If You Are Having Unproductive Day: Progress Over Perfection

Hello beautiful being,

So today we are going to practice a guided visualization exercise to help you deal with perfectionism.

Begin by finding a comfortable position where your back is straight yet relaxed.

You can pause this lesson if you need more time to find a comfortable position.

Now I invite you to take a few deep breaths with me,

Inhale,

Exhale,

Inhale,

Exhale,

Inhale,

Exhale,

Continue for a few breaths at your own pace.

Now with the next exhale or out-breath,

Gently close your eyes,

Allowing yourself to fully relaxed into this present moment.

Now bring to mind a challenging day,

A day that felt like one of the lowest moments of your life.

Visualize that day in your mind,

See yourself in that moment,

Observe the thoughts that were going through your mind,

The emotions that you felt as a result and how it influenced your actions and interactions with others.

As you inhale,

Imagine that you are gathering all those negative thoughts,

Feelings and experiences into a cloud in front of you and with the out-breath,

Release that cloud allowing it to dissolve into the air.

Let go of any tension or heaviness associated with those challenging moments.

Now let's shift our focus to your best days.

If you haven't had one,

You can imagine your perfect day,

Envision where you would be,

Who you would be with and what activities you would be engaged in.

Imagine every detail from the moment you wake up to the time you fall asleep at night.

Feel the positive emotions that comes with this perfect day.

Now take a moment to reflect on how your ordinary days usually go like.

Think about your typical days like yesterday or today.

How you might have a to-do list written down or in your mind.

Think about your daily activities or who you interact with etc.

Recall instances when something you didn't expect happened and things didn't go as you planned.

Maybe you have had a thought like,

You might have had a thought like,

Why did this happen or why I can't do this,

Now my whole day is ruined.

You see how you ended up labeling this ordinary day as a bad day,

Even if it was due to a small mistake or a little deviation from your plans.

Based on our previous reflection,

We now know that what your bad day looks like,

But this ordinary day was nothing like that,

Right?

But notice how easily we tend to categorize these ordinary days into extremes,

Perceiving them as an unproductive or completely wasted day.

As you breathe in,

Imagine inhaling a sense of clarity and perspective.

Recognize that labeling these days as bad is just a tendency we have,

Even though they may not truly fit the definition of a bad day.

Exhale any judgments or extremes,

Releasing the need to interpret your days in terms of perfection or messiness.

Take a few more deep breaths,

Allowing yourself to return to the present moment.

Remember that life is a blend of experiences and our perception of each day can be influenced by our tendencies to think in extremes.

Embrace the understanding that not every day has to fit into the categories of good or bad.

Open your mind to the nuances and possibilities that lies in between.

So I hope that the visualization was helpful in making you see that how all or nothing thinking pattern might be distorting your perception of reality on a day-to-day basis.

So now I would be sharing an exercise for you to try in order to overcome all or nothing thinking pattern or perfectionism and unrealistic high expectations,

Since these all are interconnected.

So let me ask you something,

Whether it is realistic to expect perfection in every situation or whether it is logical to believe that a single mistake defines your entire worth.

You know right,

Making mistake is a natural part of the learning or growth process.

It is more helpful to,

You know,

Embrace the concept of progress over perfection,

Celebrating your efforts and incremental achievements along the way.

In order to clarify what I mean by progress over perfection,

Let's hear a story which is from the book Art and Fear by David Bales and Ted Orland.

So let's get started with the story.

A ceramic teacher divided his class into two groups,

The quantity group and the quality group.

The quantity group was graded solely on the number of pots they produced,

While the quality group was graded solely on the quality of their work.

The teacher's grading criteria was simple.

The quantity group would receive an A for 50 pounds of pots,

A B for 40 pounds and so on.

The quality group,

However,

Would only receive an A if they produced one perfect pot.

At the end of the semester,

The teacher graded the students' work.

To his surprise,

The students in the quantity group had produced the highest quality work.

On the other hand,

The students in the quality group had spent so much time trying to create the perfect pot that they had never actually finished any work.

So the next time you are working on a goal of yours,

Remember the ceramic teacher's experiment that when we focus on making progress,

We are more likely to learn and grow.

But when we focus on perfection,

We can become paralyzed by fear of failure,

And we may never even start working on our goals,

Or we may give up prematurely.

So progress is not about being perfect.

It is about making forward movement,

Even if it's a little bit.

And focusing on progress actually leads to action,

Instead of sitting around and waiting for the perfect moment or waiting for all the things to align according to our plan.

So embrace the idea that things can be good enough without having to be perfect.

Just imagine what would happen if you let go of the need for yourself or your actions to be perfect.

Some of you might worry that without striving for perfection,

You will lose motivation to improve or to produce high quality work.

However,

Let me just point out here that this is just a prediction of your mind and not a fact,

Because you haven't,

You know,

Fully tried embracing the imperfection.

So why not design an experiment to test this prediction?

So let us assume the role of scientist and design an experiment together to test whether this prediction is right or wrong.

Because after all,

It is about our life,

Right?

So instead of working upon an assumption,

Let's design our lifestyle.

Let's design how we approach our goal based on what works for us,

Right?

So in this experiment,

What you can do is that for one week,

Try to do everything perfectly,

Following the standards that you have learned from the society or parents or anywhere else.

So start your week by setting the weekly goal and then each day set a daily goal or what you consider to be a perfect daily to-do list.

In that you can list the tasks,

Chores and activities that you would ideally complete if you know you were having that perfect day.

And then for that one week,

Let's call it a perfect week,

Aim to cross those tasks off from your to-do list.

After this perfect week is over,

Reflect on the outcomes of your perfect week experiment.

Notice if you felt overwhelmed or stressed due to the pressure of perfection.

Now comes the second phase of our experiment.

So in this,

We will be resetting our mindset and embracing the idea that it's okay to not achieve everything perfectly.

So in this week,

Let's call it an imperfect week or a realistic week,

Whatever you want to call it,

Okay?

In this week,

Remind yourself that imperfections are a part of life and they don't define your worth.

Release any need for perfection and instead focus on making progress,

Even if it's just 1% better.

So you can start this week by setting achievable,

Realistic daily goals.

So these should be the tasks that you genuinely believe you can accomplish within that day's time frame.

So what you can do is that set a weekly goal and then each day set a daily goal,

Keeping in mind,

Considering your energy levels,

Responsibilities,

And,

You know,

Leave some room for uncertainty to come up as it always does.

Keep a certain amount of time labeling it as miscellaneous,

Okay?

Because we don't know,

We never know what might occur.

So it is more realistic to assume that something uncertain will occur.

Also feel free to adjust the chosen task or goal to make them more attainable within the context of a normal day.

For example,

If your perfect week involves a 2 hour workout,

Consider a 10 to 20 minutes workout on busier days,

Which is more realistic and achievable,

Right?

And because you have that tendency of,

You know,

Perfectionism or being in that productivity and more than that,

Busy mindset,

Right?

So if you find yourself tempted to add more tasks,

Remind yourself that you are experimenting with a healthier approach.

You can even remind yourself of that ceramic features experiment because it is important for you to test what works for you so that,

You know,

You can accordingly move towards your future goals.

And if you don't complete everything on your to-do list,

On that realistic to-do list,

Then practice self-compassion because of course we are,

You know,

Practicing a healthier approach here.

So let's take in all the components of a healthy lifestyle.

Acknowledge what you accomplished instead of,

You know,

Just focusing on what you couldn't and let go of what you couldn't finish because that is the reality.

Resisting it will only cause suffering.

So during the middle of this imperfect or realistic week,

You may face setbacks,

Make mistakes or feel lazy.

But remember,

These things can also happen when you are striving for perfection.

So in this week,

Instead,

Try to anticipate failures and accept them instead of resisting them.

Don't fail your way to success because failure are inevitable and again,

Resisting them only will increase your suffering,

Waste more time,

Maybe lower your mood and that will lead to you engaging in distractions,

Do not feel the feelings,

Right?

So resisting it will just,

You know,

Start that negative spiral.

It's like when you were learning to walk as a child,

You fell down multiple times,

But what you did,

You kept going,

Right?

That's why you are able to walk as an adult.

So throughout the imperfect week,

If you encounter challenges,

Take a moment to connect with yourself and fulfill your needs in a healthy way.

For example,

If you need entertainment instead of mindlessly watching TV or scrolling through social media,

Engage in activities that genuinely bring you joy and relaxation,

Such as talking to a friend,

Playing a board game with family or walking in a park,

Etc.

Now as you reach at the end of that realistic or imperfect week,

Assess how you felt compared to the perfect week.

Assess any differences in stress levels,

Satisfaction and productivity.

So this is a general idea of how your perfect and imperfect week might look like in the experiment and also remember that at the end of each day in both the perfect and imperfect weeks,

Rate your mood and productivity on a scale of 0 to 10.

Assess not only what you accomplished that day,

But also how that way of life that you are practicing in that week,

That is perfection or imperfection.

So how it affects you the following day,

Because we are here trying to pay attention to the long-term impact on your mood and your overall productivity.

We don't just want,

You know,

Short-term benefits.

By the end of this experiment,

You will gain a clearer understanding of how different ways of being affect you or your productivity.

You can choose the approach that works best for you or even extend the experience because the more evidence that we gather,

The better we can assess what truly works for us.

So if instead you want to,

You know,

Increase the time from two weeks of this experiment to four weeks,

Then go for it.

But I am sure ultimately you will realize that we don't operate in extremes and that embracing imperfections can lead to growth and well-being.

So I hope that you enjoyed the visualization,

The story of that ceramic teacher and this technique or may I say experiment to find out whether perfectionism is actually working for you or not.

So that's it for today.

If you would like to know more about dealing with perfectionism or all or nothing thinking pattern,

Then you can check out my courses.

So take care.

Bye bye.