You’re Tired But Can’t Sleep: Tao Meditation For Frustration

Welcome.

This is a guided meditation.

If you are tired of trying to sleep,

This time is just for you.

Nothing to achieve,

Nothing to get right.

If you fall asleep at any point,

That's perfect.

If you don't fall asleep,

That's okay too.

We are simply here to meet what's true in you right now.

You don't have to be calm.

You don't have to feel sleepy.

You are welcome to be here exactly as you are.

So wherever you are,

Let your body find a position that is good enough for now.

Whether it's on your back or on your side,

Whatever feels most supportive.

Let your head rest.

Let your shoulders be supported.

Let your whole body land where it is.

You don't have to hold yourself up anymore.

Let's start with what's actually here.

Take a deep breath in,

And out.

In,

And out.

We can have a sigh together.

Take another deep breath in,

And out.

Maybe you feel frustrated.

Maybe your mind is racing.

Maybe you already tried to sleep,

But nothing worked.

And your mind is saying,

I'm so frustrated.

Why can I just sleep?

What is wrong with me?

I need to sleep now.

If those thoughts are here,

It's okay.

We're not here to argue with it,

And you don't need to push them away.

This is what's here.

Let's take a gentle breath in,

And a slow breath out.

Try to prolong your breath out just a little bit longer.

You might slightly,

Silently say to yourself,

Right now,

It's hard to sleep.

Right now,

I feel frustrated.

Right now,

I just don't know how to fall asleep.

Right now,

I just can't sleep.

And it's okay for all of this to be here.

If you notice how that lands inside of you,

Not trying to get rid of the frustration,

But just letting it be.

It's like a child that's been crying in the other room,

And you open the door and say,

I see you.

I hear you.

You're allowed to be here.

You're allowed to be frustrated,

Or sad,

Or angry.

And if your mind is still racing,

It's okay.

You don't have to slow it down.

Just let it come,

Let it go.

Plans,

To-do list,

Worries,

Memories.

Notice that they are just moving around by themselves.

They come in,

They go.

You're not pushing them.

You're not pulling them either.

They are just like clouds drifting through the night sky.

And you,

The one who notices,

You are the sky itself.

The sky does not argue with the clouds.

The sky doesn't complain that there are too many clouds.

It doesn't tell the clouds,

You need to leave now.

The sky simply just allows all kinds of clouds.

So as your thoughts come,

Let go.

See if you can be more like the sky,

Because you are.

You don't have to like what you feel.

You it already is.

So if you still have the thought that it's so hard to sleep right now,

You can simply say it out loud.

Right now,

It's hard to sleep,

And I don't need to fight that.

And you can repeat this three times.

Right now,

It's hard to sleep.

I don't need to fight that.

See if you can feel how honest that is.

We're not pretending you're sleepy when you are not.

We're not forcing your body to be somewhere it isn't.

We're simply honoring reality as it is.

For now,

Sleep is not here.

But you are here.

Your breath is here.

Your body is here.

And that is enough right now.

So now,

Let your attention slowly drop from your thoughts and down into your body.

Start with your face.

Notice there's your forehead.

You don't have to relax it.

Just become aware of the sensation there.

Is there tightness,

Numbness,

Tingly?

Whatever you find,

Just whisper inside.

You are allowed to be here.

Now,

Bring awareness to your eyes.

You can let them be gently closed or softly resting.

Feel the tiny muscles around your eyes.

If they want to soften,

Let them.

If they don't,

That's okay too.

You are allowed to be here.

Now,

Moving to your jaw.

Notice if you are clenching.

Notice the weight of your tongue in your mouth.

Let the jaw be just 5% softer,

If it wants to,

Without forcing it.

Now,

Drop awareness into your throat.

Any constrictions,

Tightness.

Let your breath gently touch that place.

Inhale through your nose.

Exhale softly through the mouth.

Your body knows what to do.

You don't need to control it.

Now,

Let's scan your inner world and notice what emotions are here with you right now.

How do you feel at this present moment?

Stress?

Frustrated?

Anxious?

Sad?

How do you feel?

You don't have to find the perfect phrase word,

But just to get a sense.

What are the emotions that are present here?

And whatever you feel,

Whatever you sense,

Simply place a gentle hand over your heart and say,

Hello.

Sadness?

Fear?

Frustration?

Anything that is present,

Say hello to it.

And you might also want to add,

I see you.

I feel you.

You are welcome.

You are allowed to be here.

And I'm here for you.

And whatever you feel,

You should gently repeat the following sentence at least for three times.

For example,

I allow myself to be here for you.

To feel sad.

I allow myself to feel sad.

I allow myself to feel sad.

If you need a little bit more time,

You can pause the audio.

Take as long as you need to process this emotion and allow it to be seen,

To be felt,

And pass through.

And then you can come back and continue.

In the Tao,

Nothing is excluded.

Day and night,

Quiet and storm,

All belong,

All has its place.

In the same way,

Every feeling that's here in you tonight belongs to this moment.

We don't have to fix it.

We just need to be seen,

And we just need it to be felt.

So now,

Feel how that lands.

Has anything shifted in your body,

In your emotions?

Your body doesn't need to be forced to relax,

To sleep.

Just like a scared animal,

It needs to feel that you are here with it.

Steady,

Patient,

Not pushing it away.

So let your awareness gently hold your emotions and any sensations in your body.

Just like the way the sky holds the clouds,

The ocean holds the waves.

Nothing rejected,

Nothing corrected,

Just held.

Just like how to learn to play piano,

We also learn how to hold space for ourselves,

How to be there for ourselves.

The more we practice,

The more capacity we have to hold ourselves.

So now,

We move more deeply into physical rest.

Bring your attention to the back of your hand,

Where it touches the pillow.

Feel the contact,

The support.

Imagine the pillow very gently cradling your head as if it's saying,

I've got you.

Now,

Feel the weight of your shoulders resting on the bed or mattresses.

You don't have to drop the weight.

Simply notice it's already here because gravity is doing the work for you.

Allow yourself to be supported and held by gravity.

Bring your awareness to your upper back,

Your shoulder blades,

Your spine.

Imagine the bed is like Mother Earth.

Your whole back body is slowly sinking.

A millimeter deeper and deeper into that soft support.

Now,

Your arms.

Feel the weight in your upper arms,

All the way down to your hands.

Feel the slight heaviness in your fingers.

Let it become a little more still.

Let it drop a little deeper and deeper.

Now,

Bring your attention to your chest.

Notice the rise and fall of your breath.

No need to deepen it.

Just watch it like waves coming to the shore and leaving again.

Each exhale,

Imagine the body is trying to say,

Ah,

I can let go a little.

I can let go a little.

I can let go.

Now,

Your belly.

Notice any tightness,

Any fluttering as you breathe.

Imagine your body softened like a warm sand.

Nothing to hold in,

Nothing to brace against.

Just very gentle,

Warm,

And open.

Let's drop down to your hips,

Your pelvis.

Feel how heavy and grounded they are.

Let's move to your thighs,

Your knees,

Ankles,

And feet.

Notice each part,

One by one.

As if you are slowly turning off the lights in your house at the end of the day.

One by one,

Turn your tongue.

Let it rest.

So from toes to crown,

Your whole body is being invited to be a little softer,

A little heavier,

A little quieter.

Now,

We shift into pure allowing.

Nothing to change,

Nothing to manage.

In the way of Tao,

We do not pull the flower to make it grow.

We don't push the sun to rise faster.

We trust the natural unfolding.

At night,

You don't have to pull on sleep.

You don't have to chase it.

Sleep will come when it comes.

Your only task is to be here.

With what is.

You can simply whisper to yourself,

I allow this moment to be exactly as it is.

I allow my body to be exactly as it is.

I allow my emotions to be exactly as they are.

I allow my thoughts to move as they wish.

I rest as the one who allows.

If the mind tries to argue,

That's not good enough.

I need to sleep.

Just notice that too.

Gently respond,

Thank you.

I know you are trying to sleep.

For now,

We are just going to let it be here.

From here on,

You don't need to follow my words closely.

If you feel yourself drifting,

Let yourself drift.

If you lose track of what I'm saying,

That's perfectly okay.

Your body knows how to rest,

Even without your mind supervising.

If you are still awake,

That's okay too.

You might simply stay here,

Feeling the weight of your body,

The rhythm of your breath.

This is soft allowing.

No fight,

No pushing.

Just be.

And now,

For the last part.

If your mind still feels trapped in a loop,

If your body still feels very restless,

If you start to feel stuck again,

That's okay.

You are not failing.

Your body is simply sending a stronger signal.

In that case,

If you need to,

You can gently open your eyes,

Move slowly,

And take yourself to a hot shower or a hot bath.

Let the water wash off all the stress,

Tension,

Resistance.

Let water wash it all off,

And feel the warmth of the water on your skin.

Let the heat soften your muscles,

And send a clear signal to your body.

I am safe.

I allow myself to rest.

And after that,

You can return to bed,

Knowing that you have cared for yourself,

Both emotionally and physically.

And you never need to be fixed.

You only need to be met by your own gentle awareness.

And tonight,

You have practiced that.

There is nothing more you need to do.

Just breathe,

Be held,

And let this night unfold in its own quiet way.

In the way of Tao,

Nothing is wasted.

Even this restless night belongs to your path.

Thank you for listening.

This is Yue.

May you sink into a loss guided by the Tao,

And let this moment be exactly as it is.

Good night.