The Gift Of Presence: Softening Into Our Wholeness

It's an interesting time that we live in and can be very challenging.

Tomorrow,

As many of you know,

Is the solstice,

The winter solstice,

The longest and darkest night of the year.

And historically,

There were many celebrations around this time of year,

And still are.

And there's a lot of beauty in that,

Coming together to celebrate and remind each other of the love and light and connection that we have to each other and to the world at times when things can seem their darkest.

Nowadays we have electricity,

And so we aren't as dependent on or connected to the natural cycles of the world.

But it is important to check in and be aware that even though we might not always be aware of it,

There are these cycles that are always occurring and that we are connected to and affected by.

When we are aware of the cycles,

We can work with them more consciously.

We can bring more presence into each moment,

Into each transition,

And find the beauty that is always there.

I'd like to share a quote that many of you have probably heard before,

And I couldn't find the originator of the quote.

It's been attributed to a couple of different people,

And I cannot say with certainty who originated it.

The earliest I found was Alice Morse Earl in the early 1900s,

But it's also been attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt.

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

And today,

Today is a gift.

That's why we call it the present.

There's a lot of wisdom in this,

And although we don't often think about it,

There is etymologically a very close relationship between presence,

Being present to each other,

And giving gifts,

Giving presence to others.

When we give a gift to someone,

We are acknowledging our love and gratitude for their presence in our life.

That their presence,

Their very being,

Is in itself a gift to us for the way it enriches our lives,

For what we learn from them,

For how we grow and change.

To be fully present is to experience this felt sense of connection with others,

And that is most important in the most difficult times,

Which is also when it can be more challenging.

And so having rituals of giving gifts to others at the darkest time of year is a way to bring forth the light that is always there within the darkness.

I'm not sure if all of you are familiar with the history of Christmas,

And that the date of December 25th for celebrating the birth of Jesus wasn't selected until somewhere around the fourth century.

And part of the reason they chose this date was because there were already many traditions,

Pagan traditions and others,

Of celebrating around the solstice.

And so they chose that date as a way of incorporating and trying to bring together others and bring them into the tradition of Christianity.

And it's interesting because it's celebrating the birth of the Son of God,

But the winter solstice is celebrating the birth of the sun in the sky.

It's when the sun begins to grow and have longer days from this point forward.

And this is part of the cycle of life,

Is the movement between light and dark,

And how we need both to appreciate the fullness of life and the complexity of life.

It's through embracing and opening to the darkness that we find the light within.

Being human,

We all have aspects that are darker within ourselves.

Sometimes those are more apparent,

Sometimes they're pushed down deep.

And we learn,

Many of us from the time that we're little,

To push down and repress those aspects.

But in doing so,

We also end up repressing the light,

Because we cannot selectively repress aspects of self.

And it's through opening to and acknowledging those aspects within ourselves,

With compassion,

With understanding that we are not perfect,

That we have so much more growth to do,

That we incorporate them and they no longer unconsciously motivate us.

Instead we can acknowledge them when they arise within our consciousness,

Without acting from them.

Just realizing that it's part of the fullness of being human.

It's part of the fullness of life.

When we bring presence to the fullness of our being,

We're able to bring more of ourselves forth into the world,

To share with others.

In my experience and perspective,

This is one of the greatest gifts that we can give to others,

And to the world,

To bring forth the fullness of our being.

To share that,

To let others see us fully.

I'll share a quote from the Gospel of Thomas.

Jesus said,

If you bring forth what is within you,

What you bring forth will save you.

If you do not bring forth what is within you,

What you do not bring forth will destroy you.

And I believe that Jesus was referring to this very thing,

That when we bring forth the fullness of our being,

It is a gift to others in the world,

And a gift to ourselves,

But it saves us because it takes us deeper into the meaning of life,

And the fullness of life.

We begin to see life from a broader perspective.

If we do not bring forth that which is within us,

If we do not bring forth the fullness of our being,

It ends up destroying us from within,

Because when we don't bring forth that fullness of ourselves,

We end up shutting down.

We close off ourselves,

And we close off our connection to others and the world around us,

And we miss out on the meaning and the beauty of life.

And as with most things,

This is not either-or,

On or off,

It's a spectrum.

And ideally,

We can move towards bringing more and more of the fullness of ourselves to share with others,

To share with family and loved ones,

To share with our community,

To share with the world.

In the last couple of classes,

I've talked about letting go of unnecessary suffering and letting go of resistance.

Those topics tie directly into this idea,

Because in order to bring forth more of ourselves,

We need to stop resisting ourselves.

We need to stop resisting our experiences and all that's occurring.

We need to allow ourselves to soften and surrender into the natural flow of life.

In order to do so,

We have to allow aspects of ourselves to die,

To pass away.

We need to let go of holding onto rarefied concepts of our self-identity,

And that can be very challenging.

But as we do so,

It's what creates the space for new aspects to be born and brought forth from within us.

This is part of what we can learn through observing the cycles of life and of nature.

In essence,

The winter solstice is metaphorically a death.

It's the darkest night of the year.

It's the end of a cycle.

But it's also a birth and the beginning of a new cycle,

The beginning of a new year.

And this corresponds to the cycles of the moon and the daily cycles of the sun.

So if we watch the cycles of the moon,

We see that there's the new moon,

And then the first quarter moon,

The full moon,

The third quarter moon,

And then it comes back to the new moon.

And this is related to the cycles of the year of the new moon is the equivalent of the winter solstice,

And the full moon is the equivalent of the summer solstice,

The peak time of energy and light.

In the daily cycle,

This corresponds to the middle of the night would be the equivalent of the new moon or the winter solstice.

Dawn would be equivalent of spring equinox and the first quarter moon.

The middle of the day would be the full moon or the summer solstice.

And then dusk would be the third quarter moon or fall,

The fall equinox.

And so in this sense,

Each night,

We have a metaphorical death.

And each morning,

We are born anew.

Each month with the lunar cycle,

We have a metaphorical death.

And each month we are born anew.

And then of course,

Same with the yearly cycle.

So this time of the winter solstice is a time for really letting go and moving deeply inwardly to then bring forth all that we can for the year to come.

We see the cycle with trees when we observe nature.

Deciduous trees at the winter solstice and through winter,

Their energy is deeply inward in the trunk and down in the roots.

Spring comes around and they begin to move that energy out from the core in the center and they start to bud and leaves start to appear.

And then at the summer solstice and the height of summer,

They're at their fullest,

Most expansive state.

And then as it moves towards fall,

They start to lose their leaves and the energy starts to move inward into winter.

And then it begins to start the cycle over again.

And through this yearly cycle,

We see how a tree will grow and change.

And each spring and summer,

When it reaches those points,

It's not the same tree that it was the year before at that time.

And the same applies to us.

We are not who we were a year ago or 10 years ago.

And who are we becoming?

Tomorrow is a mystery.

It's opening to that unknown and letting go of the things we've been holding on to so that we can move forward into that unknown,

Into that mystery,

That adventure of life with as much presence as we are able.

As I said at the beginning,

These are challenging times for many of us.

And times of challenge and turmoil are associated with the darkness.

And at times,

The darkness can feel overwhelming.

It can feel as though we don't know how we're going to move forward.

But it's always darkest before the dawn.

When we hit that depth of darkness,

Within that darkness,

There's already the seed of light.

And if we can learn to attune to that and focus on it,

That light will continue to grow from within that darkness,

And it will spread,

And it will bring forth so much new life,

So much insight,

Compassion,

And wisdom,

And love.

But the work is to stay present,

To not try to run away or get away from it,

But to stay fully present within ourselves,

To let ourselves fully experience the darkness.

And from that place,

We will find the light.

In different spiritual traditions,

They'll sometimes refer to the dark night of the soul.

And this is when a person reaches a critical point in their spiritual growth,

And they have a form of existential crisis.

And it's extremely challenging,

And one can feel lost and overwhelmed and confused.

But the dark night of the soul often gives birth to a whole new period of incredible spiritual growth and understanding.

Another phrase that I've heard that references this is the idea that the breakdown leads to the breakthrough.

This is a powerful time.

It's an incredible opportunity to deepen our relationship to ourselves and to others.

But first,

We must go deeply inward.

As I said earlier,

Now we have electricity and lights,

And so we are sometimes less connected to these annual cycles.

But with practice,

We can attune to it,

And it will transform us.

This can be difficult,

Particularly in modern society,

Because so many of our cultural conditioning and habits gears us to externalize our consciousness,

To always be aware of what's happening out in the world.

And at the winter solstice,

We need to be most inwardly,

To take advantage of this energy,

To be able to sit with the quiet and the dark,

Patiently awaiting the light.

If you will,

Please find a comfortable and stable posture for meditative practice.

Make sure that your body is supported in ways that allow you to release any unnecessary tension.

Bring awareness to the movement of the breath.

Simply observing as it flows in and out,

Maybe long or short,

Shallow or deep,

Choppy or smooth.

Simply observe it as it is.

Continue observing the movement of the breath as you begin abdominal breathing,

With each inhalation allowing the abdomen to gently expand,

With each exhalation allowing the abdomen to gently contract,

Keeping the chest and shoulders relaxed and still.

It doesn't have to be a deep breath.

Now,

Bring awareness to the area of the lower dantian,

The energetic center,

Two to three inches below the umbilicus in the center of the lower abdomen.

Focus your awareness within this physical space of the body,

Observing any sensations that may arise.

Maybe attention or fullness,

Emptiness,

Warmth.

Whatever you might experience as you direct your awareness to this place,

Simply observe it and allow it to be as it is.

As you direct your awareness to this place.

Continue focusing the awareness in the lower dantian,

The core of your being,

The deepest place within you,

From which all life arises.

As you continue focusing the awareness in the lower dantian,

Become aware of a stillness within.

Focus on the stillness.

Now,

Visualize a pinprick of light.

In the center of the lower dantian,

A light within the stillness.

As you focus your awareness on the light,

Allow it to grow.

Expanding.

When it has completely filled the lower dantian,

Allow your awareness to rest in this light.

If you notice any areas of tension or resistance in the body,

Allow them to soften.

And surrender to this light in the lower dantian.

Now,

Allow this light to begin to expand,

Moving out from the lower dantian in all directions.

Allow it to flow out down through the hips and legs,

All the way down to the bottoms of the feet.

Allow it to expand up,

Filling the abdomen and the torso,

The chest,

Out through both arms,

All the way down to the palms of the hands.

Moving up from the chest through the neck,

Filling the head.

Feel your body filled with light and rest in the felt sense of your body as youás Feel the stillness and the light.

Now,

Imagine the lower Dantian is like a magnet.

Feel it drawing all of the light back to itself,

Like the pole of Earth's gravity.

Feel all of the light condensing in the space of the lower Dantian.

Know that it is always here within you,

Your own miniature sun,

Source of all life.

Become aware of the stability beneath you.

Feel the force of gravity.

As your body rests on this stability,

Feel how supported you are.

Soften into the felt sense of the body as a whole.

Soften into the experience of the air around you,

In which you are immersed like a fish in water.

When you are ready,

Maintain a grounding in the stillness and light.

As you gently and slowly begin to open your eyes,

Taking in the world around you,

Anew,

As if for the first time.

In Sufism,

There is a saying,

Die before you die.

And one meaning of this is this concept of allowing aspects of who we were and who we thought we were to pass away,

To let go of reified constructs of the ego.

As we do so,

We begin to be born anew each day,

Each year,

Each moment.

Birth and death are very intimately intertwined and connected.

It's part of the impermanence of the world,

Of this material reality that everything continually changes.

Hermann Hesse,

The author,

Wrote something in one of his books to the effect that something must die for something new to be born.

And there is this continual changing over that occurs,

Whether we want it to or not.

But as we learn to soften into the flow of life,

And we let go of holding on to reified constructs of who we think we are,

We find this beauty that is always already right here.

We become more fully present and are able to share the gift of our being with the world.

I'll end with a quote from the Dalai Lama,

Which mirrors the quote from the beginning.

There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.

One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow.

So today is the right day to love,

Believe,

Do,

And mostly live.

Thank you all for joining me today.