The Heroines Journey Part 5: Crossing The Threshold

Welcome everyone.

For those of you who are new,

My name is Marcella Friel and I am a food and forgiveness mentor who helps health conscious women heal the spiritual roots of yo-yo dieting,

Binge eating,

Sugar addiction,

And body shaming.

So just give me a thumbs up,

Give me a heart if I'm talking to the right people here,

Gentlemen,

Ladies.

Yeah,

Just let me know if if you're in my tribe.

And I am doing a series.

Yes.

Okay,

Great.

I'm doing a series here on Insight Timer on the stages of the heroine's journey.

And this is the foundational curriculum in a program that I lead called the Women Food and Forgiveness Academy.

It's a one year intensive program.

And again,

It's about healing all the things that I just mentioned.

So now here we are at stage five,

Which is crossing the threshold.

Crossing the threshold is the point at which we go from contemplating our situation and thinking about it to actually taking action.

So this is jumping the proverbial broomstick.

This is leaping out of the airplane and hoping that your parachute opens.

This is the time when you are taking action.

The crossing of the threshold in the 12 step process,

Which I've been part of for,

Gosh,

Three,

Close to three decades.

The crossing the threshold is very akin to step three,

Which is made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

So this is the God of your understanding is the way that it's referred to in the 12 step world.

So when we cross the threshold,

We make a decision and we commit ourselves to a path going forward where we can't really predict what's going to happen.

We don't really know.

What Joseph Campbell says about this stage is that we are being led beyond our personal will.

Okay,

I see some hearts floating up here on the side.

We are being led beyond our personal will.

So what does that mean?

Going back to step three,

Thinking about our will and our life,

What is that?

Our will is anything we think and anything we believe.

It is an act of will to believe anything.

So if you are holding a belief about yourself,

Like I'm never going to be good enough or I can't,

That's not truth.

That's not fact.

That's a decision that you might have made somewhere along the line years ago in response to some adverse event.

But it's a decision nonetheless.

It's an act of will to believe anything.

So there's our thoughts and our beliefs and then the behaviors that come out of that.

All of that is under the umbrella of will.

Then we have our life.

And what is our life?

Our life is everything that out pictures from that,

All the results of that,

Everything that flows out.

So,

You know,

If you're in a chronic battle of wills with your daughter,

Okay,

Or if you had this wonderful marriage or your health is doing great or your health is not so great,

All of these circumstances that we encounter in our lives are the result of our will.

The threshold that she is crossing is that she is surrendering her personal will to the God of her understanding,

Which in secular terms we could say her deeper wisdom,

Her inner knowing,

Her super conscious mind.

She is choosing to let go of everything she thinks she knows about herself and her life and what is possible.

And she is stepping,

Jumping the broomstick,

Crossing the threshold into a greater field of possibility.

Okay,

So I want to stop there for a moment and I'm seeing some things in the chat and I want to read those out.

I'm very curious to hear from you what is resonating for you in what I'm saying here.

What is the threshold that you are standing at that you are getting ready to cross?

Aina,

Yes,

Bigger.

Tanya,

I don't have body image or weight concerns,

But I find this work and community helpful for feeling what I need to feel,

Hearing what life is calling me toward,

And strengthening new choices rather than food to support the fear and anxiety that colors my thinking.

Yeah,

Thank you,

Tanya.

Beautiful.

So what is your threshold right now?

It could be something very small.

It could be something very significant.

So the other day,

I hold a weekly group coaching call with the women in my academy and one of my women came to the group and she,

I could just see,

You know,

Her face was getting red and the tears were welling up in her eyes and she just said,

I'm done.

I'm done.

And in this case,

What she was done with was continuing to financially underwrite her marriage.

That she's been married to someone for 17 years and her husband has struggled,

I guess,

With contributing his share to the family financial mandala.

And she's been saying,

Okay,

You know,

I'll take care of it.

I'll take care of it.

I'll take care of it.

I'll take care of it.

And she's been doing that for 17 years and,

You know,

She hit that point where she just can't do it anymore.

At the threshold,

There can be a kind of teetering because on the one hand,

In her case,

You know,

Her spirit knows she's done.

On the other hand,

What's going to happen?

Does this mean my marriage is going to end?

Is he going to be okay?

Or am I going to be okay?

So this is the kind of threshold that I'm talking about here.

Deborah,

I feel that my weight is telling me something different from the number on the scale.

Yes.

It's telling me that I need to let go of the weight of my past.

You are in the right place.

This is what we do.

And my threshold lies precisely in taking that mental step that will allow me to release this physical and emotional weight.

Okay.

You need to let go of the weight of your past.

Perfect.

If you want to say any more specifically about that weight and what that's about,

We can use that to do some tapping.

Okay.

Iaina is saying threshold,

Jobless,

Possible career change with a question mark.

I cannot find a position in any other field yet.

Maybe I am not meant to change,

But I no longer find the fulfillment I desire.

Yes.

So yeah,

The other thing that I wanted to say about the heroine's journey as the way that I have come to understand it is that there are three phases,

Which is break down,

Break out,

And break through.

Yeah.

So what I hear with Deborah and Iaina is precisely like,

You're very clear about the breakdown and you're stepping on the cusp.

You're just about to break out here.

Okay.

Totally resonate with Deborah,

Becky.

That the weight on my body,

The number on the scale is not really the point.

The point is I know that I am holding on to physical weight as a result of holding on to emotional weight.

So there is something that is literally weighing heavy on my soul.

There's something that's weighing heavy in my heart.

Let me know if I'm getting that.

Okay.

Yeah.

Just give me a thumbs up.

Give me some hearts.

Just let me know that that's,

I'm hitting the,

I'm in the neighborhood here.

Okay.

Here's Trish.

Widowed.

Empty nester.

Yes,

Trish.

Hi,

Welcome back.

Lovely to see you again.

Failed relationship and career change these last four years.

I have just let my diet and exercise fall to the waste,

The waste side.

It's,

It's a new month time for a new me.

Okay.

And you got it,

Trish.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah,

Yeah.

And Trish also agrees with Deborah.

Okay.

So this seems to be the direction that we're taking.

Let's do it ladies.

And if anybody else wants to chime in with your particular threshold.

Okay.

And Becky's saying,

And I'm certain that there's a link between the weight and clutter.

Okay.

So the weight and the clutter,

There's a sense of holding on to,

In the case of clutter,

Things that are beyond their usefulness.

They're no longer useful to me,

But I still can't let them go.

This body weight,

Maybe in the past I needed this body weight to protect me,

But I am starting to outgrow this need for my body weight to keep me shielded and safe.

And I'm ready for a different experience.

I'm standing at the threshold ready for a different experience.

Just let me know if I'm hitting it here.

Okay,

Good.

Absolutely.

Great.

Ginger,

Professionally showing up in my authenticity,

Despite it being different than others in my field.

I love that Ginger,

You are such a heroine.

I want to invite everybody look in the mirror and say,

I am a heroine.

I just want to read from Vera.

I have found a strange benefit to my weight problems.

As long as I only have to deal with my weight,

I don't have to think and feel about the really difficult issues.

So I need the courage to face whatever shows up.

That's a great insight,

Vera.

That is called secondary gain,

The hidden benefits of staying stuck and the hidden downsides of letting go.

Tanya,

I shouldn't say I don't have weight concerns,

But at times I struggle with being underweight from the fear.

Okay.

Thank you for witnessing this for me because sometimes I feel like a fraud.

Oh no.

Oh no.

I don't belong.

Part of me knows this isn't true,

But unnoticed some residue of this.

Okay.

So the tapping that we're going to do is about crossing the threshold,

Stepping into the unknown,

Following the truth of my soul,

Letting go of that which no longer serves me and finding the courage for all of this.

Okay.

So I want to invite you,

If you're feeling the kind of heaviness,

The claustrophobia,

The sense of burden of the physical weight,

You know,

The physical clutter,

Becky,

That you mentioned,

I want to invite you to just feel,

To really drop into that feeling of stuckness and just see how that is for you and how heavy does it feel?

And then also tune into your readiness to let it go.

Exciting.

Okay.

Here we go.

So if you're new to tapping,

Just say,

As I say and do as I do,

And please feel free to use your own words if mine don't resonate with you.

Okay.

Even though I am feeling all this weight and Tanya,

I want to invite you to just focus on emotional weight,

You know,

Because you're not really focusing on physical weight.

Okay.

So even though I'm feeling all this weight,

This heavy,

Heavy emotional weight.

Wow.

Okay.

My soul feels heavy and kind of stuck.

Okay.

And this way is showing up in my body as well.

And go ahead and just change the words if that's not true for you.

All this emotional and physical weight.

And everything I have made it mean.

I deeply love and accept myself,

Even with all of this.

Exactly where I am today.

Okay.

Let's tap around the points,

Tapping up on the top of the head.

Mm hmm.

All this heaviness that I feel inside the eyebrow.

My body weight and body heaviness.

Mm hmm.

Good.

Side of the eye.

Feeling heavy in my body.

Good.

Under the eye.

And knowing that the number on the scale is not the whole story.

Mm hmm.

Under the nose.

There is emotional weight that I am carrying as well.

The mouth.

Something really emotionally heavy.

Okay.

Good.

Collarbone.

Maybe it's some residual grief.

Under the arm.

Maybe it's residual anger.

Top of the head.

Maybe it's residual disappointment.

Inside the eyebrow.

Maybe it's residual fear.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

Maybe it's some combination of all of these things.

Okay.

Under the eye.

Whatever it is.

Under the nose.

This emotional and physical weight that I have been carrying.

Mm hmm.

Under the mouth.

I totally acknowledge it.

Collarbone.

I acknowledge how much I have been holding myself down and back.

Mm hmm.

Under the arm.

For whatever reason.

Okay.

Top of the head.

Back up to the top of the head.

I also acknowledge that part of me is ready to let this go.

Mm hmm.

Good.

Yeah.

That's making the decision.

Inside the eyebrow.

Part of me is ready to release this emotional weight.

Side of the eye.

Ready to release this physical weight.

Mm hmm.

Under the eye.

Ready to listen for the truth of what my soul has to tell me.

Okay.

Under the nose.

Ready to cross the threshold into a life of bigger possibilities.

Mm hmm.

Under the mouth.

Okay.

Even though I don't know who I would be if I actually felt better.

Good.

Collarbone.

But I am willing to take the heroine's journey.

Yay.

Good.

Under the arm.

I am willing to explore the possibilities.

Top of the head.

Because the truth is,

I've been carrying all this weight long enough now.

Inside the eyebrow.

And while it's okay for me to continue carrying it,

If that's what I need.

Side of the eye.

It's also okay for me to let it go.

Mm hmm.

Under the eye.

It is okay for me to cross this threshold.

Good.

Under the nose.

It is okay to expand my life and find freedom again.

Good.

Okay.

Under the mouth.

Oh,

I can feel it coming.

Mm hmm.

Great.

Collarbone.

I really wonder what this could look like.

Mm hmm.

Under the arm.

I am very curious to find out.

Okay.

Let's leave it there.

Take a stretch.

Take a drink of water if you've got some water.

Mm hmm.

How is that?

Are there any questions?

Sometimes with tapping,

Most of the time with tapping,

You can feel like a pretty immediate drop.

Sometimes things stay the same.

And there you go.

Sometimes it gets,

You can open a Pandora's box and a lot of emotions can come up.

Exactly,

Deborah.

Exactly.

It feels great,

Becky.

Deborah,

I want to invite you,

If you're feeling very emotional,

If you want to just,

And anybody else who's like maybe having an emotional reaction,

If you want to just place your hands on your heart.

And you know,

This might be the threshold right here is just simply allowing yourself to feel the emotion.

And you're feeling emotion bubbling up.

No release yet.

It will come.

Vera feels wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Good.

Okay.

I'm excited to see what my life will look like.

I can see the underlining issue of not being in community with loved ones when I change.

That's very scary.

I have to feel emotions not to store them.

Okay.

Let's do a quick round right here.

Here we go.

If you're here and you're not feeling this bubbling up of emotion,

Let's just do some,

What do we call it?

When tapping there's borrowed benefit.

If we're tapping for Trish and we're tapping for Deborah,

Even if you're not feeling very emotional right now,

You will still get benefit for whatever it is that you're working with.

So let's just do a quick round here.

Here we go.

Bumping the sides of the hands together.

Even though there's some strong emotions coming up,

When I think about changing my life in this way,

I give myself the space and I give myself the grace to feel everything I need to feel.

Yeah,

It is okay.

It is perfectly natural.

Okay.

Let's add this.

And even though I'm not used to being kind to myself in this way,

I choose to do it anyway.

Okay.

So here,

While we're tapping,

Let's just put a hand on the heart and just tap on the top of the head.

Oh,

This emotion bubbling up.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Inside the eyebrow.

Things that I have not been willing to feel,

Perhaps.

Okay.

Side of the eye.

Maybe these are the emotions that I use the food to stuff down.

Okay.

Under the eye.

Or maybe I go to some other addiction to just stuff them down and make them go away.

Under the mouth.

Okay.

As best I can in this moment,

I am willing to be honest,

Collarbone.

I am willing to be naked in my emotional body.

Under the arm.

I'm willing to just let myself feel whatever it is I'm feeling.

Top of the head.

These emotions are here for some reason.

Okay.

Inside the eyebrow.

They have something to tell me.

Side of the eye.

Some message for me.

Under the eye.

I choose to be curious and listen.

Yeah.

Under the nose.

They could be my threshold guardians.

Right?

Part of the heroin's journey.

Under the mouth.

Yeah.

They could be my guides and my escorts going forward.

Collarbone.

Whatever they are and for whatever reason that they're here.

Under the arm.

I choose to respect them and acknowledge them exactly as they are.

Okay.

Shake it out.

How does that feel?

Take a drink of water.

Feel don't store.

Heavy stuff.

Wow.

Becky's saying heavy stuff.

Aina.

Uh-huh.

Well,

That's interesting that you're saying heavy stuff,

Becky.

When you say that,

It literally makes me think of the clutter.

Heavy stuff.

Mm-hmm.

I like that.

Sally.

Hi,

Sally.

Welcome.

Feel don't store.

Debra.

Okay.

I feel so cozy in myself right now.

Oh,

I love that.

That's so wonderful.

That's precisely the point here,

Debra.

I don't know if it makes sense.

This is why I encourage you women to place your hands on your heart and take a couple of breaths because if you do this for 30 seconds,

It increases your oxytocin,

Which is your bonding hormone.

What you're saying about feeling cozy within yourself is exactly the result of just placing your hands on your heart and holding yourself perhaps in a way that maybe you've never been held like that before.

The comments are flying fast here.

Let me just see.

Energizing.

Shachi.

Yes.

Tanya.

Sadness still coming up.

Yay.

Tanya.

You're a heroine,

Tanya.

Yeah.

Sadness.

Mm-hmm.

Processing all the emotions that came up.

Hey,

Noah.

Noah,

You are such a heroine.

So good.

Emotional and released.

Trish.

Yeah.

Okay.

Grateful for this flow.

Tanya.

Becky.

I feel fear around revisiting residual grief and anger.

Ginger,

Too.

Agree with Becky.

You're a blessing.

Thank you so much.

Oh,

Wonderful,

Debra.

Okay.

So you know what?

If you are feeling fear about revisiting residual grief and anger or something from your past,

This is where you get to take a step back on the heroine's journey path and go to your mentor.

You don't have to do it alone.

This is a really important piece of healing all together,

But especially on this path.

You can lean on Marcella.

You can send me a message.

And of course,

There's a lot of,

My gosh,

Insight Timer is like a whole universe,

Right,

Of support.

Okay.

Vera.

Dark memories came up,

But I can handle them.

I feel them and feel protected at the same time.

You're jumping a few steps ahead on the heroine's journey.

How does the threshold look to you now?

What I'm getting from most of you is that the threshold is an inner threshold.

Okay.

Not as high,

Lighter.

Mm-hmm.

Beautiful.

And maybe still emotional.

The emotions are going to come along.

This whole journey is precisely about revisiting those old feelings of grief and fear and anger and disappointment and frustration and betrayal and all the rest of it.

But we're not doing it from the place of being that helpless victim.

We're coming at it,

Revisiting it through the place of being an empowered heroine.

Sally's feeling calmer.

Wonderful.

Not as scary.

Good.

Lighter and not so scary.

Yay,

Ladies.

Wow.

Vera,

I'm a heroine.

Yes,

You are.

Yeah.

Okay.

You see your threshold as imagining in a new dynamic in a relationship.

Great.

Let's do one more round very quickly,

And then we'll wrap up for the day.

Let's go right up to the top of the head.

I am ready to cross the threshold.

Good.

Ah,

I am ready to cross the threshold.

Okay.

That was inside the eyebrows,

Side of the eye.

I am ready to leave my painful story behind.

Under the eye.

I am ready to step into new territory.

Under the nose.

I am ready to be supported as I move forward.

Under the mouth.

I don't have to do this alone.

Collarbone.

I have held on to my painful past long enough now.

Good.

Under the arm.

And even though I have no idea what the future holds,

Top of the head,

When do I ever know?

Inside the eyebrow.

And even though I might doubt myself,

Side of the eye.

The truth is,

I have everything I need to move forward.

Good.

Under the eye.

I have everything I need to change these patterns and cross this threshold.

Under the nose.

I am excited for the adventure that awaits me.

Yay.

Under the mouth.

I am a heroine among heroines.

Yay.

Collarbone.

And I am worthy of all the hard parts of this journey,

Right?

Like I am worth this adventure.

Good.

Under the arm.

And I really love and appreciate myself for all of my courage.

All right,

Women.

How was that?

Final thoughts before we adjourn here.

Okay,

I see those hearts ballooning up.

Okay,

Ladies,

I want to invite you to chat me one last thing.

Okay,

So now you have crossed the threshold.

Much better,

Noah.

Sally,

Heroine among heroines.

That's right.

We don't have to be.

.

.

We can be unique,

But we don't have to be special.

What is an action that you're going to take today?

What is an action that you are going to take today to further yourself across the threshold?

One action that you've already taken is you've showed up for this meeting.

What's something else you're going to do this weekend?

Donate some clutter.

Shachi.

Nice.

I think you and Becky should partner up and become decluttering buddies.

Journaling.

Yeah,

I could make some recommendations about journaling if you're open to that.

I'm going to stay more time with me after this session to feel everything.

Deborah,

You're so beautiful.

Wow.

It's very brave.

Anybody else?

Actions that you are taking today?

Tanya.

Thank you,

Marcella,

And love to all.

It feels very good to be with a group of sister heroines.

Love it.

Okay,

I think that is all for today.

Yep,

We're right at the top of the hour.

I want to be respectful of everybody's time.

Thank you all for your generous donations.

If you didn't get a chance to donate here,

You can also just go to my profile and donate.

I always love to receive them.

Adios.

Go forth.

Enjoy your lives.

Bye for now.