Dealing with your inner critic.
We all have an inner critic,
And often the voice of the inner critic is negative.
It is likely trying to keep us safe,
Keep us from getting mauled by the proverbial tiger in the woods.
These days,
Most of us are not in actual danger of that tiger in the woods,
So we need to learn to manage our inner critic.
One way to do this is to consider where the thoughts are coming from.
Often,
They are coming from a place of fear,
Such as,
I wonder what people will think of me if I do this.
What if I fail?
One truth is that most people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.
Another truth is that we can't control what other people think.
We can control our actions,
So we need to act in accordance with our goals and our values.
Another way to handle the inner critic,
Or negative thoughts in general,
Is to consider three scenarios.
The worst-case scenario,
The best-case scenario,
And the most likely scenario.
This helps because,
One,
We've probably already thought about the worst-case scenario.
Two,
The best-case scenario may be unrealistic.
And three,
We typically realize that the most likely scenario is the most likely,
And that everything will be okay.
This can help us move forward and get ready to take action.
Another way to handle the inner critic is to try the observer method.
Pretend your inner critic is a version of yourself,
Or perhaps your identical twin or a friend.
Imagine that you've invited this person to your home,
And they are now saying the inner critic phrases you hear most often.
These phrases are not helpful,
So you can picture this friend on your couch saying these negative things.
You can now imagine yourself yawning and saying to your friend,
Oh,
I really appreciate you coming to my party,
And I appreciate your concern,
But I'm really tired,
And I think it's time for you to head out.
I hope to see you again soon.
You can be kind,
But let the person know you don't need these negative thoughts,
And they can head out.
The inner critic does not need to be dealt with with anger or contempt.
It is,
In some ways,
A small part of you that wants to keep you safe.
But new things and experiences can seem scary,
So the inner critic likes to keep you small,
In your comfort zone,
And may discourage you from trying new things.
This will not serve you,
So you must compassionately tell that part of you to take a hike.
You can also name your inner critic something that resonates with you.
Examples might be Debbie Downer or Sad Sam.
Using a name like this allows you to potentially inject a little humor and compassion into the situation,
And it also allows you to distance yourself a little from that part of you.
It allows you to be able to get curious and observe where these thoughts are coming from.
There is no need for judgment here,
Just curiosity.
Be an explorer of your thoughts.
Where are these thoughts coming from?
It's probably from a part of you that just wants to keep you still,
Safe,
And stuck.
That's okay,
But you're driving the bus.
You can tell your inner critic you appreciate them driving for a bit of this road trip of life,
But they can take a break,
And now it's your time to drive.
Use an example or a metaphor that resonates with you.
