54. Greatness Within: How To Live Free Of Self-Doubt

We need to start from a place of knowing that wherever we find ourselves,

You have to love yourself completely.

It doesn't mean there's not things that you want to change about yourself.

But I think that to do that in a healthy and strong,

Lasting,

Powerful way,

You actually need to say,

Okay,

I am enough today.

I am deserving of good things.

And there's these other parts of myself that I think could change or I could just drop altogether that don't serve me.

We have to remind ourselves of all the time.

I have tremendous power.

I have a tremendous soul,

A tremendous light.

And my life's journey,

Whether I'm 15 or 55 or 105,

Is how do I find the best ways to reveal my true essence that is already there?

The more energy,

Thought,

Worry that we invest in what others are thinking of,

The more obscure our soul,

Our essence,

Our power becomes.

Welcome to the Spiritually Hungry Podcast,

Episode 54.

I wanted to be different.

All right.

So,

We are going to touch upon something I think is really important.

I guess you do too,

Or we wouldn't be talking about it today.

So,

I was thinking about this,

Instead of jumping right into what we want to discuss,

Let's have a little intro here.

So,

There's nothing really,

There's no such thing as good or bad.

Would you agree?

Well,

On the extremes,

There probably is.

But for the most part,

Everything has good and bad in it.

Correct.

But many of us grew up learning a very real difference between being good or bad.

When we behaved in a way that our parents or authority figures wanted us to behave,

We were called good and we were rewarded.

I mean,

I lived that childhood.

I think many out there have.

When we misbehaved,

We were called bad and we were punished,

And usually in a way that also felt bad.

So,

Good equals reward,

Bad equals punishment.

As small children,

We needed a way to learn how to flourish in our society.

This model,

For better or worse,

Worked pretty well when we were children anyway.

So,

For kids,

Right?

If you said please and thank you with a smile,

It was very adorable for a young girl.

But imagine this characteristic when you're older.

As an adult with a career or marriage,

Even children,

This quality creates loneliness,

Bitterness,

And exhaustion.

Always being on,

People pleasing,

Smiling,

Right?

But again,

As children,

We give it that feedback that it's actually,

It's a good thing,

Right?

And to have that awareness.

For a young boy who grew up with that lesson,

Being a good man meant being emotionless and aggressive.

Being tough meant being good.

Stop crying,

Be a good boy.

But for the same boy who is now a grown adult,

Some of life's greatest moments feel shallow.

Never learning to acknowledge or validate his emotions has left him without a sense of connection.

So,

We're not going to talk about labeling,

Although I don't like labeling in any sense and the good,

The bad,

Whatever,

We don't do that to our children.

But the truth is nothing's good or bad until we decide.

So,

Events,

Qualities,

Everything we see is just energy and energy is inherently neutral.

When you let go of what you learn to be good or bad,

You shed the constraints of what others want and you step into a new kind of spiritual liberation.

Accepting ourselves exactly as we are is a huge first step in our spiritual growth and it's the beginning of our transformation.

So,

Why am I talking all about this?

Because how do we,

Right?

If we grew up with this kind of understanding and a lot of children get this feedback,

How do we become adults that are actually confident and that we trust ourselves to make good choices?

Because if you're raised that these are the rules and a lot of what I just said about good or bad,

It's external feedback,

External validation.

It's almost exclusively external.

Right.

It's already growing up.

And a lot of people do grow up like that.

So,

You actually never have that process of who am I?

What do I believe?

Can I trust myself to make good decisions?

What do I even know?

How do I feel good about myself?

Where do I get my self-esteem from?

Which,

In case you haven't caught on yet,

That's what we will be speaking about today is really what does it mean to be a confident human being,

To have self-esteem and to really know and trust yourself to make good decisions?

Right.

And I would add,

I think most people would like to be more confident.

The question is- I mean,

They pay a lot of money to learn how to be confident.

Most people really do.

They really suffer with it.

I spoke with somebody yesterday and she was like,

Is this the right thing or the wrong thing?

And I said to her,

You've asked yourself this question your entire life.

I've known her for many,

Many,

Many years.

And it's always,

Is it right or is it not?

She never actually processes,

How does this feel to me?

Is it true or is it false?

Does this feel like the real thing and is it best for me and my process?

And taking her whole life,

Right?

Her past,

Her future,

Her present experiences and feelings to make decisions.

And because she never cultivated that and grew that,

It's kind of like.

.

.

And I said,

Stop looking at things in terms of good or bad or right or wrong.

Let's look at this in a whole different way.

But most people really never go through that process of really knowing who they are.

Right.

So hopefully a few of the points that we will share today will give our listeners the direction and guidance about how they can become.

.

.

Because confidence can also be a negative thing.

I'm sure we know many confident- Well,

That's- I was going to say the word idiots,

Right?

But confident people who are- See you,

Michael.

Yes.

Idiots.

Who are not fun to be around.

Right.

So the right confidence,

What that means and how to acquire it.

Right.

Because we're not talking about ego.

That's exactly right.

People who are.

.

.

Yeah,

There's different qualities,

Different traits,

Different signs have and some are stronger in different areas.

But I think people see confidence as like they're really sure of themselves.

But sure of yourself could be full of yourself,

Right?

And again,

I've often found that the more confident the person is in truth internally,

The less they outwardly behave with ego and let's say stupid ways.

Whereas conversely,

Often individuals who behave externally with confidence or loud voices,

Those are often the people who have the least amount of inner confidence.

And therefore they use these external devices to try to prove to the world,

Maybe even to themselves that they are confident.

Exactly.

And I often say our children are inspiration to me.

And I remember when our oldest daughter Miriam was going through the teenage years.

I mean,

She's still technically a teenager,

But like the beginning of that,

Right?

Which she was trying to find her voice,

Trying to find who she was,

Her purpose,

What was important to her.

And in that process and her finding that she was rejecting me a lot,

Right?

And at the time I was confused.

I was hurt quite honestly by it.

She didn't want to spend time together.

And the more she tried to assert what she wanted or believed,

Even though she wasn't really sure what that was at the time,

The more she pushed me away.

And what I realized,

And listen,

We were all there.

As a teenager,

I remember the things that I did,

Even though nobody wants to really admit that stage of their life necessarily.

But I did certain things like that too to my parents in trying to really discover who I was.

And I think a lot of times.

.

.

So in this process with Miriam,

I really tried to be very patient,

Understand that it wasn't personal,

Even though it felt personal,

Of course.

I was being rejected,

But it was this push-pull like,

I want you,

I need you.

I love you.

Get away from me.

I don't talk to you.

I want to decide for myself.

And I allowed that process.

Of course,

I set boundaries of what I was okay with and what I wasn't,

But I allowed her to explore,

Or at least question what she desired and why.

And this beautiful thing eventually happened where she started to step into who she wanted to be as a human being.

Part of that was not caring what other girls her age thought or what they didn't think or what they thought about her.

She was able to remove herself from that because she had the space really to explore in a very healthy way.

I never reprimanded her or belittled her for rejecting me.

Instead,

I would ask questions.

I remember what happened was this evolution of her wanting to spend time together again and really knowing who she was.

And one morning I was working out really early because we were going on a trip.

I got up at 5.

30 and she set her alarm herself to come work out with me.

And she didn't do it because I asked her to,

Or I told her it was the right thing to do or that she should do it.

She did it because she decided that that was something that she wanted to do and it was a good choice for her.

And we went and we worked out and what I realized,

She started to become a person who really knows who she is and what she believes.

I think for many people,

So we talked about what it's like as a child,

Right?

You get this feedback,

Good,

Bad,

Right,

Wrong.

And then in the teenage years,

You're really supposed to get to this place where you're able to question everything around you.

Really ask yourself,

Does this feel right to me or not?

And I think unfortunately,

A lot of parents and people in those kinds of positions to do as I say,

I'm the adult or I am the parent.

And what happens is then we lose that ability to give ourselves important feedback,

Right?

And really cultivating that part of ourselves that we'll be able to make choices.

Now we're going to make mistakes,

We're going to fail and that's part of the process,

Right?

But I think sometimes we get so dependent on that external feedback or relying on people that know better for us because we never really fully got the positive feedback that even though there's going to be a period.

And I think it's really important to talk about when a child is 13,

I'd say until about 21,

Where they really,

I mean,

I remember I was filled with angst,

Like who am I?

And I'm getting a lot of different messages from many people that are worried about behavior.

And it's not about behavior.

We're going to have some bad behavior and trying to discover who we are.

It's a process,

Right?

So I think a lot of people actually numb that or dull that or avoid that because they're getting the feedback that this isn't right or you're being problematic at the time.

Well,

I would add another element that I think also hinders that process is as you said,

It is true that as we grow and truth is this goes even beyond the teenage years,

This is for most of us continues to this day.

We too often base even trying to understand what I want in life and whether I'm 15 or 35 or 55 on external ideas.

What I don't think we often do,

Neither when we're teenagers nor as we continue growing in life is really coming to understand what it is that I,

And I,

I mean the best version of me,

My soul,

My true essence desires.

Because even though it's easy- So your potential self though.

Well,

Your true self,

Because again,

A lot of teenagers and that's the process,

Reject their parents for the purpose,

Whether consciously or unconsciously to get to know themselves.

But the reality is that those years are not often spent in getting to know oneself,

But rather to by being influenced by other people,

Often peers,

Whether they are behaving the right way or the wrong way.

But my point is if you raise a child to just listen to you as a parent,

Because you said so then they're going to look to their peers and those years even more so because they're used to following at that point.

Yeah.

I think that as we look to the question of how,

And this I believe is a very important element of life,

Regardless of what stage of life a person is in.

I don't think I've ever met,

I would say it this way.

I've met very few people,

No matter how old,

That do not desire to have greater confidence,

At least in certain areas of their lives.

And I think it begins as it does for me with a truth,

And that is that our essence,

Our potential is limitless.

That no matter how much we understand about ourselves,

How much positive ideas we have about who we are and what we can do,

It doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what is possible for us.

Before you get too deep,

Because I know you're going to go deep fast,

I just want to point out that it's a little bit difficult,

Right?

Because I just want everybody to not feel bad or shame themselves where they find themselves.

Everywhere we look,

There's billboards,

There's messages of like,

You can look better,

You can do this thing to change yourself,

You can be more successful,

You can be happier,

Just buy this product,

Take this pill,

Take this course,

Take this coaching thing,

Right?

The feedback we get is that we really are not enough.

So what I do want to say is that we need to start from a place of knowing that wherever we find ourselves,

You have to love yourself completely.

It doesn't mean there's not things that you want to change about yourself.

But I think that to do that in a healthy and strong,

Lasting,

Powerful way,

You actually need to say,

Okay,

I am enough today.

I am deserving of good things.

And there's these other parts of myself that I think could change or I could just drop altogether that don't serve me.

And from that space,

You can build upon- I would add to that,

That not only am I enough,

But that I hold within me my essence as I am today with tremendous light,

Goodness,

Blessings,

Growth,

That if I live my life in a way of growth,

It's not that I'll be adding anything to myself,

But simply revealing- The best part.

The effectiveness that already resides within me.

And I think that has a completely different view of ourselves and the process of life.

I think too often people or even we at times fall to the fact that I need to acquire.

I need to acquire wisdom.

I need to acquire strength.

I have all of that already within me.

And the process of life is discovering and revealing the internal attributes that are already there.

And I think when you go through life with that understanding,

It's a very different view.

Whereas,

Unfortunately,

You often meet people who literally feel that they are in a place of lack,

In a place of not being and needing external addition in order to become who they're meant to become.

So that's where I start.

I know for myself and- But certainly there's times in life where people feel more powerful- Yes.

.

.

.

Versus other times.

But I don't think you can start that journey towards having confidence in yourself unless you begin with a clarity of how powerful you are today with no external additions ever necessary.

Only thing necessary is to maybe remove some of the layers that are hiding that great light that already resides within me.

If you don't start with that,

I think it's very difficult to come to a true place of confidence and trusting yourself.

If you start there,

Which is,

Again,

The thought we have to remind ourselves of all the time,

I have tremendous power.

I have a tremendous soul,

A tremendous light.

And my life's journey,

Whether I'm 15 or 55 or 105,

Is how do I find the best ways to reveal my true essence that is already there?

Well,

Most people,

And we've talked about this in other podcasts,

They think they're the last bad thing they ever did or the bad thing that ever happened to them.

So- Silly.

.

.

.

For them,

Of course,

But for them to go to a place where they're enough today,

And let's talk about this for a second,

But they're feeling unhappy about where they are today.

Oh,

Very much so.

Or defeated or- Or made a terrible mistake.

All true.

All true.

I just did a terrible thing.

I made a terrible mistake.

I don't see how I'm getting out of this problem.

I don't care.

I don't see how I'm going to do this next great thing I want to do.

All those are very.

.

.

You can partner that with what I said,

Because what we're talking about when we say that I am a tremendous light and I am a tremendous soul and I have tremendous potential,

It doesn't mean it's already revealed,

But it does mean that it's inside of me.

It's me.

It's who I am.

I will not suddenly find somebody who's going to give me something that is not already within me.

Yes,

Maybe they can help me reveal it and I will find ways and wisdom and direction,

All of that,

But it has to begin and this has to be a constant message that we give ourselves.

I would say at least once a day,

Maybe when you wake up in the morning,

Remind yourself,

Not only am I enough,

I have so much more within me than I even begin to understand.

And then,

Yes,

You go throughout the day and you make your mistakes and you start revealing a little bit more of yourself,

But if that's not the starting point,

I think it'll be very difficult to ever get to the true end point,

Which is complete trust of myself,

Confidence in myself,

And in my abilities to do what it is that my soul came to this world to do in what I want to do in this world.

So how do you get from A to Z?

You wake up in the morning and you're like,

Okay,

I have everything that I ever will need to be 100% what I'm meant to be.

Exactly.

I would add two more paradoxical steps to that.

First,

You have to not care at all what anybody thinks of you.

You have to not care why.

First of all,

It's freeing and it's the best way to live.

It's also a waste of time to care.

But more importantly,

The more energy,

Thought,

Worry that we invest in what others are thinking of,

The more obscure our soul,

Our essence,

Our power becomes.

It's very important to understand this.

And I think it's interesting,

I was having this conversation a few weeks ago from somebody with one of our listeners in Los Angeles,

That I think this is one of the most important,

Again,

Constant messages that we have to remind ourselves of.

I don't care what anybody thinks of me.

I shouldn't care.

One of my greatest jobs,

Goals in life is to get to a state where I could care less about what anybody thinks of me.

We had this conversation a few days ago.

I think for people who even have devoted their life to getting on the other side of that,

Because I think we all care.

We talked about at the beginning of the podcast of why we're set up to actually really care.

Even if you make a decision,

As I have,

My life really started to turn around and really started to work for me when I really couldn't care less,

Done with that chapter a thousand times.

But then,

When you get a new,

Let's say you get a promotion or there's more pressure or there's more expectation of you,

That old kind of thought or thinking comes back in.

It creeps its way back in your life of like,

Well,

Now you just got promoted or let's say you're making $300,

000 more a year and now the expectation,

The pressure is on.

So what do you say to that?

And that does,

That's a real truth.

That's a real reality for many people.

It will come- Because the idea is this,

Even if you get to a place where you don't feel like you need to prove yourself,

You are enough and it's that knowing and believing that.

And from that space,

Of course,

You can create magic and you will reveal things that you never thought you could or never intended to even.

It becomes this beautiful thing.

Your life becomes absolutely this synchronistic thing that goes around all the time.

But then,

Right when you feel like you're in that space,

Okay,

Well now you get a new thing and then the pressure's on because it's all new again.

So with that newness,

How do you maintain that space?

I would say it's new and you start feeling,

Okay,

I don't really care what they think,

But I am responsible.

Now I have more responsibilities,

So does it not matter at all?

I think the more,

I think the negative,

I will call it,

Thought of what people are thinking of me can clothe itself in righteous clothing,

Right?

No,

You need to care because now you have more responsibilities.

So it'll try to find its way in,

But none of the tricks that our ego will play with us changes the foundational truth.

And that is that first,

We should not care at all when anybody thinks.

And more importantly,

The danger,

The danger,

Because I think often what can motivate us is either the desire,

The understanding that in order for me to allow my soul's light and blessings and greatness to manifest,

I need to not care.

I also have to be clear about the fact that to the degree that I do,

To the degree that I am invested,

Be it from one to 100%,

I am obscuring and will continue to obscure myself.

So,

When we understand that the degree to which we are invested in others' thoughts about us,

We are detracting of our ability to reveal our great light.

So it's not worth it.

Even if your ego wants to convince you that you should care and it always will come in with great ideas and the reasons why in this case you should really care,

You have to say,

No,

The danger is if I fall to this,

If I allow myself to continue living a life with even 10% or 20%,

Whatever that number is,

And in reality,

I think most of us are in the high 90s,

If not more,

Of how much of our life revolves around what other people are thinking or saying or think about us.

Every degree of care for people think about me creates a degree of veil over me,

Over my soul,

Making me incapable.

All that great light we spoke about before that is internal to me,

Incapable of being revealed.

Basically,

The remedy for,

Or the way you become actually confident is really not caring.

Well,

Yeah,

I think it's true.

Because that's the byproduct of that.

No,

Because the thing is if you really don't care,

You just become this force that goes out in the world and reveals because it's just about you,

Your soul's purpose,

Which now you're more in touch with because you quieted all the outside noise,

And then you're connecting to the creator,

Your source,

And then you're just out there as a force.

It's kind of like you have this force field around you that nothing actually can come in because you're so clear,

You're so straight.

And then of course,

When you're doing what you're meant to do without distraction,

You will feel confident.

Right.

I would add a third element to this,

Which is very much related,

And that is that the reason why you should be doing anything- In life.

.

.

.

In life is because that's what your soul needs to do.

There's a beautiful teaching from one of the great Kabbalists.

Often Kabbalistically,

We use the example of the trees,

Of the natural world,

But especially the trees.

And in one of his comments of P.

S.

Setsuna,

We've quoted before,

He says,

When you think about the tree,

And we were seeing it by the way here in Connecticut surrounded by trees- Nature,

Yeah.

And bees.

And bees.

The tree grows,

That tree grows,

And that tree grows,

Not because it's looking around to the other tree saying,

Hey,

What are they going to think about me if I grow or don't grow?

They are not thinking that at all.

They have an innate nature.

Their essence,

Their soul is to grow,

So they grow.

They do not have a thought about what any other tree or any person or any bee is thinking.

They know what they are,

What their nature is,

And they will fulfill it.

And that understanding that what I am doing with my life is what my soul needs to reveal.

I am not doing it because I will receive accolades.

I do not do it because I will be acknowledged even as parents.

Why are we parents?

Hopefully if we're desiring to parent well,

Why do we do that?

Well,

It's complicated.

I think often it's because- It's very complicated.

We want our children to love us.

We want this to become good people.

It's a whole list of things.

It's different for everybody.

But at the core,

What should it be?

Let's talk about what it should be.

My soul,

Because I've had the merit to have children,

Its purpose is to be an amazing parent to these children,

To give them wisdom,

Direction- Not amazing,

Just good enough.

Exactly.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Wrong.

You're not meant to be amazing parents.

Good enough parents,

Right?

But that's a part of my soul's great light.

Whether my kid,

I don't want to say the word,

Sort of acknowledge it or don't acknowledge it,

That should not change the essence of what and why I do what I do.

I know it's,

Again,

And this goes,

It's counterintuitive because I think often even speaking of ourselves as parents,

It matters to us a lot what our kids think about us,

What our kids think about our parenting and our parenting style and so on and so forth.

But at least let's begin to acknowledge that that's the wrong way to go about it.

And I want to use another story as an example.

One of the great Kabbalists of the past hundred years,

Rudash Lagh,

Who was the founder of the center that we are currently at the head of,

He passed away in 1954.

And a few days before he passed away,

He was on oxygen.

He was having trouble breathing.

And his attendant,

The person who was with him,

Saw that he was talking and he was revealing secrets and revealing wisdom.

So the student lifted the oxygen mask just to be able to hear what his teacher was saying,

What the great Kabbalist was saying.

And Rudash Lagh said,

Put it back on.

What I'm revealing is not meant for anybody to hear.

It's just light that needs to be revealed in the world.

And I like to,

And this is one of the key ways that I remind myself,

And it does lead to confidence,

But most importantly,

Why I do what I do.

Be it recording a podcast,

Be it giving a lecture,

Be it being a father,

Be it being a teacher,

Whatever it is of importance that we do,

The real driving force.

And again,

This all needs to be worked.

We all have to.

.

.

None of the things we've spoken about until now is anything that we can hear and okay,

Now we're going to live it.

No,

This is not an overnight fix.

Right.

So if we can keep in mind at least these three things,

Right?

The essence of my soul is everything that I need.

I don't need anything external.

I need to remove the veils to reveal it.

I don't care.

I could not care less,

Or at least I'm growing towards the degree of not caring what anybody thinks.

And third,

Why do I do what I do?

Why am I driven?

And every one of us is driven,

Hopefully,

If we're listening to our soul to do different things.

But why am I driven to do it?

Because this needs to be done in the world.

The tree needs to grow.

My soul needs to reveal its wisdom.

I'm recording this podcast,

Hopefully,

Not because I could care less about what our thousands of listeners are thinking about me as I'm recording it,

But because my soul needs to reveal whatever wisdom I'm able to reveal through this podcast.

That's the push pull in the world,

Because yes,

While that's true and you know it's true,

But then when you get a hug from your child or a Father's Day card that's usually the best dad ever or somebody says you changed their life,

We are still human beings in physical bodies and we do have a response to that.

Now it's up to us to see how much of a hold that takes or doesn't.

My point is,

Because you're making it sound so like it's just all about your soul's purpose.

On the other hand,

We are in physical bodies and we do feel those warm and fuzzy feelings when we do those things,

But I guess it's not making that the purpose.

It will be a byproduct of you doing what you're meant to do in the world.

But what's first,

The chicken or the egg?

A lot of people go through life and they don't know what they're meant to do.

They search and they struggle.

I spoke to somebody today- By the way,

I want to hear the rest of the- By the way,

I don't want to interrupt you,

But let me interrupt you.

Yes,

Go ahead.

If a person,

You and I and our listeners or anybody,

This person you spoke to today,

If they do not focus their lives on these three levels of thoughts,

Forget about ever really both finding and manifesting your potential.

But you were saying that you were speaking to somebody today.

And she's identified that there's a lot that you could do in the world and that when she's simple about her approach,

Well,

Then she's able to reveal.

When she's complicated about it,

She gets all confused and then she goes from career choice to career choice to career choice.

So clearly one is when her ego and fear is involved,

She gets all complicated in it and it doesn't work out.

And when she's really simple,

Things naturally come to her.

But I think that when people go through life,

They question,

Is this the right decision or is this not the right?

Do I go left?

Do I go right?

Do I go up?

Do I go down?

I don't know what to do.

And then because they can't decide,

They feel paralyzed.

Very few people start out.

So my point is,

Of course I agree with everything you're saying.

It's what we teach,

It's what we believe,

And it's how we live.

But for people who,

If spirituality is new to them or they're just starting to hear this part of their soul and they're raising the volume,

How do you get from living a life where up until now it's been all about doing what feels good,

What makes you happy.

One second.

It could even be rooted in things that are positive,

Right?

But you're still caring what people are thinking to the point.

And I think it's a hard leap to make when you really don't know what your soul's purpose is.

And of course you don't know your purpose because you haven't lived your life like that until this point.

So what do those people do?

We started very young.

You started when you were a very small child.

You're still very young.

No,

I mean relatively to what we're talking about.

And for me when I was 17,

And it's because I think we saw the veil was clear.

The illusion was very obvious to us.

But for people who have lived their lives a certain way until now,

Whatever age or whatever age they find themselves at,

And they really don't know,

They've turned down that volume.

They don't really know what they're supposed to do.

Absolutely.

So to answer your,

If you're asking that as a question,

I would say there is no easy answer to that.

No,

I want to give those starting points.

Right.

So I think I would go back to these three ideas.

I think- Say them again.

Just to spend the time to accept that your soul,

Your essence as it exists today is perfect,

Amazing,

Limitless,

Filled with light.

But how do you accept that if you haven't lived that way until now?

How do you accept that as a truth when you haven't seen- You have to.

It's kind of like,

Okay,

Let me give you this example.

It's kind of like you have a child,

Someone has a child,

And they're disobedient,

And they talk back to you,

But you have to know that they are whole,

Perfect,

Complete,

And that they're going to manifest things in a different way.

How do you know that when what you're seeing today is not that?

Right.

But every journey begins with the first step.

I don't think that there is an immediate solution except to go through this process on a consistent basis.

You're right.

If somebody's lived 50 years and never believed in themselves and never understood the power of their soul and spent too much time- 70 years,

Whatever.

Yeah.

Too much time caring about what other people think about them and not focusing their lives and just revealing what their essence is,

Absolutely it's very difficult.

There's no way by listening to a podcast or listening to anything or reading anything after an hour,

20 minutes,

That your life is going to change.

It's kind of like you just have to.

.

.

It's a knowing.

You know that the earth is round even though you don't experience the roundness of it.

Right.

I mean,

We never do,

Right?

It's just a knowing,

It's something that you actually can't touch,

See,

Feel.

Your five senses are not going to be able to meet that knowing right now necessarily.

The only thing I would add to that is that actually your soul knows this.

That's the beautiful part.

Nothing that we shared in this podcast is anything that you don't already know.

Like you said,

The problem is that too often,

Either throughout our lives or too often- You ignore the knowing.

Exactly.

We've turned down the volume on that knowing.

Okay.

It's important,

And we've spoken about this before,

That truth is not something that somebody convinces you of.

It's something that you already know.

Everything we've spoken about until now,

These three ideas are within you already.

Okay.

What's the second one?

The second is that I could care less about what anybody thinks about me.

Yeah.

I mean,

That's just a no brain.

That's a more obvious one.

No,

No,

No.

Because the thing is this.

It's a dead end.

Dead end.

You want to go to a dead end and then be stuck there in quicksand is to really spend your life caring what people think.

Because there will come a day and there will come a time where you're like,

Oh my God,

I wasted my whole life and that person isn't alive anymore.

That person's not my friend anymore.

That person was always horrible to me.

What did I do?

I think that everybody needs to give it a very short shelf life.

But unfortunately,

We still all fall to this to some extent.

It's all a matter of degrees.

Some people live their lives 100% caring about what other people think about them.

It's 30%,

But regardless what we're talking about is the fact that any amount of focus,

Care about what other people think about us- Is not a waste of time.

Well,

Not just a waste of time.

It necessarily obscures the truth of our essence.

And I think that's the point.

So you can't actually get to one,

By the way.

It's not only stupid and wrong,

It actually damages,

Does not enable me to reveal my essence,

Which is what I want to do.

And by the way,

If you're living in the two,

Of caring what people think,

You can actually never see one.

Exactly.

Okay.

And then three.

And the third is getting to the point or working on the idea that what I am doing that is important,

I am doing because my soul needs to reveal that in the world.

And I wonder,

Thinking about even artists like Michelangelo or Da Vinci,

When they were creating my,

And again,

Reading a little bit of their,

Knowing a little bit about the biography,

They didn't- They were just creating.

.

.

.

Because they wanted people to clap for them or to write books about them 500 years later or a thousand years later.

By the way,

How many people were,

They never made it while they were alive.

It was after their death that suddenly like,

Wow,

Let's applaud this great artist or author or whatever.

Exactly.

But their soul needed to reveal that beauty.

And their soul knew the truth on some level.

So that if we go through next time you are speaking to somebody,

You're trying to do something important,

Whether you're writing a book or whatever it is in life that you're doing,

It doesn't have to be something grand.

It could be in your backyard planting a garden.

But if it's coming from your essence,

Have that conscious,

Why am I doing it?

I'm not doing this because I care about what other people are going to say about this.

I'm doing it because as the tree grows,

My soul needs to reveal itself.

So interesting.

As you were speaking,

I was thinking about children again.

I dropped Abigail off at camp today and the things that they create in the day,

They're making all kinds of things.

I mean,

Things she'll probably never use again,

But like a weird bubble maker and an arrow thing.

I mean,

Just weird things.

But she's so proud of it.

She put in all of her essence and all of her personality and each of these obscure items that have come into my home that I'm probably going to throw out in a year from now because I won't do it this summer.

Then when she came home,

She's like,

Do we have any boxes?

She took this box and she's like,

And this is Cinderella's garden and this is where the mice are and the pigs,

What do they need?

Oh,

They need mud.

She's creating this whole thing.

For her,

It's enough.

If you go through life with that,

It doesn't matter about this one thing she's doing today or tomorrow,

But if you go through life with that energy,

With that knowing and really putting all of yourself into revealing you,

Your essence,

Your joy,

That's what she's doing with this box from Amazon.

And somebody was at our house,

They're like,

No,

It's dirty.

There's spiders.

I'm like,

It's a box and she's a child and let her create.

But if we go through life with a box and our soul and whatever,

I think that that's the point and anybody can start there.

Right.

And really to keep reminding ourselves.

And I do this all the time before I give a lecture,

Before I record a podcast,

Before I write something.

I love when you tell us about your process.

Yes,

What did you do?

I am doing this to reveal my light in the world.

I try to be as much as I can divorced from how it is received because again,

Hopefully I could care less about what people think about me or what I am doing as long as I'm trying to listen to my soul and reveal that in the world.

Also that's when I feel that we're able to really channel things that our soul knows.

And we really are a vessel for that information,

Whether it exists within us or it's something that we get that we haven't had access to yet.

It's this newness and this continuity that occurs.

And yeah,

You just have to start.

Yeah.

And again,

I would say,

I would really underline this point.

This has to be a constant conversation.

There's no days off.

No days off from this.

But the other side of this is that,

I don't want to say I promise or I guarantee,

But I would,

That if you are focusing every day on these three ideas,

You will definitely grow in confidence.

You will definitely grow in trusting yourself because you will see the benefits of it consistently.

Well,

It's basically deep knowledge of yourself.

Right.

But of the truest aspects of yourself.

Well,

Deep is that,

Right?

And when you tap into that,

Then you can put yourself in any situation or even anticipate how you're going to feel about something in a year from now based on the decision you're making today,

Because you're constantly growing,

Evolving,

Connecting to that aspect of you.

Yeah.

I would say that one of my favorite,

There's one of my father's teachers,

His name is Ruda Brandwein.

And one of my favorite,

I always like looking back and newspaper articles,

Things like that.

So I believe it was in 1968,

He was interviewed.

And the interview was interesting and he shared a lot of wisdom.

My favorite part of the interview was right in the beginning.

The journalist says,

I realized when I sat down with Ruda Brandwein that he could not care less whether I wrote the best things about him or the worst things about him.

And I think if we can aspire to live like that,

Our soul's light will be revealed.

And more importantly,

To the point of this podcast,

We will gain both in confidence in ourselves,

In our decisions in who we are and what we do.

And by the way,

When you really go deep with yourself and you really allow yourself to give any thoughts you have,

Beliefs,

You're going to hear some negative things.

You're going to hear fears,

You're going to hear doubts,

Worries,

Mistakes.

Don't be afraid to hear that.

Hear it,

Know that about yourself.

And then you can actually say,

Okay,

This is not important or that's how I lived the first part of my life or my life until now.

And now what do I want to reveal in the world?

Because if not,

You're constantly,

You're like just recycling all of that.

You're not really moving forward.

You're recycling everything that happened to you,

Every bad thing,

Every good.

And you stay in this like you're on a hamster wheel.

Absolutely.

So,

Are we going to get a letter today,

Michael?

We're actually going to get something which I found very inspiring.

We often share letters that we receive to Monica and Michael at kibale.

Com.

Please continue to send- I'm sorry,

I'm going to correct you.

Sometimes Michael shares letters we receive to Monica and Michael.

I want to share one of the reviews that we received on Apple Podcast.

I found it very inspiring and I'm sure many of our listeners will.

This is from this past Monday.

After I lost my wife two years ago,

I set out on a journey looking for meaning.

Meaning beyond her death,

Meaning of past love,

The meaning I like to look to create going forward.

After many wonderful books and conversations,

I met somebody who turned me on to the book the way.

I stumbled into spirituality and into spiritually hungry.

This amazing podcast that helps me to find control in my distraction filled existence.

After I lost my wife for 11 months,

I concentrated on healing.

This period offered great clarity.

When time passed and I allowed myself to take a backseat to my engagement of the world.

This podcast is bringing me back from the depths of,

In quotes,

Amusing myself to death.

Thank you for helping me realize how I can be a great dad,

For helping me to think through what I want for my next relationship,

And for opening my ears to my ego and my heart to my soul.

Just finished episode 16,

Working my way upwards.

So beautiful.

It's really so inspiring.

On so many levels.

Wow.

So thank you for writing that.

Thank you for listening to us and letting us be part of your journey.

I mean,

Let's start there,

Really.

Absolutely.

And to our listeners,

As always,

Please continue to send your stories,

Comments,

Questions to monicaandmichaelatkabala.

Com.

Continue to share this podcast with everybody you know.

Go to Apple Podcasts,

Write reviews,

Make five star reviews.

We,

As very apropos to this podcast that we just recorded,

Record this because we want to reveal this light in the world and hopefully find ways to improve people's lives.

And one way that you can help us is by sharing this podcast further with more and more people.

And it's not a coincidence that on this podcast,

We talk about revealing all like this for us is one of the ways that we kind of stumbled on as well during COVID,

The beginning of COVID.

I pushed you a little bit.

Yeah.

And for me,

It's very inspiring to keep on getting both in conversation with the people we meet and in the reviews and in the letters that we receive.

So it keeps us going.

So please continue sending them to monicaandmichaelatkabala.

Com.

And we hope that you received some inspiration from what we recorded today,

What we shared today.

We hope you enjoyed listening to this podcast as much as we enjoyed recording it.

Am I,

Michael.

We hope you received a lot of inspiration from this podcast today.

Thanks for joining us.

Bye.

Bye.