What Am I Not Willing To Feel? - Day 4/365 In 2023

Hello my friends and welcome to this day number four out of 365 in 2023.

I think that I'm gonna stop saying this from tomorrow.

We all know what we're doing by now.

So the live is starting in like 20 seconds and I'm really tired in my body.

It's been two nights with some different things,

With the girls being sick,

But feeling good.

You know it's a rhythm,

You know,

I'm committed.

So here we go,

It's day number four and yeah,

Let's start the live event on InsideTimer.

Good morning,

Good morning,

Good evening.

Let me know how you guys are doing,

If sound and picture is okay.

I can see that we're already 20 meditators here gathered,

So that's beautiful,

24.

So let me know guys if sound and picture is okay.

I'm trying out a new setup here.

Hello Linda,

Peggy,

Amadine,

Pamela from Chicago,

Sean,

Good night,

Chicagoland as well,

Angel,

Sounds good,

Sounds good,

Sounds good,

Sounds good.

So yeah,

Well you know what you're here for,

Right?

We've got 12 minutes of meditation,

It's day four.

We've got the whole year ahead of us,

Lots of time to get to know each other,

Get to know,

You know,

Some more about meditation,

Get to know ourselves a lot better,

Right?

And I think that it's wonderful that you just say,

Good morning,

Good evening.

Filomena,

I love the name,

From Ottawa and Alma Lesse,

Welcome as well,

Maureen from Vancouver,

Canada.

So it's such a beautiful thing that we can have these sessions throughout,

You know,

The whole world and that we can share something that can actually have quite a significant positive change in each of our lives,

Right?

So yesterday,

I'm just going to share really shortly,

These sessions throughout the week are going to be the 12-minute sessions.

In the weekends,

I'm going to use more time because I'm like bursting with,

You know,

Information,

Techniques,

Models that I want to share with you guys.

But we need to stick to 12 minutes,

These working days and then weekends we're going to use more time.

Yesterday,

I had the intention of wanting to,

You know,

Also explore with you,

What happens when we meditate 20 minutes,

40 minutes,

60 minutes,

80 minutes?

What happens when we meditate 240 minutes straight?

Let's find out.

So that's going to be a topic throughout the year,

Building up the,

Let's call it discipline,

The resilience,

The stamina in meditating for longer stretches of time where I will be with you,

You will be with me for,

Let's say,

Two and a half hours.

So that's going to,

That's an intention for the rest of the year.

So,

Katerina from Tulsing in Denmark,

Wonderful to see more and more Danes coming in.

I know that Malene,

You're also from Denmark,

As far as I recall.

Journey from Wyoming,

Lisa Nada from Canada,

What's the name of the country?

Lisa Nada from Canada,

Wonderful.

Yeah,

Thanks a lot for that message,

Lisa Nada.

I'll get back to you probably by today,

Maybe by tomorrow,

But I will get back to you.

So,

Let's get to it.

If you're brand new to me,

What you can do afterwards is just connect on Carlos Circle,

Just follow me as teacher,

You will get the heads up on when I'm doing these lives and then just follow me or go into the circle.

And then there you will have the links for the different,

You know,

Sound recordings that I'm doing separately here in this device.

In case you miss out on some of the morning lives,

Then you can listen to it afterwards.

Okay,

Let's get to it.

So,

First step is for us to just settle in.

I love that picture that I was presented so many years ago in a meditation where the image is of a glass filled with,

I've changed the muddy water with apple juice.

You know,

When you've poured up a glass of freshly made apple juice and it's really not clear,

But when you stop stirring it,

It becomes more and more clear.

Everything just settles down.

So,

In this first step,

Just either have your eyes closed or your eyes open,

But just intentionally want to settle down.

And if you've been with me since day one and before,

You know what I'm going to ask you for,

Which is just a small smile.

Small enough so you can just feel it in your eyes,

In your lips,

Feel it in your heart.

And thoughts that might arise will just go away if you don't give them any energy.

So,

Any thoughts that might arise,

Just whenever you notice that you've drifted away,

Just come back to your breathing and just notice the physical sensation of you breathing without wanting to change anything.

It's just like if you've had a child,

You know how it is to be a parent and just looking at your kids breathing.

Just look at yourself breathing.

Just notice.

Just notice how you pull in the air,

How the air cools down the nostrils,

How you fill up the lungs.

Just notice how far down you breathe in.

Do you breathe in all the way down to the bottom of your lungs or just halfway?

Just notice.

Without changing anything.

Just being aware.

And also notice how you breathe out.

Do you do it calmly?

Do you do it fast?

Just noticing.

Now,

While you are calmly breathing,

Just move your attention to your eyes and make sure that your eyes are relaxed too.

Relax those eyelids,

The eye itself and the muscles behind the eyes.

You might want to,

With your hand,

Maybe massage your face a bit if you can feel that you're really tense.

And even your throat if you feel that there's some tension too.

Much of what we do with meditation is to create self-care,

Self-love.

So,

Relaxed eyes,

Small smile,

Conscious breathing and moving into this last step which is the reflection.

So,

Yesterday the statement,

The sentence was,

There's nothing,

Nothing at all to be afraid of.

And for today what I would like you guys to meditate on throughout the day,

And if it's late for you now,

Just ponder upon it before you go to bed and then when you wake up tomorrow,

Bring it into the day tomorrow.

And the question that we will ask ourselves today is,

What am I not willing to feel?

Which emotions am I not willing to feel?

So,

Now just ask yourself that question without answering it from a mental side.

The mental part can help,

But let the body,

Let the emotions,

Let the inner self answer which emotions,

What am I not willing to feel?

Inadequate,

Nervous,

Lonely,

Maybe even happy,

What am I not willing to feel?

Just calm the breathing.

And while we are still in this meditation,

Just slowly,

Slowly,

Slowly open your eyes again.

While you maintain the conscious breathing,

The relaxed eyes,

The small smile,

The sentence,

What am I not willing to feel?

So,

Whenever you might be experiencing contraction throughout the day,

Just be curious from a loving side,

From a part of you that wants really to get to know you better.

What am I not willing to feel?

What is this?

Why am I,

You know,

Struggling?

Why am I pushing away?

And then grab the journal or grab your phone or a piece of paper and just write that down.

So,

Day four,

What am I not willing to feel?

I'm laughing because Sam is asking,

Why is the dog crying?

Because he's a cry baby.

He's our little prince.

He's waiting for his mom,

My wife,

To come down.

And this is,

Oh,

This is my bigger dog.

Come here,

Lu.

This is the big one.

And then we've got a small one.

So,

Guys,

We're about to finish off for today.

If you've just come in now,

We are doing 365 days of live meditations.

And yeah,

It's just taking one day at a time.

And every day we're going to be doing practically the same thing,

You know,

And then extending it in the weekends,

Making sure that we day by day experience a transformation inside of us.

And I can 100% 100% guarantee you that if you stick to it,

When the year is over,

You will be different.

It's not me doing that.

It's you doing that.

It's because you decide every day to,

You know,

Focus on something that you've not been focusing on,

On a regular basis before.

So,

Thank you so much for being here.

And let me just see if there's any questions.

Let me know.

I'm staying down south today.

So I do have a bit more time if you have any questions.

So Lauren is asking longer ones on weekends,

She said.

Yes,

On the weekends.

You know,

What I want to do is also have enough time to really talk about stuff and share stuff with you where you can,

You know,

Pitch in with things and we can reflect on specific topics.

You guys that know me know that I've been struggling immensely with addiction to sugar,

To overeating,

Where this process,

You know,

Throughout the years has helped me tremendously.

Some of you know that I've been really into fasting,

Water fasting.

I'm really also into understanding spirituality,

Understanding the heart.

So there's so many beautiful topics for us to work on.

And weekends,

Still going to do the primary thing,

Which is the 12 minutes.

But after that,

Going into different topics,

You might have some questions,

Something that you want to,

You know,

Want us to explore together.

And then there's the other part that I also mentioned,

Which is I'm going to set up some separate live events because my mind,

My heart was challenging me a bit yesterday and telling me,

You know,

That it's fine with the 12 minutes.

And I'm going to say what I was thinking,

But it's pissing in your pants.

It feels good for a bit,

But then it's over,

Right?

And I think that the message to myself is that it's fine,

Beautiful with the daily meditations,

Beautiful with the length of it,

But also challenge myself on doing prolonged meditations,

Like almost as if we're doing retreats.

So what I want to do is on weekends,

Either Saturdays or Sundays,

To have this challenge.

I don't know if the word challenge is the right one,

But it doesn't matter.

Have these lives where the title is going to be,

What happens if we meditate 20 minutes?

Let's find out.

40 minutes?

Let's find out.

60 minutes?

Let's find out.

What happens if we meditate for 320 minutes straight?

Let's find out.

Right?

So for anyone of you guys that think that,

Wow,

I've never meditated for more than,

Let's say,

An hour or an hour,

We're going to meditate an hour,

Let's find out what happens.

Because it's very different from person to person.

I've maxed out at two hours.

What happens if I meditate four hours?

Let's find out.

So let's use this year for exploration,

For being creative.

Let's use it for whatever we can.

So this is Lou saying goodbye,

And this is me saying goodbye.

Thank you for now.

I'll just write here,

Let me see,

Carla's Circle.

So he wants to go for a walk.

So if I'm new to you,

Just click the follow teacher,

Add yourself to the Carla's Circle,

You will find the links for the other days.

I have created a SoundCloud profile,

Where I've made a playlist.

So if you miss out days,

You can just go in and pick it up from there.

So guys,

Thank you so much.

Thank you for the nice words.

Thank you for showing up.

You are helping me,

Helping you.

So that's a really,

That's a good bargain.

So thank you,

Linda.

Thank you,

Amadine,

Sammy.

Thank you,

Mark,

Malina.

Thank you,

Lisa Nada,

Amadine,

Andrea.

Thank you,

Lauren.

Let's see who else is out there.

Thank you,

Katarina,

Malina,

Karina,

Journey,

Alma,

Les,

Filomena.

Thank you,

Sean.

Thank you,

Angel.

Thank you,

Everybody.

So guys,

Thank you,

Tanya as well.

Gracias a todos.

And I'll see you back tomorrow.

Oh,

Have a beautiful one.

Bye bye,

Guys.

Bye bye.

So that was the end of day four.

I could definitely feel how me being tired also affects.

But what I'm really grateful for is that it's just another part of me,

Right?

Like,

Whenever you're tired,

It's just another part of you.

And the meditation for me,

This one today,

Is super important because noticing what I'm not willing to feel just opens the door to really being spot on in regards to what do I want to feel?

And how can what I'm not willing to feel open the door to that?

Because every time there's something that I don't want to feel,

I'm,

You know,

Closing down,

Closing down.

So let's continue the journey.

Thank you so much for being on board.

And I'll see you guys back tomorrow.

Thank you so much.

Bye bye.