Embracing The Unknown, Not The Fear

Change is a constant in life,

Full stop.

Whether we want it or not,

Change is inevitable.

If it's the kind we plan for,

Or desire,

Or the unexpected,

Not-so-welcome kind,

Either way,

It brings uncertainty,

And with that,

Fear naturally pops up.

This is totally understandable because we're human.

We crave security.

It's in our DNA.

In our primitive brain,

Staying safe and avoiding danger was how we survived.

A side note here,

By the way,

Can you imagine what cozy would have looked like in cave times?

Probably something pretty basic,

But still,

It was all to do with safety.

But here's the thing.

While that ancient part of our brain is wired to protect us,

It doesn't always serve us well today,

Especially when it comes to change.

Resisting change doesn't make it go away.

It just makes life harder.

In fact,

It can sabotage our growth and our renewal.

Instead of seeing change as a threat,

How about shifting our perspective to view it as an opportunity for transformation?

I know this might be a hard pill to swallow when you're in the thick of it,

But it is what will save you.

I remember many times in my life when I faced uncertainty and felt fearful.

As I said earlier,

It's natural.

The key difference is learning how to manage the fear rather than letting it take over.

Of course,

When I was younger,

I didn't have the experience and knowledge I have today as a coach or as a 55-year-old woman,

Although I probably had more energy back then.

So it was harder,

But it was doable.

I remember so well when I was,

I think it was about 23 years old and I got fired.

I was devastated because it was a job I liked and my boss really liked me too and I did it quite well,

My work,

But I got a scholarship at the time to do a translation course and the times would clash with my working times and my boss wasn't flexible enough anyway to keep me there in different hours,

So she let me go and I thought,

Oh,

Wow,

Okay,

What am I going to do now?

And I had this impulse to start my own business instead of looking for a new job because I had learned so much in that job.

It was a PR office and I was an assistant.

So the idea was exciting,

But also very daunting at the same time.

I had so many doubts and voices in my head telling me to just find another job instead and play it safe,

But the calling to start my business was so strong and I knew deep down that I could do and create so much more if I followed that path.

And I did it.

It was scary.

I felt unsafe.

I didn't make much money for a while,

But you know what?

That was the start of a successful PR business and career I had for nearly 10 years.

Right now,

You might be facing a situation where you don't have all the answers and you're unsure how it's going to unfold.

There is that unknown element.

And what does our mind do?

It tries to convince us that we need to have everything figured out,

The how,

Or else it feels like we are in real danger.

That's our primitive brain talking,

Remember?

Let's give it some credit and compassion because it's trying to protect us after all.

But in this case,

It's not doing us much good,

Right?

Think about it.

The situation you're facing is new.

Otherwise,

You would know exactly what to do,

Or kind of,

Because even when something feels familiar,

There are always new elements to it.

Life is never static.

So when you're dealing with a challenge or transition,

Your mind tells you that you need all the answers to handle it.

But since this is new territory,

How could you possibly have all the information beforehand?

It's impossible.

You can gather some knowledge,

You can prepare yourself,

But you won't be fully equipped because you haven't done it before.

A good example is becoming a parent for the first time.

No matter how many books you read or classes you take,

There are so many things you'll only figure out as you go.

And even if it's your second or third child,

Each one is different,

So there's always an element of the unknown.

Now,

Think about a time in your life when you were facing a transition,

A big change,

Taking your next big step.

I'm sure you have one.

Maybe you had some preparation and information,

But you still didn't feel 100% ready.

You probably felt scared,

Maybe even a little freaked out,

But you did it.

You took the step,

Just like I did when I was 23,

And you landed on the other side.

You had the experience,

It was rich,

You learned so much,

And you grew from it.

You'd definitely do it again,

Wouldn't you?

At the time,

You likely felt just like you do now,

Facing this new situation.

But can you see that without the uncertainty,

Without the unknown,

You wouldn't have grown or savored the experience in the same way?

The unknown is what helps us evolve and discover new possibilities and another side of ourselves.

Right now,

I'm facing yet another phase of uncertainty.

Hello,

Hello.

I'm moving countries,

And I don't even know,

I'm not sure where my base will be for the long term,

Or even for how long.

I'm leaving next week,

And all my plans are temporary at this point.

I've been working a lot with my fears,

Questioning them and creating space for new thoughts and perspectives to guide and inspire me.

And of course,

Appreciating where I am right now,

While recognizing how the universe has always looked after me,

Brings me a sense of peace.

That's a thought that serves me.

The universe has always and will always look after me.

So in that way,

It's so much easier to keep moving forward into the unknown that's awaiting for me.

And it's awaiting all of us in some way or another.

But I want to be real here.

This journey is not all smooth sailing,

Even if you're doing it consciously.

There are inevitable ups and downs.

I allow myself my down days.

I feel overwhelmed,

I cry sometimes,

But I also remind myself that those feelings are just for the day,

And I'll rise again the next day.

The key is being gentle with myself when I'm feeling low,

Practicing self-compassion,

And letting myself feel whatever comes up without judging my feelings,

Without trying to fix or solve the problem or my feelings,

And without staying stuck in the drama.

That's the secret.

I used to get caught up in the emotional turmoil,

But now I know how to dip my toe in it,

Allow myself to feel,

And then step back out.

It's about honoring the emotions without letting them take over and trusting that I'll always find my way back to clarity and strength.

So what if we approach change differently?

Instead of viewing the unknown as something to be feared,

We can soften around the idea of uncertainty,

That it isn't as bad as we make it mean.

We don't need to have all the answers for what's coming next.

First of all,

That's impossible.

And to be honest,

Wouldn't life be kind of boring if we did?

It's the unpredictable,

The mystery that adds somehow excitement to the journey,

If you can get comfortable enough to see it that way.

So how do we start to embrace the unknown and move forward despite the fear?

Here are a couple of simple steps that have helped me and my clients over and over,

Over the years.

Number one,

Come back to the now.

Fear often comes from the stories we project into the future,

Imagining all the ways things could go wrong.

This only creates worry,

Which,

As Eckhart Tolle wisely says,

And I completely agree,

Pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.

So I'll say it again.

Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.

When fear strikes,

It's important to stop your brain from wandering to places that don't serve you.

It's like instead of letting your thoughts run the show,

You get to run it.

The most powerful way to do it is to bring your attention to the present moment.

Be in the now.

You can use many different mindfulness practices for this,

Like meditation,

Breath work,

Yoga,

Or simply focusing on your breathing.

One of my favorites is this last one,

Is becoming aware of your breath.

Just notice your in-breath and out-breath.

No effort,

Just observation.

You can do it now here with me.

Consciously breathe in and breathe out.

That's already one moment where you're right here in the now and not lost in your fears.

Do it once,

Twice,

Three times,

And what you'll find is that the more you practice,

The more naturally you will stay in the present.

The second one is intuitive journaling.

I love this practice.

It's simple and so powerful.

It helps you get out of your head and can lead to quite profound insights connecting you with your inner wisdom,

Your soul,

Your guidance.

Start by asking yourself questions like,

What is my soul calling me to do?

Or what does life want from me now?

Or maybe,

How can I serve in divine order and for the highest good of everyone?

Then just start writing.

Let your words flow without judging or analyzing.

Let your soul talk to you.

I also believe our spirit guides contribute to this process,

So listen.

Let your inner voice lead.

And you'll find that the messages you need to hear start to reveal themselves.

This practice is incredibly powerful for deepening intuition,

Building trust in yourself and in the process,

And aligning with the natural flow of life.

It will help you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Uncertainty will always be there in some form or another.

So the question becomes,

Where can we find certainty in uncertainty?

The answer is within.

The only reliable source of certainty is in your inner world,

Your mindset,

Your openness,

Your flexibility,

And your ability to adapt.

In our lives today,

We don't need the same level of primal fear to protect us.

And what about that discomfort we feel when we step into the unknown?

Well,

That's what pushes us beyond our comfort zone.

It's what creates growth.

And that,

I believe,

Is what we're here for,

Growing and evolving.

Here are a few more thoughts to help you in this journey.

Understand and acknowledge your fears.

Fear is just a sensation,

A vibration running through your body.

It's not an enemy,

It's not a monster lurking in the dark,

And it's definitely not who you are.

The moment you allow yourself to feel it without resistance is the moment it starts losing its power over you.

Explore the unknown.

Instead of fearing it,

Get curious.

What new opportunities might this change bring?

What strengths could you discover within yourself as you navigate this?

When we shift from fear to curiosity,

The unknown becomes less intimidating.

Reframe your perspective.

Instead of seeing uncertainty as a threat,

Start reframing it in a way that serves you.

Ask yourself,

How could this change be for my benefit?

What can I learn here?

Shifting your mindset can completely transform how you experience change.

In the end,

Change isn't something to be feared or resisted.

It's a gateway to growth,

Transformation,

And if you let it,

A life full of unexpected,

Unthinkable,

And amazing possibilities and growth.

Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for listening.

And I hope this has helped you in some way or another.

See you soon.