In trauma,
Very common qualities are feeling burdened and feeling as I need to endure all the time.
And by qualities,
Those are the states we are living,
Not for a couple days,
Not for a couple of weeks.
These are the states we are living for years and decades.
So I feel burdened and I need to endure.
I'm Anna Maia,
I'm somatic experiencing therapist for PTSD and trauma recovery.
So I'll share with you what do we find when we are coming from the place and the state of this is a burden.
I need to endure.
And how can we open up the gate for healing?
Endurance is not,
When I'm talking about trauma and PTSD,
Endurance is not as I need to endure because I have a race is coming up.
I have to do my 10k or I have to endure something for the short period of time because I will benefit from it.
No,
We are talking about endurance in our bodies who have been experiencing layers of trauma,
Okay,
Including PTSD.
When we endure in trauma,
The qualities,
The main quality in our body is I don't have a choice.
There is no choice.
There is no choice.
I just need to accept what's happening and I need to endure.
And with that,
What's coupled is quality of feeling burdened.
How your body feels that,
So how do we feel this in our Sama,
Shoulders,
Neck,
Back pain.
The qualities will be of I'm moving forward.
I'm leaning over my heart.
So I'm even pressuring and burdening my heart with the weight I feel in my shoulders,
In my back.
So very common,
We can see neck pain,
We can see the back pain,
Difficulties with breathing because the heart is very pressured from the weight above.
And eyes,
Most of the time,
Are looking down.
And you can spot and you can see people on the street who are walking with this quality of a weight on their shoulders.
So what needs to happen?
If you're looking for the experience that wants to happen,
That needs to happen,
Experience that deserves to happen for you,
Number one,
Again,
Pause the track,
You can grab the piece of paper and write that down.
Number one is absence of pressure.
The experience that wants to happen,
If you have been enduring,
If you have been burdened for years,
Is absence of pressure.
So how would that feel?
How would that feel for you?
Would that feel as even in your body,
I'm just lifting my shoulders up,
I'm lifting my gaze from the pavement up into the trees and sky.
So if you find somatic therapist,
This is what you can work on,
Okay?
What's the absence of pressure in a micro-moment for you?
Could that absence of pressure be when you're taking a shower?
In that moment,
Can we bring awareness into that moment?
There is micro-moment of absence of pressure.
When you're driving your car,
Are you really holding a wheel with your hands and with your fingers as you want to break that wheel?
There is absence of pressure.
Relax your fingers,
That's the absence of pressure.
When you're brushing your teeth,
Are you really holding your toothbrush with the pressure?
Or can you relax your fingers?
So we do start very small,
Very small with your body movement and with your awareness.
And then we're moving throughout the time,
So this is a process,
You will move to noticing,
Where can I bring absence of pressure?
With my thoughts,
In relational field,
There is that absence of pressure,
Okay?
Second is absence of responsibility.
One thing we know,
Trauma bodies are experts in taking over responsibility,
Not for self,
For others.
That's number one thing.
People who have a trauma now,
Is to be over-responsible for others now.
So your work would be,
Can I have absence of responsibility for that person and for that person?
Can they take their own responsibility as a fully functioning adults?
We are talking about fully functioning adults,
Okay?
Third,
Absence of guilt.
This is the big one.
Absence of guilt.
Can I take this on me?
Again,
As this is something what I'm responsible for,
Can I go easy on myself and not feel guilty?
Guilt is always coupled with over-responsibility.
The moment we release being over-responsible for others,
We will ease on guilt.
And also,
Having high responsibility or expectations on themselves,
Can I have absence of that?
Okay?
Fourth one is a freedom to do for self.
A choice,
A freedom,
And this is one responsibility you have,
And I would like you to take from this track,
Is I have responsibility to have a freedom to do for self,
Whatever that means.
I have a freedom to do for self.
To follow my dream,
To eat healthy,
To take a nap,
Freedom to sing,
Because this is what I want to do for myself.
So,
That's your exploration,
Okay?
What can I do for myself and feel free?
That's the experience that wants to happen if you have been burdened and if you're enduring,
Okay?
The last one,
The experience that wants to happen is to express,
Okay?
And that means expressing from your innate self.
So,
What would that be?
Can I express my freedom?
Number one,
Can I express my choice?
Can I express by acting on my choice?
Not the big things,
Don't even go to the big things.
In trauma and PTSD recovery,
We always,
We started the small things.
Life is about small things,
Okay?
Can I,
In this moment right now,
Right here,
Express my sadness through humming,
Through rocking my body?
Can I express that for myself and feel the absence of pressure,
Responsibility,
Guilt?
This is how we start,
Okay?
Can I express my silliness,
My goofiness?
And no one needs to see me,
But I will be my goofy self,
Because I want to express this.
I want to lift this burden off my shoulders.
So,
Those are experiments you will work on,
Okay?
And you can go back,
Listen to this track as many times as you need to remind yourself.
From the way how you walk,
How you hold your shoulders,
From that impulse to jump in and take responsibility for someone else who is more than capable to take that responsibility.
When guilt comes in,
Remind yourself,
Just use this word,
Absence of,
Absence of,
Absence of.
The moment the guilt kicks in,
Absence of guilt.
The moment the pressure kicks in,
Absence of pressure.
The moment over-responsibility,
I have to,
Kicks in,
Absence of over-responsibility.
And the choice to be responsible for self.
Absence of,
Absence of,
Absence of.
That's a reminder.
The moment the guilt kicks in,
And the freedom to do something for yourself every day,
And the freedom to express and to have a choice,
Not to endure.
Endurance is,
I don't have a choice.
But to express your choice and to welcome yourself in expressing and following that pulse of your own choice,
Of your own freedom,
Of your own human rights,
Of your own human rights.
I am Annamarie.
Until the next time,
Be gentle with yourself.
Be gentle with yourself.
In one step at a time.
Take care.
