Letting Go Of Attachments & Specialness

Hey everyone,

Welcome to my first Insight Timer track.

For a little context,

My first few offerings here on Insight Timer will be from my Spiritually Drunk podcast that I actually no longer record on,

But there were some fun episodes I did there that kind of deal with the shadow work.

Spiritually drunk is just my term for spiritual bypass,

So I really wanted to focus on,

In some of my episodes,

Talking about the day-to-day things that really are still coming up in my life that are getting in the way.

If all I do is focus on the love and light,

Then I'm not uncovering and discarding the day-to-day aspects of my humanity that can still kind of get in the way.

And so that'll be what you hear for the first few episodes.

This was one of the first ones that I ever read from the metaphysical text,

A Course in Miracles.

That's my now chosen foundation and path for learning and teaching from.

And a lot of my later tracks,

And eventually when I go live here,

Will be speaking from this foundational place of A Course in Miracles.

So more to come,

But for now,

A little introduction to who Bo is,

Some of my episodes from Spiritually Drunk.

Have fun,

Enjoy them,

And I look forward to meeting you along the way in this journey we are all on together.

Welcome back to another episode of Spiritually Drunk,

Guys.

It's your host,

Bo Baker.

This week I wanted to talk about specialness,

Idols,

Things that we make important.

From a Buddhism perspective,

We talk about attachment.

Attachment to things.

But I figure at this point,

Since I don't have two million followers yet,

I figured why not?

I'm learning to just speak my truth and go there without fear and be fearless in the way I express myself.

And so I'm going there.

So something that came up this weekend,

Or this past week when I was in New York obviously,

Is the passing of the legend Kobe Bryant.

And it had me start to think,

Because I had a couple friends call,

And they of course said,

You know,

Isn't it tragic?

Isn't it tragic that we lost Kobe Bryant?

Like how is it affecting you?

And I paused and I had to be honest.

Because of course it's tragic that he died.

But in reality,

It's no more tragic that he died than anyone else.

And the added emotionality that so many of us have,

In my opinion,

From a spiritual perspective,

Because that's what I try to address,

Is due to added attachment in our subconscious.

We make people,

Places,

And things mean more in our own mind.

We attach a special value to people.

You know,

I decide to make something mean more in my own mind.

And if that something is gone or it's missing,

Then I have what of course would be a normal human response,

Which is grieving,

Or I'm hurt,

Or we're angry.

But what do I make special?

I make famous people matter more.

I make famous people special,

That's for sure.

I make people with status,

Or people that have a billion dollars like Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos from Amazon.

I definitely make them special.

I put them on a pedestal.

Anything that's related to me,

You know,

I started to think about.

Anything that's mine.

You know,

When it's mine,

It's mine.

When I'm separate,

And I've become a separate body,

You know,

Then anything related to my world,

I tend to put above the rest.

You know,

For me,

I'm looking for something,

Right?

I find something special in someone else.

I see something.

I don't know.

Where does that come from?

Where does it come from,

This idea in our minds to idolize,

To make special,

To worship?

I mean,

I'm looking for God.

You know,

I'm looking for the divine.

I'm looking for the light.

I'm looking for the wholeness.

Somewhere in me,

I don't feel whole.

I feel that I'm lacking something,

A part of me,

Of us,

Is missing.

And you know,

It just really had me start to think,

Guys.

You know,

In my quest for enlightenment,

In my quest for a more harmonious center,

The spiritual center that I feel like in a transformational path that we're seeking,

Just to feel at peace in my body.

To feel less anxiety.

To feel less irritation.

To feel more harmonious with the world.

You know,

For me,

My day-to-day irritations,

Anger,

Upset,

Are typically due a lot of the time to either some person that I perceive them as not doing right.

They're doing wrong.

And usually it's someone,

A parent,

A relative,

Or a special partner,

That somewhere in my mind,

Whether I recognize it or not,

Again,

Whether it's an athlete,

An actor,

I have made them matter in my mind.

Like they matter.

I worship them.

They are so meaningful.

They mean so much to me.

And look,

In my experience as a human,

I understand that we've developed this as a human culture,

Especially with social media and the internet and the way we idealize and frame things and award ceremonies and we award them and the Nobel Peace Prize.

We award people to make them special.

And sure,

Some might believe that there are people in the world that have contributed in a greater degree,

But we really ultimately decide that within our own mind.

And that,

I think,

Filters into this aspect of separateness.

This aspect that we are all separated off and that some are in fact greater than others.

And I mean,

Isn't that a belief?

Isn't that ultimately a belief of specialness?

Of idolization?

Because I have to believe that I'm separate.

And on somewhere deep down,

Whether it's been taught to me as a kid,

Or it's been taught to me through school or spiritual seeking or social media or anywhere,

Books,

Haven't I been taught that there is less than and greater than?

There is worse.

There are bad people and good people.

So we live in a world of duality.

The human experience does live in a dualistic frame.

But on some level,

These spiritual transformative paths that I seek all seem in their own words to point to that I'm moving towards a goal of healing what would I consider a delusional human conditioning of duality and separation.

No doubt from a scientific standpoint,

The world of form,

The world of matter,

The world of things,

You know,

Matter,

Material things,

That duality rules the world of form.

But that a lot of spiritual paths,

Almost all of them,

Teach that duality is ultimately an illusion.

That the only thing that's real is oneness,

That duality is perceived through the eyes,

But that it's not ultimately real.

So that in a transformative path,

I'm moving towards trying to arrive back in a state of oneness,

In a state of wholeness.

But the minute I make somebody mean more than someone else,

I've then decided to nurture and solidify within my own being specialness.

And if I've solidified specialness and idolizing,

I'm going to be hurt.

I'm going to be upset.

I'm going to be overly sad.

Oh my god,

It's tragic.

Oh man,

It's terrible.

Can you believe it?

Oh god.

And then I'm going to go talk about it to everyone I know for the next two weeks,

Like I was best friends from childhood with some person,

Place,

Or thing that I never even met in person or maybe never even had a conversation with.

Yet they're so meaningful.

I mean,

It's individual and collective.

So tonight,

What I wanted to do is I've talked a lot about A Course in Miracles.

And I think on some level I've been scared to read from A Course in Miracles because the wording can sound a bit,

Let's call it religious or dogmatic,

But I can assure you that it's really kind of the furthest thing from it.

But I found a passage that I really think kind of sums up really what it means to make idols and why we do.

Because again,

Let me state,

My belief personally is that I make an idol of something because here in this world of humanity,

You know,

The world of being birthed into human form is literally the representation of separateness.

Here I am,

I've arrived in the human experience,

And if you're on a spiritual path,

Hopefully you believe that we have souls or spirit,

And that I believe that I have separated and that my soul is missing its connection to the whole,

And I've got to find it.

And that this world is a place where it convinces me,

Well I'm just going to read the article,

Guys.

I'm just going to read the article and stop yapping.

Because I think it backs it up,

And when I'm done reading,

I'll finish off with some final thoughts and maybe I'll think of a spiritually drunk moment I had this week.

Oh yeah,

I just thought of it.

It'll be great.

And that'll be it.

So enjoy the article,

Guys.

And by the way,

An idol is defined from this book's perspective as anything that I make special.

I make that special partner an idol or special.

I make them mean more than they are.

I put them on a pedestal.

I worship it.

You know,

I can worship money.

I can worship the idea of something I'm supposed to be in the future.

I can be worshiping a future ideal.

I can be worshiping arriving at a certain place within my own experience down the road.

This idea of who I'll be,

I can worship that.

I can worship the new custom pair of Nikes that's about to come out.

I can worship anything,

Any person,

Place,

And thing or situation,

If I just search within,

That I've made more than it is.

And I do that.

So the name of the chapter is The Lingering Illusion.

Seek not outside yourself.

For it will fail,

And you will weep each time an idol falls.

The divine cannot be found,

Or let's call it wholeness,

Where it is not.

And there can be no peace excepting there.

Or heaven,

Or that state of remembering oneness,

The perfect perfection that we are,

Can only be found within.

There can be no peace excepting there.

Each idol that you worship,

When the divine calls,

Will never answer in its place.

There is no other answer you can substitute and find the happiness that the internal light brings.

Seek not outside yourself.

For all your pain comes simply from a futile search for what you want,

Insisting where it must be found.

What if it's not there?

Do you prefer that you be right,

Or happy?

Be glad that you are told where happiness abides,

And seek no longer elsewhere.

You will fail.

But it is given you to know the truth,

And not to seek for it outside yourself.

No one who comes here,

To earth,

In this realm,

But must still have hope,

Some lingering illusion,

Or some dream,

That there is something outside of himself that will bring happiness and peace to him.

If everything is already inside,

This cannot be so.

And therefore,

By our coming,

We deny the truth about ourself,

And seek for something more than everything,

As if a part of it were separated off and found where all the rest of it is not.

This is the purpose that we bestow upon the body,

Upon physical form,

That it seek for what it lacks,

And give it what would make itself complete.

And thus we wander aimlessly about,

In search of something that we cannot find,

Believing ourselves to be what we are not.

The lingering illusion will impel us to seek out a thousand idols,

And to seek beyond them for a thousand more.

All idols of this world were made to keep the truth within from being known to you,

And to maintain allegiance to the dream that you must find what is outside of you to be complete and happy.

It is vain to worship idols in the hope of peace.

The divine dwells within you,

And your completion lies inward.

No idol takes your place.

Look not to idols,

Do not seek outside yourself.

Let us forget the purpose of the world the past has given it.

The future will be like the past,

And but a series of depressing dreams in which all idols fail you,

One by one,

And you see death and disappointment everywhere.

To change all this,

And open up a road of hope and of release,

In what appeared to be an endless circle of despair,

You need but to decide you do not know the purpose of the world.

You give it goals it does not have,

And thus do you decide what it is for.

You try to see in it a place of idols found outside yourself,

With power to make complete what is within by splitting what you are between the two.

You choose your dreams,

For they are what you wish,

Perceived as if it had been given you.

And idols do what you would have them do,

And have the power you ascribe to them.

And you pursue them vainly in the dream because you want their power as your own.

Yet where are dreams but in a mind asleep?

Powerful guys,

Powerful.

I don't know,

There were so many meaningful points in there,

But really the one that hits me the most are like,

Yet where are dreams but in a mind asleep?

And you know,

I think that for me,

I just want to wrap it up with kind of the focus this week for me really has been being present to,

You know,

All around me I'm constantly hearing people who are doing the meditation and they're going to therapy and they're working on their trauma,

Yet they continue to go out into the world,

Outside seeking something to fulfill them.

Even if it's going onto social media and seeking out an article that's going to fill them up.

We worship the media,

We worship the news,

We worship the government,

We worship actors,

We worship fame.

Or if you're like me,

I've spent a lot of my life trying to create a completely delusional idea of that wholeness and separation can coexist in some harmonious whole.

That I can somehow live in a world where I say things like,

Well I ultimately know and believe we're all connected and we're all one and we're all part of this whole thing.

And I can be a separate individual and therefore create my own special separate world and therefore I can look at you and your separate special world and idealize you.

But ultimately most paths that I've studied are trying to push me to the remembrance of the wholeness that I really am,

That we really are.

That in fact we're all one.

That no one dying is any more tragic than anyone else.

Not really.

Not in the world of wholeness.

That we're all special and that we're all meaningless.

That we all matter and that we all don't matter.

That it's all the same.

I used to give the example of like,

Look,

We can go to a restaurant and I can say that this is the best dish in the world and I love this place and someone else can go in there and be like,

I don't like this place at all,

It's terrible.

Neither person is right.

The place in and of itself is just a neutral thing.

But we as human beings,

I add the specialness to things.

And you know what?

As long as I believe that I'm separate and as long as I keep going outside,

I continue to create and perpetuate more disappointment,

More upset,

More irritability,

More anger.

And let's be honest,

If you're like me and you believe,

Even if it's just intellectually,

That whatever you want to call it,

God,

The divine,

Light,

Wholeness,

Creative intelligence,

Buddha,

And whatever your source is,

Source power,

If you believe that it is a whole,

All-encompassing,

Compassionate,

Loving essence,

Then if I'm irritable,

If I'm angry,

If I'm jealous,

If I'm greedy,

If I'm impatient,

On some level,

I've probably attached more meaning in myself,

I've made myself mean more than someone else,

Or I've made myself less than someone else,

Or I've made someone else mean more than me,

Put myself down.

The world has upset me because I believe in levels.

I believe in specialness.

I believe somewhere in me that something matters more.

And then I'm going to be upset.

And this is a very human thing,

I understand it.

But ultimately I seek to move beyond or become more in harmony with the pointers that I read in all these books,

Including A Course in Miracles,

That seek not outside yourself.

And so that's my way of saying,

Like,

Rest in peace,

You amazing,

Run-of-the-mill,

Normal,

Everyday neutral brother in my life,

Kobe Bryant.

Just another individual who passed in the world.

And hopefully we can learn lessons.

And for me,

The lesson is if you're my listener,

And you're a listener who is really actually emotionally hit with this,

Really emotionally hit,

But you're on a path of transformation like me,

Then I would ask you to investigate.

Investigate where in your life.

Even if this didn't hit you,

But maybe there's something else.

Where in your life have you made something mean more than it really is?

You've made it special.

You've made it an idol.

You worship it.

And maybe,

Just maybe,

If we can remember to take these things,

People,

Places,

And situations,

And ideals,

And principles off from the pedestal of importance,

And remember that ultimately it's all connected.

We're all on the same playing field,

Trying to play the same game the best we can.

And nobody's position is any more important than anyone else's.

And if I try to live a have my cake and eat it too spirituality,

Where I say,

Well no dude,

But down here,

Like,

Let's be honest,

The quarterback is the most important position.

And no it's not.

Every person plays a part in the game of life,

The winning.

We're all equally contributing to the whole.

And only my own idea to make someone or something or someplace mean more is going to result in my suffering,

And my irritability,

And my loss of peace on a regular basis.

And believe me,

That has happened for me guys.

I have made women in my life mean more.

I have made that relationship,

Or that fantasy,

Going on a trip,

Like,

It can get a hold of me.

I can worship anything.

I can make anything special.

I can take a picture that I saw of that beautiful mountain top,

And then I get to the mountain top with the beautiful lake,

And then when I get there I realize,

Oh,

It's just a place that's beautiful.

And it's not any better or worse than any other place.

I'll wrap with my spiritually drunk example of the week.

That was a fun noise I just made.

So my spiritually drunk example of the week,

As you know guys,

I have been on a path of really learning to love and honor myself completely and wholly in a much more radical way that seems radical to a lot of people.

I've really just kind of focused on staying pretty tight in my life,

And I haven't had a lot of communication with really out many people in the past five months.

But there's little subtle ways.

When I'm on a path of trying to heal old patterns,

Right,

We're letting go of old patterns so we can arrive back in the remembrance of our wholeness.

I want to let go of these patterns that I use to separate and seek outside myself.

So talk about seeking outside.

I was in Brooklyn,

And I found this amazing,

Amazing,

By the way,

If you're in Brooklyn,

Kind of near Park Slope,

Google this Thai restaurant called Bangkok Bar.

It's unbelievable,

And there's this special dish.

They have a special dish with curry and like a chicken bone.

Just go there.

Bangkok Bar,

Brooklyn.

It is unbelievable,

But I was searching for like a coffee or a juice,

And lo and behold,

I turn around and here's this little love and light filled shop,

And I look in and there's these two beautiful women that work there,

One of which is the owner.

And my immediate decision was,

Well,

There's a place outside of myself that's going to bring me some joy.

I don't think I really thought that consciously,

But it was more of an instantaneous,

Let's go there.

We're going in.

Let's soak up a little vicarious vibe.

We'll call it the vicarious vibe because there's something outside of me that's going to make me feel better.

Just soothe me a little bit.

I just need to be soothed.

Those are the thoughts that come in.

They're really delicate.

It's not as direct as the Course in Miracles,

Right guys?

It's not like they come in like you're going to seek something outside of yourself because you hate you and you don't think you're enough.

It disguises us with subtle little thoughts like,

Oh,

Let's just,

I just need to,

You know,

That's what a warm,

Inviting place.

Or,

You know,

Right?

It could be anything.

It could be a warm,

Inviting place I should travel to.

Yeah,

Very simple.

I'll go there.

And really,

It's deep down built from a place of I'm separate and I'm lacking and I'm seeking something outside of me that I should be going within,

That I want to go within.

And I'm mosey on in and of course,

Like,

Hey,

You guys have any food?

And of course I was actually looking for food,

Right guys?

But they didn't actually have any food,

But of course I'm not leaving.

Well,

I say,

What about coffee?

Oh yeah,

We've got an espresso.

Beautiful.

I also wanted an espresso.

And they were like,

We have that.

Now I did decide to keep my conversation limited as I've been directed,

No ultimate over engaging conversation,

But I was pleasant.

The pleasantries were fine and I had my espresso,

But then I had to seek a little bit further outside myself a little bit longer.

And they had a little cacao chocolate thing and I'm like,

Well,

I better order something else that'll keep me here for another five seconds and soak up these two young women who were conversating me,

Asking me if I was new,

Working in this huge,

Big corporate.

No,

I'm here doing a sales trip.

Yeah.

So,

And then I also went back four days later because I had started to feel under the weather.

And of course my inner compass said,

Well,

Let's go back to that light filled place where there's the light because it's outside of us.

It's in that shop,

Right?

I'm going to find it out there.

And so let's go back there and find it.

Now granted guys,

You may have been thinking all along that we're human beings doing the best we can,

And we can learn to be gentle with our humanity and laugh at our humanness,

But also recognize that at some level,

My humanness,

The human experience has taught us it seems so far to just keep us on this external journey.

Even if it's as subtle as,

Let's go there.

That's that place out there.

It's got the thing that'll fix it.

It's got the thing that'll fix it.

And it did,

It had some really lovely warm tea.

And one of those two females was working and she was like,

Oh,

Hello again.

And see,

I got that quick fix,

That subtle fix that seemed to work like,

Oh,

She recognizes me.

Isn't that lovely?

That's my spiritually drunk example of the week,

Seeking outside of myself to fix the internal.

It's ultimately an internal disconnect.

So thanks for tuning in as always.

If you're a continuing listener,

Thank you.

If you're a new listener,

I appreciate your support.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Goodbye.

And as always,

Take care.