Welcome back to the track number four.
If you haven't listened,
Please go back to the previous tracks.
This is the last one in the sequence from acute grief to healing grace.
Let's begin.
In the previous track,
We talk about sadness and the sacred space of being in the sadness,
And importance of being in grief and sorrow and sadness.
And don't jump out of your sadness.
And don't jump out of it.
And don't let anyone move you out of your sadness,
Your sorrow,
Your grief.
Many times,
Other people are rushing us through grief because of their own discomfort,
Because they don't have capacities inside.
And they don't need to have capacities.
But they cannot rush you through your own grief.
So,
Honor your grief and grieve over your grief if it was not allowed to be acknowledged,
If your grief wasn't allowed to be seen and witnessed,
Or if you were afraid to express your grief because you were afraid how other people will react.
And if other people are afraid to witness your grief and pain,
If they minimize your grief or dismiss it,
Or told you there is a sequence and stage you have to move through in some specific time frame,
If they made you feel embarrassed or judged that you grieve too much or not enough,
If you felt judged that you felt relief with your loss and at the same time grief,
Or if you felt relief and not anything,
Anything,
Please grieve over your grief which was not allowed to be grieved in your way,
In your way,
Based on your biology and based on your loss.
In our culture,
Many times people compare the losses and they feel embarrassed and ashamed if they are grieving something which is not a person,
A human being.
So,
Let me name and say that grief is very real when there is a relationship loss,
Divorce,
Separation,
Breakup,
Group,
Estrangement from family members,
When we grieve in a therapy,
When we realize what was done to us.
We grieve as adults over our childhood,
When we grieve over our lost right to express who we are,
Our sexuality,
Our nationality,
Our language,
Our religion.
We grieve when you're facing diagnosis,
Chronic or terminal illness,
Physical disability,
Or loss of mobility.
We can grieve our mental health challenges.
We can grieve when we retire,
When we move to a new city or country,
When our kids move from our home,
When we lose a job.
You have a right to grieve and to feel grief.
You can grieve changes in your self-identity due to the aging of not belonging.
You can grieve your loss of sense of purpose and direction,
Loss of independence.
Yes,
That's the grief.
That's the grief of not being able to move forward.
That's the grief.
A loss of your home because of disaster,
Wars,
Wars,
Fires.
That's a reality now.
Foreclosures.
You can grieve the loss of your spiritual community,
Of your community.
A loss of religious community,
Cultural community.
You can grieve your unfulfilled life goals,
Inability to have children,
Abandonment of your personal dreams.
Yes,
That's what you are allowed and have to grieve.
You can grieve over experiencing and witnessing violence,
Genocide,
Wars,
Wars,
Witnessing,
Witnessing horrors.
That's my personal grief.
Witnessing horrors in wars,
In displacement.
Displacement.
You can grieve over accidents,
Natural disaster,
Political and social upheaval,
Global,
Global changes in security and safety,
Environment,
Planet Earth.
So grief is not limited only to the loss of a loved one.
You have right to grieve what your body,
Your soul,
Your mind experience as a loss.
And grieving process will make you feel like you are becoming a new person.
It's life-changing.
It will make you feel as a deep reset is happening at a cellular level.
And it does.
Your biochemistry is changing.
And this transformation will give rise to a soft power within you.
Grief will not kill you.
But it will birth and cultivate this soft power,
Grace.
And do not confuse the word soft with being incapable of being.
Incapable or less than.
This soft power that emerges showcases your monumental resiliency you earned in terrible way.
The innate fairness of your story and what you have been through.
And you will stand in your power and in your grace while you keep honoring your loss as you move with the change of life.
As you accept the permanence of your loss and the permanence of change,
Pain will soften.
Let me repeat this.
As you accept the permanence of your loss and the permanence of change,
Pain will soften.
And know that your love will never be forgotten.
This is the last track.
This is the last track of the talk from acute grief to healing grace.
You can go back and listen as many times as your body needs,
As your soul needs to hear.
Go as many times as you need.
The reason this talk is recorded in a small segments,
In a micro bytes,
So your body can receive in a gentle way and not to be over consumed with content.
And when you feel ready,
You can go to track number five,
Which is somatic meditation for grief,
Recovery,
Moving from grief to sorrow,
To sadness,
To healing grace.
Until next time,
Until next time,
I'm Ana Maio,
Somatic Experiencing Therapist for PTSD and Trauma Recovery.
And as always,
Be gentle with yourself.
Be gentle with yourself.
Much love and care.
