Hi,
This is Clay Stevenson and welcome to Of Mice and Moments,
A podcast that finds significance in the small moments.
My dad's death changed my life.
His vitality at 62 was impressive.
He worked full time,
Was physically active and had a rich social life.
If you know the Enneagram,
He was a seven.
A gregarious person and a true optimist.
Even on death's doorstep,
He held on to hope.
His optimism was inspiring and contagious.
His swift battle with pancreatic cancer was honestly a blessing.
It allowed us all to hope until the last moments.
I've realized since that he needed to deal with death in that way.
We all needed that.
As I mentioned,
I changed through the experience.
Yes,
It was hard.
Yes,
I grieved and yes,
I felt a hollow pit in my stomach for a very long time afterwards.
But I'm not attempting to walk through the grieving process in this podcast.
However,
I would feel remiss not acknowledging the pain,
But the pain I let go.
The lessons I strive to hold on to.
And following are four beautiful lessons I learned.
Fortunately I grew up with a loving dad.
For that reason I'm blessed.
I recognize that blessing.
That was not a result of anything I did and I see how seemingly rare and special it is in this day and age.
Of all of the things that have allowed me to have a good life,
I imagine that this is perhaps the greatest of all.
With that said,
I strive to be a loving dad above all else and encourage all dads to do the same.
This doesn't mean that an absence of a loving dad leads to an unhappy life.
Only that if you didn't have a loving dad your path is different.
With different challenges that lead you to be a stronger person in some ways.
With potentially different needs than mine.
Something I noticed when my dad died was that because he was so loving and supportive that even in my thirties I still greatly depended on him.
I found myself floundering in uncharted waters after his death.
Who would I call with questions about the washing machine?
Who would I talk to about big decisions I'm facing?
Who would be my workout partner?
Who would give me a big hug and make me feel like everything's okay?
The answer was other friends and family would be instrumental in filling these roles in my life.
Of course not in the same way.
But more importantly I would be required to step up to help fill these roles for others.
Because you see the first lesson I learned was that I could grow up.
Life had prepared me and I was strong enough to bear the weight of responsibility and be the love that my dad had been to the world.
Shortly after my dad's death I remember finding a moth in the house.
I carefully picked it up and gently carried it outside to let it free.
I didn't want it to experience death.
I had enough of death to last a lifetime.
If there was a chance for me to allow something else to live a little longer I wanted to do what I could to allow life.
People,
Animals,
Bugs,
Plants.
The second lesson from my dad's death was that I learned to value life in a new transcendent way.
With a new value on life I caught myself feeling more deeply for my friends,
Family and community.
Stories of pain,
Injustice and suffering rocked me deep down.
I looked at everyone differently.
Each person became a beautiful divine life that existed in this moment.
I realized my privilege to be able to experience moments with each and every one.
I thought I had love in my heart prior to my dad's death.
But the third lesson I learned was to truly and deeply love my neighbor.
The month following my dad's death an issue arose at work.
As the parties involved stated their cases and made their arguments I remember feeling indifferent to the outrage on both sides.
Sure I agreed with one more so than the other but as I considered their positions I couldn't help but feel that the disagreement was trivial.
I wanted to grab and shake them and let them know that it didn't really matter who was right.
They were alive.
They were beautiful creatures with the fortune to commune and care for each other.
At the end of the day who won the argument would make little difference.
But our shared experiences and the community we could build may change our futures in such positive ways that the ripple of love might touch the other side of the world or the other side of the universe.
The fourth lesson opened my eyes to the false narratives in life.
I had been concerned about so many things that were unimportant but now I could see them for what they were and I turned away.
I would choose to concentrate on people and actions that were truly meaningful.
So how about you?
Have you experienced a loss that has turned your world upside down?
Or maybe your world has lost some meaning and you need a reminder of the treasure that is life.
It starts with believing in yourself.
Not that you can't depend on others but we all have an inner strength that we can foster and grow allowing us to thrive in the face of adversity.
That strength may be directly proportional to the difficulties you've had in life.
How could your life improve if you allowed those difficulties to make you stronger?
My difficulties have driven me to love more and love more deeply.
To value life and put aside petty arguments and false narratives.
The now can be beautiful even in the midst of a struggle.
So I encourage you to appreciate life and treasure your connections in your every experience.
And choose to give love and build up.
In doing so you may find the happiness and peace you deserve.
God Bless.
God Bless.
God Bless.
God Bless.
God Bless.
