Today we are going to practice getting to know our emotions.
It is good to practice this as soon as you start to feel any emotion that you want to work with.
It can be a painful emotion,
A pleasant emotion,
Or something in between.
Either way,
You decide what emotion you would like to work with.
A good way to decide what emotion you are going to work with is to choose the emotion that is present when you find yourself in a flurry of thoughts.
This can look like repetitive negative thinking,
Worry,
Anxiety,
Thinking about events in the past,
Thinking about events in the future,
Thinking the same thought over and over again.
Those are all thought patterns that we call repetitive negative thinking and they are a great indication that there is an underlying emotion there that we might not be comfortable feeling.
So let's start the exercise.
I'm going to guide you through and at the end I'll let you know when we are finished.
I want you to take three or four deep diaphragmatic breaths.
Remember these are breaths where as we breathe our belly expands like there is a balloon in there and as we release the balloon deflates,
Our belly deflates.
So as we breathe in our belly is pushed out which begins to tell our nervous system that it can relax and as we breathe out our belly deflates.
Notice how the breath feels in your throat as it fills your lungs and as it stretches your diaphragm.
While breathing slowly notice how you feel inside your body,
Particularly your stomach and your chest.
Notice your neck,
Then your shoulders and now your face.
Now notice how you feel emotionally.
Just keep your attention on the feeling until you have a sense of it.
Describe that feeling to yourself.
Label it.
Notice the strength of the feeling.
Find words to describe the intensity.
Notice if the emotion is growing or diminishing.
For some people they may prefer to describe it in qualities like colors,
Temperature or other sensations.
If the emotion were a wave,
At what point of the wave are you now ascending on the leading edge,
On the crest,
Beginning to slide down the far side?
Now notice any changes in the feeling.
Are there other emotions beginning to weave into the first one?
Describe to yourself any new emotions that have appeared.
Just keep watching and looking for words to describe the slightest change in the quality or intensity of your feelings.
As you continue to watch,
You may notice a need to block the emotion,
To push it away.
That's normal,
But try to keep watching your emotions for just a little while longer.
Just keep describing to yourself what you feel and noticing any changes.
Notice what it's like not to act on your feelings,
Not to blow up or avoid,
Not to hurt yourself.
Just be aware of the feeling without action,
Watching but not doing.
Remind yourself that this is a wave that passes like countless other emotional waves in your life.
Waves come and they go.
We know from research that the lifespan of an emotion is actually only seven minutes.
When we experience an emotion for longer than that,
It means that we've got swept up in a flurry of thoughts that have retriggered the start of the emotion.
There are many times when you felt good.
Painful emotions like waves will pass and you will feel again a period of calm.
Watch the wave and let it slowly pass.
That's what emotions do.
They come and they go.
If judgment about yourself or another arises,
Notice it.
Slowly allow the water to take it away.
If you have a judgment about feeling this emotion,
Notice it and allow it to go.
As best you can,
Try to accept this feeling.
It's what's here now and it may not be what's here moments from now.
Stay aware of your emotions just a little longer.
If they're changing,
Let them change.
That's what they do.
Describe to yourself what you feel.
Keep watching until the emotion either changes or diminishes.
We're going to finish the exercise with a few moments of mindful breathing.
Counting your breaths,
Focusing on the experience of each breath.
It can be very helpful to bring a sense of curiosity as you're practicing mindful breathing.
I want you to do this emotion exercise for brief periods at first,
Maybe as little as five minutes.
As you become more used to focusing on feelings,
You will be able to tolerate emotion exposure for longer periods.
Always be sure to end exposure with mindful breathing because it will soften high intensity feelings and help to relax you.
Good job.
This is the end of the exercise.
