

I think it's 36,

Right?

I could be wrong.

Let me check on my Apple podcast.

Let me see.

Spiritually Hungry.

Last episode released today was number three.

You were right.

Oh,

Not the first time either.

Yeah,

We can keep that in for everybody who's editing this.

Let's start all over again.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry Podcast episode 35.

Yay.

I knew it was 35.

Last week,

We touched upon how little we know and how little understanding we have of the world around us and of ourselves.

This week,

We're really going to dive deep into the lack of understanding we have of ourselves as it relates to our perceived competence and abilities,

Which I'm really excited about.

I like this topic.

One line is,

Nobody has the ability to examine oneself with perfect objectivity.

I know I hate that word,

But we're going to use it a lot today.

With any objectivity,

Perfect objectivity.

Some do a better job than others,

Perhaps you.

There's something called,

Which we've spoken about,

And I don't think you've ever experienced this firsthand.

Not yet.

There's something called imposter syndrome and Dunning-Kruger effect.

Maybe it's just Dunning-Kruger.

They exist at the far end of the same spectrum.

They're both a grossly flawed self-assessment of one's abilities.

The imposter syndrome is not about having low self-esteem or lack or self-worth.

What it is about is the feeling that your achievements don't matter.

Explain that.

Your achievements don't matter.

You've written a book?

Right.

Basically,

You only scraped by in life because you got lucky or you wrote the book by chance.

And therefore,

It doesn't matter because you didn't really earn it.

You didn't earn it.

You're basically a fraud in what you've done,

In your work,

What you do.

And it's this feeling all the time like you're a fraud and you're going to be found out.

So therefore,

You feel insecurity about your work and your accomplishments because you don't feel that you actually earned them.

Now that one is actually something I have felt before.

And as I was preparing for today,

It gave myself some credit because I am halfway past getting over this.

But I was really surprised by like,

There's certain characteristics which I'll go into that I absolutely do have and then I have exhibited in my work and in my life.

So yeah.

So I'm wondering,

Obviously,

It doesn't allow one to enjoy their accomplishments,

Right?

Correct.

Like I've heard me say before,

I never celebrate after I've done something,

It's on to the next thing.

So I thought that was something wrong with,

Yeah,

That I didn't take time to appreciate which is part of it.

But it's really like it goes hand in hand with this kind of belief system.

And it probably hinders one's ability to further accomplish.

Correct.

Because everything you do,

Then it's like,

Hey,

I did that.

That really wasn't mine.

So you then go on this vicious cycle of searching for the next thing.

And then you feel like a fraud all over again.

And then you're like,

Oh my God,

I maybe found out at any time.

It's tiring.

It is.

And it was first described by psychologist Susan Imus in 1970.

It's the imposter phenomenon.

But this made me feel a little better.

It occurs among high achievers who are unable to internalize or accept their success.

So the characteristics are a habitual thought pattern.

It affects both men and women.

Seems to be slightly more prevalent in women.

It's more common among minorities and it can fuel a sense of being a fraud.

Now I do want to go into oh,

And there's one other thing.

So there's three defining features of this imposterism.

The first is feeling that other people have an inflated perception of your abilities,

Which then creates a lot of pressure internally to succeed.

I have felt that.

Second is a fear that your true abilities will be found out,

Which you don't think are great.

And third,

A persistent tendency to attribute success to external factors such as luck or disproportionate effort.

One of these things that you spend a lot,

A lot of extra time over preparing.

I've done that too.

So as I was reading it,

I kind of almost fell off my chair.

And then ironically,

Of course,

These feelings then of fraud inspire greater effort and thus leading to more success and promotion,

Thereby triggering another round of the imposter feeling.

So I just want to quickly go into what the Dunning-Kruger is.

I thought this was so interesting and quite honestly,

A little bit comical.

It's an effect is a hypothetical cognitive bias stating that people with low ability at a task overestimate their ability.

All people or some people?

All that have this.

So it's the opposite side of imposter syndrome.

So this was described by psychologists,

David Dunning and Justin Kruger.

But this I just want to give you the story because I thought this was really funny.

It reminds you of a story.

Tell me after because this is one day in 1995,

A large,

Heavy middle aged man robbed two Pittsburgh banks in broad daylight.

Sadly,

This is a true story.

He didn't wear a mask or any sort of disguise and he smiled at surveillance cameras before walking out of each bank.

Later that night,

Police arrested a surprised MacArthur Wheeler.

When they showed him the surveillance tapes,

Wheeler stared in disbelief.

So as I read this,

I'm thinking like,

What could he have been thinking?

Maybe he wasn't there.

But I wore the juice,

He mumbled.

Apparently Wheeler thought that rubbing lemon juice on his skin would render him invisible to videotape cameras.

I knew you would think this.

I was actually laughing,

Thinking about what your response would be as I read this.

I wore the juice.

After all,

Lemon juice is used as invisible ink.

So as long as he didn't come near a heat source,

He should have been completely invisible.

What was his high hue?

It can't be that high.

That's the point,

Right?

Police concluded Wheeler was not crazy or on drugs.

Just incredibly,

They said,

Mistake but stupid,

Right?

What was the word that you used?

Mistaken.

You are incredibly mistaken about your level of your intelligence.

So the saga caught the eye of psychologist David Dunning at Cornell University who enlisted his graduate student.

I love that moment.

I can just imagine.

I used the juice.

I wore the juice.

So it caught the eye of the psychologists.

And they then did a lot of research behind this.

So they reasoned that while almost everyone holds favorable views of their abilities in various social intellectual domains- Everybody?

Variable,

Right?

Varied degrees.

Some people mistakenly assess their abilities as being much higher than they actually are.

The solution of confidence is now called Dunning-Kruger effect.

It describes the cognitive bias of self-assessment.

So yeah,

I thought that was fascinating.

The other thing they found out that I want to hear your story,

And I thought this was really interesting too,

They also study people's self-assessment in the moral domain.

They unearth what they call holier than thou syndrome.

And that is- This is scientific.

This is scientific and this is part of their study that these are people who overrated the likelihood that they would act in a generous and selfless way.

So it's another kind of syndrome,

But it's like they think,

Of course,

If they had to give,

They would give X amount.

Or if they had to help a person in this scenario,

Mostly people tend to think they would do more and give more than they actually do.

But that's kind of like often- Most people or some people?

Well,

This was,

They took graduate students at Harvard University and they found these undergraduates.

So it was a group that they did.

And then they took,

They did this.

And in a study,

84% of the students initially predicted they would cooperate with their partners and other thing in that effect,

But only 61% did.

So the point is in all these studies,

People came much lower than they actually thought.

Interesting.

But what was your funny story?

Having to do with this effect?

Well,

No,

Just if you remember many,

Many years ago when one of our children was about six or seven years old- He was eight,

Nine.

He was eight and nine.

I shouldn't have said the sex.

Okay.

One of them.

And he was taking gymnastics.

And one day,

I don't know if we were,

I don't know,

For whatever reason,

There was like a final,

It was the last day and there was like doing final trials.

Well,

They were supposed to go through everything,

Like the bar,

The balance beam,

The trampoline.

And then it was for trophies and such.

And he had no- And he loves a good award by the way.

And it was just for the trophy.

But he had no idea what he was doing.

It was like,

It was comical how he literally- But he literally- He went through it very poorly.

Donner Krueger.

He really believed in his ability.

And you could see on his face,

He's like sweating,

Whatever,

But with such,

There was no way he wasn't going to do it.

And I'm like,

Oh my God,

Please don't get hurt.

We were sweating watching that.

Yes.

Yes,

It's true.

So,

And then I want to,

I'll go into some other things about that,

But what are your thoughts?

No.

So,

Right.

So these show different ways by which we view ourselves in a distorted lens.

And I think,

Again,

I'm not sure what the science on this is,

But what I have seen is that often we underestimate certainly our potential and what we can do.

And I think it's important to know that there actually is a force,

And this is where the spiritual understanding comes in,

That there is a force that is with us from the moment we're born,

That its job is to diminish ourselves in our own eyes.

And this force of a name?

It has many different names,

Right?

But it's within us.

Again,

Sometimes,

You know,

In the ancient texts referred to as the negative inclination,

But the understanding is that this is probably everything for,

I'm saying for you and for me and for every one of our listeners,

Probably the greatest reason why any of us is not living fully to our potential of what we are meant and can do is because we have bought in to this voice.

And that's,

I think it's important,

That's a given.

Even as I sit here now,

You know,

I'd like to think that I do important things and to get things accomplished.

At the end of the day,

There's still,

I have bought in.

It's been 47 years with that voice in my head and yes,

I battle it and maybe we'll talk about how we do that.

But every single one of our listeners has had this voice from the moment we were born.

And I think about it because.

.

.

But what's the purpose,

Number one?

And number two,

There's certain times if that's true,

That we were better at ignoring it.

A two year old's not really listening to that voice.

Well,

That's the point.

So I was going to say,

Think about it.

We know children,

Right?

I mean,

Even we have conversations,

Even with our,

You know,

Teenagers and certainly younger,

They really believe that the world is their canvas and that they can,

They just decide they want to be an actor.

They want to be an astronaut.

They want to be a doctor.

It's theirs,

Right?

We know for a fact a baby when it's born,

He or she can learn any language,

Right?

A baby from the age of zero is spoken to in Chinese.

They will speak Chinese.

A child who's spoken to in English will speak English.

I mean.

.

.

You throw them in water,

They're going to swim.

Well,

Early on.

No,

You do it right away.

They're in water.

Not that we are recommending any of our listeners to throw their babies in water.

But yes,

Yes.

I remember this is maybe this is an impolite story to share,

But I remember.

.

.

Who is it about?

It's about us.

It's about me.

It's about us.

Before our youngest child was born and you had decided you were going to do hypnobirthing,

Right?

So unfortunately,

You made us watch a few videos,

If you remember.

Of course I remember.

I'm so happy we did that.

It was very,

Very powerful.

And by the way,

Part of the reason and I didn't listen to that negative voice.

I absolutely what I saw is what I created.

Right,

Right.

But my point is in some of those.

.

.

I guess it was scary for you because you weren't going to physically be doing that yourself.

But that sort of babies born into water,

Right?

Like you said,

Swim.

So the point is clearly a baby.

.

.

I'm just thinking about your reaction to when you were watching the videos.

I didn't know if you want to admit that publicly.

Yes.

You were like,

What?

Okay,

Go ahead.

Babies.

Yes.

So clearly,

Babies' children are in a different place of accepting their potential than we are.

And literally what happens and that's why,

Yes,

Babies and then there's that voice,

Conscious unconscious,

Also society,

Begins diminishing our belief,

Understanding of our own potential.

But what's the purpose of the voice?

Well,

One of them is to make sure that we earn.

There is,

And this is writ large in human history and this is true for every one of our personal lives,

There is a battle between light and darkness.

That's the reality of our world.

This is another topic,

But in our world,

We know what are called the builders of the world,

Those who are trying to make the world better and there are the destroyers of the world.

There are those who are out there in every generation you have them,

Who are trying to destroy people and the world.

So that is in basic terms,

The battle between light and darkness.

And that is true as it's true in the world,

It's true within each one of us.

So from the moment we're born,

That battle begins and that voice,

As we said,

Is in our mind that remains with us until we leave this physical world.

The purpose of this podcast,

The purpose of our lives is to fight that voice.

And I often say this,

If any one of us had even a glimpse of how powerful we actually are potentially,

We would be living completely different lives.

And really what I hope that our listeners take from this podcast is more of an awakening to understand that what you thought of yourself as a baby and as a child,

Basically that you can accomplish anything that you will choose to put your mind to.

That was true.

I think some of these people look back and say,

Oh,

I was immature.

I had pie in the sky.

That's when you saw the reality about yourself.

When you got older and you kept listening to that voice and you kept listening to that family member telling you can't amount to much and so on and so forth.

And then you went on to society and so on and that voice kept getting louder and louder.

That's what's not true.

That's the falsehood.

It almost seems unfair for people who don't have this awareness and they go through life and they don't realize that there are these rules and laws of the universe and things that they're unaware that is happening all the time.

They think they can fight against.

And they just look around and say,

Okay,

Well,

I'm just not that smart or I'm unlucky.

And they never and that's why actually that these two,

The Dunning Kruger effect and the imposter syndrome.

It's interesting to me because I think a lot of people do suffer from that and then they just stay in that state.

They never actually change it.

Right.

And you know me,

I'm all about pushing the envelope and I'm not going to just accept something doesn't feel like it's working.

I really take the time to break it apart and figure out a way to make it work.

And I remember this before my first book came out,

It was like six months before.

And I was like,

I'm a fraud.

You know,

I had this thought and like,

Is this really original?

And by the way,

It's semi-bio-biographical.

So I was even trying to talk myself into believing that this wasn't even something new and different.

And then I realized that's just not the person that I want to be and that I connected to something far greater.

And you know,

The real thing as I looked around me to two people that were really in my mind,

They never actually thought that they thought children have or teenagers have that the world is theirs.

They see something they wanted.

And naturally,

Of course,

It's going to happen.

Not only is it going to happen,

It's going to happen to the best possible outcome.

And I thought,

Wow,

I really need some of that audacity.

Right.

I'm going to try that.

Instead of creating obstacles and challenges for myself,

Because I also believe that's part of the imposter syndrome,

Not only do you over prepare and all of that,

But you also set yourself up with the mindset that it's going to be difficult.

It's going to be very hard.

And through that stress and that great extra effort,

That's how you achieve.

And then I looked at these people that were really that I respected and that were successful in the ways that they wanted to be.

And I said,

Well,

I'm just going to adapt that mentality.

Right.

I'm not going to do this.

I chose something else.

And so,

Like I said,

I'm much further along.

But it is interesting when you when you flip this concept and you connect to the other voice.

Right.

The one that is kind and that is good.

And you connect to of course,

You are meant to have all of these great things.

Then you tap into that potential of yourself.

But it just it's really a choice.

Well,

It's a choice,

But it's also and this is something that I hope our listeners will take in.

It's also an awareness of how much untapped potential we have.

For me and again,

Like I said,

I've been I would hope doing important things,

Things that help people for many,

Many years now.

But even as I sit here now,

I know that I am only beginning to maybe understand how powerful my potentially I am.

And I actually think and one of the things that I would like our listeners to do,

I believe every single one of us,

Every single day needs to remind ourselves.

I have so much powerful potential within me.

If you don't remind yourself at least every day of this,

You're not going to be able to tap in.

You could want to,

You could desire it.

But if you don't actively remind yourself,

Remind yourself,

I have so much power.

I have so much potential to reveal in this world.

And you remind yourself at least once a day,

If not a few times a day.

And it's interesting as you were saying,

Audacity,

As I was thinking about this concept and it is something that I think is fundamental to success.

It's fundamental to happiness.

There were three words that kept coming to my mind.

Audacity is one of them.

And the reality is we have to be living with audacity.

And then related to that,

There was the word to push.

Because you can know that you need to live with audacity and you can even know what we said earlier that you remind yourself of your tremendous power and potential,

But unless you're pushing for that to be revealed.

And the third thing all related is to overstep.

There's always this concept,

You shouldn't overstep.

There's your boundary.

You shouldn't overstep.

But what we're saying is,

No,

You must overstep.

Your boundary that somebody else has imposed upon you.

Or that you've put upon you.

You can only do this much.

Right.

Exactly.

And if you realize,

Again,

As the listener,

Wherever you are right now,

There's a boundary around you.

That boundary is made up of things people have told you,

Of things you've told yourself,

Things you believe about yourself.

If you asked me or you or any one of our listeners,

What is,

And if you took the time,

What is the maximum in whatever area of your life you're writing,

You're teaching or whatever you're creating a podcast,

Whatever you're doing in life,

What's the outermost limit?

Honestly,

There's a boundary around that.

Unless- I call it prison.

I call it self-imposed prison.

Yes.

Yes.

But again,

It's a prison that most of us are comfortable with.

And most of us are maybe not even aware that those boundaries were meant to be broken.

And therefore,

Out of those three words,

Live with audacity.

Like,

You know,

Be a little bit crazy.

Push,

Push,

Push and overstep.

Overstep and now what I would recommend to our listeners is really ask,

When was the last time you can honestly say you overstepped?

Now,

By the way,

You won't always be right and you won't always succeed,

But the only way towards making sure that you're going to fulfill your true potential is if you're always overstepping.

And I would,

Again,

I would ask our listeners to ask yourself this question.

When was the last time that you overstepped?

And again,

It doesn't mean that you succeeded by overstepping,

But it does mean that you were pushing.

It does mean that you were living with audacity.

And if you are constantly living with audacity,

Constantly pushing yourself,

Constantly overstepping,

You will find the ability to expand your borders,

Right?

Your prison,

If you want to call it,

Or simply your boundaries that you and those around you have set up,

And you will begin to really manifest your great potential.

I think part of the way to begin to overstep is to stop with all the labeling.

When kids are growing up,

I know I'm one of,

We're three sisters,

And it's easy for parents who are like,

Oh,

This is the athletic one,

This is the pretty one,

This is the kind one.

I'm assuming you're all three.

No,

You're so sweet.

And then you start to think of yourself in those limited ways,

Right?

You're not going to be more than that,

Or you compare yourself to other people.

And I think we also label people around us all the time,

Like,

Oh,

That person is a barista,

Or this person is an ambulance driver,

Whatever it is.

And then we assign only certain people to be able to influence us and inspire us.

And we do that to ourselves as well,

When it's so limiting to look,

I mean,

Everybody can become anything and everything they want to be.

The big problem is that voice in our heads that says,

Be happy with what you have.

It's better than where you came from.

Or those borders,

Right?

Yeah.

And again,

Say the three again,

Audacious.

And I remember those two people I told you about,

I want to unpack them slowly.

Audacity.

Those two people I told you about,

I remember I would tell you,

There's something like,

They're a little bit crazy,

Right?

And why do they think that,

Of course,

These things should.

.

.

It makes no sense.

And when I stopped,

And I remember having an aversion to it because I didn't think I could ever be a little like that,

Right?

Then when I questioned that silly thought,

And I challenged it,

Then I was like,

Okay,

Yeah,

I'm all in.

I'm going to jump to the other side.

That's the first part of breaking the chains,

Right?

And then the second one?

Pushing.

So,

Meaning?

Do something.

So,

Actually taking an action step to break the chains.

And then the third is,

As soon as you do that,

And you've now removed the bars,

Then you need to expand the yardage,

Right?

Make sure you expanded a mile,

Then two miles,

Then 50 miles,

And so on and so forth,

Till it's limitless.

I mean,

We do get that question a lot.

Like,

Oh,

You've achieved this,

That,

Whatever.

I don't even like hear it because if I ever took any of that seriously,

I'd probably stop expanding the borders.

Absolutely.

And I want to relate it to that.

I want to share something which.

.

.

It's funny.

I had this thought yesterday,

And it's an important one.

When we talk about manifesting our potential,

When we talk about.

.

.

We're first saying that we are all underestimating,

Every single one of us,

Underestimating our great potential.

By the way,

Even those who are doing fairly a good job at this,

Still,

You can keep pushing.

Limitless.

And then we're talking about how to live with audacity,

Push,

And overstep.

It's not for the purpose of what people will then think about us,

Right?

It's at the basic core of our being.

We need to bring this to the world.

So for example,

I'm actually going to read a letter soon,

One of our listeners who uses their experience to help others who are going through the same challenges that she went through.

The right way to view that is not that.

.

.

And I'm assuming this is true for her.

Not that now the people who she's helped think kindly of her,

Or think,

Oh wow,

She's an amazing person.

She's a helpful.

.

.

But really it's that in order for me to be happy,

In order for my soul to be content,

I need to be bringing it out to the world.

Whether a thousand people think great about it,

Or one person does,

Or zero people do.

It's not about.

.

.

Because I want to be careful because the ego can.

.

.

It's not the end of the world if a person listens to this podcast,

Starts living with audacity and pushes and oversteps and accomplishes great things.

There are stepping also sounds negative by the way.

Oh,

I'm sorry.

I overstep.

I know.

I just want to say it because.

.

.

But what I'm saying is that the effect is not to do something amazing so that others will applaud.

The point is this is actually what we must do.

You know,

I often use the example of a tree.

A tree does not grow because people around are saying,

Oh,

Go tree,

Go tree.

Grow,

Grow,

Grow.

Right?

A tree grows because that's its nature.

It must.

It must keep pushing forward.

It must be bringing fruit and itself to the world.

So like yesterday,

Every week I had the opportunity to share with thousands of our students a lecture that I give on Saturday on Shabbat.

And I was preparing for it.

I was saying to myself,

I was really excited about it.

I often get excited about this wisdom.

And I said,

I'm so excited to share,

But then I realized just the fact that I got excited,

That's enough.

So I hope this is clear.

Tell me if it is.

But as we talk about appreciating our potential,

Pushing forward,

Living with audacity and overstepping to manifest that,

Let's bring it back to why.

Not because you want to be lauded by people,

You want people to love you and you're a great author,

I'm a great lecturer,

Whatever those words are.

Thank you.

But because this is actually the only way to happiness for me.

If I'm living my potential.

Is that clear?

I really hope I made that clear because,

Again,

If people listen to the podcast and started living in this way and manifested great things and people love them,

They were happy to be and they did it for that.

That's also great.

It's not the end of the world,

But it's not the.

.

.

Well,

It's limited again.

And I think it goes back to,

I think if you actually do all of these things for the right reason,

Then it takes you away from the two things I said at the beginning.

Where right now,

Even if you are thinking of yourself as a fraud or you're thinking you can't do it,

Or you think that you can do it,

Still a lot of that is rooted in the ego and it's very much connected to external.

What people think of you,

How they view you.

So I think,

And I'm happy you brought this up,

I think the way to get out of this whole limited belief system,

But also living this existence is to not take credit for any of your good fortune,

Not for anything that actually you're,

Except for the negative things,

Because you are creating that really or feeding it.

All of the blessings and good fortune you have has very little to do with you.

It's the light of the creator that's within you.

If we want to remove our ego,

I love this verse.

Where is it from?

It's nothing of me,

Right?

Where it says that,

That it's nothing of me.

It was in the month of Pisces,

That that's the idea for the month.

Nothing that I have done.

It's nothing with my talents,

Not my genius,

Not my perseverance.

None of that has brought anything good to me in life.

It's only with a connection to my source,

To the creator.

And I think that if we do that,

If that's really the consciousness,

Then how could you ever fall prey to taking the things that you do very seriously in the wrong way,

Right?

Or connected to what people think about you,

Because at the end of the day,

It's not you.

None of it's really you.

Of course,

You want to put all your effort into the things you do,

But for them to have life and expansion and to keep creating,

They need to come and be connected to the place we all go to and come from.

Well,

So yeah,

I mean,

So it's not yours,

But it's through you.

Yes,

But how are you able to channel that?

How does it go through you?

How does it be something that you don't own,

That you don't keep as yours,

That you don't take all the credit for?

To know that without connecting consistently to your source,

The place we came from,

The place we end up at back again,

As long as you're connected to that,

Then you really can't take anything too seriously.

Not the negative,

Not the positive.

Instead,

You're just being a channel that constantly looks for ways to expand and to reveal.

Right.

Yeah,

But it's a pretty high concept.

I hope it's.

.

.

But for instance,

Because one of the really great teachers of the past hundred years,

He often writes that everything that he wrote,

And he wrote unbelievably beautiful,

Revealed beautiful teachings,

He says,

None of it is mine.

It's just that the generation needed this wisdom,

So it came through me.

And that's really what you're saying.

It's not a diminishment of our accomplishments.

It's a clarity of where it came from.

It came through me,

But not mine.

But it's a beautiful thing.

For instance,

My hope is every single day that I am a powerful conduit.

And the only way,

Like you said,

The only way I can be a conduit for unbelievable wisdom and sharing goodness is if I am not taking ownership on it.

Yes.

And the thing is,

This is what was very freeing for me.

For me to get out of the shackles of being a perfectionist and even the imposter syndrome,

I really stopped and said,

OK,

None of this really.

.

.

If people like me,

If they don't,

If some people like what I have to say,

Others don't.

Even if I affect what.

.

.

It became more about being,

Right,

Than doing.

Even if I influence one person in the world in a positive way,

That's enough.

And then that was the first step.

And then when I started to remove myself more and more from all of it,

Right,

I just wanted to be a channel and have light and energy and information and wisdom flow through me.

Then I couldn't even take any of this seriously.

It didn't mean anything anymore because all that really mattered.

And I felt so complete and so alive in those moments where I was back to this consciousness of just let it go through me.

Right.

It's a beautiful concept and one,

Again,

That certainly is the way to continuously be able to manifest greatness.

If you really,

Really start.

.

.

And again,

I'm trying to think for our listeners to begin with those who have never really focused on this consciousness,

Right,

Of even when you're being a parent,

Right,

Or even if you're trying to help somebody else,

To really consciously remind yourself that the best scenario is if I don't see this as wisdom or great ideas coming from me,

But really there's a more powerful source of wisdom and light and goodness and teaching and that I want it to flow through me.

Right.

And by the way,

When you put yourself in that situation,

So what are you doing in those moments?

You're listening to only the good voice within you,

Right?

So you're connecting to that.

And through this process,

The best parts of you are revealed actually.

So you're tapping into your highest potential each and every time you have that consciousness.

So I found that to be the perfect formula for me to get out of my head,

Out of my ego,

Stop taking myself so seriously.

By the way,

A deflated ego and an inflated ego,

They're both coming from the same place.

So whether you think badly of yourself or too highly from yourself,

It's still connected to all that's external.

So for me,

It really,

It shifted things in a profound way.

I mean,

Clearly I still can relate to some of these things.

So it's always work,

But that was.

.

.

For sure.

One thing that I would add,

I was actually having a conversation today with somebody.

We spoke about living with audacity,

Pushing,

Overstepping.

Something that's important for you to become,

To be,

To do,

Make sure you're taking action.

There's an understanding that.

.

.

I think we often think,

I am who I am and I can either reveal it or not reveal it.

I can do it or not do it.

But the reality is that we become what we do.

That yes,

We have unlimited potential,

But let's use an example.

Somebody who wants to help people who are recovering addicts,

Alcoholics,

And he or she before this podcast,

Let's say,

Doubted their ability to do it.

Now they hear this podcast and they're inspired.

Okay,

I have this limitless potential.

I believe that I should be overstepping.

I should live with audacity.

I really want to do it.

If you don't start taking action,

No matter how much you believe,

You want to believe,

You want to do,

You're not becoming that person.

So the understanding is that it's not just the thought about it,

The consciousness is very important,

But the doing,

The actual action is one of the greatest ways by which we begin to manifest that potential.

And then you become that being,

That person,

Having the ability.

It won't go perfectly the first time,

The 10th time,

The 100th time,

Or the 1000th time,

Maybe even.

But as long as you're pushing yourself to do,

Because I think,

And you've spoken about this often,

This talking versus doing.

Taking thought for action.

Yeah.

In this regard where we do know and hopefully accept that we have limitless potential,

And even though I mentioned before that,

I do recommend for every single one of us to remind ourselves that once a day,

At least,

Of how powerful we are dormant.

Unless you're taking action every single day,

You're not becoming that person.

You have no chance of manifesting that potential.

So it's the consciousness,

It's the thought,

It's the reminder of my potential,

But then do.

Do,

Do,

Do.

Do it well,

Do it poorly,

It doesn't matter.

But by doing,

You become it.

It's a very important understanding.

So let me ask you,

When was the last time you overstepped?

Last time I overstepped.

I have a question for you too.

Last time I overstepped.

I know for me it's interesting.

For me,

It's a thing of a lot of the small things in that,

Yeah,

I remember this.

This is something really small,

But I think it's an action.

Often you're walking down the street and I know you often mention it,

But you're walking down the street,

Especially in a small town,

And somebody says hello to you.

You really like that,

Right?

The people who go out of their way.

I do,

Yeah.

Or when we run by each other.

I love that.

I love warning hikers,

Whatever.

So by nature,

I don't,

I've shared this before,

I'm not necessarily outgoing in that way.

Although most of my life is spent in that way.

But I always sort of,

In my mind,

Are people going to like it or not like it?

And one of the things that I've done recently is when I'm walking down the street,

I'll say hello to people.

By the way,

It's not always received well.

Really?

I haven't been with you when you've done it.

I guess I haven't.

That must be really new.

So the point,

My point is that,

You know,

In some people's mind,

In my mind,

As I think about it logically,

You know,

Maybe it's overstepping.

Like I,

You know,

I'm not always necessarily excited when somebody stops me in the middle of the street,

But I think,

You know,

You asked me about overstepping.

I think that's,

You know,

I see that in a little bit of way of overstepping.

By the way,

I think people are much more open to pretty women saying hello to them.

That's a false,

That's an excuse you give yourself.

Yeah,

Whatever.

But I agree.

I agree.

I mean,

You don't want to do something.

Oh,

They're going to be nicer to a woman or whatever.

Now.

Okay,

Michael.

Sometimes it's true.

Yeah.

My question to you is.

.

.

I'm like,

No,

They'll be equally nice to you.

Which is not always true.

Yes,

If you smile.

The recent double,

That was kind of my question,

But a recent time that you did or did not push yourself.

It could be either one.

By the way,

To our listeners,

Play along.

I mean,

I feel like my nature is more to push.

Like,

Yeah,

Clearly over achieving aspects.

But I think that for me,

The real restriction is not to push.

So you need to stop yourself from pushing.

I mean,

It depends on what context.

Like for me,

I'll push in every area.

And usually what suffers is my exhaustion.

And so for me to wake up a little later or work out one hour less in a day,

That's real.

And so I did that yesterday.

And it felt really good to actually honor that and not be like,

You have to do everything at 100 miles an hour or you didn't do enough type of thing.

Does that answer your question?

Yeah,

Kind of.

Would you be a better answer for me?

That I think is the perfect answer for you.

Oh,

Thank you.

Is there anything else you wanted to share?

No,

Do you have any other thoughts?

There was a prophet,

His name was Jeremiah.

Jeremiah,

I'm going to keep singing.

I think our listeners are enjoying it.

Keep going.

I'll take a sip while you're at it.

I don't know all the words.

Is that the same song?

To the world?

I don't know the first one.

The second one I kind of know.

All right,

That's it.

So the story of the way the book of Jeremiah begins,

It's really this battle of everything we spoke about until now where Jeremiah is being chosen to be a voice to the world.

And he keeps diminishing himself.

And the prophecy or the sort of the message from God to Jeremiah is,

Before you were born,

I knew you.

A voice to the world I have created you.

Don't say I'm a child or a young man,

For everywhere you go,

I will be with you.

And everything that I will give to you,

You will say.

And that,

I think,

For every single one of us,

We get stuck in,

I am a child.

Whether we're 50 years old,

We still view ourselves not enough.

And I often think about it and often have the opportunity to share those words.

Don't say it.

Stop saying,

I am too young.

I am too this.

For everywhere I knew you,

I knew your soul,

I knew your potential,

The light the Creator says,

Before you were born.

And that's actually why you were born.

You were born because you are great.

You were born because you had so much to do in this world.

You were born because you have such a strong voice to bring to the world.

Everywhere I send you,

You will go and everything you speak,

I will put in your mouth.

To me,

It's one of the most inspiring,

Especially as it relates to this idea,

For every single one of our listeners to know before your soul came into this world,

It was known.

It was known how much you have to do,

How powerful your voice is.

Set aside that voice that says,

I am not.

I am not.

I am not too of this or not enough of that.

Everywhere you go.

It's in the children's book.

On the day you were born,

This happened,

That happened,

The trees came together.

The whole world came to support you to come.

And imagine if every parent said that to their children when they came into the world and gave them that.

That was the voice in their head.

Yeah.

And again,

It's interesting.

One of our children often texts me in the morning to give them a blessing for the day.

So today when he texts me for the blessing,

I said,

May you really appreciate the greatness of your soul and manifest it throughout the day.

And I think that's a message,

Yes,

Parents should give to the kids,

But each one of us should be giving to ourselves every single day.

Well,

It's interesting.

I wasn't really going to go into this,

But no,

It just reminded me of the podcast we did a while ago about how just be like an okay parent.

Right.

Donald Willicott.

And because there are parenting styles that increase the likelihood of a posture syndrome.

So that was really interesting.

So I mean,

The thing is we can always blame our parents at the end of the day for our poor lives.

Right.

And a lot of people do that forever.

Sadly in their seventies even.

The parents are dead now,

Buried in the ground.

And it's still like if my mother had whatever.

So undeserved praise is one way that parents mess up their kids.

If your parents or other significant adults gave you an acknowledgement for things that you didn't think you deserved praise for,

You might have become instilled with the sense that you were a phony,

Which is interesting.

I can not going to give any more feedback about that or no praise at all,

Which is the flip side.

If you never received praise at all,

Even for something impressive like getting good grades or being a top athlete,

You probably learn to think of yourself as inadequate and that you were rarely up to stuff.

So I thought that was really interesting or even the lack of entitlement.

You're saying that if you were disciplined as a child using language like your sister gets to sit in the front because she ate all of her dinner or these kinds of things,

Basically you think you're deserving is tied to a punishment or something you did or didn't do.

So thanks,

Mom and Dad.

Remind me,

Again,

I won't get to anybody who's ever watched Arrested Development.

That's kind of a theme throughout that show.

So thank you to all of our listeners.

Thank you to all of you who send in your questions and stories.

Again,

We- It's nice to have a picture on this one.

Yes.

I'm not sure if they want us to share it.

No,

Probably not.

So I won't put it on there.

So this is from Alyssa.

It's really a beautiful letter.

It's a little bit long,

But I think it's so powerful.

I want to share all of it.

Dear Monica and Michael,

I have been thinking about writing to you for a while to share how much of an impact you've had on my life.

So all of our listeners,

If you have any stories to share,

Please,

Please share them both because Monica and I really are inspired by them,

But also I'm sure all of our listeners would love to hear.

So a little bit of history.

I discovered that while I moved when I was 27 across the country,

I discovered that while my geographic location may have changed,

My patterns and problems did not.

I had a spiritual awakening or more like an aha moment when I first realized that maybe it wasn't everyone else who had the issues.

Maybe just maybe it was me.

At that exact time in my life,

When I was finally open to receiving it,

Kabbalah came radiating into my life and I've never looked back.

I am just one example of someone who has been forever changed by the wisdom and the example that you have shared.

You were there with me when my second son,

Elijah,

Was born at 28 weeks,

Weighing just one pound,

Three ounces.

But halfway through the pregnancy,

When doctors discovered that there was a problem,

I knew right then and there that I was going to look at the situation as an opportunity.

An opportunity to grow closer to God,

An opportunity to strengthen and appreciate the relationship with those who are most important to me.

I had learned that blessings are based on consciousness.

So no matter what happens,

If I grow closer to the Creator,

Then isn't it really a blessing?

That was the hardest time in my life.

Surrendering to my Creator while of course begging for my child to live.

Elijah was born in Rosh Hashanah 2017,

And I was able to surrender as I was being wheeled into the operating room for an emergency C-section.

I totally let go.

Hearing his tiny little cry for the first time was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my lifetime.

Elijah is now three and is still facing many challenges,

Including chronic lung disease and cerebral palsy.

Hearing your story about your son,

Josh,

Reminds me every day that in many ways I am so beyond blessed.

The beautiful blessings that have come from being Elijah's mom are immeasurable.

I totally can see that I'm such a better,

Stronger,

And more loving person now versus if I had never gone through this experience.

Instead of giving into the doubts and fears,

I choose life and hope every single day.

So beautiful.

Elijah is a very special soul who spreads light and laughter wherever he goes.

He is the true teacher.

In 2019,

I finally was able to get sober after battling drug and alcohol addiction my entire life.

You were there when I hit rock bottom.

Watching Kabbalah University was the only moment of peace that I could find when I was crippled with fear and anxiety,

Scared that I was going to die at any second and leave my little boys without a mother.

I was able to let go and truly ask the Creator to help for the very first time.

Once again,

Surrendering was what brought about the peace that I'd been searching for my entire life.

I haven't touched a drink since.

I'm happy to say that now I am able to share my light and love with others who struggle with addiction.

I found the most beautiful gift in being able to turn my pain into sharing,

To sharing with others who are struggling.

In this way,

Whenever I experience pain now,

I can more easily see how it can become a benefit to others.

This truly diminishes the actual experience of pain.

And the crazy part is I am able to find joy in the places that used to be the darkest.

So thank you for all that you do in spreading this invaluable wisdom to the world.

I'm inspired every time that I listen to your podcast,

Not just by the actual wisdom that you share,

But by the example of your relationship.

Marriage is hard for me.

I'm very independent in parentheses,

I.

E.

Scared.

But seeing a marriage that is based on true love and spiritual growth gives me hope of what I can achieve if I continue to do the work.

It's already made a huge difference in my perception and experience of marriage.

And I'm so very excited about what the future holds.

Thank you again for being you and for continuing to push yourselves to share this wisdom with love and light,

Alyssa.

That's beautiful.

Really,

Really beautiful.

And first of all,

Thank you,

Alyssa,

For sharing with us and for allowing us to share with all of our listeners.

And to all of our listeners,

Please send all of your stories.

Certainly continue to send your questions.

As I said,

It inspires Monica and myself,

And I'm sure that it brings great light and inspiration to all of our listeners.

So as we always say,

Make sure that you share this podcast with your friends,

With your family.

Make sure you give five star reviews on Apple Podcasts and everywhere else that you get your podcasts.

Make sure to continue sending in your questions.

We base a lot of the podcasts around your questions,

Even if we don't get directly to them,

Topics,

Certainly stories.

You know,

As I say,

We do this because,

Again,

I enjoy spending this time with Monica,

But also more importantly,

The hopefully inspiration and wisdom that it brings to our listeners.

And do what you can to bring this wisdom,

This podcast to more and more people.

I hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording.

Bye.