Life's Sacred Design; A Gentle Talk To Open Your Heart

My goodness,

I want to talk a little bit about life's sacred design and to take a moment and really invite ourselves to ask the question,

What is really going on here?

I mean,

Here we are living our lives and living out these stories of who we think we are and where we think we're going,

What we think is important.

And if I ask myself,

What is this all really about,

This life and being human thing,

So obviously what I see that it's not about is me and who I think I am and what I think mostly is important to me,

And I'm really speaking to these superficial things,

Because if I ask what has been the most impactful thing in my life,

You know,

It's never these things about having a big fancy house or living next to the beach or having this,

That,

And the other.

The things that are the most impactful are my capacity to love and connect with other human beings.

And this capacity to love is birthed through an insight discovered through an inward journey of getting out of my own way and seeing beyond the barriers that I have that limit the flow of love.

And of course this is why I so appreciate the work that I get to do,

Because as I prepare to share,

It forces me to look inward and investigate what I think is going on.

And it's so wild to look at the struggles that I have,

The humanness that I go through,

And I see how I make things way more difficult than they need to be.

And there's this aspect of being human that is so determined to defend,

Protect,

And to judge,

And to condemn.

And all of these things are just barriers that limit what life is trying to show me.

And it's so obvious to me,

And I wonder,

And I assume,

Right,

I assume it's the same for you,

But I also wonder,

But isn't it wild how we're always brought back to this sort of softness that just invites us to let go of all the nonsense and just open our heart to love,

Even though it's scary sometimes,

Even though it seems dangerous,

Even though it doesn't make sense to the mind?

Somehow,

Someway,

We're just invited to drop all the resentments,

To let go of the unforgiveness.

And there's this sweetness that I often feel inside where the only thing that I have to say in this life is that I'm sorry and I love you,

Because this seems like the conclusion of all of the conflict and drama that I might ever experience,

Whether that's with myself or with another human being.

It seems like the fundamental conclusion is that I get scared sometimes,

And in being scared,

I get defensive,

And I withhold love,

And I destroy the opportunity for deep connection.

It is because I get scared,

And that's completely understandable.

And when I take a moment to look behind that fear,

Not only do I realize that everything's actually okay,

But I also realize that I just deeply love you and I appreciate you.

Again,

Whether talking to myself or whether talking to another,

And this is also something that I find so fascinating,

Is that there's this reflection in dealing with others where I'm always shown the relationship that I have with myself.

It's like it's always a mirror that invites me to get more honest with myself about how I'm relating with myself,

And all of my interactions with other people help me on that path,

Help me on that journey,

Because isn't it so true that whatever your experience with other people,

It just shines a spotlight on what's going on inside of yourself with yourself?

And for me,

This is part of that sacred design.

When it becomes so obvious that this is happening,

It shows me in some way that I am on a journey of healing the relationship that I have with myself,

Because that's the thing that makes it so problematic,

Is this experience of,

Let's just call it a poor quality of relationship,

Where I see myself in a way of not being enough,

In a way of being inadequate,

In a way of being unlovable,

In a way of being a failure,

And to see myself in such ways creates such a cage,

It creates such a hard shell that closes down my heart and makes it difficult to connect with life and other human beings.

And if that's the fundamental thing that I crave,

Is to feel connected,

Is to experience that love and appreciation,

Then it's so obvious that the pathway to open up to that is to bring a gentleness and a softness and a love,

Forgiveness in the way that I relate to myself.

And you know,

It's so beautiful because it invites me into this humility where I can just stop pretending.

Isn't it so obvious that something that seems to block the openness is a facade or pretending that's trying to maintain this image of who I think I'm supposed to be?

Maintain this image of someone that looks a certain way,

That acts a certain way that I hope will some way lead to being accepted,

Lead to being loved,

But yet I'm presenting this sort of false version of myself in hopes of getting those things.

So this is the twisted part where I'm presenting this character of who I think I'm supposed to be.

And then even if it gives love or acceptance,

That which is being loved or accepted isn't really who I am.

And it's wild because it shows me that if I'm going to connect with the real thing,

Which is to receive genuine love and acceptance,

The only way I can do that is to truly be as I am.

Which is interesting because to genuinely allow myself to be what I am is like a great act of love and acceptance from myself to myself.

Isn't that interesting?

And this really speaks to the dilemma we have on our human journey where the more we want to receive it from the outside,

The more we have to pretend to be what we think the outside wants us to be in order to get the thing.

And the more we pretend to be something we're not,

The more we are judging and condemning what we authentically are.

This makes it so obvious that the reality of what I crave,

The real heart of the matter in what I crave,

Can truly only be given from myself and to myself.

And I just know that this is the same for you.

And especially,

You know,

If you're in this room watching this,

You've seen this to some degree that there's an exhaustion in trying to be something that you're not in hopes of getting something from other people or the world.

And whatever it is that we seem to capture is so insecure and fleeting.

And you know,

There's the classic comedy in this where you see this in romantic relationships where,

And I guess this is the classic story,

And it can go both ways,

But the guy pretends to be who he thinks the girl wants him to be so that he can get the girl's love and attention.

But if he gets it,

Then he has to keep pretending to be that in order to hold on to it,

Which means he gets further and further away from his authentic nature as he keeps pretending.

So he gets more and more disconnected from himself as he holds up this facade.

And of course,

This just leads to all manner of resentments.

I mean,

You get so bottled up inside.

And this can,

You know,

Happen in many different ways,

Even in relationship or even in a job or whatever.

Whenever you're seeking something on the outside,

You'll find this trap that asks you to pretend to be something you're not in order to hold on to it.

But yet,

Fundamentally,

There's this inner crying out that says,

I wish I could just be as I am.

Like,

I wish I was enough as I am.

But of course,

The dilemma is,

If you want to hold on to that something on the outside,

It's simply not safe to be what you are.

And you really can't even hold on to it.

I mean,

It's like we're,

We're trapped in an illusion of holding on to it.

Because the love and acceptance that we think we're getting isn't a real love and acceptance.

It's the illusion of it.

And it really,

Again,

As it relates to the design,

Is showing me that this is all about the relationship that I have with myself.

And this whole journey,

I mean,

From birth till death,

Is a training ground for me to learn what love really is,

And to see where love really is.

And what I see is that love that I crave,

In so many ways,

Is asking me to discover a love for the raw reality of what I am.

And as I do,

I also discover a love for the raw reality of life,

Which includes a love for the raw reality of human beings.

I mean,

Look at this insanity of conditional love.

And this is the favorite game of the ego that says,

I'll love you if,

Whether it's saying it to yourself,

Or whether it's saying it to other people.

Like,

If only you were how I want you to be,

Then I would love you,

Which is saying don't be what you are.

And behind all of that noise is this profound acceptance for the way things are,

And for the way people are.

I was writing this morning about this illusion of knowing.

It's like the more you think you know,

The more you get trapped in this space of judgment.

And yet what you think you know is such a tiny sliver of the big picture.

Such a tiny aspect.

And the bigger you see,

You can't help but have more compassion,

Which is simply an extension of love.

Right?

Like,

As I talk to these locals in the Philippines,

And hear stories about their poverty,

You know,

Like on the surface,

Before you see the big picture,

It's kind of easy to judge them.

Or even like with a homeless person.

But the more you hear their story,

Where they came from,

Their culture,

Even generations,

Everything starts to make perfect sense.

Of course,

This is your struggle.

Of course,

This is what it looks like for you.

It just makes sense.

Because you see,

An individual isn't an individual.

People are not separate from everything else.

Even somebody who acts out violently.

It's like,

People don't move of their own accord.

There are way too many variables at play.

Things that you can't even see.

And if you were able to see it all,

Your heart would just drop with compassion.

There would be a profound sense of understanding that of course,

This is the way it is.

And amidst that,

It's so obvious that everyone is doing the best that they can,

Given the journey that they've traveled.

And is that not also true for you?

I mean,

We can look at ourselves and again,

See a tiny fraction,

And then judge that fraction.

And completely disregard the totality of your human experience.

Like whatever your struggle might be,

Can you see that if you were to see the bigger picture,

Of course,

Of course,

That's the way it is.

That's the way it is.

And even the people we judge in our lives,

Like one of the best examples of this is our parents.

If you could see the totality of their experience of their journey,

Even generationally,

Then how they move and how they function makes sense.

There's a forgiveness that emerges.

Isn't this wild?

Isn't this wild that the more truth you see,

The natural consequence is more love,

Compassion,

And freedom.

And this makes me want to cry just saying those words because it really exposes the sacredness of this whole thing.

It really exposes the underlying message found in all flavors of spirituality,

That underneath there's been this attempt to communicate an invitation to see more of what's true,

Which is to see more of the big picture.

And the more you see that,

You cannot help but release from within what you are more love,

Compassion,

And freedom.

And isn't that the fundamental thing that we crave?

Beyond all the superficial and the surface level stuff that we think we want,

That we think is so important,

What does your soul crave?

Can it not be summed up in love,

Compassion,

And freedom?

And how beautiful is it that love,

Compassion,

And freedom,

The things that you want most,

Are simply an extension of the truth of life?

It's so wild.

It tells me that the truth of life is the most important thing.

And it's so funny because I can get lost in these narratives that think there's something more important than that.

Which is also like saying,

Thinking that there's something more important than the present moment,

Because the truth of life is only found in the present moment.

The truth of life is found in what's real.

What is real is the truth of life.

And what is real is only real right now,

Because right now is real.

And comically,

The disaster of being human,

Which is in one way having the opposite of what I crave,

I'm so clearly not here and now.

I'm so clearly not prioritizing the truth of life.

I'm prioritizing the imagined character of who I think I am that's trying to find something in the future to give me some sort of illusion.

An illusion I can keep hiding behind.

It's so impossible.

And it's so exhausting.

And when I find myself in that place of exhaustion,

There's only this beautiful invitation to surrender the life that I think I'm living,

To surrender who I think I am,

Where I think I'm going,

And just come home.

Again,

A profound humility.

A profound humility that is willing to admit how much I don't know,

And how much I possibly don't see.

Rather than pretending that I know,

Pretending that I'm certain,

Pretending that I know how things should be,

Pretending that I know who's right and who's wrong,

This is all just pretending,

Because I don't really know those things.

Again,

As it relates to the truth,

Is it true that I know?

At best,

All I can say is that from where I'm standing,

This is what it seems like,

But I don't really know.

And that's the thing that always gets me in trouble,

Is thinking that I know.

Thinking that I know something is good,

Thinking that I know something is bad,

Thinking that I know that it should be like this and not like that.

I don't really know that.

But what seems to be obvious,

As it relates to this miracle that we're swimming in,

It seems obvious that life knows what it's doing.

Not as it relates to me protecting my ego.

Clearly,

Life isn't concerned about that.

Life isn't concerned about me being better than someone else.

Life isn't concerned about me satisfying some imaginary inadequacy that I have.

Life is concerned with life being life.

And so life does whatever it needs to do in order for life to continue being life.

And that clearly isn't about who I think that I am.

Which is what inspires a sort of devotion to be an instrument for life.

Like,

Dear God,

Use me.

Right?

Like,

I'm so obviously not here to serve who I think I am.

That goes nowhere.

What you've created is amazing.

This thing that we call life.

And it's so obvious that within me is a,

Let's just say,

Love that can be used to support life,

That can be used to help fulfill an underlying purpose.

Right?

Because again,

For the human experience,

It seems there's a fundamental opportunity to get in touch with the truth of life,

Which is to see more deeply the bigger picture.

And to see a deeper truth to what you are,

Which ultimately connects you to what you want.

Which ultimately,

Dramatically increases the quality of your lived experience.

If that's the case for all human beings,

Then it seems like the highest service that I could have is to love on all human beings.

Which is like inviting them to see the truth of their own beauty.

And I can't do that if I'm lost in my own nonsense.

Right?

I'm doing the opposite of that.

And so life takes me on this journey to effectively heal my own perception.

And then as this is done,

Then there is a love released from within what I am into the world.

And my God,

What a form of service.

And it's not even necessarily something that you try to do,

Because as you clean up those barriers in your own life,

Then this love pours out of you.

And this is important.

This is important to recognize that it's not something that you have to try to do.

It's so innately a part of what you are to love.

And this is obvious as you look behind all the noise.

It's your natural state of being to love.

It's the natural state of what you are.

And what we've done is we've just put nonsense on top.

You know,

Through our conditioning.

Again,

It's not necessarily something you've done.

We were born into a confusion.

And we have an opportunity to clarify that confusion to restore the flow of love.

And every human being has this opportunity.

And it's so brilliant how the path that every human being travels is in some form the same path where we essentially explore a path of darkness,

Where we think love is missing.

And we shine our light to expose a love that's been there the whole time.

And then we share that love.

And the path we've traveled,

We can find other people who have traveled a similar path.

And we can show them,

Hey,

There's love here.

There's truth here.

Which of course invites them to see the love.

And for me,

That's the whole design.

It's love's expansion.

That's what this whole thing is about.

My God.

Maybe in a religious context,

You could say it's about the love of God.

It's what this whole thing is about.

At least from the human perspective.

And again,

So wild that I would forget that.

So understandable that I would forget that.

And it's so hilarious to me that my painful struggle is the forgetting of that.

That I am lost in my dream,

Which is the same as being lost in my ego,

Thinking it's about me.

Being afraid of not getting what I think I want.

It's so funny that what I think I want is really just another way for me to hide.

Another way for me to keep pretending.

And there's a deeper truth that says I don't know what I want.

I can't trust the mind in thinking it knows what I want.

Because I've played that game too many times.

Thinking I know what I want.

And the only thing that I come back to is a place that's on my knees that tells life.

I just want you.

I just want what's true.

Help me let go.

Help me remember.

Help me see what I already am.

What I already am.

And yes,

We will get lost.

That's part of it.

That's how we learn.

Of course,

It presents such an opportunity to invite forgiveness.

And see the adorableness in our human that thinks it knows something.

Life is so much bigger than what we think we know.

Thanks for joining me today.