Loving Kindness Meditation - Relationships(30 Mins) 6.6.22

Hello and welcome.

Thank you so much for joining me here today.

My name is Abby Harmon and I'm a yogi,

Salesforce engineer,

And creator of Consider Volunteering.

Today I'm here with you for a session of loving kindness meditation.

I come with this particular kind of meditation of loving kindness or metta meditation because it is one that I struggle with myself and I want to put more out into the world.

So I view loving kindness meditation as the way in which we flip the negative talk in our minds.

So I know in my experience I've broken myself down a lot with all these negative thoughts about myself and the world around me and so I've used this technique of loving kindness meditation in order to help rewire my brain so to speak in order to make those thoughts more positive on the regular.

So I hope you are ready.

We'll do roughly 30 minutes or so of the traditional style of loving kindness meditation where we will repeat a set of phrases sending them to different groups of people.

So what are the phrases?

So very similar to mantras or visualization.

I've got some mantras that I will use during my time together but please feel free to choose your own whatever feels best in your heart.

But the phrases I use are,

May you be happy,

May you be healthy,

May you be safe,

May you live with ease.

So those are my phrases.

I get them from Sharon Salzberg who I learned this meditation technique from and who I've followed extensively since then.

So those are my phrases but right to see kind of the parameters to them,

What they're like,

What they hold you know for me or for maybe you from your perspective.

So we have these certain phrases and then we will repeat these phrases.

I'm going to say them verbally but for the most part I normally say them in my head to myself.

We will send them to different groups of people.

So I'm going to do it kind of in this traditional manner as I understand it and we will first start by sending these phrases to ourself.

Right we're going to center and send the lovely intentions and the gratitude to ourselves and then we will move on to a friend,

A loved one.

Often times this is my dog.

You know can be kind of this mentor or teacher kind of perspective.

Somebody who you love and who loves you kind of back in whatever way feels meaningful to you.

Then we will transition to a kind of a stranger so to speak.

You know somebody that you would pass on the street and usually not think too much about.

I appreciate Sharon Salzberg perspective of the grocery checker but for me it may be that you know person in the car you know head over behind you on the highway.

So somebody who you don't know well just kind of a member of the public.

Our fourth group is kind of the hardest group sometimes depending on who you are at least sounds the most advantageous is your enemy or somebody who you have a difficult relationship with.

So we will send our loving kindness phrases to the fourth group of our not so friendly person in our lives who maybe we want to change those thoughts around for creating more space.

And last but not least we will send our loving kindness phrases to all beings everywhere.

So encompassing all of us because what I do affects you and vice versa all of this worldly stuff is connected together.

So I appreciate your time right in the next 25 minutes we will hit those phrases to each of our different groups roughly five minutes or so or peace.

So I will repeat them and then fall silent.

So I think what else do we do besides working to begin to find your way into a comfortable seat.

I've always got some water lying around and as we settle into our practice today I'm sitting on the floor on my meditation cushion but I do always enjoy lying down in bed that's why I meditate in the mornings.

And we will start our loving kindness phrases to ourself.

So we'll bring our self to mind maybe letting the eyes fall shut bringing ourselves into our hearts without judgment just holding myself in a tender spot.

The visual I normally use is kind of a smaller me sitting in my lap while the current me sits in the lap of my future self.

So kind of this mother nature like presence but however it means to you we will hold ourselves in our hearts and we will start to repeat our phrases.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

The rhythm of the phrases will come in its own time.

I also find it beautiful when it shifts throughout our practice.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

That tender heart space can be hard to find for oneself but loving ourselves is really the foundation for being able to let your light shine in the world.

I don't love myself first.

In my experience I found this kind of shadow never goes away and with these loving kindness practices repeating my phrases to myself the shadow has grown less.

More vibrant light shows through.

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I live with ease.

No need to fret when the mind wanders.

It's totally natural.

Lightly bring it back to the tender heart space in which you currently hold yourself.

Slowly the phrases take effect.

It's time my friends to shift to our second group of individuals.

Our loved one.

Our teacher.

The person we have easy love in this life.

Letting a true light shine through.

And so we shift our phrases to them.

Holding them in our heart no matter how long it's been since you've spoken.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

My loved ones have taught me so many things in my life.

And it deeply pains me to think that to think that our relationships don't last forever.

But then again sometimes when I change my perspective,

Relationships do last forever.

May not in the physical form but in the energy,

In the love.

It never goes away.

So even if this person only affected you for a short amount of time,

Love was real,

Truly meaningful.

What I find to be the best part of life.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

Feel the warm hug of you around me.

Always.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

It is now time my friends,

We shift to our non-committal person,

Our stranger.

The person we don't normally have many thoughts about but yet still has a place for loving kindness in this world.

Because right,

We all affect each other.

And so having loving kindness for a neighbor,

For the driver in front of you or behind you,

Makes a difference in the world.

And so we practice sending our loving kindness phrases to them.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

You've not found one person,

I say.

A faceless shape is also good because why restrict yourself to one person when there are many people in the public who could use my phrases.

So together,

I claim them and I send them my phrases.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

Sometimes the phrases can feel monotonous.

Well,

They have no impact.

But I disagree.

I believe that science shows that even if we just repeat the phrases with no meaning behind them,

They still take effect.

And so even the smallest percentage of meaning behind them makes a bigger impact.

And so,

As I've often heard through my many meditation podcasts,

The Tibetans sometimes refer to it as getting used to it.

And so when I find in these times where the phrases can feel laissez-faire,

Unmeaningful,

I remember that even through the paradox of life,

On this knife edge of good and bad,

There is this sense of okayness,

This contentness,

This getting used to it.

Because we cannot live at both ends of the spectrum all the time.

I would have ripped us some too.

But we can always hold our intention in our heart and letting these loving kindness phrases live there.

I think it's what changes the world.

It makes a difference.

And so,

To the public,

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

And now my friends,

We shift on to what seems like the scariest,

But I've already almost cried twice.

Sending loving kindness phrases to a person who's a bit more difficult in their life.

Maybe not the most difficult person,

You know,

Maybe we can like take a step back.

For me,

Oftentimes it's work,

You know.

But also,

I don't find it bad if you want to take on that big rock either.

Because no one session is going to change that big rock.

But a million teeny sessions will make some changes.

So who's your difficult person today?

And yet they still deserve our loving kindness phrases.

I think more importantly,

We deserve forgiveness.

So we give them loving kindness phrases for ourselves.

But it also,

You know,

Plant the seed for the next person.

Make the world a better place.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

I think what makes me most frustrated with the difficult people that I've sent my loving kindness phrases to,

Is that there was love at one time.

I guess I use love loosely.

More like a sense of connection.

Or in a small extent,

Right,

I saw the reflection of myself in them.

Right,

I could have been like this person who rottened me,

Or is difficult for me.

And that brings me compassion for them,

But also myself,

Because I know I'm not perfect.

And neither is anybody else.

But we try.

And I think that trying makes a difference.

And so I sit here sometimes through the comfort,

The pain,

And I send my loving kindness phrases to my difficult person.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

I really appreciate your time with me here today,

Friends,

As we round out our loving kindness meditation with our last group of individuals,

Which is all beings everywhere.

So early I mentioned the public,

But now I truly meant all beings.

Every insect,

Every farm animal,

Every pet,

Every blade of grass,

Every flower,

Every tree,

Every molecule there.

Mother Earth herself.

May all beings everywhere be happy,

Be healthy,

Be safe.

May all beings everywhere live with ease.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be healthy.

May all beings be safe.

May all beings live with ease.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be healthy.

May all beings be safe.

May all beings live with ease.

My visualization does often take a round shape with this group.

And I will send a lightness,

Weightlessness into my body.

That's the feeling that I want to take with me off the mat,

Off the cushion.

A light,

Airy scent of a world where love wins.

May all beings be happy.

May all beings be healthy.

May all beings be safe.

May all beings live with ease.

I'm so grateful for you being here today,

Friend.

Together,

We make the world a better place.

Feel free to get out of your meditation in a slow,

Simple way.

Taking just one second to notice the feeling that's left behind.

How do your arms feel?

How are your legs at this moment?

I hope you sense that effortlessness.

You're a beautiful being,

And I'm grateful for you.

Till next time,

May you be happy,

May you be healthy,

May you be safe,

May you live with ease.

Love.

Namaste.