Hey,
I'm Chibso Karake.
Welcome to The Daily Striver.
In a world where everyone seems to be talking,
Truly listening has become a rare skill.
For strivers like us it's easy to get caught up in thinking ahead,
Formulating responses or multitasking when we're in the middle of a conversation.
Now not to call you out or anything but how often do you find yourself preparing a response before the other person has even finished speaking?
There's a great line from Stephen R.
Covey that I love.
He says,
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand,
They listen with the intent to reply.
Today we're going to explore how shifting from reactive listening to active listening can transform your relationships,
Your work and even how you see the world.
Alright,
Before we dive into the reflections,
Let's calm the body down with some breathing and a quick body scan.
Find a comfortable position,
Eyes open or closed and let's begin by taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out.
Breathing in as the body expands breathing out as the body softens.
Now take a couple more slow breaths in and out.
Okay good and now let's do a quick body scan.
As we breathe in,
I want you to notice any areas of tension or discomfort and as we breathe out,
Imagine releasing that tension.
Now let's begin at the forehead,
A place that many of us tend to store tension.
Is the forehead relaxed or is it tight and tense and can we relax the forehead by five or ten percent?
Now relaxing the jaw,
Another place we tend to hold tension.
Now relaxing the neck and the shoulders.
Can we breathe into the neck and shoulders and then release tension as we breathe out?
Relaxing the arms and the hands relaxing the chest,
The stomach,
The back,
Relaxing the whole torso.
Breathing in as the body expands breathing out as the body softens.
Relaxing the legs and relaxing the feet.
We're resting,
We're letting go,
We're allowing the body to settle.
Okay good.
Now that we're feeling relaxed and centered,
I want you to think about the last conversation you had.
Were you truly present?
Were you listening to understand?
Or were you already formulating your response?
And now picture yourself in that same conversation.
This time imagine you're fully focused on what the other person is saying.
There's no rush to respond,
No need to jump in.
As you breathe in,
Picture yourself absorbing their words and as you breathe out,
Let go of the urge to respond immediately.
You're just listening.
As you take another deep breath in,
Imagine how the quality of your relationships might change if you spent more time truly listening.
Nelson Mandela was a master of active listening.
During the negotiations to end apartheid,
Mandela would listen intently even to those he deeply disagreed with.
He once said,
If you want to make peace with your enemy,
You have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
This deep listening,
Especially in such tense situations,
Was crucial in creating a peaceful transition and earned him respect on all sides.
Mandela's ability to listen,
Not just with his ears but with his heart,
Allowed him to create partnerships where none seemed possible.
Today,
When you have your next conversation,
Make a point to practice active listening.
Let go of the need to respond immediately and focus entirely on what the other person is saying.
After they finish,
Paraphrase what you heard to make sure that you understood them and ask at least one open-ended question.
Notice how this deepens the conversation and makes the other person feel truly heard.
Active listening is a superpower in today's world.
It builds trust,
Creates deeper connections and helps you grow by opening your mind to new ideas.
If you haven't already done so,
Feel free to crack open the eyes and come back to the room.
Thanks for joining me.
I'm Jibzo Karakeh and I'll see you tomorrow for The Daily Striver.
