Presence Through Photography: Harness Your Powerful Vision

Although we can control many things,

What we can control is our very real power in experiencing and living the life the way we want to live it so that when the inevitable happens at the least likely time,

We can look back and say,

I wouldn't have done anything different.

Help Me See is a podcast that redefines the word vision through vulnerable and real conversations.

My own private introspective ramblings about the things that I think about in the wee hours of the morning and my deep core belief that your nothingness is your everything and all you have to do is see.

I'm Bianca Mora.

I'm your host.

I am an educator,

A photographic artist,

And I believe that your daily photo habit can be the key to unlocking the ability to be more present in your everyday life and live deeper into your intention and purpose.

We're not about the small talk here.

Grab your coffee,

Get cozy,

And let's talk.

Good morning.

I say good morning because it is 1227 on Wednesday,

The day that this podcast drops.

And here I am.

See I fell asleep putting my four year old to bed.

He loves when I put him to bed.

We call it snuggle time and so much of the time I end up falling asleep and it is so frustrating especially on a day like this where I wake up at midnight and I only had a little bit left to do before I set my podcast episode to export and now here I am.

And you know I've thought about this.

I don't have a boss telling me that this has to happen.

I don't have people knocking down my door demanding this.

I don't know how many people would be ever so disturbed that this came out late.

But you know it's something that I made an internal promise about and this work and this message is something that I don't feel can wait and I don't want to endanger the consistency and just this feeling and flow I have in talking about this by giving myself the leeway pretty much.

Can you relate?

It's like though I know if I let up or if I do x,

Y,

And z I'm in danger of a landslide.

I don't know maybe that's just me.

I am very excited for this episode because I am giving the audio of my free workshop presence through photography.

So in this workshop I actually break down like what are all of these unconscious important decisions that we're making when we take the photo snapshot like I'm not even talking about you know professional photography I'm talking about well I'm not not talking about that but I'm talking about it all just anytime we think to take a photo what are the decisions that are going on behind the scenes that are actually deeply contributing to our experience to our perspective to our intentions to our lives and more so if we're doing all of these sophisticated things and we're making all these decisions unconsciously can you imagine the power and the impact on your life if you became awake and aware of what you're doing so that you can harness it so that you can be more intentional so that you can do more of that so that you can truly lean in to this life so that you can see like your nostalgia now and know that you're seeing it it's kind of like when you're looking for something and it flashes by and you're like oh wait was that it knows it it's like the episode of friends where Rachel is like oh yeah they're she's pregnant and they're like you see the head and the feet and she's like I don't see it and then she pretends to see it and oh my god I don't know maybe that was just me I'm laughing um but I want us to know that we're seeing it know in our bones that we're not missing this one and only life and there are a myriad of ways there's so many ways in which this superpower this tool that we all have access to in this moment especially if you're listening to this podcast technologically speaking sure you have access to a camera of some sort even if it's just on your phone there are so many ways we can use our photographs and and the state our conscious state that we in which we recognize our desire to take a photo and the process of it like just today just tonight I'll give you an example I was in such a frustrated place I was not giving this shit about my nostalgia now it's like oh my god I'm so irritated my I'm a sensory overload I'm overstimulated I just wanted to get to bedtime so that I can come down here and do the work that I so wanted to do and would have been done but there was like a technical thing that happened so it sent me back anyway so my son is having like this grand old time in the shower and I was like wanting him to hurry up and I felt this disconnect I became aware of like this is adorable and I don't care right now I'm frustrated and listen I 1000% hold for that too I am NOT saying that we need to get ourselves to care or she get in this like sweet place of savoring when we don't feel like it I think being present to wanting to numb out and to needing space is a thousand percent the most important thing we can do for ourselves to fill our cups but in this particular instance I got curious I was like you know what let me see if I'm able to come around to this moment and I took out my camera my phone and I started recording him there's something about the act of looking at what is in front of you through your screen that I think at first glance people would say or might say is a barrier you're not there but in fact not only did it diffuse my frustration in that moment but it made me look at it through the eyes of a mom who was missing seeing her son be really silly jumping around the shower is he's not always gonna act like this crazy little monkey and he has to take a shower or open his mouth the water dripping and then spit it out like a water fountain that's not always gonna happen and when you're putting yourself in the process of taking a photograph or taking a home video I use that synonymously you just become so much more present to that fact you know so while I do not once again I will say this because I find it to be so important rose-colored glasses is not what I'm here for I first and foremost want to connect to my own truth before for experiencing anything or wanting to try to experience something in a specific way I want to be present to everything that is in the hair now but I don't think it's a coincidence that I had that experience on the night in which I was getting ready to drop this workshop so important it's so empowering and I felt lighter and I felt unclenched when my frustrations ended up being diffused and I was able to see more clearly through my phone screen imagine that it didn't turn me into a zombie helped me okay so here without further ado I am going to play this workshop where I talk a bit about my why and I talk about the process of how to be present through taking a photo and if this is intriguing to you click on the link in the show notes so that you can get the visual because this I recorded the workshop through canva and I have there's a little slideshow or it's a slide deck that goes with it so if you want to look at the slides and just have that content if you're a more visual person like me you can sign up the link in the show notes and get sent yeah and then also I don't talk about it often but all of these podcast episodes most of them have well they're all also on my youtube channel that I don't really promote and most of them have video of me speaking in a completely black cave basement um okay I think that is it and if if you're feeling super lit up and almost like you're vibrating and this is like yes I need more of this in my life you can head over to my website I have educational resources I have all three resources I have my paid membership that I believe in so very deeply in being a very easy doable way to get in this empowered habits and be able to do very little to gain huge perspective shifts in your life so if you're interested in that there's also a link in the show notes and um and yeah thank you thank you for being here with me I mean wherever you are in the world whatever you're doing I I'm very grateful that you care about this conversation well yeah okay well it's 1240 so I'm not I'm not beyond crying right now so I don't I'm too tired to cry okay I hope you love the workshop and I'd love to hear from you if you have any thoughts or something came up more to find me I'm over on Instagram at Bianca Leonora and Leah is le a minute right without further ado enjoy hello hello welcome to presence through photography so why are you here why and how did you find your way to this super obscure odd class odds are I'm willing to bet that you are a sensitive soul who has a yearning to make this life count I think there's a special strain of people that are willing to lean into the the bittersweet most painful reality that everything around us is impermanent and I've spent my whole life in deep fear of this well most of my life and then through my work and through this habit that we all have access to I have been able to find power and peace and a deeper experience in my life and I want to share that with you today it's the most important lesson I've learned in my whole life and I have yet to find anywhere that talks about it so before we get going I want you to take a moment and humor me here I want you to play with a lens I want you to put a lens on right now that this workshop is the last time it is the last time that you have access to or the ability to understand this superpower the superpower of your photo habit for the rest of your life and if you don't pay attention now you will not get to soak it in in the way that you can okay and this is pretend or so you can go and rewatch it I'm not into false scarcity over here but for the sake of the bigger picture and added context for what we're talking about try to think about how you're experiencing something when you know it's the last time I think about it like I think about when you're reaching in the bag for potato chips and you didn't know it was the last chip like oh had I known I would have savored that when I wasn't prepared to not have the last tip so this is why I want you to kind of place yourself before we be in class so okay this list is directly related to me and the things that I have struggled with for a long time so if you can relate to any of this you surely are in the right place you know struggling to feel and be present you know this is a tricky one too I feel like sometimes we expect presence to feel a certain way almost unattainable at times and in reality maybe we just need to understand how we define presence in our body in our minds and photography is another way that can help us with that did you want to soap up every second of the season of life but simultaneously want space how I think about my my mama hood right now it's like I love you so much please get away from me it's like the pain of the just knowing how temporary all of it is but at the same time craving space and air for yourself to think to just be does overwhelm inhibit you from seeing the forest through the trees no you just feel like it's on the tip of your nose you just cannot see it sometimes whatever it is long days and short years make life feel like a blur do you ever feel torn about whether or not you should take a photo in a special moment or not just be there this is a special for you that's what you struggle with and then do you have a strong desire to live an intentional life so if any of these are relevant to you I am so happy you're here so happy okay your photo habit can help you live more of your life I 1 million percent believe this deeper and more of your life and I think the most popular the most popular topic that comes up around this is the idea that taking a photo is some gluttonous act I feel like over time as photographs and with the onset of digital has become more and more available it's almost looked at as oh you just have to take a photo of this and you know in some cases that could be the case but in others I think that we are shutting ourselves down shutting ourselves off from a wealth of opportunity by just assuming that we cannot be both at the same time that we cannot have both the moment and the photograph because it's not just this 2d memento it's actually a process as rich as meditation in fact I believe it is a meditation an active meditation that will help us experience more of our life so presence and photography when we allow them to coexist it opens our world so this is Dorothea Lange she is a famous photographer and this quote these few quotes from her I feel like really help illustrate this the camera is an instrument that teaches people how to see without a camera and that's the whole point of this whole lesson you know to give you a quick sneak peek from down the line what we're going to talk about whether or not you actually take the photo is almost completely besides the point I would say because the fact that you even thought that you would want to photo of it that's golden we're gonna get more into that later while there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see photographs are very constrained in some ways it is what it is we took a picture of what we took a picture of and it's stopped it's time frozen but in other ways it's this transcendental magical unicorn creation that although it's frozen it gives us the ability to revisit it with new eyes over and over again and have deeper and richer and more diverse interpretations of that one specific moment that is gone forever I've goosebumps just thinking about that let's talk about it all the time to know ahead of time that you're looking what you're looking for means that you're only then photographing your own preconceptions which is very limiting and also and often false this is core this is like if I'm going to photograph of a session and I have in my mind an idea of what I want to shoot and it's so in the forefront of my mind that it stops me from seeing what's actually present in the moment the actual magic of what is it's like our kids first day of school I use this example sometimes so yes we all want the Pinterest kid with the backpack on in front of the door maybe the chalkboard if that's your thing but when I took my kid to school daycare I ended up taking a selfie of myself sobbing in the car because I didn't know what else to do and I felt the pain and I just did it so although at first glance you might think why would I want an ugly picture of myself crying over an adorable picture of my kid with his backpack on and I'm not saying you would prefer over but what I'm offering here is if you have the two side by side what is the more pivotal what is the more honest what is the deeper and richer representation of that moment in time it's you in my opinion it's you the power of your face showing that emotion with your baby walking away from you is something that serves as gorgeous proof of your love from a time before your kid was even able to remember that experience exploring consciousness in the context of photographic practices there are myriad ways that you can see at any given moment yet you only narrate a few of them the ones you discuss in your mind are the ones that matter to you with this subtle form of pre-processing you manage to control the experience of reality so that it all fits together inside of your mind your consciousness is actually experiencing your mental model of reality and not reality itself this quote is by Michael Singer of the Untethered Soul amazing book of consciousness and awareness and I wanted to include this quote because I deeply believe that your photo practice is tied to your consciousness is tied to being able to witness yourself from your seat of consciousness if you let it all right we're about to get into the good stuff but first who the hell am I I am a photographic artist I'm an educator I'm a podcast host graduated with a BFA in photography and digital imaging my work has been nationally exhibited with a core focus on intimate family portraiture and multimedia I've spent the last 20 years documenting moments for myself and others and if I had to distill it down I'd say I help you see the nostalgia in your now harness your vision and live with intention by reimagining your daily photo habit I do this all because it's the most important thing I could ever dream to do with my life but more importantly than the type of resume bullet point blip over there is the fact that I had 11 years old I pretty much had my first panic attack coming to the realization of death and I just got caught in this loop of nothing just nothing I just kept thinking my favorite bands my favorite color my parents my little sister my favorite anything it doesn't matter nothing eventually to all turn into nothing and it really rocked me so I became obsessed with documenting and saving and creating things with meaning I viewed everything through a nostalgic lens with a deep desire to make it count I would save my mom's grease-stained lunch notes every single one of them I would buy wooden boxes from Michael's and line it with my you know disposable camera pictures that I've taken at concerts and a friend that I really loved and I would always just make things because I couldn't articulate with words what I wanted to say and my feelings for people so I would just use the only way I could which was visuals so I had been doing this my whole life and the weird part is I had been living in fear of nothingness while doing this practice to try to work through it unconsciously but I had never really experienced a loss and it always almost pissed me off about myself like why am I so beholden to this and I almost like I felt like I didn't have the right to be because I hadn't experienced a significant loss or pain and I was inflicting it on myself ahead of time right but I was born with the sensitivity and it's just what it was until in 2021 with the very very very sudden and unexpected death of my beloved dog my first baby my dog Tyson so at that time when I was grieving I still am grieving I'll forever be grieving I realized that my process for living the way I was living my life in the way that I was documenting it served a higher purpose I went back in my hard drive and I was looking at all the photos I took and I realized that all of the ones that I was clinging to all of the ones that actually brought a smile to my face of any sort were the mundane nothingness photos the cell phone photos the blurry the ones that he was making a stupid face in it wasn't the gorgeous portraits regal portraits I had of him it wasn't the ones where he was perfectly sitting looking at the camera it was the shitty ones since then I had launched a podcast an intimate membership education and photographic commission offerings and all of my work is centered around showing you that you're nothing is really your everything and all you have to do is see it and it can be really hard to see it you can be really hard to stay awake in our lives but your photo habit is something that can the most instinctually keep you awake but I just think about had I known you know how had I known those days we're coming to an end what I would have done differently what pictures I would have taken and we can't really do that to ourselves right it doesn't help anything to get frustrated with yourself over what you don't have this is a huge reason why I'm doing the work that I am and creating the education around what I'm creating in that if we are living our lives in a more intentional way there's less room for this feeling of regret you know in many senses of the word and I feel really fortunate that I don't have regret what I do this morning and I was trying to retrace my morning like today did I look at him this morning like I was just going about my errands and then the panic inside of me what was that last morning and then I had this sigh of relief there's a huge sigh of relief I remembered of course of course of course he was laying at the foot of the bed and laying and staring out the window you have like a little pond in the backyard and he was just staring and uh I cuddled with him I kissed his nose I held his face and I looked in his eyes and I told him I loved him I had no I obviously I had no idea what was to come okay so why am I sharing this depressing story well it's because I need to say it I think that sometimes for fear or dragging down and I don't know that there's anything more important to say then the shakeup of we 99% of the time don't know when our last time is with many many things from the you know cliche but so true there's gonna be a time where you pick up your check for the last time and then you won't pick them up again or a time that you last talked to someone that you didn't know was their last time or your last time talking to them there's so many instances of last times and it can feel scary and it's something that I've struggled with a lot of my life when my parents call me to say happy birthday and they start singing or something like that I get really locked in my chest sometimes thinking about just that but the good news here is that although we are not in charge of what happens in the universe and can't control many things what we can control is our very real power in experiencing and living the life the way we want to live it so that when the inevitable happens at the least the least likely time we can look back and say I wouldn't have done anything different that sentence the feeling of this immense pain when I lost my dog like my heart was ripped out of my chest and it's almost like a given when you experience that I felt like oh here it comes here's the big old shoulda woulda coulda and it was the most I don't even know what the word is like freeing but also not in an exhilarating way because it was terrible time but to know that something was that important and I didn't have any regret there was nothing that I could say I wish I knew how important that was at the time because I looked at him with the eyes of nostalgia I looked at him knowing I couldn't kiss him more and I couldn't hug him more and I couldn't pet him more on the day that he left us I had that very deep intimate moment with him telling him how much I loved him when I had no idea what was about to happen I think that he is the vehicle that made me more aware of the person I wanted to be in life he drew this sacred intentionality out of me and I was able to become awake to that and aware to that through my photo taking habit as well and with him although I took so many home videos and pictures with him and of him a lot of that was also without taking the photo like I have an obscene amount of photos with him but also plenty of times I chose to not but I always thought oh to have a picture oh my phone's not close I can't take a picture of this sweet moment oh it was always there heightening my senses so I can drink up the moment more okay so now we're gonna shake it up and we are going to step into our seat of power in this situation but first we have to personally go a little bit deeper so let's pretend now that this is it curtains are about to close there's a wrap on your life you didn't know it but whatever happened in the last day or week was a week of lasts your last time close your eyes and knowing that this is the last few moments of your life simulate your life flashing for your eyes just humor me well this is a little bit rough so important just close your eyes and let whatever moment come to you come to you what do you see what is the most quintessential visual moments that come to you and define the life that you've lived what is most important to you what is coming up I want you to open your eyes I know that wasn't a long time but let's just operate from here write down what you saw write down what came to you what thoughts came to you write it down we see our life in moving images in real time and in reflection what is at the core of what you saw did something surprise you what didn't surprise you you're like of course I saw that did you recognize all of it did you find a common thread what is the common thread with everything that you saw so this might be a little bit of a depressing practice but the most exciting part the silver lining to this simulation is that your common thread what you saw what naturally came to you is really wise really strong intuition now we want to bring that hindsight into now because you simulated a hindsight you thought okay this is my last my last hour the life that flashed before your eyes was what you're looking at with hindsight so now let's bring that into your now can you scroll through the last month of photos as if it were your last month of life now if you look at your phone which I'm weird to say that because I might not get you back here I know that life but if you look at just the very last month of your life the last few weeks and you think about what you saw in your flash before your eyes do you feel connected to the thread in your exercise are you satisfied with how life has been for the last three or four weeks does it feel intentional and then where are your gaps where are the gaps in which like oh my gosh I saw ABC but in my photo scroll of my last month of life my experience is XYZ and I want you to refrain from judgment here there is no good or bad right or wrong should or shouldn't it's all just something to notice it's all breadcrumbs of your history this is a portal of self-discovery and most importantly it is an opportunity this is a huge opportunity see taking a photo is not an act of gluttony it is not oh I just I can't just be here I must save it I must save it the act of taking a photograph is an acknowledgement it's a gratitude and it's a reference for the moment before you unless you're taking a photo because you feel this internal pressure to host the social media and you don't want to be and you would recognize that you would know that but if you are feeling this pain just come out of your subconscious and before you know what you're taking your photo your phone out to take a picture because you just want it whatever it is that it's of a flower a bug I don't know whatever it is that's a very genuine and authentic impulse a photograph is looking at something and just saying yes oh I see this it's this idea that it's not enough to just look it's not enough to just be I want I value this so much I just want to participate in it in some way I want to engage in it in some way this whatever is in front of me this it woke me up think about all the things in your life you don't take a photograph of every single day so how can we powerfully shift our lens your everyday photo habit doesn't have to feel like a burden it can be a tool it is not a barrier to your presence it is an opening to experience your presence more and especially for my mama's with some exception it doesn't have to be this heavy responsibility it can be an opportunity no a lot of times I hear that I'm always the one taking photos I'm never in the photograph and I have there's a whole nother tangent on that I actually do have a free challenge on that feel free to ask me for it and I'll send you I'll send you the challenge in box challenge for this but I'm about to break down how your photo taking can really help you be more present so there's four steps here there's the thoughts that impulse to take a photo there's the decision to take the photo or not that's not the question actually doesn't really matter so you listen to your gut the experience how to intentionally photograph and then the gift transform and reflect forever and ever and ever okay let's dive into it so first the thought the most important one in my opinion to recognize a moment King the idea that something that you're seeing is worth taking the time to think I want to photograph this I mean that's it it's a witnessing it's a choosing it's a curating it's seeing four trillion things in a day all of a sudden just thinking take a photo of this it sounds so casual and it sounds so mundane but it's a sign that your consciousness is awake and it is important for any reason it's important you think it's just funny if it's comforting if it's inspiring if it makes you happy it doesn't matter if it pisses you off anything that lights you up in any way and shakes you out of the trance that is going about life oftentimes is life then that is a beautiful beautiful gift the thought of picture-perfect or I need a photo of this signals a deep understanding of the beauty of the moment with our natural inclination of wanting it to last longer despite our knowing that it cannot right it's not even just of this cool it's like this subliminal understanding that I'm thinking to take this because I know it will never be the same this moment will be gone forever your awareness and awakening to what is in front of you is the most poignant part of the whole process I know there are many times where I will think I'm not gonna take my phone out here I'm just going to be it just feel like being and then my eyes are just lighting up with what's happening my kids playing with a sprinkler and the sun's at a certain point and it just I have to run inside to get the camera but whether I did or not I'm still seeing I'm still whether I decide to take it further and take the picture I am still shaken awake and you know I'm gonna take a pause here and say even if you're someone that feels like oh I just never think to take a photo I usually I'm so into the moment that I'm I don't often think oh I should take a photo of this I don't think that there should be any what's the word I don't know regret or any oh I should have I should have I think if you didn't naturally feel that ping I believe it's because you were meant to experience that moment in the way that you fully were it's also beautiful that you didn't think to take a photo and if you think in retrospect oh shit I want then maybe next time a similar occurrence comes up you will think about it then but if I'm ever in a moment and I didn't take a photo of it and I think about it later like oh I would have wanted a photo of that I don't really have any attachment to it because I know that if I thought that after the fact that I'll be presented with the opportunity in some way shape or form again and it's really not about the actual thing that was happening it's about the essence of how I felt so I'll be able to recognize that feeling the next time so I'm just throwing that out there that if you're someone that doesn't often think to take a photo that I think that's amazing as well my caveat is I just invite you to consider if you have shut off that kind of door you've closed off a lock that door in your brain because you believe that you cannot be present and take the photo oftentimes I will talk to people about this and I'll see relief I'll see their shoulders fall oh oh oh my gosh I can it's like I don't need to give you permission to do what you obviously are wanting to do or experience in a moment right so restraining yourself from taking a photograph isn't necessarily a noble thing because you're really stopping yourself from experiencing the moment the way you want to and the way your core wants to engage in that moment I'm jumping ahead right now the decision the power of trusting your intuition so the decision to or to not take a photo it could be instant it's just gauging your intention and your desire and it's not all about freezing a moment it's about loving a moment so much that you want to engage with it on multiple dimensions with or without the photograph all right it's again it's that feeling of oh this I just have to I have to do something with this sometimes we don't take a photo because we think it won't do the moment justice and that's neither right nor wrong the rightness just depends on your desired experience even if you could take the most gorgeous photo in the world of something it still doesn't compare to living it so let's just take that off the table completely wait life there's nothing like here and now being right here being right now I'm so grateful that you are right here right now with me we could talk about this mind-blowing thing that I find that I live my whole life with and you're choosing to do this with your time I think this is such a gift for the rest of your life I'm excited but in any moment considering the past or thinking about the present nothing compares about being here now so we're talking about this idea of the photo habits supporting and really fostering the experience without the expectation of the camera or the photograph making something worth it because nothing is more than just being here now choosing not to take the photo is finding more peace in just being and knowing that we are okay without saving a visual proof of the moment choosing to take the photo is the equivalent to leaving a breadcrumb that you can come back to later and an opening to revisit the memory and feelings of that moment and the opening comes in many many forms okay the experience so let's say you decide I want a photograph I want to take a photo of this and again this could be an instant yes or no I don't want a photo I do want a photo this can be active or passive and understanding the significance in your subconscious decisions is key so what do I mean by this active or passive it can be something that you don't even know that you make these decisions every single time what I'm going to talk about please do not feel like I'm speaking specifically to professional photographers I'm not not speaking to them but this is something the casual family life snapshot is involved in all of this and whether or not you're choosing to be more purposeful and more intentional and utilize any sort of skill or technique in it or not active versus passive here this is all happening this is all happening in the background so your role gauging your desire and your impact on a scene do I want to influence the moment less or do I want my presence and immersiveness of the photo to play a significant role so I think about this in the sense of you know if my boys are playing and I'm wanting to take pictures of them but I want to be in it I want to be involved so I'll be on my back or with them climbing on me with my cell phone in my hand taking those photos it's a very different experience than if my son is reading on his bed and I'm like really trying not to have him notice that I'm there and reaching my phone over to take a snapshot without him looking your role in taking a photograph is something that completely influences what it is you're seeing later and that is again neither good nor bad it's just a decision orientation direction what is the most important part of everywhere my eye can see right now the act of taking a photo can help awaken us to consider viewing and experiencing a moment in more than just one way it encourages exploring different points of view the act of taking a photograph activates you right it's like look at these photos these are stills from a home video but how much more pitiful and sweet and sad and cute is the photo of looking down at my baby sister crying that vantage point my orientation to my subject to this subject further pushes this feeling of helplessness she feels all right let's think of a happier example okay in my studio when I was taking a photo the whole point of what the photos that I was taking was this little boy this one-year-old so cute and I'm in a scene and I'm looking everything around me the idea was to be taking a photo of this one-year-old but then I turn and his parents are making fools of themselves trying to make him smile and it was the cutest thing in the whole world and I decided that no this I turned this is more important this is this is the this of this moment not even this cute baby it's this not even this cute baby it's this framing okay but what about this distill it down more when you limit what you're looking at you're able to pay more attention you can dive deeper instead of wider or you can dive wider instead of deeper it's not about how much you can fit in the frame it's about focusing on the moment you're responding to I think about a picture I took at a little baby's foot right he was being held by his dad the whole thing was sweet but I chose to not only look at his foot but I stepped in closer and I zoomed in on his foot I demanded attention with that photograph on this don't look at anything else look at this foot this pudgy bubbly foot is not always going to look like this I was nursing my son the other day and I noticed his foot was skinnier and I wanted to cry oh my what is this happening you know it's just a crazy magic trip that is always happening and we don't realize it until you're buying another shoe size until you're you know it's just and our framing the way in which we choose to walk up closer to a subject or further back making those decisions is training us to be more deliberate about how we are deciding to experience our lives and where we're placing our focus and our attention this craft this act demands an intentionality and it activates our vision and the amazing news is that you've been doing these things unconsciously so you're already halfway there okay now harnessing this powerful information you're about to dive so much deeper you're about to have this just foundation in the back of your mind and it's going to help you soak in more of your life and I really hope that you message me and tell me about it because I can't wait to see you again soon and I hope you'll be able to message me and tell me about it because I cannot wait to hear focus okay choose what you focus on the closer you get to something the more blurry everything else can get or the whole thing when you open an aperture so my photographers here more light gets in when you close aperture less like it then the faster the shutter speed the more frozen in time the photo is the slower the shutter speed the more blur is invited into the frame and it's all good I think that we can just know these things and be grateful for whatever comes out in the frame I think about relating focus to our consciousness and how when we're too close to something we cannot see we cannot see it it still no longer sits out in the frame why I do this is because one of theAUDIO have really implemented it haven't has the current eye And as I started stepping back and giving it space,

It started to come into focus.

And that's how our lives are.

That's what a metaphor is for what we're doing right now.

It's that hindsight that we're trying to get at,

Right?

As you're further away from an event in your life,

You can see it more clearly.

Say,

Oh,

What was I thinking?

Or,

Oh,

I understand now that his intention was this versus that.

So I'm trying to bring,

We're trying to bring that 2020 hindsight closer and think about it in terms of a way that's super accessible in the act of taking a photo.

If you can bring your sight into focus and step back clearly and be able to separate yourself a little bit from what's happening and view it from your seeds of consciousness,

I'm going a little bit deeper,

Then you're able to understand more of your nostalgia now,

Of your sweet moments of the thisness of your life now.

I think about when I'm trying to take a really,

Really close up photo of my,

When I'm taking,

Trying to take a really,

Really close up photo of my son's hair,

Just little baby,

Fine baby hairs.

And it almost can't focus.

And then I step back and you could see the whole of him.

But because of my attempt to focus that closely,

When I step back,

His hair doesn't get lost in the blur.

It doesn't become the forest through the trees.

I'm able to appreciate and see that in addition to the whole picture.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

It's like,

You can't unsee what you see.

You can't unfeel what you felt.

You know,

It all imprints in some way,

Shape or form.

So when you're choosing to photograph something super closely and then you back up and you take your regular photos that are further back again,

You're not really going to forget that experience of getting really close and what that was.

It's going to stay in your subconscious.

So let's talk about after we have taken the photo,

The gift reflecting through the photos,

Yourself and your life.

The gift,

A photo stays the same.

The conditions around it change immediately.

The second you're done taking the photo,

It's gone,

Gone forever.

Will you still care about the way you looked in this moment 10 years from now?

Will you still feel the same that you felt 10 years from now?

Will everyone that's in the photo or was around during the photo being taken still be here or has that changed?

I think about permanent action versus temporary feelings.

You know,

I feel like there's always someone,

Maybe it's you,

Maybe it's a family member,

That always tries to avoid the camera and get out of the way of the lens because of one reason or another.

But that's permanent action.

I think about how for so long in my life,

I really couldn't stand my profile.

I don't know,

We all have our weird things.

And I didn't like to see the little bump on my nose.

I mean,

For a really long time,

Anytime I saw a profile shot of me,

I was like,

Ugh,

I just didn't like it.

And then recently,

I took a portrait,

A self-portrait with my kids,

And it was a direct,

Actually it's the picture I used in the first slide,

Direct profile shot.

And not only did I all of a sudden not give a shit,

I liked it.

I really liked it.

And it made me feel powerful.

What if I spent my whole life avoiding that,

Avoiding that angle or deleting photos of that angle of myself?

For what?

And it's so empowering to me that I get to look at that and say,

You know,

Something that bothered me for so long,

Not only do I not care,

But I like it.

I actively like it.

And that photograph gave me that gift.

Quantity,

The more you have of something,

The less precious it may seem.

The less you have of something,

The more attention you will pay to what you do have.

So I think about photographs that might seem frivolous or irrelevant or just all in all not that important.

But if the thing that you're photographing is no longer here and the opportunity to take a photograph of that is gone,

All of a sudden the few photographs you have become very precious in an instant.

And I find this fascinating.

I had a great uncle.

It was actually like a second cousin,

Second or third cousin.

So sweet.

I had only seen him a couple of times,

And I had a few pictures of him,

But I had never really thought anything of it,

Never even really remembered the pictures I had of him.

And then he passed,

And I went like rifling through my photo scroll and my archives to find these random haphazard photos I had of him at some event.

And they became very important,

And I sent them to his family just so they would have a picture.

And what a gift.

They never had seen that before.

There was no real reason for me to forward them to them.

But this idea that you could have photographs of someone that is someone else's heart and life,

And you can send them to that person,

And they're new.

I hate this idea that when someone's gone,

It's like there's nothing new to happen.

But photographs are these nuggets of magic that can be forgotten about because of our memory and rediscovered.

And it's like a breath of fresh air.

These gifts of moments that meant everything in a moment but inevitably get blurred because of life and craziness and overstimulation and time.

But they're still there.

They're these opportunities of comfort and growth and transformation.

See,

Savor,

And save.

The more you notice what you notice,

The more you listen to your pings,

The more you will see and create an intentional life.

It's like when you're driving and someone says,

Red car,

You see red cars.

You see red cars everywhere.

When you know and you're more awake to what your soul wants to see,

You're more awake to your pings,

You will see more of those moments.

And this compounding effect of this,

With this practice,

We have a visual and physical way of processing our inner and outer worlds.

It is an active meditation and a wealth of self-discovery.

A visual and a physical way of processing.

Bring 20-20 hindsight into the now.

The practice of your photo taking keeps you intentional in your life and enables you to see more of your moments.

It enables us to witness ourselves in a new way.

Photographs help you gain the wiser,

Elevated perspective sooner than you might otherwise attain it.

The ordinary now becomes extraordinary later and we can bridge that gap.

Think about when I had severe postpartum depression after my first child and the photographs that I took when I was feeling like shit.

I just felt this urge to take selfies of myself in the middle of the night when I was just completely gone with tiredness and exhaustion and I didn't recognize myself or my life or my brain.

And I also had taken,

You know,

The cliché photos of,

Okay,

Put on a face and take a family portrait,

You know,

For the grandparents or whatever it is.

And when I look back at this photographs,

When I look at the ones that I had makeup on and I was smiling,

It makes me wildly uncomfortable because I remember what that felt like.

And I see the distinct mismatch of like what I was trying to portray and remembering how it felt.

But when I look at these photos of me looking like complete shit and just looking like I don't even recognize myself,

It's given me so much comfort and compassion for myself.

Like I see how far I've come.

It gives me this anchor point to orient myself to and understand what I used to feel like and what I feel like now.

It's given me the gift of feeling compassion for that girl.

When is the last time you can say that you truly felt a deep compassion for yourself?

Look at old photos of when you were a little kid,

Especially if you have kids now.

I mean,

Just think about that little girl that is you,

That little boy,

That little child that is you in the context of the children that you have or your nieces and nephews.

Photographs enable us to really play with our perspectives and enrich the ways in which we're choosing to think and process and reflect and understand the life that we're living,

The life that we've lived,

And the life that we want to live going forward.

So is this conversation kind of making you feel alive and tingly because I'm kind of tingly talking about this.

If you're craving more,

I have created completely one of a kind,

Definitely one of a kind experiences around this very topic.

I have a five-week deep dive course on harnessing your personal vision through your photo habit,

And that's called Manifest Your Memories.

And I've actually thought about changing the title because it's not about manifesting.

Manifest has become like a buzzword,

But manifest your memories is perfect because this idea that I just talked about,

About how when we are awake to the moments,

Our right moments,

The moments that are meant for us,

Not just the obligatory first day of school or Christmas photo,

If we really respect our reflexes and the photographs of the moments we want to take,

Then we can louten them and then we can create more of those core memories and those core experiences by valuing them and engaging in them in our photographs and showing gratitude in our photographs.

And it's just a beautiful cyclical complete experience.

And then we have my monthly membership,

And that is ongoing intention,

Support,

And connection.

It is the most sustainable,

Simple,

Doable way that I have created to really embed this practice into your life,

And that's nostalgia now.

That is seeing your nostalgia now.

That is our portal in which you have access to past sessions,

Videos of my podcast where we talk about all this goodness,

And we set a monthly intention,

And then we have one meeting a month,

And I provide a collage page through Canva.

And basically,

In that one night every month,

You take the time to look back at just a month of your life,

The last month,

And choose based on the prompts that I give in this collage page.

I call it a visual memoir page.

Three or four photos.

From your whole month,

You have to choose three or four,

And then this becomes this beautiful keepsake and tribute to the last month of your life.

And then we have basically like an adult show and tell,

And we all go around and talk about the pictures we chose and why and the whole experience.

And what I love so much about the compounding effect of this practice is that we're able to come awake.

We're able to really understand the life we're living versus the life that we are experiencing and the life that we're wanting,

And we're able to more closely hold to intention and pivot versus six months down the road thinking,

Oh,

My gosh,

I said I was going to do this.

Where has the time gone?

I think about sometimes I feel like,

Oh,

I feel very disconnected from my partner,

And then I'll look at the last month of images,

And he's not there.

And not to say that in order for me to show connection or care that I must have a million photos of him,

But I don't think it's a coincidence that if I'm feeling disconnected and that he doesn't show up in my very,

Very casual and upheld photo habit,

Then there's something there.

So it really helps us to get that bird's-eye view of our lives and of ourselves and understand and witness ourselves taking the photos,

Witness,

Like,

Hmm,

It's interesting that these are the photos of the last month of my life.

Why is that?

So my gift to you is integration.

So if you've made it through this whole class and you are lit up and you are loving this,

I am going to send you a link and invite you to drop in to one Nostalgia Now session for free so you can experience the goodness of it.

If we want to imprint this practice,

Integration is key.

So we have our meeting once a month,

And if you're interested in learning more and you actually just want to dive in,

Just send me a DM or check out my website,

And we can talk more about it.

Okay.

I thank you so deeply,

So much for taking the time out of your precious,

Precious life to be here with me and to learn about this,

And I would love to hear your experience.

If you ever want to share,

If something comes up or you have questions about this topic,

Feel free to DM me.

I love voice memoing,

And if you're curious more about my work,

I offer one-on-one mentoring.

Go to Biancaliamuora.

Com and just explore.

Okay.

I wish you all of the luck in your new harnessed vision activity,

Your daily photo taking.

Enjoy.

If you enjoyed this episode and want to get in on actual conversations with me,

Join the Help Me See podcast private Facebook group.

Every Friday at 12 p.

M.

Eastern time,

I'll be hopping on live for Q&A on the latest episode and for free consulting if you need a bit of help thinking about ways to save your memories.

Did you get something out of this episode?

I really,

Really,

Really hope you did,

And I would love to hear from you.

I'm on a mission to empower you to feel peace knowing that you are not missing your life.

One of the best ways that you can support me is leaving a review,

And honestly,

I'd rather hear about the memory you saved because of this podcast rather than any kind of accolade.

Tell me how this podcast has impacted you,

And one,

I'll probably cry,

And two,

I'd love to give you a shout-out on the show.

Take a minute and head out to the link in the bio to write a review now on the podcast.