In this go-go-go society that favors instant gratification,
Multitasking,
Extroversion,
And willingness to sacrifice precious time,
Solitude is rarely modeled as a significant value.
That wasn't always the case though.
Historically,
There have been significant moments in life that allowed for time to be alone.
After birth and after a death.
This alone time was provided so that we could grow from these experiences.
There wasn't an expectation to heal and move on in six to eight weeks.
Or worse,
Three days.
Somewhere down the line these rites of passage were lost.
We've been conditioned to put on a brave face and keep producing,
Contributing,
Expending.
This is why it's important to give ourselves that alone time during meditation.
In order to grow,
We need to distance ourselves from our issues.
We can do that by training ourselves to become the observer.
When we're too close to a situation,
We're too attached to our desired outcomes,
Too emotionally invested.
And when emotion mind is activated,
Facts,
Reason,
And logic are not important.
Or the opposite occurs.
We become so overwhelmed by our emotions that we outright avoid them,
Shut them down.
We lean too heavily on facts,
Reason,
And logic in an effort to regain some semblance of control.
We forget that we operate best when we see the value of both reason and emotion,
When we fuse them together to find the middle path.
Opportunities to practice observation skills are abundant.
We simply have to turn off autopilot and notice things.
Gaze at your surroundings.
Find something visually appealing to look at and spend a few minutes contemplating it.
Can you catch details that you might have missed by repeatedly glancing before quickly moving on to your next task rather than truly seeing?
Stop for a moment and listen,
Not just to the various sounds themselves,
But also to the silence between sounds.
Can you find a way to describe it?
When was the last time you stopped to savor a pleasant smell?
Can you differentiate between the subtle notes?
Does any one linger more than the others?
Feel things in ways you may have never done before.
Your body touching your clothes,
The space between your eyes,
Your feet touching the ground and rising up as you walk.
Imagine that your mind is the sky and that thoughts are clouds.
Can you watch them come and go as they drift on by without attaching any judgment or emotion to them?
Can you time the sensations that arise within you?
Are they constant?
Do they fluctuate or do they fade altogether?
Distance can dramatically shift the way we perceive things.
We've just about all experienced a situation that was humiliating or terrifying in the moment,
But with time,
We managed to find humor in it.
Learning to laugh good naturedly at our old ways of thinking is the best way to outgrow them.
Understand that the thoughts may have made sense back then,
But thoughts,
Emotions,
Sensations aren't permanent.
Hone the art of flexibility.
No matter what your age may be,
There's always room to grow.
Hold yourself to a higher standard by prioritizing this process.
