How to Find Calm in the Chaos of Running a Business

Hello and welcome to the CalmCast,

A time to feel calm and think clearly.

I'm Clare Downam,

The Queen of Calm,

A Transformational Life Coach.

I was a burnt out head teacher who finally made the journey to calm after years of trying,

And I want to prevent you from having to do the same.

The CalmCast is a series of short explorations gently guiding you back to your natural state,

Which is calm and clarity.

Just listen like you would listen to music,

With an open mind and curiosity.

There's nothing else to do.

Now let's relax into today's episode.

So today I'm talking about how to find calm in the chaos of running a business,

But whether you're running a business or not,

Perhaps your life is chaotic,

Perhaps you're,

Or you could be a very busy professional perhaps,

Or doing something else where life is seeming like it's chaos.

And what I'm starting to do now at the beginning of these broadcasts is just tell you where I'm coming from,

The perspective that I'm coming from.

What I share,

The teachings that I share are known as the three principles,

Or is known as the three principles,

And it's a really simple understanding of how our mind works.

It's principle based,

Which is great because it's a truth.

It's a bit like gravity.

It's kind of working all the time when you know about gravity and you and I as adults know about gravity really well,

Because we've got this deep embodied understanding of it,

Which we learned when we were very small.

And once you know about that,

You navigate life with more ease,

Don't you?

And really when you understand the three principles,

You navigate life with more ease.

It's not a set of tools and techniques.

It's not NLP.

It's not any other self-development.

I won't be telling you what to do.

It is descriptive and not prescriptive.

I'm just starting to say a little bit about it at the beginning of these broadcasts,

Because what I want you to hear in that is find out about the three principles.

If it isn't through me,

Go read a book,

Go watch some videos,

You know,

Look it up on the internet.

It is the most transformational thing that you can be involved in.

And it takes so much off your mind.

If you are a busy business owner,

If you've got a lot on your plate,

You can have some of that subtracted,

Because I tell you what,

Most of what's causing chaos in your life is not the outside world.

It is how you're thinking about it.

And when you start to see that,

It's phenomenally transformational.

The three principles are thought,

Consciousness,

And mind.

So you probably understand thought and consciousness quite easily.

You know,

We're thinking beings,

We're conscious beings.

That's just two truths about human beings.

The final principle,

Mind,

Is not this space inside our heads.

It is to do with the aliveness that is us.

So it's universal mind.

It's the energy of life,

The energy of the universe,

God,

Whatever you want to call it,

Really.

It doesn't really matter.

You can call it whatever you like.

I like to call it the energy of nature,

Because I like to reference that we are part of that out there,

As I stand here in my red brick house,

That we are part of nature.

And I think probably after this,

I'm going to go for a walk in nature,

Actually.

So today,

Chaos,

Not chaos on this session at all,

But exploring chaos,

Exploring the chaos of running a business.

Or you can put anything you like after chaos.

You can put the chaos of having small children,

Or the chaos of having elderly parents,

Or whatever seems to be chaotic in your life.

And chaos is interesting,

Isn't it?

And I see this sometimes in my own interactions with other people.

I have quite often have clients who book Discovery calls or sessions with me,

And I'll message them maybe just before,

Or just as we're about to start the call,

Just to say,

Just checking you've got the link.

We're talking to you in five minutes.

And they have not any idea that they're supposed to be talking to me.

Bearing in mind,

I didn't book the session they did.

And I feel a deep,

When I speak to somebody like that,

Or message somebody like that,

I feel a deep feeling of compassion towards them,

Because there's something there about,

I guess,

Having a very busy mind,

And therefore forgetting things that you've booked into your diary,

Or not putting them in your diary,

I suppose.

Now that is,

I realise that,

As I'm saying it,

It sounds a bit judgy.

It's not meant to be.

It's meant to be saying that,

In this world we live in,

It's very busy,

It seems very chaotic.

And it really does,

It's really easy to go,

Oh,

It's all this stuff out,

All this stuff that's happening in my life.

But none of that stuff is happening all the time.

So you may have a lot to manage in your life,

You may have a lot to think about,

You may have small children,

Or teenage children,

And elderly parents,

And a busy business,

Or a busy working life,

You may have a lot of going on in your life.

Nobody is,

I am not discounting that,

Or saying that it doesn't exist.

However,

That is not where this chaotic feeling comes from.

The chaotic feeling does come from how we're then thinking about it.

And if you are feeling like you're in chaos right now,

There's probably some awareness,

Because you're here listening to this,

That there's something in your thoughts that are contributing to that.

There's probably a lot of them,

That's the first thing.

How much of that chaos is really in the world,

And how much is that there's just so much going on in your thinking.

So much thinking,

Overthinking,

Going round and round in circles thinking,

I mean it's got lots of shapes probably,

Spiralling thinking,

You know,

Just a lot of it.

And it can look like that that's reality,

That now I feel terrible and overwhelmed and stressed and anxious,

Because this life of mine is chaotic.

But in actual fact,

The reality,

As in present moment,

Because that's really where we're pointing to here,

That that's reality,

There is only now.

There's only really what you've got to do right now.

So for me,

I've got a few things to do today,

But actually I'm going to go for a walk,

And probably go for a walk after this in nature.

But there's only what I'm doing right now.

What I'm doing right now is talking to you,

Making this session,

That's it,

There's nothing else to do.

My head will occasionally flip off,

Don't forget to do that today,

And sometimes have a little piece of paper and write things down.

Sometimes while I'm talking to you I just have to write something down so I don't forget,

And that's fine.

But it's not the stuff,

It's not all the stuff,

It's the way we're thinking about the stuff.

And often with the feeling of chaos or overwhelm,

I think they're probably in a similar ballpark,

Overthinking,

Overwhelm,

Chaos,

Stress,

Anxiety,

They all kind of come together in a probably horrible,

Gloopy,

Soup thing.

With all of those things we can end up adding more into the system to try and sort them out.

So if you're feeling stressed it might look like you need to do some stress management techniques,

Which kind of adds another layer of stuff into your busy,

Already busy mind,

Into your psychological space I suppose,

And then it can seem like there's just more to do,

But there actually is.

Because none of it needs to be done now,

It's stuff that's going to come,

You're going to come to as you go through your day.

And what's also interesting,

That if there practically is a lot to do in your life,

Then being present is,

And therefore calm,

Is the best place for you to be to get stuff done.

And when I talk to my clients I often find that they are off somewhere else,

And when they begin to get calmer they go,

God I'm getting so much done,

I finished work early,

Because I kind of just went right,

These are the things I have to get through today,

And I'll just do those.

And one at a time they went through the tasks they needed to do,

Becoming more and more calm,

More and more focused on the present moment,

And therefore because you're focusing really well on what's in front of you,

And not on the rest of the chaos in your head,

You do get more done.

I have never been so productive as I am now,

And I think it is from this place of calm,

It's phenomenal what's available to us when we're there.

So when I entitle this How to Find Calm,

I do say how,

But I'm not really pointing to how,

Sorry about that,

I really am pointing to how it works really,

Because the How to Find Calm for me is really very simple.

First of all it's knowing that it's there,

That it isn't anywhere else,

It's inside you is calm,

Which means that sometimes when we're feeling like there's a lot going on,

It can just be a breath,

A feeling of our feet on the floor,

Grounding ourselves into the present moment,

And creating just a pause can be enough.

When our life feels chaos we can also feel that feeling of urgency,

Where it feels like everything's got to be done right now,

And we will be off in the future again trying to sort things out.

Actually a feeling of urgency isn't telling you to go faster,

It's telling you that you've got urgent thinking,

And urgent thinking is not,

Can you imagine if you were having surgery and the surgeon came in,

You'd probably be unconscious anyway,

But the surgeon came in,

Maybe you're working,

You're a nurse,

You're supporting a surgeon,

He comes in all like oh let's just get this sorted,

Let's get it done really fast,

Let's crack on,

I've got a golf game to go to,

Sorry,

It's judging surgeons that they go off and play golf,

But you know you would just be like hey hang on a minute,

Perhaps pop the scalpel down over there and give yourself a moment mate,

You're not ready to do this,

But yet we feel that really,

If we experience that feeling of urgency and chaos in ourselves we think we've got to go faster,

And then in actual fact the calm is the precursor to the best productivity,

So how do we find that?

Well we start by knowing it's there,

We start by knowing that it isn't in the world out there,

That it's inside us,

And then once we know it's inside us and we're caught up in chaotic feelings,

Then we'll find a way there.

My way is often just,

It is just a breath and feeling my feet on the floor,

But that's my way,

But it isn't,

I was just actually listening to a lovely friend of mine,

In this video,

Which is about physical health,

It's huge,

It's about menopause and stuff like that,

But this man had done a study about,

You know,

Like stress management techniques,

But breathing techniques,

And found that it was really just a few moments of breathing each day that was as effective as hours of meditation in terms of bringing people back into the present moment,

And it's not just the breathing,

It's noticing the breathing,

Because when you're noticing your breathing or you're noticing your physical body,

You can only be in the present moment,

You can't be anywhere else,

Because your physical body doesn't time travel,

You're not Doctor Who,

Other time traveling heroes are available I'm sure,

But Doctor Who would of course be the night one that I talk about.

So the chaos is created in your thinking,

And just knowing that's helpful,

And the calm is available and inside you all the time,

That's the other truth.

So with those two truths on board,

I hope that you can navigate all of your life with a little bit more ease,

Please do reach out if you'd like to,

Converse about that,

But also my subject for this month is problem solving and decision making,

Both of which are done better when we're calm and not caught up in chaos,

So if you've got anything you'd like me to talk to or about over that period,

Please do get in touch and I'll try and cover that in one of my sessions.

So I hope you find that helpful,

Lots of love,

Take care.

Thank you so much for listening,

There's nothing to do now but bring some awareness to how this is working out in your life.

Listen regularly to experience longer and longer periods of calm.

This has been the Calm Cast with Claire Downer,

Queen of Calm.

Take care and keep listening.