Hi,
Hello,
How are you?
Welcome to In My Head,
A new series of talks that I'm going to be giving on Insight Timer,
Specifically related to mental health and emotional well-being.
My name is Shanna Moyer.
I'm a mental health counselor,
An ADHD management specialist,
And a trauma support specialist based out of London,
Ontario.
I'm also a human who exists with late-diagnosed ADHD,
And I'm a parent of two neuro-spicy ADHDers.
I know a thing or two about how the brain works,
Why we are the way we are,
And how the world just has not been created with neurodiverse humans in mind.
So my hope with this new series of lectures here at Insight Timer is that you will take away one little sliver,
One nugget,
Every single time,
That helps you understand your brain and helps you embrace who you are.
Today in In My Head,
I want to talk about the importance of celebrating.
It might seem like a really insignificant thing.
We celebrate things like birthdays,
Anniversaries,
Weddings,
And babies.
But we don't necessarily celebrate that time that you went back to that place that made you feel a lot of shame,
And you stood there bravely in your own conviction,
Understanding that the reason why you didn't really understand trigonometry in grade 11 wasn't because you were stupid.
It was because you have ADHD,
And your brain simply doesn't work in numbers.
Celebrating is something that we do all the time.
It really doesn't take much to celebrate.
But it takes a lot to celebrate the individual.
We have all of these big milestones that we go to,
Events that we attend.
We have no problem getting up on a chair and hooting and hollering,
Yelling at a concert,
And celebrating,
Joining other people in celebration of them.
But when was the last time you actually sat and celebrated you?
And why exactly is that important?
So today we're talking about the importance of celebrating.
In my own opinion,
I think it is tremendously important to celebrate the individual.
If you've ever had an individual counseling session with me,
You'll know that I often ask,
How are you going to celebrate that at the end of your session?
Once we get through something that was really difficult to talk about,
Or we unlock a root of trauma,
Or we're able to just sit in a little bit of tenderness and quiet to understand why you work the way that you do,
I will ask you,
How are you going to celebrate that?
The reason why I ask you this is because celebrating the self,
Especially when you are a human who has been potentially bullied,
A human who has been put down because of how your brain works,
People have tolerated you.
People have allowed themselves to be around you and,
You know,
Accept that you have neurodiversity.
They accept that your brain is ADHD,
That maybe you're a little impulsive,
Maybe you have too many hobbies,
Maybe you're a daydreamer and you are forgetful,
And you're the type of friend that is out of sight,
Out of mind sometimes.
The fact of the matter is ADHDers spend a lot of time with intrusive thoughts and shame spirals.
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing wrong with me.
Both of my kids have ADHD and they come by it very honestly because they got it from their mama.
We still celebrate when we can emotionally regulate.
Are we overstimulated in the grocery store and instead so we decide to use the click-and-collect function at the grocery store to make it easier for our brain?
That is worthy of celebration because it's you patting yourself on the back and saying,
Hey,
You put yourself first there.
You worked within your window of tolerance.
You conquered something that was really hard and you did it in a way that works for your brain.
These little milestones,
These little things that we can celebrate for ourselves heal something deep inside.
It's no longer a situation where we're looking for the big things.
I was saying to someone the other day that it's actually the small things that matter.
All of those small moments of taking notice,
Of being thoughtful,
Of being considered,
That when you pull all of those small things together,
They come together to combine into a big thing.
Why do we wait to only celebrate the big ones?
Why aren't we celebrating all of the small moments where we're conquering a fear?
Where maybe someone has told us in the past,
I think back to when I was running all the time and I did it because someone told me that I couldn't.
Every medal that is hanging on my wall in my home gym is a celebration of self because somewhere in my past someone told me I wasn't athletic,
I wasn't capable,
And I would never measure up.
I would never amount to anything that was worth crossing a finish line.
I proved them wrong and if I can celebrate proving them wrong physically,
Why am I not celebrating proving them wrong mentally?
Why am I not sinking into a space where the artwork in my art journal is a celebration of self every single time I turn the page?
Why am I not sinking into a self that every poem that gets written,
Every class here at Insight Timer,
Every client that I am able to work with is a celebration of self because it's me showing up not just for me but for other people too.
The impact,
The importance of celebrating is not just in the celebration itself,
It's in the deeper healing elements that come with celebrating and it's not boastful.
We're not being arrogant here.
We're simply saying,
Hey I did something and it might seem really small to you that I went back to that art teacher and said I'm sorry that I was so defiant and so rude to you in my final art class.
I have oppositional defiance disorder,
That's where that came from.
I have ADHD,
That's why I didn't want to use the watercolor pencils because simply you were telling me to.
I needed to find my own way and the celebration was that I went on to get my Bachelor of Fine Arts and graduate at the top of my class with incredibly high praise from the painting instructor who was an artist herself.
We need to take more time to celebrate our own individual achievements no matter how big or how small.
The small ones are so worth celebrating.
Opening up a dating profile and putting yourself out there,
Being open and honest and maybe letting down the drawbridge around your heart so someone can cross the moat.
That is worthy of celebration.
Every single moment that you do something for yourself,
Where you put yourself first and you do it even though you are trembling in your shoes,
Is worthy of celebration.
So I ask you,
When was the last time that you celebrated yourself?
When was the last time that you overcame something that was really difficult because you have ADHD?
Celebrate it if you haven't yet and celebrate it again if you already have because you're worth it.
You're not broken,
You just have ADHD.
