Why do I do that?
Have you ever asked yourself this,
But then moved on with your day without answering?
Maybe you even forgot that you asked it.
Why do I always say yes when I mean no?
Why do I apologise when someone else bumps into me?
Why is there always a smile on my face when I tell sad stories?
These questions pop up all the time,
But most of us never sit down and genuinely answer them.
We shrug and move on.
We call it a mystery.
And then,
One day,
Years later,
We find we're still asking the same question.
Today,
I invite you to pause and go deeper.
To treat that question,
Why do I do that,
As a doorway,
Not a dead end.
In this space,
With curiosity and compassion,
We'll begin to trace your patterns back to their origins.
Maybe you take on things you don't want to do,
Because that's how you survived childhood,
Being useful,
Helpful and easy to like.
Maybe you avoid saying no,
Because somewhere along the way,
Saying no made you feel unsafe.
Maybe you smile while telling hard stories,
Because you learned that making others comfortable was more important than your own emotions being seen.
These habits,
They made sense once,
But they may be costing you now.
So let's gently ask,
Why do I do that?
What's underneath that?
And what's underneath that?
You might find answers like,
I do it because I don't want to seem rude.
And then,
Because I feel responsible for things that aren't my fault.
Because I was raised to be agreeable.
And that's because taking the blame felt safer than being rejected.
And ultimately,
Because as a child,
Being good was how I stayed loved.
These layers don't show up all at once.
They emerge when we're willing to sit with them.
And once you see them,
Really see them,
You face a choice.
Will you use this insight to shift how you move through the world?
Or will you tuck it away and return to old patterns of avoidance or overwork,
Distraction or numbing out?
Because here's the truth most people avoid.
We often say we want clarity.
But clarity comes with responsibility.
If I know why I do it,
I can't unknow it.
And that means I either change or I have to admit I'm choosing not to.
But you wouldn't be here if you weren't ready.
And something else I've learned is that when you move through the discomfort of seeing yourself clearly,
There's freedom on the other side.
You've been living these patterns for a long time.
And if they're showing themselves now,
They are ready to be rewritten.
So let's begin.
Grab a journal if you like,
Or just sit quietly.
Ask the question.
Don't rush the answer.
Be gentle and let's see what truth is waiting underneath your why.
